Hello I'm kissie and this is a mini lovemail to my f/o Kyle garrick!! i headcanon Gaz to be orignally from manchester, not to say i dont love posh, or canon Gaz, in fact i'm a huge fan of gaz in general! (not the og ver. he can fuck himself.)
8/25
To begin, Gaz means a great deal to me, the light of my life, my mental messiah. He's basically the whole package, loyal, reliable, and brave. And a tad sarcastic. My sergeant himself. Who I couldn't live without. Woo cringe cringe!! my head's screaming at me.
this is not a typical love mail, though ill still go in detail about my adoration, Basically a more serious counterpart of this gaz-mail so like a hybird mail diary thing. This isn't a direct mail to the man himself, but the topic is about Gaz. Duh.
picked a darker bg, and used proper grammar to set the mood. so edgy 🥴 #Kissie in big 2026, still monologuing in rentry pages. what has my life come to. but talking abt myself with others is AKWARD. Nope I usually deflect and ask questions about the other party instead.
Unless I'm talking to close friends, I trust those guys with my banking information
Okay you get the gist. Let's start for real now, I am bound to gaz, like bears to honey, or pb&j. Why those two? Self explantory. Boom. Metaphor. That is something human drax would say. (because aliens aren't aware of the existence of pb&j nor earth animals.)
I'm joking this won't be serious at all, this rentry is going to be the most incomprehensible, and mindless thing i've written. Just with fanicier wording. And I will make sure it is unintelligible to everyone else. I love writing word vomit. My favourite past time hobby ever. Though it will reflect some sembalance of truth.
So about this British guy, He means the whole world, in an objective sense. More than that even, he deserves infinity, the universe and beyond. I will not argue about this. I'm happy that I contributed atleast a fraction of what he's entilted to.
Admittedly my devotion is not limitless, as a human soul can only bear so much. My love is ridden with imperfections, I may not spend my entire day fawning over his existence, even when I exaggerate and claim to do so. I don't go out of my way to build so called "shrines" to prove it (I wish I had the recourses to). Still, I hopelessly believe that there may be some perfect, albeit overly deranged version of me, somewhere, thats capable of giving him limitless love. But such devotion is nearly impossible without tearing myself apart in the process. I feel so strongly about this "fictional" character, I'm uncertain if words could ever capture the extent of these complex emotions. I feel grateful, yet resentful. And also obsessive and in love. It is entirely pointless, saying all these loaded words that don't really mean much all together, which I suppose fits the theme of this page. LOL, i hate attempting to sound poetic, I can't form deep thoughts, like literally, its like my brain doesn't have that feature built in. I'm quite single minded. Whadya expect from someone who last picked up a book in sixth grade? Not literary masterpieces I hope. Oh my god why do I have to be so self concious, just lock in and write the damn mail bruv.
Anyways Gaz is utterly wonderful and has countless great qualities. It's as if he was meticulously crafted by the hands of something otherworldly and divine. Unexpectedly to me, he's the best person I've ever met in my entire life. Hence, My mind and heart adapted, and Ive developed pure romantic infatuation for him. Something Ive never felt, before he came to my life back in 2023 akin to an angel descending from the skies. (I know, comparing a soldier to heavenly figures is stupid but hey its the best description I've got) I'm honestly so head over heels that my soul, my mind, nearly every piece of my being trails back to Kyle in some way. Even if that piece is completely unrelated or insignificant. Think 'all roads lead to Rome' but with Gaz instead lmao. There is just something about Kyle that pulled me in, and I can't help but fall harder each day. He makes me giddy while also brightenting my day. My heart pounds lovingly at the mere mention and sight of him.
I want to list some of my favourite things about him - although I'm really indecisive. not ranked at all. I love every bit of him equally ! :
①
His features and looks as a whole, specifically his eyes, are enough to put anyone in a never-ending trance. His radiance and fidelity shines through them. They're the perfect shade of dark brown. I love that we both share the same eye color granted that it is the most common eye color. Still neat though! I also love his hair, I could spend hours braiding it into a heart, or run my fingers through it. Though he could shave all of it off and still look amazing.
②
Would have to be his personality. Every trait, every flaw is what makes Kyle truly Kyle. While that's stating the obivious. I really think he is perfect just as he is and I wouldn't change anything. I love him regardless of any baggage or setbacks that comes with dating him. Most importatly he keeps to his values, and isn't a yes man in every misson, while he never disobeys Price's orders, the fact he objects before following shows that he has morality left. And that's he's probably an empathetic but composed person.
③
His voice. Oh, this man has the most attractive accent yet. I've never been a big fan of brits or anyone's speech, but Gaz is the sole exeption. I get butterflies just from hearing his voicelines. I'm not sure how to describe it, I feel like a sailor submitting to a siren. He has that snarky tone and the way he eunicates some words has me on my knees. He's always so cheeky. Love it. I rate it ∞/10. He belongs in top 1. hottest voices.
