residential.
residential.
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will somebody miss me? would somebody miss me? did i forget? do i remember my book? do i remember my journal? do i remember him? do i remember him? do i remember her? do i rememer? do i remember my room? my room? my room? the same room. the samd room. the same toom. the same. her. mal. mal. mal. mal. her. him. kai. her. kinza. her. sophie. fucjing fiona. her. ej. her. mary. her. shiloh. what about the staff? what are yhe staff? what are staff? what is a fire drill? i had one. i had many. only one. i was there. too long. oh so long. long. long. longing. i got used to it. and then i was moved. right to indiana. di i know these staff? brendon. tommy. peggy p on a pole. (we called her that because she worked at hooters.) why dont i remember any other? oh my god. its been over a year. over a year. over a year. away. without. maybe this isnt even ptsd. maybe im pathetic. sensitive. overreacting. fair. halloween. halloween fair. book fair. so many. dbt. dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt dbt sbt dbt dbt dbt med pass dbt books dbr worksheet dbt bucks dbt points pages pages pages upon pages check in precaution helmet helmet helmet forgotten. the books. i dont remember who i asked to peel my bananas every single day. the one who had a crush on drake. the books. we watched a movie. a movie about a man. and then another book. but i never got to see the movie for that one. why dont i rememebr? i dont remember anything i dont remember the titles or characters. oh my god. forgetful. im forgetful. im forgetting. ive forgotten. weve forgotten. theyve forgotten. forget. forgdt. forget. forget. him. missing. letters. letters. letters and leeters and letters and letters and letters andletters and letters and letters and letters and letters and letters and letters in envelopes envelopes envelopes every day at school journal mailing asking for them to be mailed . we would get in trouble. we would get in trouble for thinking ot talking about anything even close to family. "must focus on treatment. your outside 'life' is for the outsjde. forget." forget. 10cminutes. 10. angry. guilt. awful. 10 minutes. 10 minutrs to talk to my mother every other day. only every other day, brcause every other day someone crashed out and broke another phone. 5 minutes, because their phone calling schedule was always fucked up. watching. watching tv. watching tv. im watching tv. im not. i remember wafching. staring. hours. christmas tree. my god. forget. oh my god. ice. penny? or jenny? what do i know? why? when. when was i. what was i? what am i? will they see. will yhey remember me. ever. please. please do not forget. please dont forget about me. please think about me at least half the amount i think of all of you. am i insignificant? insignificant? insignificant? now theres another problem im focused on. a piece. puzzles. so many! one. one puzzle. i am one piece. i hleped. did i? did i. i did. please. tell me i did. tell me. i brought together. fell apart. so i brought together again. over hatred. over a mutual hatred over myself. they are happy again! happy. letters. gifts. family. familym family family. nothing. impossible. school. her. him. care. did he? did he? did he. no. too much. too much else on the mind. too many other friends to be thoughtful about. not. not me. not me. not me. priority. they are the priority. his. miss. you did not miss. you didnt miss me. all i am good for, would just to be to go back there and keep making people laugh. priority. expensive. too expensive. never again.
happy? was he happy? were they happy? get rid of me. away. get away. gone. happy. no more burdens. away. i was away. you were better. better than me. they were too. not to me. to you. wording? what am i wording? what am i saying? what am i trying to say? what am i blabbering? why am i talking? why do i say talking if im texting? no speech comes out from my mouth.
hospital. story time. night. every night. crying. boats. in my boat. towels. disgust. why did they look at my body? why? crying. missing. family. friends. friends that mustn't miss me. for a reason. for their reason. too much. too careless. what was i?
gone. go. go again. go back and see if one person other than your family cares. will they? yes. but you shouldnt tell yourself that. because they wont for long. friends will get used to being without you. old friends did too. the same. it will all be the very same.
love. i hate love. i dont want love. i need love. i dont need love. i want love. hatred. pure hatred for the concept of "love." i wont get it. will i love? would somebody hypothetically truly miss me terribly, as if i were to ever return to residential? a lot? or only in the back of their mind? like him. what would happen? he. secret. embarrassment. hate! he didnt want to even be seen around me. stupid. i was stupid. stupid, i still am. stupid. how stupid.
change. change yourself. or just dont. it will not make a difference. you have ruined this for yourself. lie. lie in your coffin. unlovable wretch.

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Pub: 22 Jan 2026 03:40 UTC

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