if you're reading this, chance i'm gone
there's a lot of things i wish i could say. maybe i'll list them here. because i wouldn't be judged if there wasn't anyone to judge, right? this has been sitting here for a while. i only updated it today to add a few things.
there's someone in my life that i love with my soul. someone i wanted to hold for eternity, but even eternity wasn't long enough. the someone i wanted to be beside me for as long as i could exist. i love this person. they stayed. everyone else didn't. the feelings grew. but i knew, i could never have them. lots of things prevented me from saying that. i knew i could never say these things. wuss, i know. but it was better that way, that they didn't know.
i love this person. nothing could stop me from loving them, throw up a wall and i'll climb over it to get to them. to speak to them. to laugh with them. to enjoy the simplest peace with them. to cry with them. i love them. i loved other people, but never had i loved someone as much as them.
now, i'll leave it up to interpretation whether these feelings were romantic or not. maybe it's obvious, maybe it isn't. but that's okay. because they would know who this is directed to. who i'm talking about. it's better off, not saying it.
everything hurts so much more the more i think about it. why am i doing this? isn't there other reasons? doesn't feel like it. i need to find my own peace. and it starts with saying my words from the heart. maybe i'll wake up. maybe i won't.
i want to sleep forever. these were the words i want to say to the one person i've never loved more. and i'm content with it. they call me a dreamer - well, i dreamed of you.
it's my time. was this too early? i don't know. i thought i had more time than this. but time moves faster than everyone thinks.