Transorientation

Transorientation Definition

Transorientation is a transid term where you feel like you should have a different orientation, or be attracted to people you currently aren't/not attracted to people you currently are. Alternatively, it can also describe those who - intentionally or not - have had their orientation changed (think stuff like caedsexual).

There are specific subterms, such as translesbian, transveldian, transbi, transasexual, or in my case transallosexual.

This is the flag for the term (made by transx-mogai-cafe on Tumblr):

The transorientation flag, which is a rainbow flag with light brown stripes going diagonally in both directions to form x's, with five small white hearts at the intersections of the stripes.

Different Transorientation Flags

Translesbian

The translesbian flag, which is the lesbian flag with light brown stripes going diagonally in both directions to form x's, with five small white hearts at the intersections of the stripes.

Transallosexual

The transallosexual flag, which is the lesbian flag with light brown stripes going diagonally in both directions to form x's, with five small white hearts at the intersections of the stripes.

Isn't that just internalized homophobia/biphobia/aphobia/etc?

Short answer: No. Not at all.

Long answer: No. Internalized queerphobia would be if you hated yourself for being a certain orientation and hated everyone else who was that orientation, and if you were in denial about being that orientation because you thought it was wrong or bad. Simply feeling like you should be a different orientation may seem similar on the surface, but in fact it's nothing like that. Just like how someone doesn't just have internalized misogyny for being a trans man (yes, that's exactly what your argument is, don't try to pretend like you can just hide behind "I support trans people" to make yourself seem like you aren't transphobic), someone doesn't just have internalized queerphobia for being transorientation. In fact, transorientation folks entirely support all orientations. Just because we aren't one orientation when we originally were doesn't mean we automatically hate that orientation. (Obviously, there are always going to be bad people in every community, and there's going to be people who hate their original orientations, but a couple people's opinions aren't the entire community's opinions.)

Let's use me as an example - I'm transallo, originally ace. I have absolutely nothing against ace people, I entirely support them, in fact my boyfriend is ace. I just have never felt like I specifically should be ace. By definition, I am (or, well was - we'll get to that later) asexual: I don't experience sexual attraction. But I've always felt like I should, like I'm not meant to be asexual. Of course there are people who are asexual and who are happy being asexual, and that is perfectly fine, but I am not one of those people. It's the exact same feeling I had when I was younger and realized I was a trans man - dysphoria because I feel like I've been given the wrong life. Yes, dysphoria isn't just exclusive to transgender folks, saying that as someone who is transgender.

Transorientation is not "I experience oppression for being this orientation so I don't want to be it anymore" or "I think this orientation is gross/weird/bad so I don't want to be it anymore" or anything like that. The exact same argument could be made against someone who is transgender - is a trans man just a trans man so they can escape misogyny? Obviously most people would answer with "no, that's ridiculous and transphobic". Then why is it different for someone who is transorientation? Oftentimes, transorientation folks aren't even transitioning to an orientation that is "less oppressed" - making that argument is just playing oppression olympics to try to claim that one orientation is "more oppressed" than the other and therefore anyone who feels like they should be the "less oppressed" orientation is just trying to escape oppression and anyone who feels like they should be the "more oppressed" orientation is just romanticizing oppression, and either way it's just people of one orientation invading another orientation's spaces. The argument could just as easily be applied to transgender folks - read that argument again but replace "orientation" with "gender", and it sounds exactly like what transphobes repeat constantly. Here's a tip: If your argument sounds exactly like that of a transphobe's and you have no evidence to distinguish it, your argument is just you being transphobic (whether that be internalized transphobia or just straight up transphobia).

You're probably asking why I keep comparing transorientation to transgender, because orientation and gender are two obviously different things. I am comparing them because while, yes, they are different, there are some similarities. Being transgender is feeling like you should be a different gender than how other people perceive you or what gender you "originally" were - transorientation is the same thing but with your orientation. Why should you be perfectly fine if someone is AMAB and feels like they should be a woman but upset and angry if someone is lesbian but feels like they should be bi? Yes, different orientations face different types of oppression, but it's the same with different genders. If you can't feel like you should be a different orientation because that orientation faces different oppression, then transgender people can't feel like they should be a different gender because that gender faces different oppression. You can't pick and choose when it is or isn't okay to want to/feel like you should be something different just based on what's normal. Just because transorientation identities aren't as accepted doesn't automatically mean that they're horrible and queerphobic - if that was the case, then anything not accepted would be horrible, and no one besides cishet white adult men should have rights. That sounds ridiculous and awful, doesn't it?

