Finding new hobbies for Kronii since making her pledge to wean herself off of Minecraft has been a fucking struggle.
Both in the sense that it’s difficult and the sense that most of the activities you’ve tried together have only been kept from utter tedium by devolving into frenzied lovemaking.
Admittedly, the frustration sex is pretty damn good, but it’s hardly a long term solution.
It’s like you need someone else around to make sure you and Kronii keep your hands off each other long enough to really get into the activity.
Bae offered to bring you both along to her EDM dance classes, but Kronii shot that down quick. She doesn’t have nearly enough stamina for something so intensive.
Sana suggested stargazing, but Kronii also declined that, citing a “fear” of being outdoors at night (read: hikki).
She doesn’t have quite the patience for reading anymore either, so Mumei’s book recommendations fell on deaf (but still cute) ears.
The only council member to think of something that Kronii gave even the briefest consideration to was, surprisingly, Fauna.
You hadn’t seen them talk much, but it sometimes felt like Kronii looked up to Fauna, admiring the healthier, disciplined lifestyle she strove for.
So maybe agreeing to Fauna’s idea of yoga classes is a step in the right direction.
Maybe.
Hey, even in the worst case scenario, you get to see Kronii in yoga pants, so you’re not objecting any time soon.
God bless yoga pants, you find yourself thinking, as your eyes stray towards Kronii’s slender, slightly-rounded behind for the nth time since she put them on.
This time though, she catches you, bringing you to attention with a clearing of her throat.
”Look, I know it’s gorgeous and pristine and amazing and you’re blessed to even be in the same postcode as it, but once we get in there you better keep your eyes all the way forward.”
She steps towards you, reaching out to run a hand down your stomach, and leaning in to your ear.
”Because if you don’t keep your eyes to yourself,” she whispers, gently tugging at your waistband. “I might just have to jump your bones right in Fauna’s living room. And nobody wants that, right?”
You nod with a tiny smirk.
”Good.”
With that, Kronii pulls away and rings the doorbell.
An endearing, surprised “Uuuu!” emerges from within the house, followed by an excited “Coming!”
Ceres Fauna opens the door, heralded by the sound of the soft bells hanging above it.
”So glad you came!” she says, stretching her arms out to hug Kronii and then you.
The hug feels unnaturally warm, and douses you in the scent of her perfume, relaxing and invigorating both at once.
”Come in, come in!” Fauna turns away and leads you back into her home.
You and Kronii move to follow, but you stop almost dead upon noticing Mother Nature’s shapely, wide-hipped bubble butt straining against the luckiest piece of pale green fabric in the world.
God fucking bless yoga pants.
It seems Kronii notices it too, and fortunately for you her eyes are too transfixed on its swaying motion to worry about where yours are aiming.
Both at once and without a word, you gather your courage and enter the Keeper’s abode.
Omega have mercy on your soul.
You’re not gonna make it.
Fauna’s cozy cottage is filled with the aromas of various essences and oils. Flower pots rest on windowsills and hang from the frames above. The whole place is stunningly clean, a bit of a shock to the system given the generally lazy conditions you and Kronii live in.
In the living room, Fauna has cleared a space for three yoga mats, one laid sideways in front of the others.
“So, you two ready? We’ll just do some basic ones today, I wanna get to know how your bodies work so I can prepare a more… tailored routine for next time.”
You and Kronii assume your positions kneeling on the two parallel mats.
Fauna demonstrates the first pose of the day: Hero Pose. Hands on knees, back straight. She notices a hunch in Kronii’s neck, which Kronii hurriedly corrects.
Second, Child’s Pose. You and Kronii bend forward, stretching your arms to the corners of your mats and pressing the sides of your faces to the vinyl. You give Kronii a ridiculous grin. She replies with a playful scrunch of the nose.
”You know, I’ve never actually led others in yoga before,” Fauna confesses with a giggle. “I didn’t realise this pose would make you look like you’re bowing to me. I kinda like it.”
Following that, Fauna takes the two of you through a few other stretches, beginning each one with a demonstration on her own mat before walking around to examine your technique from all angles.
