‎ 
‎ Another failed experiment—I'm shaken to be honest. The machine almost blew up in Black Hat's face... I'm lucky to still even be in one piece. His reprimands hurt but it was better than him dismissing me from the organization... I wish I could be better; I know I can be better. I have to prove myself to Black Hat that I deserve this position. If I keep letting him down... I'm sure much worse will happen to me.
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‎ 
‎ I haven't slept for days; I can't remember when I stopped to rest. I need to get these projects done. Black Hat expects me to give him quality results. I'm trying my hardest... I really am. I can tell he's getting fed up with me asking for more time. It's too much—this... all these demands. I can't do anything but listen to him. It's not my place to speak out against him... I hope one day I'll be recognized. Maybe all this pressure will pay off. Doctor Flugslys, the powerful villain inventor—what a dream that would be.
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‎ 
‎ It hurts so much... I fucked up again. One of the machines malfunctioned again and broke down in front of the client when Black Hat was giving it to the client. My body aches so bad—I've never seen him so angry before; neither has he hit me as hard as he did. I have to fix it now, my whole body is shaking from the stinging pain but I know I need to repair it as soon as possible. I can't make him look like a fool in front of another client ever again...
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‎ 
‎ I feel strange; perhaps the lack of sleep. I'm not sure... I feel more anxious than usual. I've been working hard on my latest inventions. I hope it pays off. I'd do anything for Black Hat to finally approve of my work. I could step up from being his subordinate and perhaps become his equal. I dream of the day I'll be praised as the smartest villain and genuis inventor. I'm almost done with the current project, I will triple check it works right... I have to show Black Hat that I'm not just some wimp.
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‎ 
‎ I can't stop shaking, I wasn't hit or reprimanded. Black Hat said it was decent... decent! He looked at the metal with scrunity and then at me with a gaze that made me shrink. But it didn't come... no harsh words, no scolding, no nitpicking at the machine, just—decent. He said it was medicore but it was good enough for the client. I can't stop the happiness that has taken over me. For once, I'm not a failure. Maybe this is the start of my greatness, my work will finally get out there and I'll be known.
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‎ 
‎ I feel sick... this day couldn't have started off any worse. Demencia has already started with her antics so early in the day. She already put my mood off then as if the world just wanted me to suffer more I accidentally walked in on Black Hat eating. I know I'm a villain... I torture people for the sake of my experiments sure, but—cannibalism is a different level. Black Hat isn't exactly human but it's still disturbing nonetheless. I can handle cutting someone up for a project, it's my job to do so... but walking into his office and seeing the obvious organs and flesh on a plate as he's eating it..? I threw up in my mouth and ran away as fast as I could.
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‎ 
‎ I've been working my hardest to make every invention Black Hat asks of me perfect. So far... It's been well, surprisingly. He's still as terrifying as ever and belittles me every chance he gets but—my work hasn't been a total failure like it has before. That means something, though he's never praised me for it. That's fine... I didn't expect he would... but he hasn't been as cruel to my inventions than previously. Maybe I am finally turning around and soon Black Hat will see how much I dedicate myself to being a powerful villain.
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‎ 
‎ I feel... I don't know. I've tried to figure it out and the only answer it has lead me to is one I don't want to accept. If Demencia even knew about this she'd rip me apart to shreds. This... infatuation with Black Hat—it makes me feel anxious. I keep focusing on my inventions, seeing if finally it's good enough for him. He still uses me as punching bag—verbally and physically... but the slight chance of hope is through my work. And that scares me. I was always annoyed at Demencia's obsession with our boss but I think I'm in the same boat now too... it terrifies me so badly. Every chance I take, hoping that he'll appreciate my hard work. I hope one day I get to hear him praise me and be proud of how useful I am. God I hope this truly isn't love—I don't want to be like Demencia.
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MAIN        DIRECT

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Pub: 16 Dec 2022 12:15 UTC

Edit: 13 Apr 2026 09:03 UTC

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