hi. i'm xenette/reux/rue/ruth/whatever you know me as.
i'm 20, an intersex transnullfem womxn/womyn and an aroacespec lesbian. i have a bunch of microlabels i use, but i don't really think you want to be reading this all day.
I do not see myself as having an age, as I am plural and see "my body" & myself as two separate entities. The age is the body's age. I do not have one, as do many other alters. They might have age ranges, but do not treat them strictly as that age. Treat me and the collective as ageless or do not talk to/about us at all.
i "struggle" with c-did (polyfrag? also questioning ramcoa/programming) , adult antisocial behavior (aspd but you didn't have a cd diagnosis as a kid, i will use aspd as a label as well because there's literally no reasonable difference to make me not do it), borderline personality disorder, something on the schizospec, autism, adhd, and a bunch of other shit. i am physically , mentally and neurologically disabled. this can and does affect my ability to interact with others "properly." (in the saneist way some think i'm obligated to oblige to because they're a little bitch.)
i am extremely prone to persecutory delusions and paranoia. reassurance hardly does anything. if you reality check or encourage me, you die of the bubonic plague in three business days.
it's pointless anyways, and will only lead me to isolate myself. unless you're someone i specifically said has the permission me out of it when i get too deep, don't fucking do it. you're not helping, you're being an asshole, and you're only going to make it worse.
I am aware, to an extent, of the delusions. I can eventually point out how I am being way too guarded. If you think I'm hounding you or being skeptical, it is not on purpose. I see everyone as having ulterior motives. You're not special, you never will be.
i am also entirely hypoempathetic. i do not feel what i would consider emotional empathy, and my sympathy is extremely selective or non-existent. i am apathetic to almost everything unless it directly affects me.
originality isn't real, don't claim i am copying you. everything has been done before and is being done now. congratulations , that's how time and existence works!!! stop being insecure, i am not responsible for your feelings and am tired of having to cater to those who i am not sure even exist. I might take inspiration from you, but I'm not fucking crediting. Once again, you are not special. Thanksies.
i don't know or care if i'm in some sort of psychotic state 24/7. maybe i am, but this has been my normal for my entire life.
i do not get along well with my headmates, and we bicker. i don't care how you feel about that, it's not sunshine and rainbows for us, and i'm not watering myself down for you.
i am a primarily selective sharing / nonsharing yumejxshi/riako. it's long. some of these are alter specific, some are collective.
you can find my f/o list here.
don't involve me in discourse. i don't care what some random is doing with their life, it doesn't directly affect me. i do not care about how a label upsets you. i don't care how that piece of dark fiction is " wrong " (right and wrong are NOT real, objective things by the way) or how that queer individual's identity "mocks" you (others identities don't mock you, you're just insecure.) take what you want from that, hit dogs holler. block me if you're so offended and keep my name out of your mouth afterwards. i normally don't argue my case because i see my opinions as common sense due to being extremely opinionated.
please don't use tone tags on me unless we're close. they make me feel infantilized. i will use them on you if you ask, but not before then.
however, i will probably explain in a few sentences what i meant. i'm sorry my accomodation needs vary from yours and possibly conflict. that's unfortunately how life works. you will live, because that's a stupid thing to die over.
I might come off as harsh or cold, on occasion. Please note that I very likely can and will see that I'm being unfair, and apologize adequately afterwards.