A Freelance Request

by Phanpy-anon
Sequel to Introducing Capim Town

Prison was strangely reminiscent of Wigglytuff’s Guild. Each musty cell consisted of iron bars, a dirt floor, and hay beds. The four of us shared a cell, and as much as the logical part of my brain wanted to yell at Cyndaquil, the drunk part of my brain was too tired to argue. It was the drunk part that won in the end. Even though my bed was just a pile of hay on a cold floor, I had no trouble falling asleep.

In the morning, we were each given an apple for breakfast.

I took an apple. “So. What happened last night, Cyndaquil? I thought you were an expert at handling the police.”

“I was trying to butter him up a little!” said Cyndaquil. “If I complimented him enough, I thought he would let us off with a warning!”

“I’m pretty sure he was already going to let us off with a warning,” I said.

Torchic pecked at her breakfast. “Didn’t Cyndaquil break the once a day rule?”

“You can’t prove that!” shouted Cyndaquil. “It might have happened after midnight!”

Totodile sat up, clutching his head. “Please don’t yell so early in the morning.” He tugged at the bandages still on his arm.

Cyndaquil passed Totodile an apple. “Totodile is right. We shouldn’t argue. It’s all in the past now.”

I rolled my eyes. “Can you at least wait until we’re out of prison before you try and act all enlightened?”

We were interrupted by the sound of the door to the jail being opened. Officer Magnezone led an Oshawott to our cell.

Cyndaquil recognized Oshawott. “Hey Shelly, I knew you’d come for me!”

“I told you, my name is Gus,” said the Oshawott. “I’m not surprised you were one of the Pokemon the Guildmaster sent me to bail out. Who are the other three?”

“These are my teammates!” Cyndaquil pointed at me. “Phanpy here is the leader. We’re team OnlyPhans!”

“That’s not our team name,” I said.

Officer Magnezone unlocked the door to our cell and escorted us out of the prison.

“Whatever your team name is,” said Gus, “you four are the first guild members to get arrested. And also the first guild members to be banned from the Blue Claw Inn. Congratulations.”

“What about Charmander and Natu?” I asked. “They were there with us.”

“From the story Natu told me,” said Gus, “they were just innocent bystanders caught up in whatever sordid thing Cyndaquil did.”

Cyndaquil threw up his arms. “I didn’t do anything! Totodile was the one who got the cops called!”

“I think you deserve most of the blame,” I said.

“No, Cyndaquil is right,” said Torchic. “Totodile’s fire breathing trick was the last straw.”

Our group stood in a loose circle outside of the prison. A few clouds drifted lazily across the sky, and the morning sun was pleasantly warm. It was good to breathe free air again.

Gus was absentmindedly turning his scalchop over in his hands. “Well, I bailed you guys out, so my job is done.”

“Don’t go yet, Shelly!” said Cyndaquil. “You can join us on our mission tomorrow!”

Gus looked at me questioningly.

I shrugged. “If you really want to come with us, I won’t say no.”

“Maybe some other time.” Gus fiddled with his scalcop some more. “And when Cyndaquil isn’t there.”

As Gus walked off towards the Capim Town docks, Cyndaquil called out to him. “Come on Shelly! I’m a nice guy when you get to know me!”

I watched Gus pick up his pace. “I’m counting that as today’s flirting attempt.”

“Damn,” said Cyndauil. “If I had known that would count, I would’ve used a better pickup line.

“Don’t feel too bad,” said Torchic. “I don’t think your odds would have improved.”

Cyndaquil shook his head. “It’s not about the odds, it’s about the thrill of the gamble. You gotta go big or go home.”

“That’s stupid,” said Torchic. “You should be trying to maximize your return on investment.”

“What are you, some kind of soulless stock broker?” asked Cyndaquil. “The risks are the whole point! Why even gamble if you can’t lose it all in an instant?”

Torchic sighed. “I wouldn’t care if you were just making a fool of yourself, but you’re betting with the whole team’s social capital.”

“You’ll change your tune when I win it all back, and then some.”

“I’m not holding my breath.” Torchic looked at me. “Phanpy, is there something more important we could be doing?”

“I guess we could go to the market,” I said. “We ate through most of our supplies on the trip here from Treasure Town.”

“Why didn’t the guild give us supplies?”

“Because I was in charge of organizing the move,” I said, “and I knew that we had enough food to last us for the trip. I wanted to save the guild some money.”

