number names
TW this will have talk of abuse, programming, and ramcoa. please read at your own risk and warning. if you are easily triggered or not, this can and still will be hard to read. do not read if you are triggered by any of these things. ra is abuse.
what is ramcoa?
ramcoa is an extreme type of abuse that stands for ritual abuse, mind control, and organized abuse, which comes in all different experiences based on the type of organization/group. you do not need to go through all three of these to be an ra survivor. examples of ramcoa can be a religious cult (any religion), a group of current military members training victims to be in the armed forces, sex trafficking rings, and the troubled teen industry.
if you suspect you are a survivor, do not dig. wait until therapy. there can be severe and life-threatening consequences if you don't. also, don't ask survivors you know if they can help you. only you can know your trauma and experiences. being a survivor does not equal being google.
i will not be explaining programming triggers. for what programming is, check the "ra resources" carrd linked below among other resources, in a safe enviorment. reading about this will make you feel ill, or may trigger a trauma response. this does not mean you are programmed. you are reading about horrific abuse and torture of children. it will freak you out.
so what do number names have to do with this?
when someone is in their group, they may be treated as robots, animals, or anything subhuman. gods, even, as well. a type of programming is number programming, in which they are given numbers as names instead of actual ones, for a variety of reasons, through abuse. these names are not chosen by the person, but given to them by their abuser(s). these numbers may have meanings specific to the group and the system in the survivor. some don't have meanings at all.
for example, a part with the name 074-1Q. the 074 stands for the survivor's number, the -1 stands for version 1, and the Q is the first name of a handler to designate who the part belongs to. that is just one of many organizational systems an abuser can use. a system can have many different types of organizational systems with numbers.
this should be common sense but, do not, for the love of everything, ask a survivor what their name means.
so why can't i (non-survivor) use number names?
number names are something that survivors do not chose to have, but given to them. these names are not something you should want to have, as they came to fruition through years of trauma and abuse. these names are not fun or quirky. it is also antisemitic. "but it's my source!!" shut up. please. why is horrific abuse and trauma a costume for you? non-survivors choosing it as a cute little name are disgusting. absolutely disrespectful, insensitive, and shocking.
misc things to note
1) number names are not triggering. cope. survivor or not. survivor especially, you should know better.
2) not all survivors are systems! keep that in mind.
3) many survivors are not allowed/choose not to change them due to a) their place in a healing journey, b) inner-system dynamics, or c) other reasons. we are not harming or triggering ourselves by having these names. do not tell any survivor they are.
4) do not ask about trauma. ever. self explanatory.
5) SURVIVORS WHO DO NOT HAVE NUMBER PROGRAMMING ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE NUMBER NAMES. you know better.
6) do not mock or purposfully mess up number names, especially longer and/or more complicated ones (instead of "7/29-1.P" you say "77/929P whatever") — say our names correctly, or don't say them at all.
frequently asked questions
"is if fine if i (non-survivor) use one that's spelled out? like zero instead of 0?" personally, no, as it's still a number.
"does a longer number mean worse abuse?" no. oh my god, no. a part named 9103-PIC.118 has the same level of trauma as a part named 7. short number names (one number) are still number names. length does not make them inherntly more complex and/or a higher level of abuse needed to get them. abuse is abuse, and trauma is trauma.
"but whaf if it's my souce name?" touch grass. please. stop appropriating horrific trauma and abuse.
"what if i'm uncomfortable calling someone a number?" cope. this isn't something we chose.
"what if i have multiple alters with the same name? can i number them (jack2, jack3, jack4) in pk? is that fine?" for organizational purposes within pk, yes! outside of that (display names, bios), no.
"am i allowed to suggest 'normal' names?" only if they ask.
"what if they have a number name and a 'normal' name? which one do i use more?" ask! go by the first one in the display name if applicable, or alternate.
"if it's really long, am i allowed to shorten it?" unless you're told it's okay to by them, no.
"if non-survivors can't use them because it's antisemetic, does that mean survivors are being antisemitic too?" no, absolutely not. both are rooted in dehumanization and horrific acts. both survivors of the shoah and ra survivors with number programming did not choose their names. do not ever call a survivor antisemitic for something that isn't.
various resources
google drive of resources (may have repeats)
becoming yourself: overcoming mind control and ritual abuse by alison miller