tl;dr, I'm trans.

Hello everyone, It’s your son, soon not be. (Please read the document before contacting me) Feel free to leave comments in the document that for clarification/ questions tl;dr, I wish to still have a relationship with all of you without who I am/ want to be being resisted.

History and why I didn’t completely come out sooner (CW: this may be seen as distasteful in some areas)

For a long time I've been living with gender identity issues but chose not to express it out of fear of judgement especially from the more conservative side of the family (you guys). I did initially sought out Trans healthcare back in late 2022 however a bit later down the line when Mom wasn’t doing so well I needed a break, With grandma and grandpa giving me the opportunity to have a comfortable place to stay at the cost of not being able to seek Trans health and to “stop the Naomi shit” (Grandpa, 23rd Nov 2023)
I agreed to it and abided by it. I still wanted to progress on my journey but at the time I needed fortitude so I changed everything, my “Naomi LASTNAME” accounts and contacts to “DEADNAME LASTNAME”, upholding my side of the agreement. And it was fine, until an old school friend who had only known me as Naomi came over and their parents used that name. Later in the car when heading to dinner in the car grandma asked quote “What’s up with her referring to you as Naomi? I thought we had a deal.”(Grandma, 21st Feb 2024)
With the deal literally having implications on my fucking living arrangements how else could have I taken it as anything else but a threat? And the fucking mafia boss themed text “I thought we had a deal” DID NOT PLAY WELL. I successfully explained and justified that they mostly knew me whilst I was still going by Naomi and that they just hadn’t had time to adjust, which I thought closed the issue. However when changing my name on my AppleID, my phone continued to push Naomi as my contact name.
Grandpa noticed and whilst in the car with me asked me what that was about which i explained it probably just the cache hadn’t been updated. He doubted me saying “The cache would have updated by now” which I ignored due to me not governing the Apple Servers. Regarding the topic to the previous “call out” I talked about how what grandma said made me feel and grandpa talked about it being less about maintaining the deal and more about trust which I thought was okay until he said “She just expected you to maintain the deal, which you didn’t do.” With all this distrust and poor phrasing (“which you didn’t do”) I believed that a slight change of winds would get me kicked out, so I left so I didn't have the chance to be removed manually.

What now?

Now that I no longer need to hold up my side of the deal due to now being back at mum’s place I will be continuing to seek Trans healthcare and continuing to use the name Naomi. I do want to have a relationship with all of you but I want to be able to make my own decisions without being criticised or judged. Just because you have your own biases on Trans healthcare or healthcare in general based on religion, political views and generation I am willing to talk about my personal experience.
However, straight up picking apart my choice based on opinion or conservative news articles that either are deaf to everyone but themselves or cherry pick data to put the consensus in their favour i’m not interested in, I am willing to have constructive conversation without being shut down. Over the next few years I expect to be referred to by Naomi however it isn’t required to call me by she/her pronouns due to currently not looking completely feminine and/or for some that may be too much although it would be appreciated.

Edit
Pub: 26 May 2024 01:48 UTC
Edit: 26 May 2024 02:37 UTC
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