Raw meat is perfectly fine for consumption, you know? Our ancestors ate it long before they discovered fire. They just started cooking it for convenience. Now that I think about it, convenience is at the center of it all, isn't it? That's why everyone went so insane so quickly. They were used to having it easy, living to see the next day being taken for granted, assumed, like it was owed to them and not something that you had to work for. Now that they have to struggle for every bit of comfort and wonder whether every meal will be the last one, is it any wonder they turned rabid?

Then again, after what I just ate, what right do I even have to judge people anymore? I'm pretty sure the knife under my collarbone isn't going anywhere any time soon. I don't know how I'm not bleeding to death right now. Maybe it got in at a perfect angle and didn't hit anything important, in which case trying to move it could be bad. On the other hand it staying there could lead to infection, not that I would know how to take care of the wound after the knife is gone. Oh well, moving it would hurt, so I'll just leave it there for now. The idea of it doesn't bother me as much as it probably should. Not as much as it probably would at the begging. I'm not exactly sure how the whole thing started; one day everything was relatively normal, and the next people are dying left and right, seemingly without cause, just to come back to life so they can start attacking and eating the living. Bona fide zombie apocalypse just like in the movies, except in movies there's always a group of people the main character would join and then they would work together to survive, and have interesting things happen to them. In real life, everyone either runs away or shoots at you on sight. Happened to me more than I can count by this point; it's a small miracle I wasn't killed yet by these psychos. I've seen a teacher from my school the other day, nice lady, would always let me bring my homework the next day if I forgot about it. She ran away as soon as she saw me. Even my own family turned against me, at some point deciding there wasn't enough stuff to go around; they actually tried to kill me. Before I realized what exactly was happening, we were fighting. Eventually I managed to overpower and knock them out; don't ask me how a teenage girl managed to overpower two adults and one younger sister; I don't know, must have been adrenaline. I was so shocked I left as soon as I could without even taking anything with me. That would have proven to be a mistake.

Finding food has to be one of the hardest things to do when society isn't working. Actually, that's a lie; finding food is easy; finding food that's still edible is the problem. All the time I would run into something that looked like it was good to eat just for it to turn out to be spoiled each time, giving me no choice but to ignore it and look somewhere else. The rats were having a blast, though; they didn't mind the rotten stuff at all. The walking corpses would ignore them for some reason, only being interested in people. I got so hungry at some point I considered trying to catch one to roast it or something but decided against it. Even with my stomach trying to digest itself, I was too disgusted with the idea. I couldn't sleep; the hunger wouldn't let me. I got so desperate to find something to eat that I was wandering the streets day and night looking for something. Pretty risky course of action considering how often I found myself nearly surrounded by groups of the living dead, somehow managing to hide from them or otherwise avoid their attention. Nowhere near as risky as what I pulled just now, however. Zombies? They're dumb; not getting caught by them has become almost mundane compared to avoiding other people; they won't alert others in their vicinity; they won't pull out a gun or a knife on you the moment you show yourself. But I was so hungry by this point I couldn't care less; I decided I was going to walk up to the first person I could find.

I heard them first—a man and a woman arguing about something I didn't have energy to care about. Walking in their direction, I saw them before they saw me. The man said something—a goodbye, I think, and left with his back to me, not noticing my approach at any time. I began to follow him but then stopped. Hearing a cry, I turned around to see the woman. She was holding a bundle of cloth from which the cry was coming from in one hand and a knife in the other. She saw me; her eyes went wide as she said, "Stay back!" I recognized the look in her eyes—the same look my parents had when they decided keeping me around wasn't worth it. I had to make a choice here; I could turn around like she wanted me to, go back to searching, probably starving within a few days anyway, or try to somehow stop this crazed and armed woman from killing a child she already had in her own hands. I didn't want to do this, but ignoring that child right now would mean leaving it to die. I lunged at her as she stabbed the knife at my chest. No matter what, either me or that woman was going to be dead soon.

The woman was dead. The child was also dead. Not as a result of the fight, mind you; what was left of that child was dead long before I got here. Whether something else got to it before and she simply went insane as a result or she herself couldn't bear her hunger, I didn't want to know. I have done something with the woman's body that I don't know whether I will be able to live with. Ironically enough, what I had done will allow me to live for longer. As it turns out, raw meat is perfectly fine to eat, albeit not easy on the teeth. I don't remember the last time when I felt at peace like I do now. I don't remember the last time when I slept. What I've done is reprehensible on all fronts; I'm not sure how much I can claim to be better from all the people I considered insane. Then again, why should I try to be better than they? What had anyone done to deserve any effort on my part? Everyone is insane; the whole world is insane. Strangers try to shoot me; people I knew run away from me; my own family tries to kill me. Why shouldn't I only do things for my sake? And what about that woman? How did she survive this long alone with a child? She must have killed some people too; she probably ate them as well. I bet she tricked them into thinking she was a lonely, innocent mother so people would lower their guard, only for her to stab them.

Suddenly, I heard a sound, taking my attention away from my ruminations and my meal. I could hear the steps of a single person. Someone was coming from the direction the man from before left, maybe even the man himself. If he saw me right now, he could jump to conclusions. I was getting up to leave when I changed my mind. It's better to explain things to him now than let him create his own version of events. I decided to go where the sound was coming from.

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Pub: 02 Feb 2025 22:09 UTC

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