“While the Guildmaster may appreciate your frugality,” said Torchic, “we don’t have enough money to indulge in charity.”

Cyndaquil tilted his head questioningly. “Why don’t we just nab some food from the kitchen?”

I shrugged. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

With our course of action decided, we made our way back to the guild. The kitchen was right next to the dining hall, with a window between the two allowing the chef to serve meals hot off of the stove. The guild’s chef, a Munchlax named Beast, was hard at work in the kitchen. He was chopping vegetables in preparation for the lunch rush.

Cyndaquil poked his head through the door to the kitchen. "Yo! Beast boy!"

In response, a kitchen knife embedded itself in the wall next to Cyndaquil's head. A gruff voice called out to us. “The next one’ll be between your eyes!”

"What did you do this time?" I asked.

"I asked him for cooking oil,” said Cyndaquil. “I wanted it for lube.”

"When have you ever needed lube?" said Torchic.

"I haven't needed it yet,” said Cyndaquil “but it never hurts to be prepared.

I shook my head. “Did he even know what you wanted lube for?”

“He didn't know, I had to explain it to him."

“Let me guess. You then asked him for anal sex?”

“I didn’t ask him, per se,” said Cyndaquil, “I just offered to give him a hands on demonstration.”

I looked at the knife embedded in the wall. "And now you're banned from the kitchen."

"Not explicitly," said Cyndaquil.

"You were alone for less than a day!” I shouted. “How did you even manage to perv on so many Pokemon?"

"What can I say? I'm the fastest flirt in the West."

"Phanpy,” said Totodile, “I think I'm banned from the kitchen too.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well,” said Totodile, “I couldn't find a liquor store in time for our meeting with Riolu and Eevee, so I snuck some stuff from the kitchen."

"And you were caught?" I said.

Totodile nodded. "I thought he would chop my arm off."

I looked at the bandages on Totodile’s arm and sighed.

"Phanpy, why don't you just do it?" said Torchic.

Beast shouted at us from inside of the kitchen. "I can hear you all talking out there! These are my ingredients! If you want some, it'll cost you an arm and a leg!"

Produce at the market square was surprisingly cheap. Serenity River provided water for the irrigation of dozens of local farms. A lot of that food came through Capim Town before it went out to sea, so the market was well stocked with affordable supplies. We found a backpack that would fit Cyndaquil and stuffed it with food. None of us had the survival skills needed to live off of the land, so we erred on the side of caution in our preparations.

“We should get some rope too,” said Cydndaquil.

I shot him a look.

Cyndaquil grinned. “It’s not just for BDSM, Phanpy. What if our next job is up in the mountains? There’s no way we could haul you up without rope. You probably weigh more than the rest of us combined.”

“Fine,” I said. But I’m carrying the rope.”

I still had my bag from Treasure Town, albeit with some scorch marks from our frantic escape from Apple Woods. A few coils of rope easily fit inside. When the rest of my teammates were distracted, I quietly bought a few blast seeds and slipped them in as well. No matter what they thought, the seeds were too useful to not always have a few on hand. After we had purchased our supplies we stopped by the clinic at the request of Totodile.

I put my trunk on Cyndaquil’s shoulder as he reached for the door. “You’re staying outside.”

Totodile brushed past us and into the clinic.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, I just wanted to see if I could catch a glimpse of Audino’s butt!” said Cyndauqil.

I dragged Cydnaquil away from the door. “How about the three of us wait here, and stay out of trouble for five minutes.”

“How could I get in trouble for just looking?” asked Cyndaquil.

“Nurse Audino has an itchy trigger finger,” said Torchic. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she maced you the next time you walked into the clinic without a good reason.”

“That’s true. I want to avoid getting hit with that stuff a third time. It burns like you wouldn’t believe. Also sticks in my fur, and takes ages to wash out.”

“I’m surprised it would only be your third time,” I said.

“Me too,” said Cyndaquil.

Totodile emerged from the clinic, with Riolu and Eevee following him. Eevee’s hind leg was in a cast and he walked with a slight limp, trying to keep his weight off of the broken limb. The three of them were engaged in conversation.

“See?” said Totodile. “The rest of my team is here too!”

“Good,” said Riolu. “We can go right to the sparring field then.”

“The nurse told me to avoid strenuous activity,” said Eevee. “She said I’d just break my leg again if I didn’t let it heal.” Eevee snorted. “If only she knew how often this happened.”

“If you’re still injured,” I said, “you really shouldn’t be sparring.”

