unlucky number 013...
hi. i'm Max, i'm the ex host & shell of this system, but as of right now am almost never fronting whatsoever so i can rest internally and finally take a break
i have severe cPTSD and intense trauma responses and mood swings as a result
rejection sensitive dysphoria and abandonment issues are also really bad, and i have a tendency to regress into a traumatized child state when certain things or situations are triggered
please be gentle and patient with me
i will us 'i' instead of 'we' often when fronting due to 🐚 even though nobody else in our system does, please keep this in mind;
i also have several different "forms" i can take on in innerworld and have subsystems corresponding to each as a result of 🐚 as well, in case that ever gets confusing: it's still me, same person, same alter, just presenting different in innerworld
more to be added
I'm mostly brainmade/👼 origin but i've introjected extra sources too
italic = extremely prominent
bold = absolutely vital
sources:
• playlist of songs i've introjected,
all of which vary in intensity/prominence for me
• the musician NF (is a subsystem)
• The Song of Achilles
• Achilles from Greek mythos (👼: 📚)
• the serpent in the Garden of Eden (👼: 📚🕊🐍)
• Lucifer in Paradise Lost (👼: 📚🕊)
• Frisk & Chara from Undertale (👼: 🎥📚🪞👥)
• Flowerfell!Frisk
• noncanon SAW fragment (result of fusion)
kins:
• Five Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy
• Eddie Kaspbrak from IT Chapter 1
• Max from Camp Camp
• Virgil Sanders from Sanders Sides
• MJ from the MCU
• Sam Holt from the indie horror game Love, Sam
• Tracey from Thirteen
• Soul 22 from Pixar's Soul
• Gwen from The Black Phone
• Coraline from Tim Burton's Coraline
coping links:
• Hamilton's Angelica Schuyler
• Viktor Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy
• Evie from Thirteen
• Finney from The Black Phone
• Dan Torrance from The Shining & Doctor Sleep
(more to be added, continuously updating)
⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏
⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏
boundaries:
• ask me whether or not i want to discuss my sources, most of them i introjected as a by-product of grief and mourning and are sore spots as a result; they're also deeply and incredibly personal to me and i'm likely to get defensive if you try to claim or act more entitled to any of them than i am, especially those that are bolded
• i don't care about sourcemates so don't ask thinking i'll be enthusiastic about interacting with anyone just because of a source/kin/etc of mine
• ask first before giving any form of affection. if i don't know you, chances are the answer will be a hard no. especially for touch, do not touch me without some kind of warning beforehand, plus it's also just reserved for loved ones anyways
• teasing/playful banter is accepted if you're a friend or closer, otherwise maybe don't just to be safe :/
• 100% okay with nicknames, please give me some; ask about pet names, i usually will only accept these from loved ones and family members
• do not ask me to front unless you're my dad or my partner. period. i avoid front as much as i possibly can and i'm not about to change that just because a rando wants to talk to me specifically.
• don't use tonetags on me, i hate them and specific ones make me incredibly paranoid; ask me to clarify my tone if needed
• i'm polyam but i'm also aro and incredibly romance repulsed; PLUS i'm underage, don't flirt with me you fuckin weirdos
• i'm prone to anxiety/panic attacks, melt downs, explosive outbursts of anger, shut downs, crying/grief spells, and more. interact with caution and by your own discretion.
• more to be added
extra pages: