NO OH MY GOD I DID NOT MAKE THIS SPED GF IM LITERALLY AUTISTIC!!!!!!!!! IT WAS SUPPSOED TO BR SHIZOID PERSONALOITY DISORDER (no none of the peolple i know have that camden does not have that please leave me alone tumblr anons)


hi cam (^▽^) you're offline and i'm bored. so i want to write since its kind of been a while since i've made a letter for you (actually its only really been like 3 days or something. but whatever). today wasn't the very best day. for either of us. yesterday too. and i'm sorry about that :( but you can't win them all am i right... anyways, i kind of wanted to write this as comfort? or whatever. i dont really know. im just kind of rambling. i feel kind of better now, so i hope thisll cheer you up too.

you were saying you're not good at helping anyone. i wont go into details because thats kind of private but you know what im talking about right. i just wanted to let you know, YOU DO HELP ME!!! even if im bad at expressing gratitude and stuff, i want you to know that you seriously do get me through every day. especially the really bad ones. you're patient and listen to me and comfort me. you know just what to say to make me feel better. and you tell me that you love me. i know that doesnt sound likr a lot but it seriously is a lot to me .... knowing someone loves me no matter what happens to me and is always willin g to sit with me even when super busy. and even when you're feeling a bit down yourself, you always make sure im okay first!!! im also immensely grateful for that night where you stayed up super late for me ... and that day where you hid in a storage closet so you could keep talking to me. youve done a lot of wild stuff for me, actually. its kind of embarrassing at this point .... but i'm happy you do it for me anyways. because tbh idk where id be without you calming me down on my horrible days. and its not like i force you or anything you just ... do it out of your own free will. even when i insist no, you still stay. you dont do it out of pity or whatever you do it. because you love me. which just. makes me feel really really appreciated. like someone sees me. and you're so confident and brave and stuff while talking to me. i kind of look up to you in a way ... and sometimes, even when you arent saying anything, just you listening is enough. its sort of like. you help me just by existing. like just knowing "hey my girlfrienf camden is around, i can talk to her whenever i feel alone" helps me. (is that weird? maybe. but whatevrr. you get what i mean right...) and i know i act like i dont care about your help sometimes, but i really really do. if you werent there to help me where i was spiraling, id probably be um. dead tbh. because soemtimes you talking to me distracts me from trying to... not be alive. i dont talk about it much but uts true. im not perfect yk. ive attempted. a lot. some more recent than others.

and you said you werent a real girl earlier. and i know i cant change your mind about your own gender. but ive said it before and ill say it again ..... youre usually what you think you arent. if dysphoria is telling you that you arent [thing here] you usually always are that thing. sure, you might have a lot of self-doubt, but at the end of the day, you can choose to hide away that part of yourself and feel even more miserable. OR. you can embarace it, challenges and all, and feel more satisfied with yourself!!! and who cares about what society or the internet says. sure, they might think you arent a girl, but you know what? they arent you!!! they arent camden. only CAMDEN can tell what CAMDEN is. not your friends, not your parents, not random twitter idiots, not even me!!! you're you. not what someone else says or thinks you are. they may not like who you are, and that's sad, yeah, but that shouldnt change your perception of yourself. and someday, you can transition to whatever you want to look like!!! sort of like a fresh start at life. a clean slate!!! like i dont know. customizing your avatar in a game or something.... (this is really bad but pls bear with me) and know ill be with you every step of the way!! no matter what happens, no maytter what people say, ill always support you ^_^ you're the realest girl in my eyes!! and the only girl i want, really. and even if you werent a "real" girl, you still have qualities everyone should have, no matter their gender ( ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ ) uoure smart patient kind awesome cute understanding brave easy to talk to funny and just generally good to me!!! i wouldnt trade you for anyone else. youre the best in my eyes.. i love you a lot. more than anything. and someday, youll see how much i mean it. i promise.

Edit
Pub: 14 May 2024 02:02 UTC
Edit: 17 May 2024 06:22 UTC
Views: 115