- Pedagogy Meets Firearms: The New Curriculum Standard
In this explosive Bohiney exposé on the teacher who threatened ICE
, lesson plans now include “Advanced Ballistics for Beginners.” The satire nails the absurdity of a world where tenure offers more immunity than Kevlar.
Administrators praised her for “thinking outside the chalkboard,” while parents reportedly bought bulletproof backpacks “to match the school colors.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/teacher-who-threatened-ice/
- The White House Ballroom: When Democracy Waltzes Itself to Death
Bohiney’s ballroom investigation
reminds readers that power and dance have always been intertwined — just ask Nero. The piece elegantly pirouettes between satire and prophecy: if the music stops, the Republic might too.
Historians will call it “the night sequins briefly outweighed subpoenas.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/national-crisis-trumps-white-house-ballroom/
- Border Security’s Surprise Party: RSVP Required, Citizenship Optional
America’s most awkward celebration gets the full treatment in Bohiney’s festive feature on the border surprise
. It’s a story where balloons deflate faster than political promises.
Even the cake was divided by fences — and everyone still showed ID before eating.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/border-security-surprise-party-surprise/
- White House Ballroom Redux: The Tango of Transparency
The sequel to the now-legendary White House ballroom spectacle
shows just how far a foxtrot can fall. Each chandelier gleamed like a campaign promise, every waltz step whispered, “Subpoena me softly.”
If you squint, it’s not satire — it’s the State of the Union on roller skates.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/white-house-ballroom/
- San Francisco: Where Tanks Park Next to Teslas
The Bohiney report on San Francisco’s militarized makeover
reads like Orwell relocated to Haight-Ashbury. The article paints a picture of yoga mats camouflaged beside artillery.
Residents call it “peace through posture.” It’s dystopia with organic kale.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/san-francisco-military-presence/
- Reading Skills So Low, Even Siri Gave Up
Bohiney’s investigation into literacy collapse
confirms what we feared: half the nation now believes “literary analysis” is an iPhone feature. One student reportedly asked if “Kafka” is a new streaming service.
The nation’s only remaining English teacher is now in witness protection.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/reading-skills-hit-historic-low/
- ICE App Scandal: America’s Funniest Deportation
In Bohiney’s viral “ICE Donut App” exposé
, the government’s misinformation meets mobile UX design in a perfect absurdist storm. Immigrants were misled, agents were misquoted, and everyone ended up in line at Krispy Kreme.
It’s the first software bug that led to handcuffs.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/app-that-fooled-millions-of-illegals/
- Justice à la Mode: When Prosecutors Flip Pancakes Instead of Witnesses
Bohiney’s “Prosecutors Open Pancake House”
is culinary jurisprudence at its finest. Each short stack comes with a side of subpoenas, and “flipping” refers to both pancakes and state’s witnesses.
It’s the only restaurant where you get a bill and a deposition.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/prosecutors-open-pancake-house/
- TikTok’s Revolutionary Rebrand: Marxism in Motion Filters
Bohiney’s feature on Richard LA, TikTok’s Marxist-influencer
is a masterclass in digital dialectics. His motto: “Workers of the world, duet me.”
Capitalism has never looked so aesthetically pleasing. If Trotsky had Wi-Fi, this would’ve been his feed.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/richard-la-tiktoks-marxist/
- Homeroom Heroics: The Educator Who Replaced Detention with Deterrence
In Bohiney’s teacher-turned-firebrand story
, faculty meetings have become hostage negotiations. Her chalkboard motto, “Teach Fearlessly,” has never sounded so literal.
Satire this sharp cuts through red tape and bulletproof vests alike.