Hi! I'll use this to talk about Kataang & my thoughts on Zutara. This is a WIP for now.
Just for clarification, I don't hate Zutara nor do I enjoy it. I do not engage in ship discourse nor am I up for debates regarding this topic.
My thoughts on Zutara
Disclaimer: You're free to ship whoever you want, this is just my personal opinion on Zutara, so don't take anything I say to heart. This is no way of villianizing Zuko in any shape or form.
Starting with Katara’s perspective, it's important to recognize the extent of Zuko’s actions throughout the series, particularly prior to Book Three, while still taking his background and motives into consideration. For a significant portion of the narrative, Zuko was constantly pursuing Katara and the people she cared about in an attempt to restore his “honor,” even resorting to exploiting the final heirloom left behind by her mother. However, the primary focus of this discussion will be Book Two, Episode Twenty.
As we all know, Zuko betrays Katara's trust right after their conversation of how both of them lost a parental figure due to the war, making them develop a somewhat deep connection over their shared trauma, with Zuko stating that he's changed. And this made Katara feel as though Zuko understood her pain, even offering to use the sacred spirit water to heal his scar, a wound left forever, by his own father. All of that trust, being built up, just for it to be crushed after he went against his own words and teamed up with Azula, leading to Aang's death. Many Zutara shippers completely ignore how much pain Katara must've been in, immediately rushing towards Aang's side to save him, and if it wasn't for Iroh's help, who knows how things could've escalated. But of course, that's up to speculation. And that same spirit water she had once offered to Zuko, ended up being used on Aang. Mind you, this was the last interaction she ever had with Zuko, before he showed up again, asking to be Aang's firebending teacher. Now, put aside your view on Zuko for a moment. Whether if you find solace in him, or you just simply find him attractive. For us viewers, we've seen everyone's perspectives, but you know who hasn't? The characters themselves. How would you feel if you had revived your friend, just for someone who helped in the process of eliminating him, show up, and ask to be his bending teacher? That someone, also being the same person who was hunting down your group for months, causing unnecessary conflict and problems, and someone that shared their story with you but still chose violence even after you offered comfort and a place to heal. Katara viewed him as someone that was manipulative, cunning, and especially one that wanted to bring harm upon Aang, which also caused her to make remarks against him.
I'm tired of seeing Zutara shippers that go to extreme lengths glorifying Zuko as some kind of savior towards Katara, because he isn't.
At the start of the series, Zuko was banished from the Fire Nation for speaking out of turn. Ozai viewed this action as highly disrespectful, forcing Zuko to face him in an Agni Kai. Initially, Zuko agreed to the duel because he did not know his opponent would be his own father. However, once he realized he had to face Ozai, he refused to fight. Ozai viewed this surrender as shameful cowardice, so he burned Zuko's face, stripped him of his title, and exiled him.
During book 1, we know that Zuko was obsessed with capturing Aang because, in his eyes, it was the only way that he could gain back his honor, which was by Ozai accepting him. But Iroh would be the one to teach him that honor comes from making the right choices. Zuko wouldn't listen and instead would see it as weakness. He was desperate to come back home, so he was blinded, not realizing that people like Iroh and Katara were giving him chances Katara offering to heal his scar and Iroh trying to give him a better life.
As we could see from him and Jin, he didn't know how to react to Jin loving him the way she did because he was insecure and didn't think that he deserved to be loved by her, especially because that life for him would be a lie. He didn't want to give up on his old life. As someone being hunted and exiled, he would have never got to go home and get the approval from Ozai that he wanted. He felt like that was all he was worth for. Not only that, but he wouldn't be able to have his mother back.
Now for when they were in the cave, Katara offered to heal Zuko's scar, meaning that he would go back to the way he was before the injury then be able to side with Team Avatar. Now, this may seem like a good thing, but once again, he'd have to give up his life, start anew, and still be against the Fire Nation. Why would he want that? His home is the Fire Nation. But he also had the choice by Azula to come back home and Ozai be told that they had captured the Avatar, meaning that his dream was finally right in front of him.
And he chose Azula's side. He did get all that he wanted, but it didn't feel the way he expected it to feel. He felt guilty, frustrated, and mad at himself. Feeling guilty for betraying Iroh and Katara, he caused Katara so much pain, knowing how he had made her felt. The betrayal completely broke Katara's trust, which led Katara to giving him a hard time to trust him when he came back. This shows us that their friendship wasn't meant to be romance or anything. It was supposed to show forgiveness and healing.