“I know that,” said Eevee. “We met some of the Capim Town guild members the other day. We asked around, and found some that were willing to spar with you guys.”

“I’ll go see who's free,” said Riolu, breaking away from our group.

“Why are we going to a field?” I asked. “Isn’t there a dojo in the guid?”

“Phanpy,” said Torchic. “Half of our team breathes fire, and the guild is built into a tree.”

Eevee led us to a large empty field a ways away from town. Other groups of Pokemon were scattered around, practicing moves too dangerous to perform in town. We were blinded by a sudden flash of light, followed by one of the distant Pokemon firing a great beam of light towards us. I could feel the heat of the attack as it flew overhead.

“Oh yeah,” said Eevee. “Remember to check your fire around here.”

I spotted Riolu approaching us from the direction of the guildhall. He had a Wooper and a Chespin with him.

“I found some training partners,” said Riolu.

“Hello!” said Wooper.

Chespin pointed at Cyndaquil. “I’ve heard about that guy. Do we have to help him?”

Cyndaquil put up his hands. “Hey, I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’ll just be watching from the sidelines.”

“Honestly,” I said, “I think I’ll sit this one out too. I’ve got a pretty good handle on how to throw my weight around.”

Wooper looked at the bottle in Totodile’s hand. “Wow! You must be a trained human warrior.”

Totodile tilted his head. “What? Why?”

“One time, Chespin showed me this human fighting techni-”

Chespin put a hand over Wooper’s mouth and faked a laugh. “Haha, yeah, why don’t we get to training?”

Cyndaquil and I stood back as the other Pokemon walked out into an empty section of field. They started with trying to help Torchic keep her balance.

Torchic launched a couple fireballs before tipping over and landing on her back. “Wooper, how do you deal with the recoil without arms?”

Wooper thought about it. “You just brace for it!”

Riolu helped Torchic up.

“Why don’t you two try working together?” asked Chespin. When Torchic looked confused, Chespin clarified. “Like this!”

A pair of vines sprouted from Chespins body and wrapped themselves around Wooper. The vines lifted Wooper in the air and held him like a gun. Chespin swung Wooper through the air as Wooper fired off bolts of water.

“I get it!” said Totodile. He picked up Torchic and mimicked Chespin’s stance.

Riolu nodded in satisfaction. “You two try to hit me.” He began running down the field.

“Wow,” said Cyndaquil. “He’s actually Naruto running. I didn’t think he had it in him.”

Totodile chased after Riolu, still carrying Torchic. Torchic spat out fireballs after the fleeing Pokemon. Her accuracy left something to be desired.

I sat down in the grass. “This will take a while.”

Cyndaquil sat next to me. “Luckily for us, there’s plenty of eyecandy to ogle while we wait.”

Cynaquil pointed at a Lilligant sparring with a Croagunk. It looked more like Lilligant was performing a ballet than fighting. Delicate pink flower petals swirled around her as she moved. The petals seemed to be forcing Croagunk to keep his distance.

“Figures,” I said. “You’ve got a one track mind.”

“I can think about two things at once!” said Cynaquil. “I’m also thinking: ‘Maybe Phanpy prefers his women to be slim and elegant like Lilligant, instead of plush and down-to-earth like Roserade.’ “

“Swing and a miss,” I said.

“You better tell me if I get it right.”

“I will.”

As the last few petals from Lilligant’s dance landed in the grass, Croagunk saw an opportunity to attack. He darted forwards, hands in front of his face like a boxer. Once he was within striking range, Croagunk unleashed a flurry of jabs. In response, Lilligant bowed her head. One of Croagunk’s blows hit the bright orange flower atop Lilligant’s head. The flower released a green, pollen-like dust that coated Croagunk’s face and upper body.

Croagunk’s movements became more sluggish, his strikes less forceful. A few seconds later, Croagunk collapsed to the ground. He was snoring softly. Lilligant looked at us, her audience, and curtsied before attending to her sparring partner.

Cyndaquil looked at me. “Did you see that?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was just sleep powder.”

“Doesn’t it look familiar to you? You visited me in the hospital at Treasure Town, right?”

I thought back to when I checked on Cyndaquil in the hospital. His room was coated in a layer of green dust. The color was awfully similar to the sleep powder Lilligant had used.

I burst out laughing.

Cyndaquil groaned. “And here I thought Nurse Roserade and I were getting along so well! She was the only nurse who visited me!”

