

The Postal Collection
"The Worst Product Ever Foisted Upon the Consumer"

Authors Addition
I do NOT support, endorse, or condone the bigoted beliefs of Vince Desi
or the use of generative AI in "Postal Bullet Paradise". I encourage you to still
enjoy Postal and its games, but not help fund, purchase, or donate to any future
Postal products due to the genuinely disgusting beliefs
of Vince. I hope this man never makes another cent, and any links back to
Postal products or the RWS website will be removed from this site.
You can find them yourself, but I refuse to advertise for free any longer,
having said this, my ratings too will be removed.

"You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh wait, that was me."
Released in 1997
Voiced by - Rick Hunter
"Take control of The POSTAL Dude in his infamous first outing as he battles
to survive in a world gone mad! POSTAL is a classic isometric shooter filled to
the brim with fast-paced explosive action."
My Headcanons!
★ Age: 27 ★ Height: 5'11 - 6ft ★
★ Selective mutism ★ religious trauma ★ septum piercing/snake bites ★
★ insomniac with hallucinations worsened by sleep deprivation ★ fear of water ★
★ would be a great writer if his thoughts and handwriting weren't so messy. ★
★ Aromantic ★ Homoflexible ★ Agender ★
★ Schizophrenic ★ He/Him ★
Blinkies + Graphics + Aesthetic Stuff:










Go Postal


"I suppose it would've been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first."
Released in 2003
Voiced by - Rick Hunter
"Live a week in the life of "The POSTAL Dude";
a hapless everyman just trying to check off some chores.
Buying milk, returning an overdue library book, getting
Gary Coleman's autograph, what could possibly go wrong?"
My Headcanons!
★ Age: 33 ★ Height: 5'3 ★
★ Thought Champ would be his scary guard dog, now he's his spoiled baby boy ★
★ SHAMEFUL Nickleback fan ★ Always damp for no known reason ★
★ Embarrassingly a HUGE lightweight ★ Can and WILL fall asleep anywhere ★
★ God made him infertile after Postal 1 ★ Gave Champ fleas more than once ★
★ Has eaten dog food ★ Bisexual ★ Transgender ★
★ Autistic ★ OCD ★ He/Him ★
Blinkies + Graphics + Aesthetic Stuff:





Go Postal...2!


"Say, looks like it's open mic night. Why not take the stage and enthrall the crowd with your golden voice?"
"It's getting radioactive in here so put on your hazmat suit""
Released in 2015
Voiced by - Rick Hunter And Corey Cruise
"Join the Dude as he ventures back into his former hometown embarking on a quest to find his lost dog.
Not all is at it seems, as the once tranquil (relatively speaking) town
and its citizens have been transformed in the wake of the nuclear destruction."
My Headcanons!
★ Postal Dude's fucked multiple times in game, trust. ★
Blinkies + Graphics + Aesthetic:





Get Lost!

"That's definitely going on my permanent record"
Released in 2011
Voiced by - Corey Cruise with unused voice lines provided by Rick Hunter
"Good or Insane? The choice is yours.
Following the Apocalyptic end to the Postal Dude’s
week in Paradise, we follow him and his insane pitbull
Champ as they emigrate to its appropriately named sister city, Catharsis."
My Headcanons
★ Age: 33 ★ Height: 6'3 ★
★ :3, XD, XP, :0, type of guy ★ ★ Cried to Katy Perry's Hot & Cold ★
★ Would vomit if he misgendered you ★ Would have LOVED Tumblr and Wattpad ★
★ Thinks ":3" is an appropriate response to things ★ Would be bullied on Roblox ★
★ Cries if left on read ★ SO many 2011 era memes. Pls laugh...</3 ★
★ Pothead ★ Pansexual ★ Trans ally ★
★ Autistic ★ Anxiety ★ He/Him ★
Blinkies + Graphics + Aesthetic Stuff:




Go Postal 3!


"Excuse me, do you happen to need any dirty services performed?"
Released in 2022
Voiced by - Jon St. John, Rick Hunter, Corey Cruise, and Zack Ward
"POSTAL 4: No Regerts is a satirical and outrageous comedic open
world first person shooter and the long-awaited true sequel to what’s
been fondly dubbed as "The Worst Game Ever™", POSTAL 2!"
My Headcanons!
★ Age: 52 ★ Height: 5'5 ★
★ Banned from ALL fast food places ★ MLP fan, Rarity is his favorite. ★
★ Eats Champ's treats, Champ has none left :( ★ Horrible sleep schedule ★
★ Has eaten way too many bugs willingly and unwillingly ★
★ DEAFENING joint pops from him ★ Bisexual ★
★ Transgender ★ Autistic ★ OCD ★
★ He/Him ★ PTSD ★
Blinkies + Graphics + Aesthetic Stuff:





Regert Nothing

"I just came, you too?"
"Mmm, I like scissoring."
Released in 2022
Voiced by - Corey Cruise and Rick Hunter
"POSTAL: Brain Damaged is a new, action-oriented take on the Running With Scissors’
cult game series with throwback graphics, and fast-paced, modern gameplay. Take a wild
roller coaster ride through the twisted wonderland encased in the POSTAL DUDE’S messed-up mind."
My Headcanons!
★ Age: 52 ★ Height: 6'3 ★
★ Alexic from the brain damage ★ Has rabies ★
★ Tells the WORST jokes, but you should still laugh please. ★ Will eat ANYTHING ★
★Sudden burst of musical tallent after the brain damage ★
★Has a diary in the teen girl way ★ MLM ★
★ Transgender ★ Autistic ★ PTSD ★
★ Traumatic brain injury★ He/Him ★
Blinkies + Graphics + Aesthetic Stuff:






Damage Your Brain

"I need it badly! So I could at least pee like a man!"
Released in 2005
Voiced by - Peter Ivaschenko
"The game stars a man known as Shtopor
(more commonly known as "Corkscrew", who looks very
much like the Postal Dude) who wakes up in a hospital
to find that someone has stolen his penis. Journey through
Muhosransk City on a journey to find your stolen sex organ
and kill the bastard responsible."
My Headcanons!
★ Age: 33 ★ Height: 5'8 - 5'11 ★
★ Butterfly and moth fan ★ Skilled gambler, rarely uses his talent though ★
★ NONE of the other dudes understand him ★ Swears less, somehow ★
★Higher alcohol tolerance but drinks less than the other dudes ★
★ Loves to read and write poetry ★ Rock fan ★
★ Russian ★ Bisexual ★ Trans masc ★
★ Bipolar ★ Hypersexual ★ Autistic ★ He/Him ★
Blinkies + Graphics + Aesthetic Stuff:




My dick is GONE!?

Champ’s Corner!
May 25th 1999 - May 23rd 2011
"Eh, fuck 'em. C'mon Champ, we got adventures waiting elsewhere"
Born in 1999
Voiced by - Himself!

Special thanks to my best friend.
Thank you for helping me, and putting up with me running everything by you.
Check out my bestfriends Rentry!!
Neptr Joestar 
