unsent letters to those that i love.


to my first son: the moment i had you, my life had changed completely. i had always wanted you, to care for someone like you. at first, you were troublesome; always fighting with others, always horsing around...but, to me, you were the sweetest. after a while, you calmed down. you stopped fighting. you slept comfortably with me, and i loved hugging you tightly every night. you made me the happiest during my darkest moments in life. you were the one to save my life. every-time i thought about disappearing, an image of you would pop up in my head. i didn't want to see my little boy alone and upset. i'm sorry for ever thinking that way. the day i found out you had slipped away from my hands, it was like a gut punch to my stomach. i felt so sick. i thought about you for days. weeks. months. and i still do. i wish i was there for you during your last moments. i wish i was there to let you know that someone loves you. i think about how you died knowing that everyone was afraid of you. but not me. i was never afraid of you. i loved you through and through. and i always will. your step-brother, michi, is doing well today. he's healthy and happy in our new home. i hope you're happy for him as well. i hope you will always stick by his side until the end. and i hope you will always stick by mine. thank you, my son. i love you. forever.

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Pub: 22 Dec 2023 02:29 UTC
Edit: 17 Sep 2024 10:35 UTC
Views: 135