MOCK THE MOON

I accidentally killed myself─and my lover. And my friend. And my family. It's all in one person and I've killed them all together with me.

The cold, unforgiving ground pressed against my cheek. The world had turned silent. Vibrant colours turned monochromatic. It was a fitting end, I supposed. A finale to a life marked by obsession, a love so intense it had consumed me. I'm sorry.

I'm going to die with regrets.
This seems to happen a lot. I'm sorry. I can't seem to grasp the concept of balance. Every life, a new obsession, a new tragedy. A cycle of love, loss, and self-destruction. Is this perhaps my punishment? my eternal damnation for loving him. His existence. I'm sorry. I don't understand. Things has always been and will always be nice for me in terms of everything, even after this. But him, why not him? Why does it happen? Why don't he deserve me?

What went wrong? Did I hurt him again? I'm sorry. I tried my best, I really did. My hands are cruel, my mouth is dry, my heart does not stop, my mind is selfish.

I hope this hurts─for me. Not for him, not for them, not for you. Never you.

I hope this hurts for me, only me.
I had loved you, truly, desperately.

Maybe not now, maybe next time, maybe later, maybe tomorrow. I hope I am kinder, nicer─I hope I deserve you.
I'm sorry.

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Pub: 18 Nov 2024 13:08 UTC

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