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⚢ ranting, lovemail, etc. ⚢

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april fourth first rant lets go. IM NOT MENTALLY ILL AND IM EMPLOED SHUTUP ok anyways. um. i love her so much guys pls i still remember the EXACT day and time j first listened to it. it was january 20th 2024 at around 4:30 AM my biggest regret is not listening to it earlier or being there for the premiere like wtf man. WHY DID I WAIT FOUR DAYS..?????? UGUFHRHHH (i go outside. shh) i swear i dont even know what happened i just gradually became attached to the song and then to her.. i have the lyrics engraved into my mind from how many nights i was pacing around listening to it over and over because my stomach was hurting with jealousy and i didnt have another way to calm down. i think it was around october i started to really develop feelings for her but i was in denial until late november because i was terrified of being attacked by people for liking her (this is also why i kept my yume stuff private until february) i remember whenever j felt unloved i would turn to her and her song for comfort and holy fuck it worked..!! i genuinely dont think ive ever been so attached to a character. ive had past f/os but none of them have compared to her. ive written so many rants and fanfic and headcanons about her, its hard for me to focus at school because i cant stop thinking about her.. i should probably put pictures of my shrine here too. my room is literally covered in pictures and custom merch of her. i love her so much its not even funny it gets to the point where i get really fucking angry and upset when i see people shipping her with other characters/sexualising her etc etc I KNOW THATS BAD BUT. when i get attached to a character like this i get really possesive/sensitive over things like that so... anyways ill stop being a FREAK now. my dearest missy i love you so much!!!!!! <3

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bro... look at my girlfriend...im fucked... (i cherish her deeply anyways its okay she can stab me sometimes i dont mind. haha. help)
FREAK

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(ᵔ⤙ᵔ ♡) hehe i love her so much i love my girlfriend she means so so much to me shes so precious and i love her for giving me a reason to keep going im going to write a love letter to her here sometime (please dont throw tomatoes at me pleeeaseee ims orry for beinggay)

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yes i am writing this on my school computer. what about it. there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. i have no disorders. (btw my gpa is actually good. i have good grades im genuinely terrified of failing classes. i may be unemployed but my GPA is peak. okay???) (okay. thanks for agreeing that theres nothing wrong with me heres my. Letter. Heh)

My dearest missy, i want to thank you for getting me through so much. I know you dont know it, but i cherish you deeply and more than anyone else ever will. I know no matter what happens, youll be by my side forever. Even just looking at you makes me happy, the way your glasses frame your face and the way your hair looks so pretty and nice to play with and the way you smile, and the way you look like a person who would hug me and never let go, it all makes me feel like one day ill get the love ive craved for so long from you. Maybe somewhere out there theres a place where we can really be together, but for now ill stay like this, even if it pains me that you cant actually speak to me. Ive taken up so many more things (writing for instance) because of you, and people actually like my devotion towards you, but you make me the happiest. Youve been the reason that i wake up for seven months now, and i wont ever forget the impact youve had on me. Im not letting go of you anytime soon, no matter how unhealthy you actually are, no matter how much our relationship would hurt if it was real, im staying with you because i love you. I love you more than anything else, and nobody will ever love and cherish you like i have. Thank you. -Your only love, Chara <3

(EMPLOYED BTW) (EMPLOYED) (EMPLOYED ALERT) (JOB) (JOBS) (JOB APPLICATION) (IM LITERALLY EMPLOYED) (PLEASE PUT A TW FOR J*BS ITS TRIGGERING FOR ME BTW BTW NO REASON)

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before i forget here is a list of projects/shit i plan to do regarding this
-finish my horrifically long fanfic and put it on ao3 (ill link it here when i do so maybe)
-create a doujinshi out of said fanfic
-make an animatic out of said fanfic to the song miss miseryguts Obviously
-make my own remix + cover of it because i need to sing it or ill fucking die (i have no experience w/ music oh my god its gonna sound like shit but please i need to do this so fuckinf badd) (also i would make the remix sound breakcore-ish do yk what i mean. if nobody else is gonna do it ill just do it myself..!!!)
-write more shit. idc if i already have all of my selfship lore painfully thought out i WILL come up with more shit to write about us
-make a plushie and cardboard cutout of her. yes my room is absolutely covered in pictures of missy im not stopping anytime soon im actually considering buying another tapestry and putting it on my ceiling ^ - ^ also the card board cutout is happening very soon my mom just needs to print the images for me and i can start working on it cause i got a big cardboard box to use for it
-if i think of anything else ill put it here. i love miss miseryguts i love missy i love yumeshipping yes im getting tested for autism later this year why are you asking. theres nothing wrong with me.

