You've spent a long time watching your new oshi.
You tune in for each and every single one of her streams. You even complain when she's not streaming.
In many ways, she's consumed your life. Every inch of her design is perfect. Her voice and mannerisms are exactly to your liking...
But... your promise. You think about your promise, each and every single day.
Your former oshi. The one you promised...
She worms herself into her mind. Her words echo in your brain. The one you would love forever, even if, somehow, she ceased to be young and beautiful.
But she could never be. She would always be beautiful to you. Even if somehow... she could lose her youthful luster.
She whispers in your brain each and every single night, leading you to restless sleep. Her melodious voice calls you. You think of her when your new oshi isn't streaming.
You think of her when your new oshi takes breaks. You even think about her when you're in your oshi's threads. You think about her account, laying there, dormant, in your memberships list...
Why? Why did you leave her behind? It's been so long...
One night, you wake up. She calls you. No, not by voice. You can just feel her.
It's pitch black, and the world feels like it's shaking and collapsing around you. Yet, your feet move on their own, attracted to their destination.
You place a hand on your forehead, trying to calm the splitting pain you feel. Nothing works, and you can't see anything...
You turn behind the staircase. You see it, the door.
That door, you always entered it... when you felt lonely, or desperate, or depressed. You knew what awaited you was unimaginable happiness and comfort.
Because... that's where she lived.
The door stuck out to you, bright, stable and unmoving while shapes in the darkness around you twisted and shifted, a terrible sound bouncing through your ears.
If you turned back now... something terrible would happen. Yes. Definitely. The darkness would swallow you, and you could never come back here.
You pressed your forehead against the door, the grooves making up the intricate designs and carvings on the wooden frame digging into your skin. Even this brought you some relief from your headache, and from your fear.
You breathed in deeply, and turned the door knob, pushing against it...
You took in the clean air. The field was beautiful. There wasn't a single cloud in sight, yet the sun didn't burn your skin. In fact, you could stare at it all you wanted, and it wouldn't hurt your eyes, either.
A breeze wafted against you, and the melody of the birds' singing soothed your ailing mind.
But even more important than the beautiful sight of the immense flower field, was... her.
She was there... standing, staring at you.
You took off, running to meet her. You haven't seen her in so long...
"It's been a long time..."
You dropped to the ground, your knees too weak to support your own weight.
You apologized to her, over and over again. You promised.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I promised. I promised I'd be there for you. I promised I'd marry you."
She crouched down, her hand ruffling your hair.
"It's okay."
She embraced your head, leaning into you. You couldn't quite see it, but you think she was smiling.
"I forgive you... no matter what you do, I'll always forgive you. You can do anything to me... you could even kill me, and I'd forgive you."
That's right. That voice... enthralled you. You were her thrall again... just like you were meant to be. You couldn't even be called alive, you were like a corpse, her emotions, her voice... they were the definition of your existence, the heart that pumped blood into your veins.
This is the meaning you abandoned.
"I'll love you... always."
"I... I betrayed you..."
"No..."
"You could never make me sad. And I could never hurt you."
"Rushia could never hate a fandead."
You wept softly in her tender embrace. You would never leave this place again.
Never again...

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Pub: 14 Oct 2021 06:47 UTC

Edit: 14 Oct 2021 07:12 UTC

Views: 122