Collection of quotes I've gathered over time that make me feel some sort of way
Song version Here rentry hoard 'I wanted to be loved so desperately that my fingers shook with it. I'm not beautiful but I could be.'
'I still repeat the things you said to me in my head.'
'And just like that, we're back to being strangers.'
'You could break my heart into tiny. Little. Pieces. And I'd still pick them up and place them back in your hands.'
'I'm always soft for you, that's the problem. You could come knocking on my door five years later from now and I would open my arms wider and say "come here, it's been too long,, it felt like home with you."
'I am afraid I will love you forever, and we will never be in the same room again.'
Can you tell I haven't slept very well since the last time we spoke?
'Oh, I could call you names now. List a hundred reasons for why you were awful. But what would that do? Where would it leave me? I still loved you.
I still have to live with that.'
I'm scared this is all I will ever be.
They will never know how much I tried.
What if it doesn't get easier like everybody says?
Are you becoming what you've always hated?
Were you disappointed when you got to know me?
I hope loving me isn't the hardest thing anyone has had to do.
'They will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if I love you and I will say no but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh.'
'The truth is, you could slit my throat and with my one last gaping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.'
'To be alive!
Not just the carcass
But the spark.
That's crudely put, but...
If we're not supposed To dance,
Why all this music?'
When you decide to leave my life, please don't slam the door on your way out.
'Know that I loved you. Know that it wasn't enough.'
'And the earth looked at me and said "wasn't that fun?" And I replied, "I'm sorry if I hurt anyone."
'I will stare at you behind tears and bruises and forgive you every time.'
'When you are not fed love on a silver spoon you learn to lick it off knives.'
Maybe you weren't a terrible person maybe you were just fifteen.
It's hard to admit, but I think I'm losing my spark.
'To the girl I was then: I forgive you.'
We went through all that, just to be strangers again.
If I told you I missed you, would you come back?
'I hope my absence haunts you.'
I have done nothing all summer but want for myself to be myself again
I don't think there has been one single moment since I was 13 where I haven't been clenching my jaw
'Do you have any weapons on you?
-- I have a longing that kills me'
I want you to know but I don't want to tell you
Did you ever stop and think whenever you heard people mention my name?
'I may think of you softly from time to time. But I'll cut my hand off before I ever reach for you again.'
Come on, make it easy, say I never mattered.
'I can't tell the difference between growing apart and pushing people away. Either way I am terribly lonely.'
'I have two longings and one was fighting the other. I wanted to be loved, and I wanted to be alone.'
Most times I wonder if this is all I will ever be.
'There is a poem scratched onto the walls of my throat, no one has heard it but it's there.'
What if I'm someone I don't want around?
'I don't think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love.'
As the air gets colder, I do too.
'I am aware, sure, I am aware. Catastrophically aware.'
'I am so tired, I just want to go home, I just want, I am so full of wanting.'
'The worst pain is being homesick for arms that don't want to hold you.'
My body is burning with the shame of not belonging.
'Feel it heavy on your chest, why can't I breathe through this one like all the times before.'
Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief.
I know it will pass, but it's heavy.
'I need a father, I need a mother, I need some older, wiser being to cry to. I talk to God but the sky is empty.'
Of course I'm angry. Do you have any idea how many times someone should have helped me?
"I'm sorry."
"you say that a lot."
"I feel it a lot."
I feel it's my anger that has helped keep me alive.
I am tired of explaining the fire, it burns because it must.
The enormity of my desire disgusts me.
'My own thoughts become an escapeless prison. They never cease, never leave. Only get quieter on a lucky day.'
'The things they don't tell you about being suicidal, is the fear.'
I am holding my loneliness, and she is a teenage girl with puffy eyes, and I love her more than I have ever loved anyone.
'How you looked at me that one night, those 4 seconds, I'll remember for the rest of my life.'
'To love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it.'
Gripping my bathroom sink repeating I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone
How unfair I have to hate everything that reminds me of you.
'It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter anymore. And yet I cannot let it go. I cannot let it go.'
'I think what hurts the most is the fact I thought you felt the same.'
I'll wait.
'I noticed everything, I just acted like I didn't.'
'His voice, please don't let me forget his voice.'
I wish time had better timing for you and me.
I can't forget you.
I'm still here, loving you silently.
'You were my yes, but I was only your maybe.'
'I might have erased your texts but I will never forget what you wrote. We might have stopped talking but I will never forget your voice. We might have stopped hugging but I will never forget how you smell. Anything we did, I will never forget.'
I really wanted it to be you, I so badly wanted it to be you, until I understood you didn't want it to be me.