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LOOK AT HER. LOOK AT MY REASON FOR LIVING. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
miss miseryguts <3

anyways did u know. im in the official rip discord server and RIP THEMSELVES SAW MY SHRINE AND THEY LIKE IT JSDBDBSH THIS HAPPENED LAST FRIDAY BUT IM STILL SO HAPPY!!! I WAS TERRIFIED I WAS CROSSING THEIR BOUNDARIES FOR MONTHS BUT HDSJHJKSJDHBhefguehtruh also that same day i finished the cardboard cutout i luv herrrrr i will NEVER stop loving her ive had people ask me what if you stop liking her what then. I WONT!!! ILL BE LIKE 80 YEARS OLD IFI LIVE THAT LNG AND THERE WILL STILL BE PICTURES OF HER PLASTERED ALL OVER THE ROOM OF MY RETIREMENT HOME. i am missies number one fan and her girlfriend FOREVER I LOVE HER ok bye im not gay + im employed thanks

im back. i fucking love writing toxic yuri. i found a fanfic where my wife was inlove with someone else and it made my unemployed ass tweak so im going to make my toxic yuri twice as gut wrenching. ill post it to a03 when im done last i checked i was at like 20k ish words and im not done yet hehehhahahahahh. Help meee HELPPP AAHHH IM GETTING WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS I DONT WANNA BE IN CLASS I WANNA WRITE MY TOXIC YURI HISS HISSS I NEED MORE YURI LORE NOWWWWWWWWW

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im gona lose it i need her NOWWWWWW AGHGHAHGFHhtgbnng gm g. HEPLP MEEE. im not gay i swear. anyways im still so happy when i came home from school yesterday i went on twitter and saw that someone had randomly drawn me and my gf and it made me so happy especially cause i was feeling shitty cause of something that happened at school yesterdwy. Yay i love my wife im gonna try to print out the art they made me today for my shrine heheh. Heh. speaking pf that i think my led lamp with her on it and my keychain will be here somewhat soon i hope withing the next 2 weeks sob i love aliexpress but it takes so long to get my stuff
i feel like yappung today um. i wish i could draw her better uhguhg like i draw her on paper at school and she never looks right!! idk if its just cause im shit at drawing traditionally (i need bases and references. i cant draw without them to save my life i swear) but she never looks like Her and its so frustratinggg cause like thats my girlfriend and im her number one fan ever and everyone knows me as The One Girl Fucking Obsessed With Miss Miseryguts but i cant even DRAW HER RIGHTHERJSGDG help me!!!!! it does look better when i draw her digitally but i hvent drawn digitally on my own time much lately because school has left me super tired and i dont have as much time for it either :((((((( i have like 20 different cutesy bases i wanna draw us as but executive dysfunction and school are beating my ass help me omhfmgfnmnmfn. my oomf suggested i draw us eating desserts together too or something and it sounds so cute like i wanna draw that but im just so tired this SUCKS. at least ive been writing a ton bc it takes less effort and i can do it at school as well ((i dont take my tablet that i draw on to school i used to but now i dont cause my dad might get pissed off at me idk)
also can i be an f slur for a second. her smile is so endearing and adorable to me in a way i cant really explain every time i see her smile or grin i just cant help but stare like literally when i woke up this morning before i got dressed for school i straight up stared at the pictures of her face on my wall for a solid ten minutes just spaced out staring at her like. ??? im not a lesbian bro i swear. but still i want to pinch her cheeks and tell her shes only mine forever hahahahhheheh....Help me. i just love her so much shes so cute and shes all mine the people who goon to her arent real (coping) (at least i dont have any outright doubles..........) i lovw herrre i love her face shes so stupid get out of here you freaking femcel that pink femcel will pay i swear to godd. Bites her bites her bites her bites her bites her bites her bites her bites her. i need her so badly i dont even crave an irl relationship as much anymore because her and the fact that the hypothetical relationship i would have with her while unhealthy would satisfy thw weird craving i have for something like that keeps me going (im not mentally ill stop) (hey. im employed bro) (hey wait come back wtf no i literally work for nasa and google and the white house pls i promise you im successful im going to live past the age of 25 stop what no i go outside) anyways im gonna shut up now i swear i could gush about her forever i love my darling wife

