/HMOFA/ Collab story (edit code: Ana)
"A man was brutally murdered by his wife in Concord, New Hampshire last night, according to a report filed by the Merrimack County Sheriff's Office..." The radio in the clock says as it flashes 6:30. Yet another tragedy the news exploits for money.
I sigh and slap the snooze button, knowing I'd probably hear about it later in class. As I make my way to class, my thoughts began to drift towards the upcoming dance. In less than 20 minutes, I am already out the door with my paratrooper bike in hand.
What kind of school is this? There's a dance, but Anon's living independently?
Maybe we could explain it later. Like maybe he's been kicked out of his parents house? Or they're landlords and he gets his own dorm.
I would buy a regular bike, but my apartment was located in a particularly bad neighborhood, so locking it to the apartment's bike rails was not an option. Though I'll admit having my bike stolen was the least of my worries in this shitty neighborhood, rather, as I bike down the sidewalk I was more worried about getting maimed or killed. Anthros were no joke, and humans, like myself, have to cover up to avoid confrontations with them.
My hoodie, scarf and gloves usually suffice, but as the summer rolls in it gets harder to cycle to school while being so overdressed. I never really questioned it though. Why I needed to show as little skin as possible is this shithole.
In perfect timing, I cannot avoid noticing a bright pink woman trying in vain to strut while looking like a pre-schooler's painting. Sunburn, that's one reason to cover up out here.
Not much further along, I recognise a really fat woman from school. I think her name's Beatrice, one of the sped teachers. Not a bad person, but hard to look at. There's another reason to cover up.
After I arrive at the school I collapse my bike for carrying, I can't even chain it up here. I start for the door, but stop when I see her and remember the real reason I keep this hoodie and scarf on.
The seven-foot-tall reindeer, Marcella. Ever since I started she's been a thorn in my side. The glaring. The jeering whenever I show my face.
It's not as if I couldn't say anything back, she gives my plenty of material to work with. I just don't want to be the radio's next tragedy payday.
She leans by the school door with her posse, an iguana and a hyena, chewing bubblegum while the other two debate anime of all things.
As that strange group's discussion heats up (I didn't pay attention, that shit was for the birds) I watch for Marcella to look away. Nobody has noticed me yet, so I walk up the stairs with my head down like I'm nobody special.
Nobody looks up as I pass under the archway. I begin to think I'm home free as my hand grabs the door handle, but a massive shadow looms in from behind. An arm like a log covered in fur smacks the metal doorframe, right over my head.
"Hey there. You haven't seen a human boy around here, right?"
Her body language is angry and it puts me on edge, but in the calmest tone possible I manage to say "No, I haven't seen any."
"Oh, okay. Just looking for a friend of mine, he said he'd meet me here and he's late. Thanks, anyway."
For a character who's supposed to be anon's antagoniser, she sure tells him a lot about her day plans.
Her words struck me as off. It's not normal for Marcella to be so polite. I decide to take the liberty of watching her buttocks as she departs from my location. I am so mesmerized by these fuzzy glutes, that I accidentally say "Nice ass!" out loud.
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me?!" The angry reindeer says while turning around.
Caught in a corner because of my own insolence I say the first excuse that comes to mind "I said uh, ice... ice glass! I was just offering you an ice cold glass of water!"
A grin stretches across the reindeer's muzzle. Her companions stop their conversation, exchanging shit eating grins as they back Marcella.
She pops her fingers, making a sound like ice cracking.
"Almost didn't recognize you, Tourettes Tucker."
Her giant hand is around my collar. With a huff I'm picked off the ground.
"A girl like me? Doesn't get compliments." She nods as she starts down the stairs. "Everyone with a dick thinks I'm a transvestite because of these."
Marcella points a finger at her antlers, still walking wherever she plans to take me. The iguana and hyena are close behind.
"So then I see you, giving these compliments out of the blue, and I start to feel good about myself."
As the reindeer monologs she brings me to a dark alley where the garbage is stored.
"And then, then, I learn you not only don't mean it. You give them to everyone. And I feel kind of like shit. "
I drop onto the cold, Hard ground with a thud. My ass hurts, but I know this is the least painful thing I'm going to do.
"So, how are you going to make it up to this girl?"
Marcella cocks a fist right in front of my face.
Fuck. How am I going to get out of this?
"Fuck you!" I didn't mean to say that.
"Let's go eat first. How about knuckle sandwiches?" Her fist makes contact with my face and I begin to lose conciousness on the cold dirty floor. The last thing I see before I pass out is her hand reach for my belt.
"Marry me!" I mutter unconsciously as I fade.
Can we agree on no adhg. I want a romance story.
I wake up with my head dragging along the cold tile floors of the hallway. Marcella's tugging me like a sleigh with my belt. Everyone in the hallway moves to the side, and laugh when they see me.
"M-marcella please let me go."
Her friends, the hyena and iguana start to talk to me while following.
