VGL23 ASS Episode 3
Hour 1

QD and Toki are big
Reso, BoB, Bird, and Beebs are getting burgers
most managers are new to 17, makes the experience as if went to a new pes
/vn/ will not give their 3 points back to /mjg/
Beebs joins, has finished his suspension for being an off-siter
the New York Jets have been eliminated from playoff contention
Taco Bell is haram in Minnesota
weekend was better because Beebs didn't stream, less bad games
Reso is getting more goals, must be fucked up
every QD 17 stream has had a red card
Michigan and Ohio fought a war, Wisconsin lost
Beebs didn't watch /gfg/ in favor of sleeping
Toki is back from making a peanut butter sandwich
Streak keeps deleting his posts
/pmmm/ has yet to be scored on, same as /snowg/, /vn/, and /domg/
/pmmm/ a high key good team
were their opponents just bad?
defended well against st/ink/, a good team
What Was He Cooking? /gfg/'s early +2 call
might have struggled to score, felt max aggression was only way
but the loss in GD makes it harder to advance
/ddg/ different, died on a loss
+2 different on 17 than 19, growing pains
/gfg/ manager: worked in testing
Reso joins
/gfg/ somewhat bailed out by other game's result
/tf2g/ not good
why are they rated? good vibes team
BoB joins
did /ink/ improve or is /tf2g/ bad?
/tf2g/'s manager's clone: /tf2g/'s manager is retarded
/ink/ is a pet team, /tf2g/ had no chance
more fair for qualie teams to stay with their day 1 sliders instead of resubmitting after knowing opponents
this might not sit well with another league
that week break is lame
everyone picks /pmmm/ over /tf2g/
Beebs hot take: /pmmm/ won't be scored on. Turns out not that hot
QD and Toki think /tf2g/ can get one
Beebs fits in with ASS because his predictions are awful, satisfied with one /2hug/ good claim
Beebs and QD split on /gfg/-/ink/
Beebs thought /gflex/ was a joke, only exists because of schizos
cooler name though
Beebs' raifu was bombed in Frankfurt
Toki demands speed
/gflex/ new pet team, /gfg/ now hated by council
Reso yawns
Reso wishes to skip next group
/gbpen/'s manager posts a paragraph, immediately turned into a pasta
game was classic /lcg/ luck
Reso and Denko both want /lcg/ to be killed
Beebs doesn't use 4chan but knows what happens there
Reso yawns
/gbpen/ first half wonders, /lcg/ blunders into 2 goals
/gbpen/ extremely consistent
next VGL rigshop will take prop bets
Reso yawns
Kevin Hart will film a commercial for VGL Prize Picks
Reso doesn't want to talk about next game
/vgt/ look like a good team? no they don't their only good player was their keeper
/vgt/'s manager appropriates /gbpen/'s manager's pasta
Denko thinks /vgt/ are good, probably not final day tier
reminds him of teams that cause hell in HWC, glass cannon
competent management, usually loses immediately after groups
BoB will think /vgt/ are really good if they don't struggle against /lcg/
Beebs rates them since they swung with /akg/, Reso disagrees, the only one who swung was the keeper
Reso wants to sack Block Cero, who blocked zero
only probable replacement is probably FotM
Denko's dick is so big it needs four hands.
Denko's dick is so small it only needs an index finger.
Toki back to hating /akg/
/gbpen/ will advance, just like all their fans in chat want
Beebs thinks /vgt/ will win, Reso disagrees /lcg/ luck will carry them
Denko and Toki think /lcg/ are one of the worst teams they've ever seen, then remember /2hug/
previous /lcg/ runs were only because of their keeper and luck
PES is an RPG
Beebs would take 5 million dollars over backshots
QD and Denko predict /vgt/ and /akg/
Denko thinks /gbpen/ should have more points, BoB questions which team should have more points
Denko requests the Bald Man noooooooticer image
Group G is one of the worst groups they've ever seen
why did a /gig/ fan suddenly appear?
0 tik tok hours, femorhhoids
ASS loves /gig/ fans, one of the most schizophrenic generals on /vg/

