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Last night I went to see the film Little Jerusalem (La Petite Jerusalem) by Karin Albou. This French fiml is set in suburban Paris and tells the story of a forbidden love between an Orthodox Jewish woman and an Algerian Muslim man.
Both families initially reject their relationship and each questions their feelings for each other. Their love is forbidden yet it somehow seems to find a way to blossom. It is a total heterosexual version of Brokeback Mountain sans cowboys and with a religious twist. Both of these films carry a similar theme...love can be tragic, sad and forbidden. I
In this modern day it seems we can get anything at anytime. Cyber sex, 24 hour fast food, online gambling and shopping. Yet millions of us cannot seem to find love…or the road to happy love is littered with emotional and physical roadblocks. This got me thinking....can love blossom despite of all the barriers?
My friend Sam believes that love can move mountains. He was in love once but now seems to find it elusive. The main barriers are distance and the emotional unavailability of gay men. “With online dating, I tend to find amazing guys that I click with but who are thousands of miles away,” he says. Sam also admits that gay men have issues when it comes to commitment and intimacy. Sex does not necessarily mean intimacy or love in the gay world.
Being in the closet can be a huge barrier to love. I remember dating a few guys that were in the closet. We would often bump into his friends or work colleagues. Hiding our relationship and always being paranoid about being outed killed any type of intimacy. Being who you are and loving yourself will allow others to do the same.
Families can be huge barriers. Just like the film, many familles do not approve of gay relationships. Sometimes, you must chose between your boyfriend or your family.
Emotions and fear of rejection are huge barriers to love. I for one…I am totally scared of getting hurt and putting my emotions and heart out there. Yes, my emotional baggage does not fit in my overhead compartment. I fall for guys who live in different continents and who are emotionally unavailable. I’m also cynical and I think that I would not see love if it him me in the face.
So what is the answer? I have nue clue...I was actually hoping for some some tips. All I know is we need to start getting rid of all the barriers around us. We are isolating ourselves from love and life....we use our cars, our offices, our flats, our ipods…we need to feel the love. Sam is right…love can move mountains!