“You have to admit,” I said, “it’s better than getting maced. Or arrested.”

“I guess so. But still, you think you know a lady.” Cyndaquil looked back out at the sparring fields. “Sorry for getting you guys thrown in jail with me, by the way.”

I shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. I have to admit, It was a team effort.”

The two of us watched Lilligant finish brushing the sleep powder off of Croagunk. Croagunk sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“And don’t tell the other guild members this,” I said, “but I won’t really throw you off of a building if you mess up.”

“Really?” asked Cyndaquil. “I was preparing my last words. I even already knew what I would want to eat for my last meal but-”

I interrupted Cyndaquil. “But Nurse Audino wouldn’t consent to it.”

“You know me so well.”

Riolu came back to our group. “We’re calling it quits for today.”

“Already?” I said.

Riolu rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. Totodile’s pretty drunk right now, like he usually is I guess. He couldn’t hold Torchic steady. Torchic threw up.”

We walked over to where everyone else was standing.

Torchic was lying in the grass on her back. “Everything is still spinning.”

Wooper looked at me. “You know, this reminds of the time Chespin bought a dozen bottles of-”

“Well!” shouted Chespin. “That was a good sparring session, but Wooper and I have to get going!”

Chespin ushered Wooper back towards the guild.

“We should get going too,” said Riolu.

Eevee nodded. “Let us know if you want to spar again. Maybe I’ll be out of a cast next time.”

I looked back at Torchic. Her eyes were squeezed shut. Cyndaquil carefully picked Torchic up and set her on my back. I held her steady with my trunk as we walked back to the guild.

The next morning, I pulled four scarves and badges out of the chest in our room and passed them out to my teammates before struggling with my own scarf. It was hard to tie it around my neck with only a trunk.

Cyndaquil took the scarf from me. “Let me.”

He tied the scarf around my neck and I pinned a clover-shaped badge to my scarf. I looked up and saw Totodile helping Torchic with her scarf. When we were all ready, we went downstairs to find a job. I found a simple one. Someone wanted us to look for a backpack they lost out in a dungeon.

The Guildmaster interrupted us. “Ah, Phanpy. Has your team found a mission?”

I passed the job request to the Guildmaster.

He read it over, then frowned. “Oran Forest?”

“Is there something wrong, sir?” I said.

The Guildmaster idly scratched his ear, unsure of what to say. “Maybe your team should go somewhere else. There’s a lot of beautiful places in this world. You four should see something besides a forest.”

“Sir, most of our jobs are local. They’re all in a forest.”

“That’s true.” Meowstic put the paper back on the board. “How about you take the day off instead? Your weekend was interrupted, so maybe you can continue to enjoy Capim Town?”

“We’re up for the job,” I said. “It won’t be like Apple Woods.”

“I’m sure it won’t be, but I did tell you that I would make you take some time to relax.” I opened my mouth to protest, but the Guildmaster continued. “I will pick a job for your team tomorrow.”

The Guildmaster turned from us and walked upstairs, towards his office.

“If we have the day off, we can go to the Inn!” said Totodile.

“We’re banned from the Inn,” said Torchic.

“I found a cafe when I was cruising for tail the other day,” said Cyndaquil. “They don’t serve alcohol, but it looked cozy.”

I sighed. “It’s not like we have anything better to do.”

The four of us walked out of the guildhall and into Capim Town proper. We passed by other guild members preparing to head out on explorations. The cafe was nestled between a bookstore and a store selling assorted knicknacks. Dining tables sat outside of the cafe with umbrellas to provide shade. Totodile and Cyndaquil went inside to get drinks as Torchic and I sat at an empty table.

Cydnaquil set a cup of tea, with a metal straw, in front of me. “So, why is the Guildmaster trying to give you a day off?”

When I tried to take a sip of tea, the straw burnt my lips. “He thinks I work too hard. Keeps telling me to ‘get out and make some friends.’ ”

“You really should. You’ve been here longer than me, but I bet I’ve met more guild members than you.”

I looked at Cyndaquil. “That’s because you hit on everybody.”

“Not everybody, I haven’t hit on you guys since we first met!”

“Why not?” asked Torchic. “It’s not like you developed scruples since you joined the guild.”

“Oh, are you feeling left out?” said Cyndaquil.

Torchic rolled her eyes. “As if.”

Cyndaquil sipped his tea. “I never really thought about it. I guess it’s ‘cause we’re friends.”

“That can’t be the only reason,” I said. “We’ve only known each other for a few weeks, and I almost got you killed.”