Hour 2

/gig/ managers die soon after appearing
only smart /gig/ manager left after one league
the ideal VGL manager is a retard who isn't smart enough to stop managing
VGLco has taken direct action with a few teams before, close to it with /gig/ and /mmg/ this league
/mmg/ will be saved for final ASS
unlike /sthg/'s manager, /gig/ was completely new and clueless. installed pes 15
as long as he tries to learn he's fine
difference between retardation and negligence
/gig/ manager wasn't fully prepared, just wanted to stop team from dying
small gens won't know the big gen experience of 30 people wanting to kill you for losing
/gig/ matches really bad since they haven't even scored, saved by CEO of GEO
/snowg/ for some reason can only score once
should be winning by much more, they got the good auto as did /esg/
if /snowg/ beats /pg/ 1-0 they'll be added to the ASS background
is /pg/ good? Reso says really good
/snowg/ game the decider. /gig/ and /ksg/ are bad
/pg/ at least solid
Beebs declares this the year of the snowbunny
QD rates /pg/ to top
trends never last
most still pick /snowg/
/ksg/ has improved, /gig/ still sucks
/gig/ was eliminated the same week as the New York Jets
team should've been based on the Dolphins
speaking of the Jets, /dbg/
Aaron Rodgers American Flag
/uma/ is certified good, Denko ecstatic
if they lose to /alg/ it doesn't count
/alg/'s biggest win by 2, unofficial by 4
/dbg/'s offense is nonexistent
Reso tries to say something without sounding like an asshole
/dbg/ is built horribly. main setup player is nonmedal Puddlehan
What Was He Cooking? All the Gohans
they are all horrible despite being everywhere
Yajirobe is horrible in every position
/dbg/ only dangerous on the wings, like most teams on 17
Yajirobe was played OOP
Streak can't defend himself like the Jets
/dbg/ can still promote after a 7 goal swing
Jiren Jets
what was giga dose doc doing when he passed to Shonbori
/uma/ is VGLco's pet pet team
giga dose was under no pressure, somehow tried to pass to a player across the field
giga dose doc is a huge jobber
/dbg/ might be in trouble
/psg/ finally realized how to run a cup winning export
/psg/ is down a medal? /dbg/ is down 5 medals
Cat Louis only avoided a red card because it wasn't QD's PES
/psg/ suddenly figures out how to be good after years right before playing /dbg/
Beebs picks /dbg/, thinks they can pull a win out after staring at oblivion
New York Jets
Toki asks Streak to get a bit besides the Jets
he likes the Yankees, smiles directly at Streak
Bayern Munich doesn't count
Player of the Day: /vgt/'s SSCS Safety Car
runners-up: /ink/'s Harmony, /psg/'s Cat Louis
Streak posts a car doing the worm
GRINCHbellum
/smtg/ was ground into coal
/smtg/ saw the most goals they'll ever see in their lives
/smtg/ just seemed mindbroken, gegen and DDL on a 4-2-4
CHUDbellum demands /smtg/ run DDL
/nikg/ certified good, first match was MERCY
Toki says /nikg/ are top 4 tier, let small team /xivg/ have 3
/nikg/ will be a /vg/ medal, then spend 6 VGLs languishing after /vg/ kills them
Reso requests Essex and Doro up there, bench Git Gud for one cup for Rabi
get Kot in there as well
can't wait to see them get murdered by character name, character name, and character name
/xivg/ impressive
/llsifg/ has a dog but does not have dawg
/llsifg/ crumbles to every obstacle, pure bottom energy, always picks backshots
hey troonsoup, backshots or 5 million dollars
nyo...
GODbellum about to kill /llsifg/, RAPISTbellum, SATANbellum, GAYbellum, GENGHISbellum, GOOSHGOOSHbellum
/smtg/ still buckbroken from being raped
gayest ASS ever
Group JETS JETS JETS JETS
Toki asks if this is how Reso felt, Reso points out Toki got 2 saves and 1 point
Denko says /2hug/ is fucking terrible, absolute dogshit, never seen a worse team in PES17, a waste of game memory, a waste of save data, a travesty to his eyes
and they have a point
CHUDbellum is produced, better than Beebs' image
/smtg/ has competed in 7 leagues, made a final, made another final day, and their only legacy is getting whacked by CHUDbellum
/smtg/ chose backshots
/vn/ did what /2hug/ did last week but it's okay
TURN THE GAME OFF
/kfg/ and /mjg/ both probably the good teams in the group, /mjg/'s goals were both kickoff though
Beebs, the Timothee Chalamet of ASS, picked /2hug/ and /mjg/
/mjg/ has a medal suspended
SURELY /2hug/ can take a point against a team down a medal who forgets nightlies and uses the wrong preset
Toki is a specialist in failure
/mjg/ reveals their tactics for next week
/2hug/ does not have a gameplan, has a book of schizo shit
/2hug/ was the easiest team Toki has ever tested against, /2hug/ never won a single test
/2hug/ was also oversharing their test results
bottom 10 all time team, got a point
ghosts of past /2hug/ managers are also retarded
NOT THAT AVATAR
/kfg/ and /mjg/ picked, except Beebs how picks /2hug/ as usual

