i wrote this the night b4 your birthday i pray i dont sound retarded + rushed. im sure youll appreicate it nonetheless. i love uou

so hey nattiecakes hi hi hi hi guess who waves at you enthusiastically jumps up and down and giggles ☺☺☺☺☺ hehehehe hey i love you so so much happy 16th goddamn bday nathaniel nathan natsterz norman nintendo nonbinary natalie nattie noot noot nat boulevard jr the third . its so fr*ckin weird that this is the third ( ) birthday thingie im writing you cuz like last week we were on discord talking about nothing 4 hours and now were on discord and pinterest and instagram and strawpage and twitter and tiktok and whatsapp and like everything else talking about even more nothing 4 hours. some things never change and im happy that our friendship is one of yhem. ive grown quite fond of you i suppose.. when i say that i couldnt be understating it more im incredibly fond of everything you do and youre like a star in my eyes. its impossible for you to not shine 2 me ill always find something new to love about you or something that i want to tell you about or somewhere i wanna go with you.. pretty much any place im @ i just think about how much more fun it would be if you were there with me lol its really lame but i still wanna live 2gether one day. now that im doing alot better like mentally its much easier 4 me to invision actually living to an age that we would be able 2 do that it makes me more exited i wanna do music and art on the side but i think i want to do tattoos and piercings? or maybe hair. something cool ashit that youll be scared of i can poke myself in the face and youll just stand there and take it like a good boi cuz you looooove me <3 i hope you still do at least. i know you do but its fuckin crazy that youre here after all this time like its been three years nattie THREE YEARS IS LIKE. ALOT but were still stayin strong asf as fuck. youre still my bestfriend and thats never changed , im afraid it never will and ill be 40 yrs old tweaked out on meth writing your name with a cigarette butt on the ground before i pass out for the final time #what ❓ whatever man shakes my ass. i love you more than anyone else in the entire world dude im not sure if you actually know that . not your fault im not mad because i know that you are mentally ill which is why one day i am going 2 open a hospital got sidetracked i mean i know you have a disorder that makes you isolte yourself and not want to speak to anyone and makes you think everyone hates you (they dont) and you think i dont care but i care more than you could ever ever ever know. you have always been my top priotity and i havent ever loved someone in the way i do , not in a romantic sense but in the way that you made me feel cared about for the first time in my entire life and it altered the way i see the world and everyone i meet. i look 4 you in everything and somehow always find something that leads me back to your face and your laugh and our jokes and the love ill always have for you and i know that wont ever go away for as long as im alive . as long as im on earth there will be someone who loves you , no matter how unlovable you feel no matter how sad or angry or numb or anything i will always always always love you for who you are, nothing could change that. youre so perfect and i love you. youre the kindest soul ive ever met and ill tell anyone that a thousand times overactually i do that alot i guess everyone in my life knows you at the very least. i could talk about you forever because theres really no limit to how i feel #cornball #retard #fag #gay #ihateyou #letsdie but its not just about how youre cool. its about how amazing of a person you truly are and how lucky i am 2 have you in my life i know for sure without you i wouldnt be here today cuz just the thought of you has saved me more times than i can think of ive deadass lost count but its strange that you chose to stay with me despite how bad i treat you sometimes. its not like im abusing you and grooming your little 16 yo body i mean more not responding immediatley? its because i get scared to open your message cuz what if its a paragraph about how much you hate my fucking gutz i know it isnt but i get anxious and try to distance myself even when i dont wanna do anything except be as close to you as i possibly can.. its not on purpose. im workinv on it i swear to baka im getting better im taking my meds and eating everyday , i hope you are too. i want you to do better i want you to be able to be happy one day i really dont want anything else other than to make your life better even when i fuck with you and stress you out or do something retarded i still wanna be there 4 you because youre a once in a lifetime oportunity like fr ive never met anyone like you in my life and i like it that way , therell never be anyone like you to me and i prefer that cuz theyll never be you anywyas. i think youre cooler than anyone else i know and its awesome that you think im cool 2. youve taught me what a friend is and im so so sos so so so so so so lucky to have you nattie throughout our entire friendship ive always felt so at home with you, i would sit in my own room in my own house and still feel like i wanted to go home but the issue is youre home. youve been every birthday wish every 11:11 every prayer every dandelion i always wish that ill stay with you in my life and isnt that gay as hell dawg its really dumb and i dont really care cuz its you. ive shown and told you more about me than i have with pretty much anyone youre #lucky that im open with you you unlocked the faggy michael dlc when we would cry on call with eachother out of happiness. i miss that alot, sometimes i dream about it i like when we talk about how much we love eachother and how much we mean to one another it makes me feel like i matter somewhere and it makes me feel even better knowing youre out there with love for me i guess. i dont like change but ill change and grow with you if youd let me. we can stay in an apartment one day and we can be at home together and itll be easier for us both. we can eat and joke and laugh and cry and sing and sleep and do anything you could possibly want idgaf if youre close to me itll all be special and i know you love me and i cant believe i hit the fucking jackpot with you as a bestfriend , ive never been closer to anyone in my life and i had never felt truly cared about b4 i met you. you taught me things i didnt think i needed to know so thanks . for being there i guess. i love you. you changed my life for the better , altered my brain chemistry , the timeline im living in , my soul, all that shit and i wouldnt have it any other way. youre the sweetest and most caring person i have ever met in my life and the only one whos ever shown me what love is. thank you for stayinv with me through it all cheers to another year of bullshit. lets actually meet this year ok?? im tired of being apart its like when twins get seperated at birth and have that weird telepathy thing where they can feel the others prescensce or whatever the fuck? kinda like that i suppose but not in a sibling way more in a platonic soulmate way. youre the most special thing in my life and i love you nat you are my best friend ever i dont think youll ever know how much i care 4 you
lets make this year cool as hell again together ok??
xoxo mikey <3