omg i have a few inboxes (literally 2) (from the same fucking person im not a celebirty) (i will not respond aside from one) but i went to look at tetratto out of nostalgia and
NO I DID NOT ENCOURAGE SOMEWHAT TO HARM? THEMSELVES?
this is the first post i saw about it... so i am very shocked
(i did not make a new account to look on tetratto, i had an old tab open on my phone and looked in the search for any mention of me, i hope this isnt against the rules, which if it is FUCK i sincerely apologize but i had already done it and i looked for merely around 2 minutes as not that many people talked about me. i dont even think i can make a new account because i was banned)
/man dont read this part its reallt bad i need to revise it skip red text/ I told them they could use stim toys primarily pain stim toys such as that one cylinder yk with the spiky parts.. i said it horribly and it got horribly misinterpreted. I appealed and they said “Thank you for appealing but sorry that was very innapropriate as they were obviously unwell and posted about harming themselves as well as suicide." i (personally) never saw the suicide posts but i agree with the sentiment and i should have not said anything at all. I would seriously never encourage anyone to harm themselves as i myself struggl with suicidal ideation as well as general depression (gif of emo emoji blowing hair) i obviously cannot prove myself because i got ip banned. omg i jus
I remember what i said actually i termed it as "harm reduction" and i believe i fucking butchered the term so it looks like im saying "hey go do this worse thing because its better blah blah blah" (i am not good at explaining so this is not satirical.) when in reality i was like you cant harm yourself you can do something else
by their words, "There is no encouraging somebody to self harm safely or in a less painful way. You tell them to stop." which was not my intention i feel horrible that i was seen in this light
or maybe im stupid and thats exactly what i said. im thinking back and im like wait what did i say that? does this constitute as telling someone to harm themselves (but less painfully?) i (personally) use the thing myself but for when i am stressed or when im caffeinated/on meds (unpleasant experience) and it grounds me and i also enjoy the sensory feeling. its just enough so that i dont think about other things such as ripping my hair our (tamest example) so i recommended it, i am not everyone so mayhaps it isnt the same for evveryone

(not my image)
err dont care if you believe me or not, but i would profoundly prefer if you did, as i find it repulsing to even think of someone encouraging self mutilation?
unimportantif you really wanna talk or see me talk to me ar @theviperyesod on tiktok. < im still a very distant person so 50/50 i respond. I also am just bad at maintaining contact with people
Also when i appelaed they said like no hard feelings which made me feel better but yeah i did something reallt stupid and bad and i shouldnt have this is not my apology as i already extensively apolgiized via email i feel as if its not enough and in the nearby future i will make a revised apology which is more serious 2x this is not my apology this is like, me explaining what hapened (from my perspective)
I might use '
my account (alterspirng) But i dont want to? i only liked tetratto tbh
Umm umm more yap.. nothing much, i just like talking! i really do (did) enjoy tetratto you guys were really cool and yeahstuff i think its good that i got banned, i was pretty depressed and ii had a burner where i was just negative all the time (private) and i sort of just stewed in my misery, it also just felt like a sort of echo chamber tbh. i would love to come back and if i did i probably wouldnt use it as much/be private as i have a life now (didnt before) and also the mods are scary i dont want to know what they potentionally.think of me.. i remember one of them said something about me being disgusting for what i said and i went NOOO NOO PLEASYOU READ IT SOO WRONG OHMY GOD OMG FHFHRHRGRHHJ but in a worried and confused and distressed tone (this is not an exaggeration i actually bawled my eyes out for a solid hour after i got banned LMFAOOO)
Banned > what happened > is it a glitch? > omg im banned > wtf why :( > find out why > cry > try to explain > berate myself because i wasnt the victim in the situation and that was not smart (do i count as a pepretator?) > leave appeal to rot because i suspect i am irremdimable > pretend like nothing happened and try to forget about tet (which i obviously couldnt)
it felt like a tabboo looking back at tetratto its like i got exiled. like "damn im not supposed to be here" but i did and the results SHOCKED me..! (Please do not get mad at me anyone for looking when i was ip banned i wanted to see if anybody was worried about me or missed me or if anybody talked about it literlly at all) i went and like woah guys where did you get that from? i can logically understand how you come to that conclusion but one of the people i talked to (a moderate amount) and they saw (a moderate amount) of the things i posted and dont you think its out of character for someone like me? well actually i dont know. i cannot get a graph of their personality in my brain so they probably cant either. i mean i dont know if the mods posted furhter about it but yeah thats pretty much it.
tldr: horribly misinterpreted (in my eyes) i was being innapropriate for the situation as it was a serious matter, ban justified (hopefully lifted?.. in the forseeable future? in the appeal they said 'cannot be appealed at this time' whixh makes me very hopeful now that i look back and i sort of cried happy tears right now but im a big wuss so im not sayinf anyt)ing inless its confirmed$
and i i really badly want forgiveness so i can stop thinkinf about this all togeyher but that wouldnt even lift everything else cause now its like 'if they say they forgive me n its all good theyr eprolly lying' and i dont even know to be honest. i dont know if i am forgivable or if anything is redeemable. i view what i did as profoundly bad like to thepoint i deserve cancellation, i dserve to be shunned and i promise you i am not trying to fish for sympathy points this is from my heart. i dont know how to prove it but i promise you i dont want sympathy or anything i dont wanr anything at all other than forgiveness!!!! and to be reassured on wether or not it was profoundly extremely bad or not
and i dont know what to do with myself as i dont really have much to distract myself with anymore, this is bery silly coming from me (mood lightenation)
oh if youre a mod and seeing this (=prolly not) do not say that or anything and if its bad news just let me be hopeful and believe i have a chance in th future pls.... and if its good news tell me good news tell me, if its bad news let me delude myself
honestly i needed to make this and get it off my chest because this has genuinelt been carving a hoole into my heart and brain i have felt so very guilty like i have Nightmares of being percieved so messed up
why didnt you make it sooner if ur so guilty
i am not the most mature person youll meet, i did not know how to approach it and didnt know where and how to say anything so i sort of just ran away, which i didnt (really) but i just avoided thinking about it all together.. sort of bargaining (i think), more of denial,, its not that serious (for me, it is profoundly serious for everybody else. as for me it is just a website where i did something profoundly innapropriate and disturbing, stupid and morbid) but as i write i feel like a burden is being lifted off my chest tbh, if the people that i want to see this see this then i feel like ill be free in a way? i dont want to be memorialized as the person who told somebody to kys when i didnt, and i especially dont want to be seen that way to people i really admired and liked like somebody said you cant trust anybody on this site err.. im trustworthy i promise hhhhhhh
..!!!!
i hope everybody involved is okay ESPECIALLY the aforementioned suicidal person who needed help. i am bad with words like i said but i hope theyve gotten the right help they need and hopefully therapy (if they can afford it)