1
Work as security at a mall
No air conditioning, stores are closing, janitors do nothing but smoke and jerk off all day
Not much I can do
Got bills to pay
Send out job applications like candy. No responses
Fuck my life
Clock strikes 6. Thank fucking god
Time for my break
30 minutes on the dot. Supervisor bitches if I’m a second late
Head into break room to grab lunch
Peanut butter sandwich, bag of chips, and a pack of cigarettes
Minimum wage diet
Used to get Chinese. One of the few restaurants that stayed open
Health inspectors shut the place down
Food never made me sick
Probably just found the puppy farm he was buying the meat from
Walk outside to get out of the heat
Keep waistbelt on
We’re not supposed to, but fuck if I’m wasting two precious minutes for “muh protocol”
Sun’s in my eyes the whole time
Muggy summer heat is only slightly better than the inside
Not allowed to keep my phone during work cause “It’s a distraction”
At least there’s no people out here
Light up a cigarette and try to relax
Had to kick out a group of teenagers for racing each other in shopping carts
Watched them shoplift a bunch of candy bars and sodas on the way out
Not allowed to stop them because of bullshit policies
Can’t report them to police because “They’re just kids” and “It’s only a couple dollars”
They do this every week
God I wish something would happen for once
Hear someone screaming in an alley nearby
Guess God was listening after all
Fuck it. Nothing else to do
Probably a methhead or drunk drunk bitch
Snuff my cigarette and walk toward the alley
Complete silence after that scream
Starting to feel tense
As I’m about to turn the corner, gut instincts tell me to keep my stun gun ready
Keep my hand near it as I look around
Afternoon shadows coat the alley in darkness
Just past the shadow, I swear I see it
Blood
Pull out stun gun and flashlight
Lights on, it’s real
Trails deeper into the alley too
Switch radio on
”Call the police. We have an emergency”
No response. Just static
Only two people working besides me. Supervisor, and some other newly hired junkie
Junkie keeps getting in trouble for switching radio off
Always caught sleeping in the old make-up store
Supervisor always responds though
What the fuck is going on?
Against better judgement, keep moving down the alley
Blood sticks to my shoes as I step through it
Place smells awful. Stench gets worse the deeper I get
No fucking lights in the alley but my own
Feels like a setup to a horror movie
Hear static. Point my light to it
A radio
My supervisor’s
As I move my flashlight up, I see him
Sat against the wall. Mangled. Unmoving
Can only recognize him from his uniform and the badge that reflects my flashlight
Heart’s pounding. Hand’s shaking
Hated the old bastard, but he didn’t deserve this
Whoever did it was still here, too
Here it to my left. Something running at me
I point my light at it and catch a glimpse
A short green figure charging at me
Jump to the side and the ground
Flashlight rolls across the pavement, casting the shadow of the monster
Huge wings. Blades for arms
Point my stungun at the bastard and fire
Creature starts seizing up
Keep the charge going
Not letting it move another step
Thing starts to hit the ground
As it does, one of its blades catches the wire and cuts it
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
It’s getting back up
Reach in the darkness for something. Anything
Grab something wooden. A plank or something
No time for questions
Pick up the plank and run to the monster
Start bashing it with the wooden plank
Don’t stop. Just keep swinging
After a dozen hits, the thing quits moving
Throw in a couple more for good measure
Drop the plank and fall back for a minute
Trying to catch my breath
Never killed anything before next to household pests
Never seen a murder
What the fuck was that thing?
Crawl back to my flashlight and pick it up
Shine it on the broken remains of the creature I killed
It looks familiar. I’d seen it somewhere
A scyther?
I was familiar with pokemon. Played it growing up
Why the fuck was there one here?
Remembered them being fast, but this one wasn’t
It didn’t even fly at me
Everything about the situation was fucked up
All the adrenaline, the confusion, fried my brain like an omelette
Blacked out then and there
Woke up a while later
Still in the alley. Nightfall
Laying on my back
Roll over, get up, and start walking out of alley
Walking towards the lights in the parking lot
They’re so far away
Walking so slowly
Gotta get away from all this
Just wanna get home have a smoke
Way too much thinking for a guy like me
Step out of the alley and into the light
Something’s wrong. Everything’s massive
Just the fatigue. Gotta get home
I can see it
My truck’s just in front of me
Walk up to it
It’s fucking huge now
Like, five times my height at least
Bash my head into the door, trying to straighten myself out
Wake myself up
Then I see it
Off the reflective metal surface of my truck
The outline of a yellow creature
Large ears with black tips
A black tail hanging behind it
I look down at my hands. My body
Of all the things that could’ve happened
Of all the things I could’ve turned into
A fucking pichu was nowhere on my list
2
For a while I just stand there
Lost in thought again
My life is thoroughly fucked more than it's ever been before
Get knocked out of my trance by the wind hitting me >
Hot as fuck during the day, freezing cold at night
Fucking hate this place.