Hour 3

people started rating /kfg/ randomly a few leagues ago
loooooooooooping
JETS JETS JETS JETS
Denko right about /wtg/ being best in that group
/wtg/ looks solid
Beebs, BoB, and QD completely wrong about group
every team Reso wanted to win lost, /wtg/'s number one hater
Denko says /wtg/ is alright, everyone disagrees
/bag/ bad defense, no offensive cohesion
cromulent
Beebs and BoB don't think /bag/ are a bottom team, just faced the two best teams already
Denko says /sthg/'s caretaker is the most pathetic one he's ever seen
few things piss Denko off but one is complete negligence
didn't make any new aesthetics, barely put together old ones, took hours to make fixes for the auto
on the level of Blinky /ddlc/ and /dng/
first game /sthg/ barely showed up, but second game there were people in chat and in the thread, but still didn't submit anything
caretaker shitposts in discord instead of doing anything, said had models but didn't submit them
might've killed /sthg/ for good because there is nothing worth looking at, despite having an extra week
/sthg/ made a hype, QD had to be given it by /egg/'s manager
What Was He Cooking? /sthg/ cooked nothing
category 5 trvth nvke
someone could've spent a lot of time making that and never had it seen because of the caretaker
/gig/'s manager apparently also missed one, but was the worst hype video ever
that rouge the bat is not thick, Toki is not weight painting it
QD doesn't think /sthg/ will be killed, /tf2g/ and /alg/ survived similar
BoB translates Toki's British back to him, is accused of making the post
Reso says whoever gets hard to the Rouge model needs to be shot, Streak immediately gets hard
they call him the WHAT
/egg/ certified good
Oh Streamer!!!! I'm ready for Group L!!!!
QD says /hgg2d/'s game was one of their lighter autisms, the stats disagree
didn't feel bad because there was only one concession
/hgg2d/ has so much copy preset, save tactic, setup unused preset voodoo
felt worse in the first game with all the concessions
Reso suggests Mabel's RNG manipulation could be from a schizo reddit post
QD felt /2hug/ was more autistic
/2hug/ is unpredictably autistic, /hgg2d/ is extremely predictable
Beebs likes both, QD only gets annoyed in games like /hgg2d/-/hanny/
250 people watched /hgg2d/-/domg/, no one noticed the silver DMF was subbed until after the game
brilliant move, /hgg2d/ couldn't have prepared for it
I'm losing to a /domg/ down a medal, and ASS is going to bend me over and gape me? YABBA DABBA DOO
pet team /hanny/ won a game
/hanny/'s decade? /indie/ also trash, manager probably retiring, thread hit a schizo storm
leave the gen before the gen leaves you
/hanny/ has dawg, /domg/ looks really good too
BoB suggests that after /hgg2d/'s corners, /hanny/ has looked like the best team in the cup
QD believes in /domg/'s defense
Reso still mad about /domg/'s invisible goal of the tournament
will still lose to final day squat toilet
Beebs thinks Jevil's was better, Reso, BoB, and Denko prefer SEX's blooter
but Jevil has context
Beebs watches sex
Player of the Day: /domg/'s Waifu of Love and War
most noticeable of /domg/'s great defense
lets all laugh at /alter/
Toki proven completely wrong about /gbfg/ being capable of changing
both 22 finalists suck
/gbfg/ was dominant until they made their pastebin changes
/skg/ only looked capable after /gbfg/'s bad changes
QD notices Rouge's penis
HE summarized /alter/'s game
how did /alter/ bottle it?
/alter/ managed over discord. Toki wants to do that too, hexchat sucks
Beebs kills anyone who doesn't use IRC
Karth called Reso his sunshine, Reso called Karth his pookie
one match of Discord management and there's ERP
all pick /@/ to pick /gbfg/ who will never change
/alter/ generational bottlers
5 of /@/'s 7 goals after 80
Bird was complaining about Reso's PES until /@/ started winning
complaining works
/@/ started winning when Reso stopped believing
fastest goal of all time, potential fastest yellow card
Denko eats crow for thinking the record couldn't be beat
speedrunner BoB thinks a faster goal is possible
Home - We're Finally Landing starts playing
Denko proclaims THIS will never be beaten
Jevil is in the history books
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN was sent off earlier for nothing, worried Pixy would be
still haven't had another really ded
critikal made a video on the frog situation
/utg/ LIED
google doesn't let you filter for tranny sissies
/utg/ is the powerhouse ASS was expecting
Total Washed General
wegh is so bad, BoB says he's the only gold you can actually say is cooked since he was on /vg/
all he did the whole game was dive
Beebs offers Etemon, BoB says he wasn't a /vg/ gold, plenty of silvers have been killed
/twg/ should have at least a point
but ended up in a very manageable 9-3-3-3
/aceg/ fine but now not sure they can beat /twg/
Reso laughed at the back and forth jinxing
/twg/ one dimensional narrow 3-4-3, somehow wegh still ended up on the touchline setting up a kebab store on the corner flag
the Bald Man noooooooticer image is posted
Beebs notices he hasn't been posting matrices
Toki and Beebs say /4ccg/ has gotten better as a thread
/4ccg/ has a fentanyl problem, /4ccg/ is WHITE, /4ccg/ actually has a fat problem
stop shoving your fat fetish down everyone's throat
Streak is the fatposter
Reso accuses cunnysoup
/ag/ and /AG/ had a wikifight, /ag/ won
blackrock are funding /AG/
post feet instead of fat, fat people have the worst feet
QD posts a fat foot
/4ccg/ less doomy and negative, the enjoooooyers have taken over
the non-fun havers left
Denko wants thighposting
the New York Jets were eliminated from the playoffs
Aaron Rodgers American Flag

