Yᴏᴜ ғᴇᴇʟ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴡ, ᴀɴᴅ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ

Redo࿓ 3/9/26
I've decided to rework the diary. For no particular reason other than I wanted to. I think I looked back at the things I wrote and I guess I just didn't like it. I think there was something wrong with me a year and two ago. Overly dramatic and obsessive over stupid shit. I've realized overtime that I worried too much about negative perception. It's weird and paradoxical because I simultaneously dont care and do care. I dont care if people perceiving me as a bad person out of nowhere is a big deal. But if I actually do something bad, and suffer the consequences of it by being called out for that, then I feel the need to overcorrect my behavior. Whatever. I am not the same person I was whatever time ago.

bubbles

Cereal...࿓ "7:10pm
My favorite cereal is Krave. The original flavor. The double chocolate one is alright too but its not my favorite. I quite like old people cereal like Raisin Bran and Honey Nut Cheerio, too. Right now, I'm eating Reese's Puffs. They have an interesting texture. Its not bad.

waves

What I feel࿓ 5/7/26
If I'm being honest, I constantly feel like an AI. It's something that's hard to put into words because AI can't "feel" and yet here I am feeling a certain way. Sometimes I feel that that I "feel" things based on what is most probable. I should feel a certain way because that is what is expected of me. Sometimes I feel so complacent to any particular situation that I feel like I am only responding what I am expected to respond with. AI tends to tell you what you might want to hear at a reasonable time. Very rarely do I feel that I am capable of identifying my emotions and when I do, who can I tell? Everyone has so much going on with their own lives, when can I share what's going on with mine? It's to the point where I might even avoid complications to avoid having a "story" to tell later. I have such trouble expressing how I feel, that as I'm rereading my own writing, I am not satisfied with how I've portrayed it, like maybe I'm missing something, or I'm not explaining it well enough, or that I'm not cohesive enough. I feel like pseudo-intelligence.

waves

Slowness࿓ 5/24/26

I am convinced I cannot have difficult conversations. My slowness is treated as an inconvenience even if I am told it's not. My slowness is treated as an intentional malicious act done to harm people, or lead them on, or mess with them. I feel so retarded. Someone gripped my brain and tore it to disgusting pieces. I can't tell anyone, because it would be too late.

Uɴғᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ, sᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘᴜᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢʀᴏᴡ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏғ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ

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Pub: 03 Jun 2024 21:20 UTC

Edit: 25 May 2026 23:47 UTC

Views: 1459