34) Chapter 7. No, It’s Not Even That Different? (3)
Squeeze, squeeze.
“……”
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
“…Um, Soi?”
I whispered her name softly.
But Soi didn’t let go of my hand.
It was class time.
She had played with my hand all through break, but once the teacher came in, she couldn’t sit next to me anymore. She was too much of a model student to do that during class.
But even then, she apparently had no intention of giving up.
With one hand she wrote in her textbook, and with the other—hidden behind her back—she kept opening and closing her fingers.
She did it for so long that I wondered if she wanted me to hold it, so I reached out.
And she grabbed it immediately.
Soi held my hand tightly and refused to let go.
“……”
I couldn’t keep calling her name during a quiet lesson.
And even if I did, she wouldn’t let go.
My face grew hot.
The teacher could definitely see us. Students always think the teacher can’t see their little side antics, but adults always say that once you stand at the front, you can see everything.
And indeed, the teacher’s gaze drifted toward us several times.
She seemed to be debating whether to say something.
The kids showed their discomfort toward me openly, but the teachers were much more restrained. Maybe because of professionalism, or because they were adults, or because they had to deal with parents.
Still, they were cautious.
Like they didn’t know how to treat me. And honestly, since she wasn’t even my homeroom teacher, she probably didn’t want to get involved.
…If I were an adult, I’d think the same.
“…Ahem.”
Anyway.
It seemed she finally decided to address it.
“Cut the fooling around until after class.”
Soi’s hand flinched, her grip loosening slightly.
She didn’t let go completely—reluctant to the end—but my hand, damp with her warmth, finally slipped free.
I let out a tiny sigh of relief and glanced around. The kids were sneaking looks at us.
Mm.
My face burned.
Girls holding hands isn’t weird. I’d seen plenty of classmates walk arm‑in‑arm or hand‑in‑hand.
But unfortunately, inside me was the ghost of a socially awkward guy who couldn’t even talk to girls in school.
So being held onto like this—so long, so tightly—was something I wasn’t used to.
…
Still, thanks to that embarrassment…
I didn’t have any room left for darker thoughts.
- *
Even after letting go of Rua’s hand, Soi still felt the soft sensation lingering on her fingers.
Like how your body feels like it’s still floating after getting out of water—Soi felt that same strange buoyancy in her chest.
She didn’t know exactly what it was.
But she didn’t dislike it.
She had let go because the teacher scolded her, but even after that, she couldn’t focus on class.
Partly because she’d been absorbed in holding Rua’s hand, but mostly because the atmosphere among the students was unsettling.
She had expected this.
Her mother had already warned her. She didn’t say Rua would be outright bullied, but she did ask Soi to take good care of her.
The kids wouldn’t bully Rua in front of Soi.
And even without Soi, they wouldn’t do anything obvious. They knew who Rua’s guardian was.
And the teachers didn’t seem inclined to blame Rua either.
“…Hmm.”
Soi made a small sound as she thought, and the girl sitting in front of her flinched.
The same girl who had called Soi “kind” earlier.
Soi stared at the back of her head, sinking deeper into thought.
Holding hands wasn’t enough to show they were different from normal friends.
Sure, even that level of closeness would make people cautious.
But that wasn’t enough for “sisterly affection.”
In Soi’s mind, sisters were family—loving each other, protecting each other, willing to risk their lives, seeing each other every day, closer than best friends (actual sisters might disagree).
The problem was that Rua was extremely sensitive to physical contact. Because of her childhood trauma.
That woman had made even a touch on the head frightening.
So what could she do besides holding hands?
Something not quite a hug, but similar. Not quite petting, but similar. Something that would clearly show everyone that they were inseparable.
Something that said:
If you mess with her, you mess with me.
“Hmm.”
It was worth thinking about, Soi decided.
*
After class, as usual, they went to meet Chae‑yi.
Soi didn’t exactly hate Chae‑yi. If anything, she was closer to liking her.
Chae‑yi had cherished Rua even more after the incident, and that alone earned her points.
But fully accepting her was still hard.
Because whenever Chae‑yi was around, Soi felt like her own place beside Rua was being threatened.
Of course, considering the years they’d spent together, that was impossible.
But still—feelings were feelings.
Even so, sometimes you had to ask for help from someone like that.
“You want us to take turns protecting Rua?”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
Chae‑yi brightened too quickly, so Soi shut that down immediately.
“Not taking turns. Just… when I absolutely have to leave Rua’s side.”
“……”
Rua was in the shower.
Soi had tried many times when they were younger to bathe together, but Rua never allowed it. She accepted most of Soi’s clinginess, but that one thing she rejected so sincerely that Soi couldn’t force it.
Thanks to that, Soi now had time to talk to Chae‑yi alone.
“So you want me to watch her when you go to the bathroom?”
“Don’t want to?”
“It’s not that. I already go to her during breaks whenever I can.”
“Are you sure? She was alone in the classroom for a bit today.”
“……”
Chae‑yi looked away.
Soi understood. Chae‑yi was in a different class.
And she needed to maintain relationships with her own classmates.
But what was the point of acting like she adored Rua if she wasn’t there when it mattered?
…Isn’t that too selfish? Chae‑yi has her own life.
Soi’s conscience whispered.
But affection, irritation, and jealousy all voted to ignore that.
“Well, fine.”
Chae‑yi agreed.
“It might get worse. Or better. We might even become targets too.”
“We’ll deal with that when it happens. It’s not now.”
“True.”
Her mother had said they could consider transferring schools if necessary.
Whether Chae‑yi could follow was unknown.
Just then, the shower stopped.
Soi stood up, and Chae‑yi followed.
“Why are you getting up?”
“Can’t I?”
“You’re going home soon. You don’t need to shower.”
“I’m going to dry Rua’s hair.”
Soi was speechless.
That was her job as the older sister!
“I already washed! I’m drying it!”
“Fine. Rock‑paper‑scissors.”
“This is my house!?”
“…Soi?”
Of course Rua came out right as Soi yelled.
“Uh… well, yeah…”
Chae‑yi immediately wilted.
But Soi didn’t back down. She glared at Chae‑yi sharply—making sure Rua couldn’t see her expression.
“You’re drying your hair, right? Come on.”
Soi grabbed Rua’s hand and led her to the room.
Rua followed, wide‑eyed, glancing back at Chae‑yi.
Chae‑yi snickered and followed behind them.
But she vowed that next time, she’d seize the chance.
*
Soi sat Rua down and began drying her hair.
Unfortunately, Rua flinched whenever she touched her, so she used the dryer on the lowest setting, gently.
Rua hugged her childhood rabbit plushie to her chest, leaning forward slightly. It made her look smaller than usual.
Maybe it was just the posture, but…
Her small back looked like a tiny animal hiding in a burrow—so adorable that—
“…Ah!?”
Soi suddenly yelped.
“Hyah!?”
Rua jumped in surprise.
Chae‑yi, watching nearby, widened her eyes.
“What? What happened?”
“Huh? Oh? N‑nothing.”
Soi hurried to cover it up and glanced at Chae‑yi.
Did she notice?
Chae‑yi narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but didn’t seem to understand.
Soi fought to keep her lips from curling up.
She had found something stronger than holding hands.
Something not quite a hug, but close.
How had she not realized it sooner, when she saw this posture every day?
If hugging wasn’t allowed… then Rua could hug her instead.
Soi calmed herself and resumed drying Rua’s hair.
Chae‑yi continued staring suspiciously.
And of course, Soi didn’t explain a thing.
- *
A/N:
Thank you for reading today!
Sorry it’s so late ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