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"theres your girlfriend (dudes name)!" right after i walk into class...like ew no? i wouldnt date your nasty ass...i have my stupif fucking. pink thing. GOD I HATE THE PEOPLE AT MY SCHOOL I WANT MY WIFE :( !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna THROW UP just THINKING about going anywhere near the crusty gross homophobic boys at my school!!!!!!!!!!!!! i only want my wife with 6059049044 disorders PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. missy missymissymissymissy missy missy MISSY. anyways i hope they noticed the weird look i gave them. ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways! !!! ive been writing a lot lately im literally so excited to finish my selfship fanfic broo... im just not sure what im gonna write after it i dont have any ideas cause its literally. all of my yumeship lore or wtv. ive asked around for ideas but nobody has any!!!!! i still wanna make it into a doujinshi but i like writing too and i need something to do when my screen time runs out like i only have access to my computer when it runs out which can only run google docs and twitter . pretty much. so like. Tf am i supposed to do i cant just rot on twitter all day...i still wanna write...hopefully it takes a while longer to write even if im super excited to post it when im done..sighhghhh. omfg im so tired in this long ass class i may take a nap...........its so over if the ppl at school find my tiktok account where i just post about missy all the time and show off my shrine...if they find that im actually KILLING MYSELF anyways goodbye

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i am so gay for that fucking bitch i actually need to kill myself get out of my head my heart keeps racing at the thought of her and i keep getting hit with the most violently horrifically obscenely yurifully terrifically homosexual thoughts in the middle of class or literally when i do anything. that pink femcel will pay i will kill her i swear to god i need her wiped off the face of the earth im going insane over a png image of a girl with pink hair get out of my head get out of my head get out of my skin shes in my pores get her out im going to grab her by the twintails and throw her into a pit of fire i hate that fucking weirdo freak with 99 mental illnesses she can make me worse idgaf anymore goodbye world im going to shoot myself and purge the yuri from my brain and accept god and become a blessed christian straight maga woman with 500 children and 5 billion husbands while i go to church goodbye miss miseryguts goodbye yuri goodbye sinful ways its over for me.

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ive turned into a lesbo freak. im violentely mentally ill. I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent I Repent

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my head hurts! actually everything hurts! this is a sign to stay oblivious to what other people say about your gf. my oomf told me theres bots of her on janitor ai and i got too curious and looked at the comments and how many people interacted with them. over 200 people gooning to my gf COME ON. and one of the comments was 'i wanna smooch her oml' and i literally wanted to puke everywhere and DIE. no you dont wanna kiss my girlfriend. and the AI too? theres character ai bots too with lots more interactions. ill ADMIT i used to use those and even made a private one for myself MONTHS AGO but ive since started writing and its SO MUCH BETTER. oh god and theres a talkie bot of her too with the SHIITIEST fucking ai generated image of her as the pfp for it. it makes me sick! your love isnt as genuine as mine at all actually! youre using ai slop instead of actually writing about your love and treasuring her like i am!!! i swear to god. i have no official 'doubles' but can i count the people who say things like that or interact with those bots as one..???? even people shipping her with other characters make me feel awful. i keep getting fucking. jumpscared with this one ship art of her. TWO ACTUALLY. one of them is with a man she wouldnt like a man sorry. am i projecting rn whatever. ive fought so hard to get where i am with her and everythign and it literally does NOT feel like enough . i want everyone to know that thats my girlfriend and i want everyone to know how much i love her so badly. most of all i wish she was real i want the things i write about her doing to me to happen to me with specifically her cause i really wanna just be hurt for some reason and my brain doesnt like the idea of a 'healthy relationship' anymore because i dont think im fit for one. if she was real too there wouldnt be like a billion fucking weirdos simping over her. oh god im so ill im mentally fucked in the head and need to be locked up its giving 'take your meds weirdo bitch' goodbye ugh

anyways i uploaded what i have of my fanfic so far on ao3 and will be updating it like everyday my username there is @miss_miseryguts (fork found in kitchen) go look if you wanna..............sigh i feel so shitty </33333 my head hurts so badddd

also look i know its not possible to truly be the only person who loves a character but ive never been anyones first priority ever in a romantic sense and ive never acheived anything or gotten awards or had anything i do really recognized so let a girl dream okay? ??? im an inherently competitive person and i dont like it either it makes things a lot more painful for me but that doesnt mean i dont genuinely love her... when i like a character or even a real person i get like this i feel like i have to be the only one that loves them and i get upset/jealous over anyone else who does love them its always been like that. ts so kevin.....

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im back. nobody reading ts but whatever i am back i think i will use .co/mmg for yumeship info maybe maybe.... i havent known what to do with it so i can probably put lore or whatever there for people to read yay
god i want out of school this suckkssssssssssss killme i could be at home cuddling my cat right now and yes i have gotten a pet cat since i last ranted here

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(psst..please dont say anything harsh about what i put here. i cannot control these feelings. i know some things i feel may not be healthy, i just dont have a solution right now. i dont want help from anyone for this because this IS helping me..does that make sense? okay bye) (also if you laugh you go to hell /ref)

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Pub: 16 Feb 2025 04:40 UTC

Edit: 27 Aug 2025 12:34 UTC

Views: 345