Hour 4

photoshop Gohan's head on Aaron Rodgers
Denko will give 30 kek reacts to whoever makes the image
the VGL is the AGL
Denko misread a request from /fgog/'s manager to give a pastebin to Reso
/fgog/'s manager could have just sent it to Reso himself
Denko thought it wasn't a big deal, actually had them on the wrong preset
/smbg/ got away with another one
/fgog/ having an inside man was a negative
Denko doesn't want fat thighs, he wants thighs like the Kyoko
Blue Archive raspberries second best post of last 30 minutes behind CHUDbellum
gilkeks
/hsrg/ looked really good
/omg/ looked pretty bad
why does /omg/ have the same model as a goalkeeper and defender?
Reso has never seen sonii socks, can only see them if you have soniiW
why are there two /omg/s?
/OMG/ is a PC port of Hogwarts mystery
Denko has a restraining order on Streak
/omg/ gets one win per cup, /smbg/ isn't very good
split opinions on /fgog/ and /hsrg/
Beebs thinks /fgog/ will choke
someone put the Rouge model into PES, just as Toki planned
Beebs requires her to have a cock
lmao nepFRAUDs
Beebs declares nepFRAUDs the most entertaining VGL team
everything changed in the game at sub time, do not do subs
the council saved /fgog/ by not making subs
/nepgen/ folded, their defense is awful, might be worst in the league
/vrg/ hapless as Beebs knew, says /nepgen/ will stomp them
/esg/ might be the best auto, them or /snowg/
autodoubter must kneel to jammies
/esg/ doesn't have an identity
ASS invented everything funny about /snowg/
Toki says /esg/ has no visual cohesion, contrasts with /vrg/'s cohesion
/esg/ has support, just needs something funny to latch on to
/esg/ should just be /e7g/, replace them all with /rabi/
fully modeled chibi Rabi
snowbunny mind control AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA
BoB declares himself the /vrg/ picker, everyone else besides Streak picks /nepgen/
someone's ceiling bird chirps (probably Denko)
most also pick /esg/ over /ddg/
Beebs accuses ASS of being that other show after everyone agrees
if the yugioh event wants to run as a VGL event, Toki wants specific general decks
a strange noise is made (definitely Beebs)
it was the fatposter making fat fold sounds
Streak requests a stop to the accusations of being the fatposter
Beebs says ASS is not like those cock-sucking faggot KEKOLDS at first FUCKASS
Beebs is banned from first fuckass
send Beebs soundclips to the 4cc winter shitposting box
Best of Beebs
all side events are AI vs AI, yugioh is people vs people
yugioh AI is awful
need AI game and general themed cards
come back in 6 months more fleshed-out
never had a mid-cup side event, everything else was planned beforehand
Reso makes a noise
side events normally aren't told to the generals, mainly for those always around
/vgt/'s manager always posts in caps, probably sounds like Alex Jones
Beebs accused of talking after he vapes
changamor discovers the twitch stream, thinks it's the dark web
Player of the Day: /hsrg/'s SCAMpo
sexiest goal of the day, wilding for whippets, very prevalent in the game
Denko stopped playing Spongebob because he was laughing too hard at ASS
Kai Havertz of the Week: /twg/'s wegh
absolute abhorrent, nuke him, garbage, worst case of /vg/ medal curse, kebab shop
it's his fault /twg/ lost as he listens in from his cave
make a VGL drawpile
Reso attempts to digest his McDonald's burger
Streak wants the Yankees to sign Juan Soto, Bird's Mets takes him instead
THE JETS?!
Streak motivates other managers
Reso gets yelled at to do good
please add auties submissions or Denko will have to pick them all
Denko links his OC's butthole

End

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Pub: 09 Dec 2024 10:01 UTC

Views: 161