Gotta get in my truck
Had enough of the outside world for one day
Look back up at the mechanical beast in front of me
I left the window cracked to try and vent some of the heat during the day
Bad idea, I know. Carjackers and shit
I hate driving in a hot car and the air conditioning’s broken
Either way, that window’s my way in
Keys were in the truck. No doors for me
Even if I had them, I couldn't reach the handle
Window’s higher though, so I gotta strategize
The bed’s a lot closer to the ground
Better to start with that
Pull myself up the foothold, then jump up to the wall of the bed.
From here it's a balancing act
Leaning to the right so if I fall, it's inside the bed and not the pavement
Could probably break a bone from this height
Make my way across and reach the back of the truck. Grip the wall and look around the corner
The gap’s small, but theoretically possible
Just have to get the nerve to jump there
Deep breaths
Got this
Just don't kill yourself
I grab hold of the corner tight and swing myself around
Barely caught the window with one stubby hand
Can't. Let. Go
Reach up with my other hand and try to start pulling myself up
Window’s just barely big enough
Really gotta squeeze my head through to get in
Once my head pops through, the rest of my body launches in behind
Tumble on the chair and lay down for a minute
I’ll probably be dealing with this a lot now
Eventually pick myself up and look around
Still adjusting to just how big the world is now
The steering wheel’s bigger than me, damn it
First thing to do is get my keys
They're in a storage compartment by the rearview mirror
Great. More climbing
Crawl up to the top of the dashboard
Try to reach out and pop the compartment open without falling
Fail miserably
The second it opens, everything spills out
Keys, sunglasses, bits of trash I stuffed away inside
I fall right behind them
Smack my head into the lever for the turn signal
Tumble further to the floor of the car
Definitely a staple of my life now
At least I landed beside the keys
Pick them up and look up
Hopefully popping them in again would be easier
Start climbing up to the gearshift, then up the console back to the dashboard
Step down behind the steering wheel
Perfect position to slot in the keys
At last, the truck has started
Wipe my brow
Earned some rest after a hard day's work
Jump over to the gear shift so I can toy with the center console
Crank the heat up and turn the radio on
Hard Rock blasts my ears
Scramble to turn it down
Walk back to the driver's seat and sit down
Finally got some time to relax, process my day
So, I’m suddenly a pokemon. Now what?
No clue how to turn back. Where to even start
Was it a hallucination? Didn't feel like one
What the hell caused this? Why pichu of all things?
Just cause I used a taser? Wooden plank didn't count?
Start getting flashbacks to the alley
Worst thing I’d ever seen in my life
Hopefully nothing ever competes
Was the Scyther another human?
Did it drive him crazy?
Would it drive me crazy?
Well, don't feel crazy yet
Probably best not to think about that actually
Still, what was the plan?
Can't reach the gas pedals, so no driving home
Phone’s in a locker inside
Probably be a bitch to open that thing
Managed the truck, so probably not impossible
Even then, what? Call an Uber?
Call up my friends I don't have?
Call up my bitch mother?
Can I even speak English anymore?
God I wish I had a cigarette right now
Not getting any better thinking about anything
Opt to shut off the truck and sleep a bit
Let future me handle it
Wake up a few hours later
Daylight
Sirens wailing
Woop Woop, sound of da police
What do I do?
Don't wanna show myself to the public
Rather not become a lab study
Same time, what else do I do?
I do really need help
Fuck it, staying in the truck
Try to peek through the window and see what's going on
There's a body bag lying in front of the alley
Two cops watching the area
Probably more investigating the alley
What did they do with the scyther?
One of the cops answers something on his radio
Starts walking towards my truck
They're not allowed to search without warrants, right?
Not risking it
Jump down to the floor and crawl under the seat
Hope that black tail hides the bright yellow fur covering most of me
Hear cop walking outside
Ears are goddamn sensitive. Noted
Guy’s circling the truck
Probably getting plates
Hear him turn on his radio
”Found the suspect's car. Don't see anything from the windows. Standing by.”
