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⏖ ʚ𝜚 sporadic updates
direct. ⠀⠀♱ ⠀。
21.4.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀daily affirmations
- im not crazy
- i should crash out
- its not my fault
- im cute
- im the best
- everyone loves me
- my mood swings make me hot
18.4.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀im so sick of my uglyass sharpeners bro i gotta lock in and get prettier blades.
nso kinda mid
4.4.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀very Excited to escape the Torture labyrinth today.
26.3.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀Not Going To Lie its kinda strange seeing actual 13 yr olds self-diagnosing with like 3 different personality disorders. which might be a little pot/kettle of me but yk. highly unlikely that every 13-15yo claiming to have bpd is aware of the difference between actual symptoms of a debilitating disorder and regular mood swings due to the very real disease of being a 15yo. what can u do i guess.
25.3.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀a big bowl of pasta could probably fix me
21.3.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀got 20 million tests and assignments due in the next two weeks and rentryblock is gonna kill me. Fuck.
11.3.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀some of you guys need to get a fucking grip.
8.3.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀finished my tshd rentry i might be actually proud of it. HaHaHa !
6.3.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀most days i dont even feel real i feel like im this parasite pretending to be a person. everything i do has to be on some level for attention and the impression i want to make and if i dont get the type of attention i want its like something in my brain blocks me from doing it nothing i do is ever fully genuine and i dont even know what "genuine" is to me i always feel like someones watching me and im being forced to perform. every reaction or emotion feels calculated and delibrate to me and i have no clue what i actually want or feel and im just manipulating everyone into feeling bad for me
27.2.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀kinda fucked up that god decided i had to keep all this shit to myself bc i know they wld be disgusted and stop talking to me if i ever told them abt my lore. like who told him to do that. fuck off man.
um. on a lighter note why is there still fujo discourse in the big 25. they are the backbone of our society they keep the most obscure fandoms alive with the power of yaoi they are literally angels sent down from the heavens.
21.2.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀tbh the hierarchy ive created in my head gets so fucked up sometimes bc most of the time it goes smt like me > ppl i like ≥ 'cool ppl' > everyone else. yet sometimes i'll remember that i hate myself more than anyone else i like, but if thats the case then shouldnt i be below everyone else? i dislike a lot of people but it's rarely on the same level that i have for myself, which directly contradicts my general view on others. like shouldnt i hate everyone else more than myself? whatever man. bleuafrgh. aurjgfh. npdemons fucking me up tonight.
writing this at least helped me sort out my thoughts a little ig #Healing thumbs up emoji
20.2.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀the first thing i ate today was half a can of pringles at 6pm i feel phenomenal ive seen god also ive been hallucinating a lot more and i feel super weak all the time????? i might be cooked.
i keep tricking myself into thinking all my friends hate me and then relapsing only to find out they were actually just busy this is literally so embarrassing. Bye.
14.2.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀i fucking hate valentines day and everyone who says i "shouldnt have an issue with it" even if im aro. i dont really care if you think i can still celebrate other forms of love when everyone is hellbent on making the entire day about romance and im getting shoved in the face with it the whole day. amatonormativity will be my n1 enemy forever.
this vday im going to start killing and eating people. #loveloses.
12.2.25⠀⠀—⠀⠀new revamp #Yassssss. also had some rly good tangyuan today life is worth it again.
reset the diary bc some things are TOO embarassing to stay on here. good golly.