"She's gonna eatchya!" Chides the Lizard.
"Butcher yuh!" Comes the hyena.
"You're so bad you've made a herbivore a omnivor!"
"A meat eatuh!"
Their snickers only make me blush more. I feel like I'm about to say another stupid thing, so I bite my hand instead. Please let this end soon.
Then I hear a female voice that sounds like a harpy.
"MISS ONTARIO WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MISTER HADES?"
Oh never mind I dont want this help.
The entourage scatters at the teacher's question to Marcella.
Marcella drops me and puts her hands behind her back.
"Nothing miss Priss! Bringing him to journalism, is all" the reindeer gives my heel a kick.
"You better. We have a lot to talk about today!" Miss Priss, the raven journalism teacher, saunters towards me. Her somewhat attractive beak comes into view as she peers over. "Have you heard of the news this morning?"
I instinctively and regrettably say "Bitch!" out loud.
"Yes, bitch indeed, Mr. Hades." Her smile fades before she looks at Marcella. "Did you listen to the news, Miss Ontario?"
"I don't listen to the news, I make the news, and next time you imply I'm a bitch, I'm going to make your ass itch, you got that?"
To emphasize the point the reindeer kicks my heel.
"Shit mouth!" I blurt out in response to the attack on my poor limb.
Miss Priss sighs and shakes her head. "Please, go into the classroom so we can start something productive?"
I wait for Marcella to go inside, then get up and hobble over to my desk. I'm redder than a tomato taking my seat, but there's a saving grace: At least I don't look like the reindeer. She looks crushed between the seat and desk, her legs sticking out at wide angles.
I stiffle a laugh as the teacher goes up to the chalkboard and starts to write.
Miss Priss turns to the class after writing the words "Lesson 1: The Code of Ethics" on the board. She scans the classroom and says "Who can tell me the first rule of honest journalism?"
Around me, my classmates raise their hands. I didn't bother; I'm still thinking about how I'm going to deal with Marcella once class was over.
Miss Priss' first choice is a the beaver, Stella: "Keep the facts consistent with reality!"
The teacher doesn't say she's right, and instead picks the robin girl, adequatly named robin, next. "Be accurate!"
Again Miss Priss picks another raised hand without acknowledging if the earlier student was right. "Ask questions!"
Ms. Priss then addresses the entire class saying "How many of you agree with your classmates" to which most of the class raises their hands.
"Well your wrong! These answers may have been correct 50 years ago but this is the 21st century! There is no 'rule of honest journalism' you just have to write something believable to most people." While Ms. Priss says this she looks me in the eye with a smirk while caressing her hip.
"FFFFFFFFffffffff" Feeling an urge to curse, I slam my head against the desk and then try to say something else. "Horse pussy!" God damn it.
The class giggles a little and Miss Priss tells them to settle down before looking back to me.
Miss Priss blinks and stares at me for a few seconds, than before she speaks I say "So how does this relate to this mornings FUCKING I mean murder?"
"It will be relevant to our lesson in a moment Tucker my sweet-err, I'm glad you are paying attention to the news cycle, it will certainly make this class MUCH easier... That goes for the rest of you, If you pay attention to current events and do a little digging of your own, you will ace this class."
I slump down my seat. It was one thing to say horse pussy. But having the raven teacher call me sweet? I already see Marcella snickering.
"Do you have something to add, Miss Ontario?" Miss Priss says with what appears to be both envy and anger. Sort of a "how dare you insult him". not as a teacher defending her student, but as someone much closer. This makes me a bit uncomfortable and I regrettably shout "Faggot shit!"
"Anyways..." The teacher continues, turning on the projector and typing on her laptop. "No better example of "something believable to most people:" This story."
She brings up an article of the murder I heard about earlier this morning .
"The fact is, our city is very progressive in terms of anthro-to-human population demographics. Outside of it, anthros are a rare sight. And because of our rarity, we gain a lot of hate. And hatred results in...." Mrs Priss spins her feathery hand expecting an answer.
"CUM Fear, which leads to FUCKING violence!" I say regretting my verbal tic.
"Well put Mister Hades!" The avian teacher shoots me another wierd look that I think is...lust? "And thats why, with this upcoming dance, it's important we embrace divirsity."
I then think back to what Marcella was saying earlier, about how I was making her feel. I glance at her, and she's staring at me. And we're just looking at each other.
"What are you looking at, potty mouth?" the reindeer barks.
"M-M-MOTHERFUCKING BITCH FUCK OPRAH." I stutter.
As Marcella gets all huffy-puffy, Robin pipes up again.
"Miss Priss, what proof do you have that this murder was a hatecrime, if I can call it that?"
"Good question Robin! This will lead to our next question in this lesson: 'Is it really a hate crime if you enjoy doing it?'"
At this point, the room was envelloped in an extreme amount of silence. I was starting to wonder what the fuck the teacher was going on about. "FAGGOTS." I said, disturbing the akward silence.