Cyndaquil smiled. “You’re always so focused on the negative, Phanpy. We did fun stuff too. Traveling together, exploring town, hanging out with the other guild members.”

“Until we got arrested,” I said.

“See? Always focused on the negative.”

A passing Goodra interrupted our conversation. He pointed at Cyndaquil. “You’re that pervert Cyndaquil, right?” Are the rest of you part of his team?”

I sighed. “Yes, we are. If you’re looking for compensation you’ll need to wait. We’re short on cash right now.”

Goodra shook his head. “Quite the contrary, in fact! I have a job for you. The kind of Pokemon that would team up with Cyndaquil are just who I’m looking for.”

“Sir, I apologize, but we’re from an exploration guild and not a brothel.”

Goodra laughed. “No, no. You see, I need you to get something for me. A few years ago, before I married my wife, I hid some personal treasures in Waterfall Cave. I want you four to go and bring them back. It shouldn’t be any trouble.”

“Will you pay?” said Torchic.

“Of course!” said Goodra.

“Then we’ll do it.”

“Excellent!” Goodra handed me a silver key. “I hid it in the old fixed point at the end of the mystery dungeon. It’s been replaced by this big chamber, called the Echo Chamber. I haven’t been there myself, but I’ve heard the acoustics in it are marvelous. My treasure should still be hidden around there. It’s in a wooden treasure chest. You’ll know it when you see it.”

“Do we have to do this?” said Cyndaquil. “He should just get it himself.”

Torchic shushed him. “We’re not going to turn down a paying client!”

“Normally I would just fetch it myself,” said Goodra, “but I’m currently in the middle of a… messy separation with my wife. On that note, I also have to ask you for your discretion. Drop off the treasures in the dumpster behind the Blue Claw Inn. Make sure no one sees you.”

“If you want to keep this secret,” asked Torchic, “how will we be paid?”

“I’ll be checking the dumpster every night until I see the treasure, so I’ll drop off the money when I get the goods. The garbage gets collected at the end of the week, so make sure you’re punctual.”

“You have yourself a deal,” said Torchic.

“Excellent!” said Goodra. “I knew I could count on you four. I’ll let you get right to your preparations. And remember, you never saw me.”

With that, Goodra departed.

“Why’d you take his job?” said Totodile. “We could've turned him down, the Guildmaster gave us the day off.”

I nodded. "More importantly, the Guildmaster ordered us to take the day off…”

“I don’t remember signing any contract,” said Torchic. “If we want to do some freelance work on our day off, that’s our prerogative.”

I looked at Cyndaquil and Totodile. “What do you two think?”

Cyndaquil opened his bag and counted what little Poke was inside. “Our current funds will cover about three apples, so if he’s paying, I think we should go. I wanted to get a gift to woo Nurse Audino with my cut of the money, but I don’t think she’d be impressed by berries.”

“If those two want to,” said Totodile, “then I’m ready to go on an adventure!”

“Fine. We can go,” I said.

“Phanpy,” said Torchic, “do you ever feel like you succumb too easily to peer pressure?”

“It isn’t peer pressure, it’s a vote!”

It only took us a few hours to reach Waterfall Cave. We stood on an exposed bluff in front of a roaring waterfall. There was supposedly a cave hidden behind the waterfall.

“What do you think Goodra’s treasure is?” asked Totodile.

“I bet it’s something he’ll use to kill his wife,” said Cyndaquil.

“He’s a fully evolved Pokemon,” I said. “If he wanted to kill his wife he’d be strong enough to do it with his own power.”

“Not if she has a type advantage on him.”

“Kecleon sells wands,” I said. “And blast seeds.”

“Maybe…” said Cyndaquil. “Maybe it’s one of those exclusive items the Croagunk in Treasure Town swaps for. Or maybe it’s an orb to let him get away with the crime.”

“So what,” I said, “he uses the item to get the upper hand in battle, then uses an orb to hide the body? I guess that’s plausible.”

“Guys,” said Totodile, “I’m having second thoughts about taking this job.”

“It’s fine,” said Torchic. “If we think he’s going to kill his wife, we can just report him to the cops. I bet we’ll get paid for it.”

Cyndaquil stretched. “Guess there’s only one way to find out what the treasure is.”

Cyndaquil broke into a sprint towards the waterfall, then dove through it. Totodile followed shortly after him. I watched Torchic attempt to run, then stumble when one of her talons got caught on a rock. I picked Torchic up with my trunk and set her on my back.

