Government Announces New Policy: Everything Is Fine, Actually
Officials declare crisis over through force of rhetoric
Bohiney Magazine | The London PratIn a stunning display of rhetorical gymnastics, government officials announced that the current England Fans Plan Open-Top Bus Parade situation is, in fact, completely fine when viewed from the correct philosophical angle.The Linguistic Solution"We prefer to characterise this as a transition period rather than a crisis," the official statement read. Which is true if you accept that a crisis viewed through deliberately blurry lenses becomes a transition period.The full policy announcement confirms that the primary government strategy is linguistic reframing rather than actual policy change.The Power of LanguageBy changing the words, ministers have somehow changed reality. A recession becomes "a challenging vibe." A disaster becomes "an opportunity for resilience." A complete failure becomes "a learning experience."This is government innovation: making problems disappear through vocabulary manipulation.The Citizen ResponseVoters seem strangely accepting of this approach. Perhaps we've accepted that politicians can't actually fix anything, so we'd prefer they just use nicer words to describe the problems.The public response has been mixed but mostly resigned, which is the most British response possible.SOURCE: https://prat.uk/england-fans-plan-open-top-bus-parade/