And then the day's saving grace came through the door.
Principal Pucket, the large burly man-baby, opened the door. "Mrs Priss, could I see you for a second?"
My teacher put her hand against her cheek, and then i realized she was giving the same lusty look for me to the fat principal. "Of course!"
She went over, and whsipered with the principal for about five minutes. I began to worry if she was going to leave the classroom. Already i could feel the rumbling of more curses, and goddamn was Marcella looking irate.
Then Miss priss pulled away from the door and resumed her position in front of the class.
"Students, would you please give a warm greeting and welcome our newest student and journalist!" She pointed her wing at the door."Miss Denensis!"
The door creaked open, and in entered a four-foot tall lynx in a green sweatshirt.
Her golden eyes swept across the classroom until they stopped to stare at me.
I felt my heart stir.
"Niggers." I whisper, barely audible.
"Would you please take a seat, Miss Denensis?" Miss Priss seemed slightly annoyed at the lynx's entrance into her stomping grounds. But my thoughts concerning her were interupted as the new student took a seat next to me and immediately started talking.
"Hey, uh I couldn't quite hear what you said earlier. What did you say" The lynx speaks in a soft tone.
"I uh, said bigger BOOBS err sorry, I mean bigger ASS..." I just stopped talking to save myself the emberassment
"Fuck Me..." Is what I thought I said in my head, but in fact I said it out loud.
The cute little Miss Denensis, who couldn't have been any closer to my age, lets loose a surprisingly cute giggle "I'm flattered. My names Amy. Do you have a girlfriend?"
"N-no but I IMPREGNATION, sorry my tic gets LEG LOCK out of hand when I'm HAPPY SEX put on the spot like this."
Amy puts her paw against her muzzle, and lets out the cutest giggle to ever assaile my ears. "Its cute actually. You want to walk with me to my next class?"
"Sure I'll walk you to your next ASS" you really didn't think you would get away without another outburst did you?
But again Amy laughed, and hearing that chime was like a message sent from heaven.
And then it hit me.
A spitball shot from Marcella.
"Hey eye-fucking Lovebirds, my antler's are picking up on your PDA before its even began. How about you save it until marriage or at least once you know each other's phone numbers, ya fucking horny preschoolers?" Taunted Marcella. She chewed the straw she spat the ball at you like it was a cigerette.
Instantly I was overcome by swearing, and before I even realized I had been hit by a spitball every curse in the english language was leaving my mouth, on purpose or automatically.
I was angry. "What the fuck am i going to do to get back at her?" I thought. But I would learn that Amy didn't need to think. She was already taking action the moment the spitball hit my cheek.
Amy sprinted in a beeline towards Marcella and got in her face. Her cursing and insults made your oupursts sound like PG rated content. Angry, Marcella stands up and shouts back, but the lynx kicks the reindeer's right leg to the side throwing her off balance. Amy then immediately follows up with a punch to the face, knocking the spitballer out instantly.
It all happened in a flash. By the time Marcella's head hit the floor Miss Priss was screaming and grabbing Amy's fist.
"Holy FUCKING Shit." I said. I'm fucking blown away here. Did a cute lynx really just arrive, ask to be my girlfriend and then beat the fuck out of my bully all in the same 10 minutes?
Miss Priss yanked Amy by the hand towards the class door, and that lynx faced me. I saw red in her eyes, but maybe it was the blood leaving Marcella's new broken antler. Then Amy's anger faded, and she spoke just before leaving the door.
"Flagpole after school?"
"TOMBOY. Uhh. YEAH?" I yelled, cementing where my first and wierdest date was supposed to happen.
Looking at the comatose Marcella, I realized: Hey, I should ask Amy to the dance.
And so the rest of the school day went by without an event. When the final bell rang, I went straight to the flagpole.
I see Amy and I tried to call out her name, but I yelled "BIG BREASTS" Instead much to my own frustration. I can see Amy giggle a bit and wave. But then her smile disappeares and her eyes widen in surprise. Before I even have time to think, my eyes are covered by a fuzzy hand grabbing the front of my face. The hand twists my head forcing me to turn my body around and lets go of me. I look upon the growling reindeer who stands before me.
It's Marcella, she looks pissed, and is holding a shovel. She kicks me to the ground. But before she can do anything else Amy drop kicks her knocking her out instantly and lands on top of you face first into your... well, face.
You stare into her eyes as she is inches from your face. A crowd gathers but neither of you seem to notice, as you feel her breasts press against your chest. You are both blushing hard, but neither say anything until you speak up to break the awkward silence "I kinda want to FUCK you... Sorry I mean't-" But before you could correct yourself she finishes your sentence for you saying "mean't kiss?" Her lips then press against yours.
hey guys, any ideas on where to go from here I mean there still is the dance, to write about... Maybe Tucker might get lucky with Amy? Sex with your mom?