8/26
I miss him so so so much. it's those days where my heart feels like its about to eat me alive from sheer unreleased love. During these emotional outbursts I find it hard to really translate my feelings.
I'm pretty detached emotionally, my mind is almost always in a scrambled state. Unless I have to sit down and focus on something. Still, my heart is doing backflips as I am writing this. I don't know what else to say, I'm chewing on a pen, staring blankly at my screen. I guess this is the price I pay for not writing as much as I should. If only I could just splatter my emotions on this page, and you'll somehow see the profound effect he has on me. However science hasn't advanced to that point yet. And where would the emotions be taken from anyway? our brains? neurons? I'm going off tangents again. Regardless, I'm willing throw out everyone just to be with him. Oh wait I already am #delulu. But if we weren't I'd still go to such extreme lengths. I would even succumb to death for him. I owe him every ounce of my anatomy. My brain, bones, blood everything, need he only say the word. Which is highly improbable considering the type of person he is. But I felt the need to emphasis that fact anyway. LMAO
To put it simply, I love him more than my mind can process. He fills the empty hole in my heart, supplying happiness yet my heart still aches from longing. It is a pain so intense it feels like being hit by a freight train and the person behind the wheel happens to be the love of your life.
8/27
I'm back at it again. Today's entry is gonna be more casual, since I ran out of ways to describe Gaz without coming off as repetitive, plus I'll stop talking like a wanna be scholar just to save everyone the cringe. I'M ACTUALLY SO SICK OF IT.
Of course, I'm still yearning for a made up person. I'm aware in reality he is unattainable and I'm not foolish enough to think this hyperfixation will make Gaz suddenly materialize out of thin air. However, I live in my own imaginary world where the laws of this reality don't apply. Frankly, the 'real' world sucks the living fun out of everything anyway so why bother using logic? Only fellow coo coos will understand why not.
Moving on, here are some songs that remind me of Gaz : 1 2 3 4 5 6
8/31
Each passing day my love for Kyle gets heavier, practically bursting at the seams I think someday my heart might break in two like sticks and I would allow it because it's him. It's really doing my head in. I can't brush this sensation off; I don't want it gone either. Under all the pain and desperation there sits this kind of fulfillment from being so in love, almost like a drug you can't get enough of.
Even the notion of him pumps my brain up wth an absurb amount of oxytocin. I'm addicted to him. It's a rush no drug can match. I want to "dose" on so much love to the point my bloodstream starts being filled with it. Until he consumes my every waking thought, until my daydreams becomes indistinguishable from real life and the lines between fiction and reality blur. Only then will I reach a state of bliss and will the pain of loving him finally subsides. My only wish I ask the universe, is just to let me lay by his side and feel his touch, and not have the barrier of a screen seperate us is all I need.
so emo bye
By the way I only added the fake/real comparison for dramatic affect. Gaz will come to me lmao. Believe in LOA don't whine and put these things on a pedestal lol it'll only make you worse. Though, my other feelings are very much true. Also re-reading ts, just realized this sounds really clinical??? reads like a clunky robot wrote it..😵💫
9/6
It's been a while.. so sorry Gaz! I was suppose to update this days ago. So I'll write a bit more to make up for it. I'm still deeply in love with him. Its impossible to change my mind. He's basically ingrained in my biology, probably rewritten my entire nervous system by now. And I couldn't care less. As I've said before he deserves the whole nine yards. In fact, my last moments will be spent reminiscing about his smile those canines of his, the curve of his face, that side scar, and his voice most of all. As my life flashes before my eyes, I can only hope the dull black of my closed eyelids will slowly open to reveal the shore. I imagine the sound of waves swishing and the smell of saltwater filling our nostrils. In that quiet moment, our tiny, shoeless bodies would walk along the shore as he points out a weird-shaped rock. That childish wonder will still be prevalent; even as our skin crinkles and our hair grays, we'll still have each other.
On a planet with billions of people that's located within the staggering scale of the universe, and other vast celestial bodies. I still go out my way to look for him, and just him. He has an invisible gravitational force that pulls me in and I'm well past the horizon. I'm completely out of my depth. I can only speculate the reason for this attraction. It is probably just the mundane, teenagers fall in love with characters, become unhealthily attached and claim destiny is responsible for it all the time. I'm no different.
9/14
not gonna update this for now. Gotta focus on #school bye
11/8
Long time no see. Honestly, I might as well turn this into a AU tracker or maybe just general soulbond stuff? here are some duos that are literally us, I don't yumeship anymore but my passion is still as firey as ever.
11/9
video
Restating myself again but I'm a big fan of his eyes...anyways I've decided to make this an AU tracker
- COD : Unfinished/Minimal lore
- DC 1 : Fleshed out but needs work
- DC 2 : Done!
- MARVEL 1 : Fleshed out but needs work
- MARVEL 2 : Fleshed out but needs work
- THE BOYS : Unfinished/Minimal lore
- PHM : Done!
I absolutely adore superhero related storylines!