TL;DR: Transorientation terms aren't just internalized queerphobia because they entirely support their original orientations, they just feel like they weren't meant to be those orientations. Saying that they're queerphobic for that is just as bad as calling a trans man misogynistic for feeling like they were meant to be a man instead of a woman.

Isn't "transitioning" just conversion therapy?

Short answer: No, conversion therapy is abuse and non-consensual while transitioning orientations is entirely consensual and up to the individual and not abusive at all.

Long answer: Before I start this, I just want to say first that transitioning is absolutely not required to be transorientation. You don't have to change yourself at all to call yourself the orientation you feel like you were meant to be, it's up to you whether or not you want to transition. Dysphoria is also not required to be transorientation, obviously, and your transorientation identity is still valid even if you don't have dysphoria and/or don't transition. I do have dysphoria and am transitioning, but I obviously cannot speak for those who don't have dysphoria and/or aren't transitioning. Feel free to send in an ask/dm if you are non-dysphoric/non-transitioning and want to add something, because I aim to be as inclusive and informative as possible.

Conversion therapy is when someone is forced to try to be straight/cis/allo/non-queer through physical, mental, emotional, and even sexual abuse. Conversion therapy is nothing but abusing and traumatizing people to make them into something they don't want to be. Already, this argument against transitioning falls apart very quickly. Even though I'm sure you don't want to hear the "anti-transid arguments are just anti-transgender arguments but more accepted" repeated again, it's very similar to the "gay men are forced to take estrogen to turn them into women so they stop being gay" argument transphobes use against trans women.

Transitioning is consensual. Conversion therapy is not. Transitioning is a personal choice up to the individual. Conversion therapy is not. Someone can decide to detransition or stop transitioning at any time. With conversion therapy, the individual cannot. Transitioning stems from feeling like you were meant to be a different orientation and is about becoming what you're most happy with. Conversion therapy stems from queerphobia and believing that queer identities are wrong and sinful and should be eradicated. Really, there are no similarities beyond "trying to become a different orientation", and even then that connection is very general and iffy and could be applied to a lot of things.

So, no, transitionin isn't conversion therapy. Obviously. While it does seem like a very big possibility at first, once you learn anything about what transitioning actually is, that's disproved very quickly.

How does transitioning work?

Well, it's... complicated. There's no physical way to transition, and there's no guaranteed set amount of time it'll take, there's not even a guarantee that it'll be easy or simple. Unlike how someone can just get surgery or take hormones to transition automatically when it comes to gender and usually have a guarantee that it'll work, with transitioning your orientation it can take a lot of time and energy.

Transitioning is hard to explain because there's a lot of different ways to do it. There's no concrete rules or a way that'll work for everyone. The only advice I can give is to try what you know works for you: If you know that telling yourself something over and over helps that come true for you, then do that. If you know that being in a relationship with someone of the gender you feel like you were meant to be attracted to will help you transition, then do that. If you know that something else works for you, then do that.

From my personal experience, it's worked so far. I feel way better every time I feel sexual attraction - it's been a very long journey (almost a year now) and at times it's been difficult to keep going without giving up, but I'm happy with the progress I've been making. Feeling more complete and like my true self has helped with my BPD and anxiety symptoms and has made them easier to deal with. I don't lash out and get angry as much anymore now that I feel less dysphoric about my orientation.

I'm obviously not saying that transitioning is gonna make you happier or cure your depression or anything like that - but if you genuinely want to transition but are scared it's not going to do anything to help your dysphoria, then I suggest that you do transition. If you realize that you don't want to transition, you can always detransition, there's no harm in realizing you were wrong. And of course, if you don't want to transition, then don't, that's entirely cool. Identifying as transorientation without transitioning is entirely valid. And if you aren't transorientation, don't feel pressured to be transorientation and transition, you absolutely don't have to. Being cisorientation is absolutely fine as well.

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Pub: 26 Oct 2022 01:02 UTC
Views: 439