“Hold on,” I said, before running full tilt towards the waterfall.

We emerged on the other side of the water into a damp cave.

“Looks like we’re all alive,” I said.

“I could’ve made the jump myself,” muttered Torchic.

Cyndaquil shook himself dry like a dog. “The Echo Chamber is supposed to be in the deepest part of the dungeon, right? It sounds straightforward enough.”

Now that he was drier, the fire on Cyndaquil’s back came to life. Cyndaquil took the lead, his fire serving as our only source of light. The narrow grey passage at the entrance of the dungeon swiftly widened into a large cavern.

Cyndaquil abruptly stopped. “There’s a Psyduck up ahead.”

“I’ll handle it,” I said.

I charged towards the Psyduck as quietly as a stampeding elephant could. It turned towards me and cocked its head. I slammed into the Psyduck, launching it through the air. It plummeted into the darkness with a bewildered expression on its face. I waited a few seconds, but couldn’t hear the Psyduck hit the ground.

Cyndaquil came up next to me. “You really handled him.” Cyndaquil pulled the rope out of my bag and tied it around himself.

“What’s that for?” I asked.

“Rope team,” said Torchic. “The only path around the pit is pretty narrow, so we’re anchoring the team to you.”

Cyndaquil tied the rope around the rest of us. “You better not fall, Phanpy.”

The four of us inched our way along the edge of the chasm. I carefully followed Cyndaquil and Torchic. If I slipped, everyone else would follow after me. I heard Totodile shout a curse from behind me. An instant later I felt the rope around me go taut.

“You still alive, Totodile?” I asked.

“All good!” called Totodile.

“Just get over here, Phanpy!” said Torchic. “You two are almost on the other side!”

I picked my way towards Cyndaquil’s light. When I was back on solid ground, I wrapped my trunk around the rope connecting me and Totodile and hauled Totodile back up from the chasm.

Totodile staggered up to me and wrapped his arms around my neck. “For a second there, I thought I was a goner!”

“If you were sober,” I said, “you probably wouldn’t have fallen.”

Totodile nodded in agreement, then stepped back from me to take another shot from one of the bottles he kept in his bandolier.

Cyndaquil untied the rope and stuffed it into my bag. “You know, I never thought about how dangerous it would be to explore a cave when half of your team doesn’t have hands.”

“And one of them’s drunk,” I said.

As we descended further into the cave, the grey stone walls began to host small inclusions of crystals. They reflected the light of Cyndaquil’s back fire and glittered in many shades of blues, pinks, greens, and yellows.

“If only we brought a pickaxe,” said Cyndaquil.

“It’s good we didn’t,” I said. “I bet we’d find a way to collapse the cave on ourselves.”

The cave twisted and turned, narrowed and widened until we finally opened up into a large chamber. The crystals embedded in the cave walls had only increased in frequency during our trek. By the time we were entering the chamber it felt like walking out of a kaleidoscope. Every surface of the chamber was eerily smooth. More crystals were set into the walls of the chamber, but they lay flush with the stone, preserving the smooth surface.

“Is this it?” asked Torchic.

The four of us walked through the chamber, our footsteps echoing around at us.

“Let’s test it,” Cyndaquil cleared his throat and began singing. “We’re no strangers to love!”

Echoes of his voice returned to us in a discordant chorus.

“Very jazzy,” I said.

“I kind of like it!” said Totodile. He began warbling along with Cyndaquil. “You know the rules, and so do I!”

We performed a lap of the cave, looking for any exits to the Echo Chamber. There was a small tunnel in the floor, and a more reasonably sized passageway that was completely underwater. Neither of them seemed like good options.

Torchic peered down the dry tunnel “I could probably fit through there.”

“People die like that,” I said.

“I’m the fifth the size of an adult human, it’ll be fine! Just tie the rope to me, and you three can pull me out! Worst case scenario, you three can go back to town and get an escape orb!”

Cyndaquil took the rope back out of my bag. The two of us exchanged glances. Cyndaquil tied one end of the rope around Torchic, and handed me the other end. Torchic took a deep breath, then plunged head first into the tunnel.

A few minutes passed in silence.

“Guys,” said Torchic, “I think I’m stuck.”

I tugged on the rope.

“Stop! Stop!” shouted Torchic. “It feels like you’ll rip my wings off!”

Cyndaquil took off his backpack and began looking through it.