Each of her examples brings a blush to Kronii’s cheeks and an increasing tightness to your trackpants as both sets of eyes are drawn to the instructor’s stellar rear.
”Okay,” Fauna announces, returning to her mat from another patrol. “For this next pose I want you to press your forehead into the mat and keep your eyes closed. Focus on your breathing. This pose is called the Extended Puppy.”
Fauna enters a posture similar to the Child’s Pose, only this time with the hips up above the knees.
Considering she’s facing away from Kronii’s mat, the possibility that she’s trying to flex on the Warden with her fit butt crosses your mind.
But hey, maybe she’s just showing Kronii what she could become with enough exercise. Incentives are very important to goal-setting.
Yes. Incentives. Goals. Self-improvement. Yup.
Please God, let you think about anything that isn’t that perfect deer ass.
As you and Kronii attempt to mimic the pose, you trace the sound of Fauna’s footsteps moving around the far side of Kronii.
With a face full of vinyl, there is little to do but hold the position and listen to a few uncomfortable grunts as Kronii’s stretch is pushed a bit further than she thinks herself capable of.
Fauna’s steps resume, circling around the back towards you.
A tender hand brushes between your legs, sliding up to your raised crotch. Your eyes shoot open.
”Keep those eyes closed, and keep that breathing steady. You should be able to feel the energy going from your head, all… the way… through… your body…”
Soft, agile fingers grasp around the outline of your half-erect cock and give it a small squeeze. Your breathing and heartbeat reach ludicrous speeds, trying to stay quiet despite the gentle, intimate touch.
Fauna then lets go and keeps walking.
”Okay, last one. Bridge Pose. You can open your eyes to watch me, but then we’ll go right back to having them closed.”
You and Kronii sit up into the kneeling position again. You hope to every God ever conceived by mortal imagination that Kronii is too hypnotised by Fauna’s ass to notice your raging erection.
Fauna lies on her back, then presses her shoulders and the soles of her feet firmly into the mat. She raises her hips to the ceiling, like offering her pussy to the heavens. No! Bad Anon! Stop thinking that!
Kronii flips over and does her best to imitate Fauna. She starts groaning before Fauna even arrives to push her further, her spine severely out of practice.
Fauna crawls on her hands and knees into the space on the wooden floor between you and Kronii. Once again she turns to assist Kronii first. How merciful she is, giving you a chance to brace yourself.
Quickly giving up on helping the recovering shut-in for now, Fauna shifts around to face you. Your eyes are shut tighter than Fort Knox.
Fauna’s hand presses up into your lower back. You relax a little into it, relieved by the more platonic touch.
That is until you feel her hot breath sliding under your shirt.
Holding you up with her hand, Fauna presses her face against your dick.
”Remember… breathe…” she says softly.
You do as instructed. You hear her breathing in along with you, inhaling your musk.
Her thankfully closed mouth catches a contained, drawn-out moan trying to escape. Her hand pushes your hips up against her head, stretching your muscles to the same point of grunting that Kronii had reached.
Probably for the best. Maybe your noises of discomfort will obscure Fauna’s lewd sounds.
Seemingly satisfied, Fauna lets your hips drop and stands up, walking over to the mat.
”Okay! I think I can tell what kind of stretches you two need. How do you feel?”
Kronii just stares at the wall in front of her with the vocal static of a woman dead inside, having only now come to terms with how inflexible she’s become over years of her current lifestyle. Fauna laughs at the implicit answer.
”And you?”
Uh.
Fuck.
How do you even answer?
How do questions work again?
After a few seconds of stunned stillness, you echo Kronii’s wide-eyed groan. Fauna laughs again, but this time through a much wider, slyer smile.
”Well, that’ll be all for today, then. Call me, let me know when you feel like coming back.”
You try not to make it obvious how fast you want to get out of Fauna’s cottage as you and Kronii gather your things and say farewell.
You make a mental note to fuck Kronii’s lights out tonight. Anything to steer your mind away from that stupid sexy nature goddess.
God damn yoga pants.