Trigger Warnings: Mentions of sex and sexual attraction.

This page is a two-in-one, having both SCP-9033 and SCP-9034.


Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-9033 is to be contained far from the public, especially from those who are in a relationship. Irk is to be locked in a large cube, about 30m x 30m x 30m, with the walls being made out of soft concrete. Irk is to be provided with a drawing tablet, a phone (with access to Tumblr and communication apps only) and things essential to the livelihood of the usual human being. Irk is also to be checked for any mental and physical health issues every two months, and the doctors (and anybody that interacts with irks) must identify with any label in the aromantic spectrum.
On the topic of who must interact with irk, SCP-9034 is allowed to interact with them unless the two are in the same room. Additionally, irk must be put as far away as they can from any entity under the Little Misters™ list.
Description:
SCP-9033 is a humanoid individual with long yellow hair and slightly red skin. Irk has no identifiable ethnicity due to irk's confusing physical nature. On top of that, irk doesn't have a distinguishable gender, however, refer to irkself with either they/them or irk/irkself pronouns. Furthermore, irk also uses the names Ms. DYLL, Ms. 'Destroy Your Love Life' and Ms. Hatred.
SCP-9033's anomalous properties come in place when irk comes near a romantic couple. Irk has the ability to deplete the couple's romantic attraction for each other (or entirely), making them either break up or look confused as to why they are near a random person. This can affect as many couples as there are near them. Irk has expressed dislike (to say the least) towards love in a romantic way, thus why they have such ability.
Although they feel such towards romantic attraction, irk doesn't seem to feel the same about any other attraction (tertiary or otherwise). In fact, they seem to be much more favorable towards platonic and sexual attraction, feeling it mostly towards their 'Friend With Benefits', also known as SCP-9034.



Special Containment Procedures:
Much like SCP-9033, SCP-9034 is also locked in a large cube provided with the same items. However, in the walls, there must be four hidden reality anchors on the walls to keep the anomaly from affecting any researchers and doctors that check up on him. He, as well as anyone that comes in contact with him, is to be given psychedelics on a daily basis, as well as Class C amnestics.
Description:
SCP-9034 is a stubby north american male with curly brown hair. He refers to himself as Mr. Bonus, because it reminds him of his old dog, Bones. He has nothing to do with bonuses.
SCP-9034's anomalous properties come into place when someone gets in his line of view. He is able to control and form hallucinations, and these can be as extreme and long as the lad wants, thus why he is given amnestics every time someone tells him about a traumatic event. He, however, doesn't use his ability for wrongdoings most of the time. It is mostly for his own entertainment, like how he did when he made SCP-999 think it was the president.


<ADDENDUM 1>
The two left alone in the same room, being separated by a glass wall.
Mr. Bonus "Stop drawing on the walls..."
Ms. DYLL Aggressivelly writing "NOT ONE OF THEM" on the walls.
Mr. Bonus "Dyll. Get your ass down on that chair."
Ms. DYLL "Can't you SEE I'm being MYSELF?!" Aggressively writing things against amatonormativity.
Mr. Bonus "You're writing too many things about too many groups!"
Ms. DYLL "IT MAKES ME OVERSTIMULATED!!"
Mr. Bonus "It makes you overwhelmed! There's a difference!"
Ms. DYLL "..." Stops writing, sitting back down "...Whatever. Hallucinate me a cigarette..."
Mr. Bonus Does so "That's better."
Ms. DYLL Smoking the imaginary cigarette "...So, what now."
Mr. Bonus "Chill, for once. You know I can't handle seeing my B.F.F like this."
Ms. DYLL "I can't chill! I'm THE Ms. Hatred!"
Mr. Bonus "You can. You were much calmer before we were found. It's not even that bad in here. Not that much worse from that shithole of a house we lived in..."
Ms. DYLL "I can't live like this! I can't handle being constantly paired with that 'Ms. Sweetie' girl! I fucking hate her, Shannon!"
Mr. Bonus "First of all, don't call me that. Second of all, you need to start standing up for yourself in situations like these."
Ms. DYLL "What do you expect me to do in such an arophobic space?!"
Mr. Bonus "...Make people aromantic? Dyll, that's your main ability! Use it for good! God!"
Ms. DYLL "...Ah. You're so smart, you know?"
Mr. Bonus "Thank you." Stops the hallucination
Ms. DYLL "HEY! I was using that!"

not one of them.
Please forget about that crosstest. Just... Forget about it. It was all a bad idea to begin with— Seriously.

Edit
Pub: 10 Apr 2025 12:28 UTC
Edit: 10 Apr 2025 21:49 UTC