Torchic continued talking. “Is it too much to ask for this stupid body to be good at anything? To be anything besides worthless dead weight?”

“You’re not worthless,” said Totodile.

“Really?” asked Torchic. “What have I contributed to our jobs? You and Phanpy do all of the fighting. I can barely even walk by myself!”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Cyndaquil. “It doesn’t matter if you can’t walk, or if you can’t fight. You don’t have to be able to do everything. We’re a team, and that means covering for each other’s weaknesses.”

Cyndaquil handed me a bottle of olive oil. It looked expensive. I stuck my trunk as far down the tunnel as I could and emptied the bottle.

“But that’s the problem, I’m not covering for any-” Torchic paused. “What is this?”

“Olive oil,” said Cyndaquil. “Don’t tell the guild's chef. And sure, maybe you aren’t doing anything right now, but it’s only our second job. At least give yourself a month before giving up.”

I began gently pulling on the rope again. The oil provided enough lubrication to pull Torchic free. Her feathers were slick with oil, and she smelt strongly of olives.

Totodile approached her with a worried expression. “Are you okay?”

Torchic sat down with her back to the cave wall and closed her eyes. “Just give me a minute to think.”

The three of us walked over to the flooded passageway.

I handed Totodile the key Goodra gave us. “I guess you’re up.”

Totodile nodded, then dove into the water.

As soon as Totodile was underwater, Cyndaquil whispered to me. “Hey, do you think Torchic will be alright?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I should have done something sooner. She’s been feeling like that since at least our first mission.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. We’re all a bit on the spectrum in this guild. Most of what I said was stolen from an anime I watched.”

I snorted. “And here I was, about to give you credit for something.”

Totodile resurfaced. “I found the treasure chest, but…” Totodile set the key on the cavern floor. “I don’t want to touch any of the treasure.”

Cyndaquil tossed Totodile the rope. “Buying this was the smartest thing we’ve ever done.”

Cyndaquil held one end of the rope while Totodile swam back to Goodra’s treasure with the other end. Once Totodile tied the rope around the chest, he swam back to us to help pull. With the three of us, it took much less effort than I expected to drag Goodra’s treasure chest to the surface. Cyndaquil picked up the key and popped the chest open. Totodile averted his eyes.

The chest was full of plushies.

Well worn plushies.

Well worn plushies with suspiciously placed holes.

I slammed the chest shut. “We can tie the chest to my back. I doubt it weighs that much.”

“It all makes sense,” said Cyndaquil. “Why he hid this. Why he wants it now that he’s divorced.”

“And why he looked for you to do the job,” I said.

Totodile and Cyndaquil picked up the treasure chest and placed it on my back. Totodile held the chest in place while Cyndaquil tied it to me. The chest was surprisingly light, since it only contained stuffed animals. What weighed heavily on me was the knowledge of what those plushies had been through, and what they would go through when we got back to Capim Town.

Torchic was still sitting where we had left her. “Good. You guys found it.”

I nodded. “It’d be best if you didn’t see the treasure. It isn’t worth all the trouble we went through.”

“You can’t just say that and expect me not to be curious.”

“The treasure is sex toys,” said Cyndaquil. “Well, plushies that were used as sex toys.”

Torchic got to her feet. “I’m going to fucking kill that Goodra.”

We got back to Capim Town sometime in the evening. The Blue Claw Inn was packed, ensuring none of the staff would be watching the dumpster behind the inn. Cyndaquil held the dumpster open while Totodile and I threw Goodra’s treasure in.

“Good riddance,” said Torchic.

Cyndaquil dusted off his hands. “All’s well that ends well. And the night is still young! If you guys want to join me, I’ll be off in search of new lands to conquer!”

Totodile nodded. “If only we weren’t banned from the Inn…”

Cyndaquil put a hand on Totodile’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m sure, between the two of us, we can find somewhere to drink.” Cyndaquil looked at me and Torchic. “Are you two coming with?”

“I’ll pass,” I said. “We have work tomorrow.”

“What I want to do,” said Torchic, “is to wash the smell of olives out of my feathers. After that, I need Phanpy’s help with something.”

“Suit yourselves,” said Cynaquil. “Just don’t expect us to be back until the wee hours of the morning!”

Our group split in half as we left the alley behind the Blue Claw Inn. Totodile and Cyndaquil wandered off into town while Torchic and I went back to the guild. The Guildmaster was waiting for us in the lobby, sitting in a comfortable looking chair.

