Kawaii rant!!! >_<~β™‘

TW for severe anger, depression, dissociation, depersonalisation, negative rhetoric, silly goofy mood /neg, implied hypersexuality/light nsfw, etc.

















Dude istg im so fucking tired of y'all talking to us as if we're soxxe or a singlet. How many times. ITS NOT THAT HARD TO ASK WHOS FRONTING OR CHECK OUR PRONOUNS OR SHIT. ITS SUCH A BIG EFFECT ON OUR MENTAL HEALTH AND YET NOBODY HAS TREATED US AS IF WE'RE AN ACTUAL VALID SYSTEM.

"soxxe-" shut the fuck up soxxe hasn't even been here for months and if you had bothered to ask, maybe you would've known. Infact we've even stated that, even in the same conversation, yet some of you still call us it??
You blame us for our bad memory yet still recognise we're a system? You have the fucking audacity to say you're a great friend or great person yet still invalidate us and make us feel like shit.

We've debated going back to being a closed system and public singlet because of how invalidated we feel but we shouldn't have to just because of all of you being shitty people.
At this rate the only place we feel comfortable is in servers we don't even use, just stalk, because we get to watch so many systems get validated and get called the correct names or even be asked at that time, who they are, what they're comfortable with, and how they're doing.

If anyone had bothered to ask, even if they're confused, we would've been so grateful. We actually sobbed when someone started to ask who was fronting at what time and what we preferred because nobody has done that shit before.

We shouldn't have to use proxies to be validated as a system, y'all are just scared to put in the fucking effort and that's why I hate singlets. Singlets suck ass. I'm sorry i'm not normal, I'm sorry? But it's a much bigger burden being a system than what it is to ask someone a couple questions just so they're comfortable.

We literally had fronting in our status, changed our pronouns section rapidly so you wouldn't have to ask and so you'd be more comfortable! Made even a fronting link that took hours and hours. Started to put fronters in our bio and use proxies! But of course, no, it's still not fucking enough.

A collective name and collective pronouns doesnt mean you get to use them when you know whos fronting or dont bother to ask. "They-" WE DONR EVEN YSE THEY. OK STICK WITH HE/HIM I STILL GET MAD BUT I DONT CARE AS MUCH. DUDE JUST BC THEY/THEM PRONOUNS ARE GENDER NEU DOESNT MEAN YPU CAN GET AWAY WITH MISGENDERING SOMEONE. I LITERALLY CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Why havent you been talking to me as much" "why are you avoiding me.." "why have you been so angry?" "why are you splitting all the time" BECAUSE OF YOU GIRLIE‼️ BC OF ALL OF YOU 😭 YALL ARE SYSTEM SUPPORTERS UNTIL ONES ACTUALLY GOT NEEDS AND REQUESTS TO BE RESPECTED. WE'RE SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME BECAUSE OF ALL OF YOU AND I HATE IT WHY DO WE GOTTA SUFFER FROM YOUR SHIT πŸ’€

Man it's not even just singlets at this rate. We've had other systems invalidate us for no reason. No, before anyone reading this (if you even get this far) suspects we're endogenic, we're not, we're a c-did / ramcoa / tbmc traumagenic system. Society just fucking sucks now, I'm SO close to deleting social media. I don't even have a comfortable reason to get out of bed anymore because even those closest to me, I feel uncomfortable around.

I don't have any sense of identity anymore, none of us do. We're just always blurry now since oh, we're just 'soxxe'! Or 'nickname' to all of you. You're so lazy that all of you just make nicknames because you can't be bothered (not towards cricket, we've given you permission, you're excluded from this part). We honestly can't handle this shit much longer, I'm losing my mind (IM AS IN NOT SOXXE. UWU GET IT? DO YOU GET THE JOKE? yeah fuck you bitch).

We're on the verge of a delusional episode. I know "if its a delusion you cant tell" and we literallt dont tell, not while we are delusional, but this is before, and I can notice the goddamn signs and i bet its because most of you make us uncomfortable in our body. I feel absolutely horrible blaming all of you but you guys are literally the issue, so I'm gonna blame.

We don't feel comfortable anymore. Not being called our names, our identities, ourselves. We're just nothing now. Not even soxxe. We just barely exist because we're so tired. The only identity we have now is being a whore because that's the one time we don't have to think, we don't have to have an identity, we just have a purpose of being used and that's perfect!!
But it's not. We know fucking well irs not deep down, but it's not like we can do anything, just you guys can!! >_<

"Why don't you just cut them off?" Because there's barely anyone to cut off at this rate. It's not like we have many friends, many people. It's mainly just people in our server, or perhaps friends we're to scared to lose. I don't know. But we really can't do shit which is petty, imagine not even being able to have control over your own life when that's one of the reasons the system split anyways, to try and help us control our trauma.

I hate most of you. To those in the pride flag server i don't even talk to, thank you for being so understanding and kind and educating towards others and specifically systems and making us feel valid and comfortable when we're not even active in. I don't talk to anyone in that server yet y'all are the best thing that have happened to me β™‘


Fuck the rest of you, no wonder we're so angry all the time, you're all dicks.
I hate singlets i hate singlets i hate singlets i hate singlets (and the few systems that have invalidated us and not put any returned effort in, fuck you.)


Anyways thanks for probably not even reading this!! ^w^ β™‘β™‘β™‘β™‘β™‘

send me a message or a πŸŽ‰ if you've actually read this all the way to the bottom because I can guarantee only 2 people will.

Edit

Pub: 21 Aug 2023 02:14 UTC

Edit: 23 Aug 2023 04:22 UTC

Views: 426