"you're using your autism as an excuse!!"

i get this all the time. so i want to explain a few things about this statement and how i respond to it. this is a rant:: simply because it happens so much.

for context: i have autism and i was diagnosed at 14 years old (even though i was already suspected as i turned 3). autism is a neurological disorder and classified as a mental disability that affects how people communicate, learn, behave, and interact with others (as taken from a trusted source).

autism can change how a person may react to certain situations, and i want to preface this by saying that it is completely out of that person's control. sure, they can work on it if you tell them to, but there is no instance where a neurodivergent person will intend for their autistic behaviours to be a hassle, in fact, many autistic people worry about becoming one and so they distance themselves from others and refuse to socialise (including me.)

many people, majority of them being allistic (non-autistic people) will claim that an autistic person is using their autism as an excuse to "get away" with behaviours that may have triggered somebody else. i also want to butt in by saying that whether or not a person is autistic, they should be held accountable. it is definitely possible for somebody to blame their autism, but most of the time, these people are simply trying to explain why they did it. and why? because they have a neurological disability that causes them to act in certain ways.

it is completely okay to explain why you did something so long as you take accountability for the consequences that it brought: in fact it can even help. in scenarios where you do hurt someone's feelings, it could be important to that person to explain your train of thought so they dont take it as malicious. allistic people take this as an autistic person trying to shuffle their way out of consequence by saying that they cant help it. but they literally cant. again, i will say that it's possible to try your best, but it will never be promised. they did not choose to have autism or the symptoms that abide by it, and they can't promise you that they will act normal.

in fact, this statement is rooted in ableism.

saying that somebody is using their autism as an excuse is not only gaslighting their own experiences with having autism but expecting them to act "normal". like a "normal" person would. instead of saying this, you could say: "hey, i think you might be missing the point" or "i understand, but you still hurt somebody" to help that individual understand where you are coming from. remember that they cant control some of the things they do.

and responding with something like "im very sorry, i really did not intend for that to happen." is a good way to consider that persons feelings. maybe asking, "can i explain?" or simply explaining your viewpoint can show that person that it was an accident. them saying that you're standing behind your disability is disgusting.

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Pub: 24 Jan 2025 18:46 UTC
Views: 81