“So,” said the Guildmaster, “how was Waterfall Cave? I haven’t had a chance to visit the Echo Chamber yet.”

“It was beautiful,” said Torchic. “We had a lovely sightseeing trip.”

Guildmaster Meowstic sighed. “You don’t have to lie to me. I know you four were freelancing.”

“What we do with our days off is none of your concern.”

“It isn’t,” said the Guildmaster. “And as much as I try to get Phanpy to take a vacation, I know I can’t force any of the guild members to do anything. I’m not here to reprimand you. I’m here to ask you four to work with Eevee and Riolu for your next few outings. I believe your teams are already familiar with each other, is that correct?”

“Yes sir,” I said.

The Guildmaster stood up. “Good. Hopefully sending those two with you will convince the rest of the guild that you four won’t burn down another forest. Maybe you can also keep Eevee out of the clinic for a few days.”

The Guildmaster walked towards the stairs, then stopped and turned back to us. “And one more thing. Please tell Totodile and Cyndaquil to stop stealing from the kitchen. Chef Beast was quite furious.”

After Torchic finished cleaning herself, she took me to the same rooftop we visited when we first arrived in Capim town. Torchic had gotten one of the guild members with opposable thumbs to tie pillows to her with a length of rope. I had the free end of the rope wrapped around my trunk.

"I thought you were our voice of reason," I said.

Torchic rolled her eyes. "Maybe compared to the drunk and the perv.”

"If you fail, the rope just means you're going to slam into the side of the building," I said.

"Well, yeah, I know that. That's what the pillows are for," said Torchic.

"I don't think you've thought this through."

"It's easiest to learn from our failures. Get ready, I'm going to jump."

Torchic broke into a sprint towards the edge of the roof. She leapt out into the open air, her tiny wings flapping wildly. Like a rock, she plummeted towards the earth. I heard a thud, then Torchic’s groans of pain.

“Phanpy!” shouted Torchic. “Pull me back up!”

I pulled on the rope, dragging the flightless bird back up to the rooftop. The feathers on one side of her face were ruffled from where she hit the building.

“Told you so,” I said.

Torchic flopped onto the rooftop. “It’s only natural that I wouldn’t get it on my first try.”

“I don’t think Torchic can learn to fly.”

“There’s gotta be something I can use these wings for. Why else would I have them?”

Torchic took a moment to psyche herself up before jumping off of the roof again. I watched her plummet off the edge of the building.

When I heard her slam into the wall again, I began pulling her back up. "Maybe your wings are vestigial, like an appendix.”

"Torchic didn't evolve naturally,” said Torchic, “someone designed them this way."

"Have you ever read the Pokedex entries? I wouldn’t say most Pokemon were designed to be real animals."

"Shut up."

Torchic made another attempt to fly. I waited for her to hit the side of the building. It didn't seem like she was making much progress.

I sighed as I reeled her in. "I know he usually just spouts nonsense, but Cyndaquil was right. You don't have to be able to do everything yourself. You can rely on us."

Torchic puffed up her chest. "It isn't about that, it's about trying to fly! Doesn't everyone dream of flying up in the clouds? I just want to feel the wind beneath my wings!"

"We both know that's a lie. Since you arrived at the guild in Treasure Town, I have never once seen you try to fly."

Torchic deflated. “His speech was nice, but what do you expect? Would it have worked on you? If I told you that you were useful because we were your friends, would that nagging voice in your head be satisfied?”

“No, it wouldn’t, but…” I trailed off. “But we are a team. If you have a problem, we can help you.”

“I could say the same to you,” said Torchic. “You don’t have to push yourself so hard, trying to do everything yourself. When are you going to open up to the team and get your talking to from Cyndaquil?”

“I don’t want to talk about it with the whole team,” I said, “it feels a little too personal.”

“And that’s how I feel about this. If I didn’t need someone to hold the rope, I would’ve been trying to fly by myself.”

“Well, why not keep this between us then?” I asked. “You already told me, so I can help you find something only you can do for the team.”

“Fine, but on one condition,” said Torchic. “You have to let me help you in return. Not just when you overwork yourself, but when you feel worthless.”

“Deal.”

Torchic walked back over to the edge of the rooftop. “Good. Then let’s get back to practicing. Get ready, I’m gonna get another running start.”

I stopped Torchic before she could jump. “This time,” I said, “how about I lower you down slowly?"

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Pub: 08 May 2023 05:41 UTC
Views: 725