Suspect?
They didn't think that scyther was me, did they?
There wasn't any CCTV on the backside of the mall, but there was inside
They had to have seen me inside at least
There was no way the scyther could be me
That or… they never found it
Quickly becoming the new quote to define my life. “I’m so fucked”
Cop keeps talking over the radio
Guy finally leaves
Wait a few minutes to be sure, then crawl out of my hiding spot
Watch the crime scene for a little longer
They never drag out the scyther
I should've kept swinging, or maybe taze it directly
Eventually the scene’s cleaned up
Caution tape and traffic cones line the alley
Cops leave for their donut break
I was hungry too, to be honest
I didn't lock the door yesterday
Junkie never cleaned up after himself, let alone the mall
Building was probably closed off, too
Could get back inside all by myself
Well either that or starving outside
Don't have to climb through my window this time
Push the door open and jump out the truck
Look around one more time
Lot’s empty
Less attention the better
Run over to the back door
Too short for the door knob
Fuck that. Jump as high as I can to reach it
Surprisingly, I do
Can jump pretty high. Noted
Door cracks open, so I pull the rest open
Enter the break room, then to rest of the mall
All empty. Lights still on
Not my job to report shit like this anymore
Start walking to the food court
The magnitude and emptiness of the place really sets in
Lines of closed stores, broken floor tiles, filled trash cans
The air’s totally stale
No movement in the place
Feel like I should be seeing somebody
Shoppers, co-workers, rats or stray cats
Nothing. Feels like I’m in one of those liminal space videos
Get to the food court
Not a lot of options
Shut down Chinese place, off-brand subway, and a recently opened burger joint
Last burger I got from that place was served on sandwich bread
Swore I’d never eat there again, and I’m sticking to it
Not-subway it is
Hop over the counter and into the kitchen
Surprisingly clean. Probably the nicest place in the mall
Start gathering ingredients. Ham, lettuce, bread rolls, dressing, the works
It's all fresh. Probably why it was so overpriced
Get it all assembled and start looking for a knife
This’d be my meal for the foreseeable future
Once it's all sliced up, put the rest of the sandwich in the fridge
Grab a coke bottle too, around half my size
Can't be good for me, but fuck it I deserve this
Breakfast is set, and I chow down
Fuckin' delicious
Haven't eaten since yesterday morning
Probably influenced the taste a little
While I ate my oversized sandwich, I got to thinking
I could turn back to normal at any moment
If I was still a murder suspect, I’d definitely get locked up
Don't think “I turned into a pokemon, I’m very sorry” will hold up in court
Honestly couldn't blame them for thinking it was me
If someone were to kill my supervisor, it’d probably have been me
There was a whole different problem to keep track of
That scyther could still be on the loose
If he really did survive, he’d be pissed for sure
Didn't kill me for some reason
My flashlight wasn't pointed at me when I woke up last night
If he was in as much a daze as I was, he probably didn't bother looking
I was unbelievably lucky
Couldn't count on it twice
Still, something had to be done
Someone had to stop that scyther
If cops were looking for me, they’d never find him
I didn't have any leads either, but I also had nothing better to do
Had to prove my innocence and bring that scyther in
They could call me Detective Pichu when it was all over
No, that's a terrible name
Pichuman? Scyther slayer? Electric… guy?
I’ll workshop it
For now it's just Pichu the security guard
3
Mid afternoon of my first day as a pichu
Sitting in the back of the old electronics store watching local news
Found the entrance through some vents (pretty reliable shortcuts for the place
Apparently they never cleaned this spot out
Lights don't work, but there's a Roku TV, some nice furniture, and a box fan
Rest of the store’s empty and there's no other entrances
Got some chips from the sub shop and the bottle of coke
Honestly could feed me the entire day
News spends way too long rambling about politics and celebrity gossip these days
Eventually see what I was looking for
”Brutal slashing outside local mall. Suspect on the run”
Apparently the guy’s wife called 911, said he never came home
Feel kinda bad for her
Sad way to lose your husband
Cuts to some on-site footage
A woman is standing in front of the alley where it all began
Holy shit, they're live outside right now
Don't see my truck in the background
Must've impounded it. Fuck
Nothing too valuable I guess, but it was nice to have
Reporter's interviewing detectives
They just arrived at the scene
Said officers were searching the premises
Fuck, they’re inside right now
Shut the volume off and head out to the front counter
Can see through the gates some people walking around
Best keep quiet
Head back to the TV
Turn the volume up just a little
I can hear pretty well so not a problem
News waffles on about how tragic it all is
”He was an upstanding citizen”
Apparently they even got statements from my coworkers saying how nice it was
Bitch, I know you all hated him as much as I did
Eventually they say something worthwhile
Mall will be shutting down for the foreseeable future
Doesn't say when they'll reopen
Probably never given all the stores are closing and the billion safety codes being violated
Either way, this mall was a little safer than I thought
Besides occasional patrols for the next week, probably wouldn't have to see anyone
Cops can't let people contaminate the crime scene for now
Maybe some hobos and urban explorers in a few months when the place was more rundown
News switches over to some shit about school starting back up
”Keep your kids safe from cyber bullying,” all that shit
Shut the volume off again
Trying to think of a plan
If I was a homicidal scyther, where would I go next?