"So what happened?" He asks after a pause.
"What always happens," I reply.
"I fell in love and she didn't."
'Autumn killed the Summer with the softest kiss.'
'One day you're going to wake up and notice you should've tried. I was worth the fight.'
'Stop looking at me like you want me because we both know you don't.'
'How many times can the same thing break your heart?'
As long as you love it.
'If they ask you about me, tell them "She was the only person that loved me with honesty, and I broke her."
'You can't just make me a different person and then leave.'
No one will ever be able to knock the wind out of me again. Not like that. Not like you.
'After all, we were a match made in heaven, but sadly, we are still on earth.'
'I feel I've waited for years for it to get better.
Most of my life has been in strife, with myself, with my mind. Yet after all these years, I'm yet to find something better, something worth living for. I fear I'm wearing thin as time goes by, always holding out for the next year and the year after that. Always hearing it'll get better, but the better days are never here. This fear inside me that it'll never get better, that it'll always stay the same. Always filled with this longing for more, this sense of being lost, feeling alone in a room full of people. I'm stuck in this cycle of getting better, only to inevitably get worse again.'
'I've had the worst week of my life, and I wanted to badly to tell you. But we don't talk anymore.'
I waited but you never came.
I knew it would hurt from the beginning.
'She wanted to say "Don't leave me." But she couldn't do it, not again. She was so tired of begging people to love her.'
I can't exactly describe how I feel but it's not quite right. And it leaves me cold.
I watched you become a stranger.
'I'm trying. I promise I am. I swear. So why do I have nothing to show for it? Why hasn't it done anything? All I've done is tried so hard. Pushing myself to my limits and scraping my hands against the grindstone. I'd get blood on my shirt and I'd wipe it and get up. So why am I still suffering? Why does everything hurt to touch? Years of suffering and I have gone no where. I haven't gotten bad enough but not better. I've searched for the answer in the dirt and linoleum. And nothing has answered. Why can't I be happy? Why am I incapable? I swear to god I'm trying. I didn't want to be this way forever. Please.'
'I don't think I want to die. It feels strange to say. Especially how much I've craved my finale. It's funny, almost. That I am pleading for my life but the person I am pleading to is nobody other than myself. I am drenched in so much misery. But deep down, really. I just want to be happy. I suppose it boils down to the fact I believe I am incapable of true happiness. I don't think there's help for me out there. I don't want to die, I told him. God, I don't want to die. I just don't think that I'm worth or capable of saving.'
'I dreamt about you again. Leave me alone.'
'I don't forgive you. I won't. It is not a bad thing. I was a gentle hand, you were not enough to take it. That will never be my fault.'
I hope we find eachother again, I hope it's in this lifetime.
'You keep forgetting I'm an entire person and not some vague fucking concept that you dreamt.'
'Crawl inside this body, find me where I am most ruined, love me there.'
I love him, I want him to stay away from me.
I promise you I'm better than this. Please just let me heal.
I accepted it already, but it still makes me sad.
'Can I hate you for who you are now and love you for what you were then?'
"Do you still think of him?"
"Everyday."
'Never before
Had I wanted to say so much,
But said so little;
Felt so much
But stayed
So silent.'
I was never ready for you to leave.
'I've given up on having dreams. On wanting.'
'I'm miserable. I've burnt out.
Nobody will know my name.
Nobody will know me.'
'Deep down, there is a burning.
I want to feel that passion, that interest.
So badly it's hurting me. Severely.
To spend my life doing what I love would be an honour.'
My brain knew, but my heart wasn't ready.
One day it feels like I'm healing, next day I am breaking again. It's like a cycle that has no end.
I open my fingers, I let everything go.
'Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined.'
'Is this what growing up is? Just leaving things behind, over and over?'
'How are you so quiet about it? Your sadness i mean. How do you hold it in your chest, in your eyes, in your teeth without letting it speak; how does it stay still?'
'I feel as if I'm made to understand but not to be understood.'
All I can do is be me, whoever that is.
Do you still perform autopsies on conversations you've had lives ago?
'Finally, he said "you know I love you right?"
And I said yes,
And he said, "and you know I would never want to hurt you?"
And I braced myself, because nobody ever says that unless they're about to hurt you.'
You like taking care of people because it heals the part of you that needed someone to take care f you.
Vodka burns my throat but your name hurts my head so I would rather black out with a hangover than stare blankly at my hands trying to forget what it was like to touch you.
How can emptiness be so heavy?
'-Fix it please.'
'Fix what?'
'Me.'
You collect scars because you want proof that you are paying for whatever sins you've committed.
I care. It fucking terrifies me how much I care.