Would he be looking for me?
He definitely had it out for me
Would he be tracking me down?
Probably overestimating him
I mean fuck, he had the jump on me in a pitch black alley and got beaten by a taser
I AM THE TASER NOW
Yeah, try and fight me now bitch
Of course, I still have to learn how to be a taser for that
Still, he didn’t have any other plans that I could think of
Besides murdering more random people
I couldn’t predict where he’d do that next, though
At least there was SOME possibility of him figuring out where I was
He probably didn’t know I was a pichu now, though
I doubt he’d have been watching the news either
As far as he knew, I ran away after knocking him out
I could’ve driven home
Wait, did he even know what a car was?
I’m assuming a lot of things about this guy
Don't even know if it is guy
Could just be a wild animal teleported into our reality
I don't know, I didn't go to college
Maybe it was best not to get involved in that investigation yet
Still not really a fighter
Now thinking about my current living conditions more carefully
If he’s gonna come for me, he’ll do it when the cops are gone
Cops could finish their investigation here whenever they felt like it
They could finish it tonight if they found nothing
Scyther could be here as soon as tonight…
Okay, maybe the mall wasn’t as safe as I thought
Probably best to head home now that I think about it
He doesn't know anything about me
He can't find me there
How do I get back though?
I don’t have my truck anymore
Can’t drive anyways
I’d need a ride, and I’d have to find it fast
Then I thought of something
Those reporters were probably packing up
I’d driven past their station to work
It was right by the curry place
Remember all the jokes I made about the shit they spewed together
Important thing about those places
They aren't far from my apartment
Might not be a bad idea to hitch a ride
Fuck it. Got no other plans
Head to the vents and crawl around
Reason I chose the electronics store, it was right by the security office
Only problem, it’s dark
Have to feel my way through
Also smells like shit
If I could make some electricity I could probably make some light
Definitely had to figure that out someday
Eventually find the way to the security office
The vent’s a… little high up to say the least
Definitely didn’t think this through
Well, no other way to get down
Jump down and land on the table beneath me
Crash into a coffee machine and take it to the ground with me
Loud as fuck
”Someone in there?”
Great. Now they know I'm here
Still not eager to reveal myself to humanity
Head for the door as fast as possible
Once I slip outside, the door shuts behind me
They can guess it was a cat
Outside I see the detectives are gone
See the news crew as well
Two people talking, one of them smoking a cigarette
Third guy is packing up their equipment
When he has the camera stowed away, I dash towards the back of the van
Manage to jump in without him noticing
Only realize after I’m in that when I ran, I was doing it on all fours
Goddamn instincts are kicking in
Kind of pisses me off that I'm getting used to this
Still, can’t forget how fast I was
Not all bad, just really weird
Never actually been inside a news van
Expected more storage, but it's full of computers, screens, and a desk with a seat against the wall behind it
There's a sliding drawer in the desk that looks like it could fit me
That guy will be back quick
No time to think
Open it, climb in, and pull it shut from the inside
Bunch of papers and devices inside
Really uncomfortable, but hey. I’m a stowaway. No room for complaints
News crew finishes packing up and start rolling
Hear one guy in the back with me
Nobody's seen me yet
I’m like a ghost at this point
Don't make a sound
No sudden movements
Pichu, the stealth master
Van comes to a stop
Thank God, the junk rolling around with me was awful
Driver needs to be fired for sure
Once I hear the guy in the back, I start opening the drawer
And I can't get it open
God fucking damn it
Of course the thing doesn't open from the inside
It's a fucking sliding drawer, how would it?
No wall to push off of
Try grabbing the ceiling to move it but no luck
I’m fucking trapped
I am so fucking stupid
Start to panic
Start rummaging through the drawer for anything that can help
Nothing good
Can barely see, there's hardly any light
Panic even more
Start violently shoving the walls of my cell, trying to make it move
Bashing it repeatedly, praying something will happen
Then I hear something
Footsteps
Thank God, someone’s coming!
Wait
Fuck! Someone's coming
What the fuck do I do?
Think think think think think!
Before I can come up with any kind of plan, I hear him fiddling with a latch on the drawer
There was a fucking latch?
I must've closed it somehow by accident
No way out anymore
The drawer slides open
I’m blinded by the light for just a moment before I see it
It's a woman
The reporter I saw on TV
Not pretty in the slightest
Bug square glasses, pudgy face, messy hair
And she just stared at me
Stare back
Both of us are frozen
I did not want to be found like this
She clearly has no clue what to do
Does she even know what I am?
She raises her hand
What the fuck is she doing?
That hand starts reaching down to me
Is she gonna grab me?
Hand keeps moving
No fuck off please go away fuck off
And then it makes contact with the top of my head
Can't control myself. Pure panic mode
Let loose a shower of lightning
She jumps back, electricity coursing through her
See her hair stick up, even more of a mess than it already was
All the electronics in the van are fried instantly
Woman falls over
Did I actually kill someone this time?!
Jump out of the drawer to check on her
Heart’s still beating. Good enough
Realize this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a woman
First reaction to a woman's touch was to explode all over her
The jokes write themselves
But sure, add an assault charge to the murder charge they're definitely gonna pin on me
How much worse can it get?
”Hey, you alright in there”
That’s how much worse it can get
Leap out the open door
Standing in front of two people, both stunned to see me
Nope the fuck out
Sprint across the street through traffic
Weaving through cars like it’s Frogger
Pure adrenaline and instinct carrying me
It's an uncanny feeling I’ve only felt a few times in my life
This experience where everything feels like life or death, and conscious decision making disappears
In this case, it tapped into things my body was wired to do that my conscious mind was not
Slip into the alleys quickly
Out of that instinct mode
Still on the ground, but not running anymore
Just collapse there for a moment
Now the world knew I existed
I’d be everywhere on the news for sure
They’d hunt me down for sure
I have to get home fast
Cut through the alleys in the general direction of my apartment
Reminded how much I hate the city on the way
Trash everywhere
Graffiti of gang signs, phone numbers, and unfunny sex jokes
Every building’s either an unfinished construction project or rotting in disrepair
Lot of tweakers and bums too
Fucking zombies most of them
Absolutely disgusting.jpeg
The few that were lucid didn't seem to understand what they were looking at
All the freaks are good for is keeping my rent low
Get some fucking jobs
Make it to the apartment building
Don't think walking through the lobby’s a great idea today
There's a fire escape on the side of the building
Thinking back to my jumping prowess I discovered earlier today
Possible I can reach it if I can get a boost from something
Convenient dumpster nearby
Everything lines up like a video game now
It's a little far away
There are wheels on it, but no way I’m moving that myself
Just gotta work with it
Hop up on the dumpster
Couple feet of distance between me and the latter
Couldn't hurt more than landing on that coffee table, right?
Make a leap of faith
Hands just about to catch the first rung
Too low. End up slamming my head into them
Yep, it hurt more than the coffee table
Lay on the ground for a bit
Seeing stars for a bit
Guess I found my limits
”Y’uhlright there?”
Great, more people
Get up, look where the voice came from
Guy looks familiar
Old guy. Tanktop, long beard, and reeks of booze
Knew his name at some point. Like, Gary or Larry or something
I dropped him some spare change from time to time
Friendly enough, but always tried to keep my distance
Now he’s sitting right next to me in a dirty alley
Don’t know what to say
Don’t know if I should say anything
Will he even understand me?
Didn’t matter. He kept talking
”Y’uh… tryna get up there?”
No shit. What gave you that idea?
Just nod back
For some reason he’s not questioning the random appearance of a cartoon character
Must be drunk, or maybe something else
Drunkard stands up
Stumbles over to the dumpster
Holy shit he’s actually helping me
Dude pushes the dumpster closer to the fire escape
Looks back at me
”Dunno whatcha want there, buh go ‘head lil man”
Thanks… Barry? Harry?
Thanks drunk guy
Make note to leave him some cash if I get the chance
Climb up the dumpster and jump to the ladder
Much easier this time
Can take the stairs straight to my apartment now
Reach it in no time
Got an air conditioner in my window
Window doesn’t lock proper while it’s in there
Always feared a home invader breaking in through this
Guess I’m the home invader now
Pull up the window
Air condition falls out, lands on the fire escape
Loud slam
Hope nobody noticed that
Climb inside and shut the window behind me
Finally home from my extended shift
I deserve a bonus for all that shit
Jump off the window sill and on the ground
Probably the cleanest place in the whole city
Got some dirty clothes scattered around, trash on my tables, but overall not that bad
Smell’s better inside for sure
God I’m glad to be back
First thing I do is climb on my bed and shut off
What a day
Probably safe from scyther for the time being
Got a load of new problems
Rent will be due eventually
Live paycheck to paycheck, no savings
Totally fucked when the bill comes
Need to learn how to use my electric powers too
I wanna be ready to fight that scyther
He could be anywhere, doing anything to anyone
Made me a murder suspect too, so I have to even the score
Could even be linked to me being a pichu
Have a slim hope that beating him will turn me back to normal
There was also the public to deal with now
I shocked a girl and was spotted by two others
They were fucking journalists too
I don’t want to turn the news on this time
Not tonight
I know I’m on there already
Feature presentation probably
Okay, I probably wasn’t on camera when that happened
They’d find a way to tell the story though
It was all so fucked
Got a murderous rival, unstable home, and nobody to help me
Gotta deal with this all alone
Fuck my life man
4
Day two of my life as a retard Pichu
Wake up around 9
Too early
Can't get back to sleep
Fuck it, gotta try to be somewhat normal
Get out of bed and start looking for TV remote
Turn it on, change to local news
Lower volume so neighbors don't hear
Normally don't give a shit, but trying to keep my head low
They're rambling about the stock market this time
DICK stock is going on the market for a hundred dollars a share
No clue what any of it means
Digging in my nightstand for nicotine gum
Brother brought it over few weeks ago
Trying to get me to quit smoking
Hate it, but I’m getting antsy and need to calm down a bit
Way too much going on in the world
Literally the second I find the pack, hear breaking news
”Man killed outside curry restaurant”
What the fuck?
I was right beside it yesterday
Next to the news station
Look at TV
Reporter from yesterday is on the scene
Her hair’s still fritzy after the shock yesterday
Laugh a little, even if it's messed up
She's saying the Indians found him against the wall
Couldn't recognize him, he was too mangled. Face carved up too
They were only able to identify him with the ID in his wallet
Son of a bitch
My name and face are on the screen
Scyther killed him for sure
Must've been part gypsy too
Can't believe he figured out that I caught a ride with the news team
Weren't many other options for me I guess
Don't understand why he’d kill this guy though
Besides him being a homicidal maniac at least
Still, framing me as the victim didn't make sense
Considering this probably happened last night, they couldn't confirm the identity
They’d probably figure out it wasn't actually me
What was Scyther's game?
Only one conclusion I could come to
This was a threat
”I’m not done with you”
This random guy just happened to be the messenger
There’d be other consequences obviously
My name and face are now directly tied to a murder
Two if counting my supervisor
Police will definitely start a manhunt over this
More problems if I turn back to a human
Starting to hope this pichu thing is permanent
Landlord will have my apartment cleaned out soon
Assuming cops don't arrive first
Nowhere is safe for me anymore
Sure, not like I’ll be arrested for the murder ordeal
Doesn't mean I won't get taken away for testing or something
Guess there's old ‘arry outside if I get desperate
I don't wanna make him a target for Scyther
Guess that makes my goal clear
Before anything else, I have to find Scyther
Have to beat him for real this time
And the world needs to know who he is
For justice
And cause he's really pissing me off
Someone knocks in my door
They try fumbling with the doorknob
Either a neighbor, landlord, or cop
Time to go again
Take a few sticks of gum with me for the road
Find some cash, too, and head out the window
Hear the door open as I run down the fire escape
Perfect
Reach the bottom
Dumpster’s still there, and old ‘arry is sleeping beside it
Land on the dumpster. ‘arry jolts up
Hop down and look at him
Seems confused and tired
I feel ya, man
Toss him my cash and run off
Hear him mumble some thanks or whatever
Maybe it was Gary actually
My priorities for the day are as follows
Train my electric powers, find somewhere I can stay for the night, and if I’m up to it, find Scyther
Really don't know how well I’ll do against him this time
He didn't like my stun gun, that's for sure
Don't know how powerful a pichu’s shocks can get
Don't know how powerful I can make them either
Don’t have a choice
Gotta beat him somehow or I’ll never have a normal life as a human or a pichu
There’s a public park not far from where I live
There’s a tennis court there that’s practically abandoned
For some reason they banned skaters there who were literally the only people using it
Piggy police were anal about it, too
Should be a good place to experiment now, though
Back to sprinting through pedestrians and cars
Kind of impressive how fast I can go, and how long
Meant I didn't spend a lot of time in public vision
No way around being seen sometimes
Just have to minimize exposure, never stand still
Don't trust anyone. Can't trust anyone
Reach the park
Big fancy stone wall entrance
Twisted up chain link fence beside it
This city has no shame
Run into the park
Realize I actually haven't been here since high school
All I have is bad memories of getting dragged here with “friends” for stupid shit
Place used to be a real shit hole inside
City kinda cleaned it up
Grass is mowed, not much trash in the road
Actually kind of like how it is now
Least from the front
Probably worse deeper in
Hear some kids to my right screaming
Look over
Just a playground
They're playing tag
God damn it there's no reason for them to scream like that
Startled the hell out of me
Fucking hate kids
Leave before any of them notice their favorite cartoon character is in the park with them
Head off trail to avoid any further interactions
All the running’s got me tired, so decide to take things a bit slower
Actually able to enjoy something about the city for once
If I can find someplace safe here, could make it my base of operations
Maybe up in the trees somewhere
Actually good ideas for once
At least they sound better than my other plans
Find the tennis court
Nobody around, just as I expected
It's surrounded by a rusty fence
Try to push the gate open
Rusted shut
Great
Fence is pretty tall
Could climb it, theoretically
Don't trust pichu grip strength to carry me far though
Leaves only one option
Gotta bust the gate open
First try ramming into it
Nothing. Just bounce right off it
Okay, next idea
Find the largest rock I can carry
There's one about the size of my head nearby
Pick it up with both hands, hold it over my head like I’m Link
Return to the gate and chuck it with full force
Gate rattles harder
Better than trying to break it down myself
Cue me spending an hour of my precious time picking up that rock and throwing it at the gate
Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?
After my hundredth attempt of beating metal with stone, I give up
It looks battered, sure
Just not efficient
I’m not physically strong enough to take this thing down
I need something else
Get a brilliant idea
Maybe electricity will do something
Just gotta figure out how to do it
That's what I came to do, so no big deal
Time to start experimenting
Was able to pull it off yesterday when I got scared
Had something to do with the sacs on my cheeks
Try to get them to do something now
Scrunching up my face doesn't do it
Try pressing them with my hands
Nothing
God damn it how did I do this by accident?
Wasting so much time trying different facial expressions
As if a friendly smile or a solid mewing session would shoot out lightning
So frustrating
Getting really heated about it
Seriously feel like I could just explode from it
Wait a second
Turn to the gate
Keep focusing on that feeling
It's not actually my annoyance, just a pressure building up
It's ready to let loose
Face starts to feel tingly
Starts releasing sparks in my vision
Actually kind of hurts my eyes, so I shut them tight
When I do, I feel that electric current surge through me
It's hitting the gate
Also hitting me
And holy hell does it hurt
And I don't know how to stop
Can't even think straight
Muscles are tensing up, vision’s blurring
Pins and needles all over
This was a terrible idea
Eventually run out of juice. Lighting stops
Stand for a moment, frozen in place
Then I fall over, seeing stars
Definitely need more practice
After a few seconds of seizing on the ground, get control of my body back
Sit up, a little delirious
Guess I need more practice, or direct contact with whatever my target is
Probably why I didn't hurt myself when I shocked that lady
She must've taken all those amps herself
If it's as powerful on someone else as it is on myself, can probably take them down
Just gotta be really careful I don't hurt myself
Look back up at the gate
Still shut
Gotta be kidding me
After all that, this thing still defies me
Stand up, madder than I’ve ever been
Walk up to it and slam it in frustration
Gate swings open
Hit the ground
Fuck my life