A/N: Sorry for the late post readers, but I was busy looking for a Laptop. I settled on one. Now that I no longer must share a PC, I can upload more chapters faster.
Ch. 7 -- Woe is Me, What a Terrible Deed
Age of Jared
First Heavenly Estate
I rarely get time to think about how this all started. Unlike humans who can only recall fragments of memories when they really want to remember something from so long ago. I can remember what happened two hundred years ago with supernatural crystal clarity. My story began in Heaven, in the realm of the highest, the home of my former heavenly father, YHWH.
I was conversing with a new class of angels called guardian angels who were created on that same day for a special selection of humans that would be born in the coming generations. These humans would become influential enough to change the world as would their children and grandchildren. People think they are born with their own guardian angel. The truth is they are assigned angels whose humans have already passed on from this world, either from war, natural causes, suicide or abortion. Only select humans get newly created guardian angels because the Lord has willed them to have one.
The new guardians looked nervous, but I tried my best to tell them that they would do great. It would not be an easy role being guardian, as they were going to have to put with a lot of their human sins and arrogance and natural flaws. But if they managed to keep them on the right path, they would be crowned with more glory here than what they can handle. Then one of them, bless them, asked me if my own role was difficult. I told them, that as a watcher, it wasn't just all about watching.
I said that my role along with my brothers and sisters was to shepherd the new human race that was multiplying on the earth, onto the right path. We were supposed to watch that they did not learn any unnecessary secrets from heaven above or earth below that may corrupt them and their endeavors. This was our original and rightful purpose.
Second Heavenly Estate
In the second sphere of heaven, Lisa ascended to where her brothers and sisters lived and reigned. The second sphere was like a second planet earth, but with more beauty to it that no master painter could ever duplicate on his or her canvas in any lifetime. That no photo could truly capture with all its beauty and worth on film or digital copy. The rest of the watchers were gathered around a giant crystal sphere where they watched the virgin human race living their daily life on the earth.
"What's everyone looking at? I thought we were all taking turns." I spoke.
"Hepsibah, there you are. Come over here" one of my sisters called me over.
"What are you all looking at," I asked anyone who would answer me.
"Hepsibah, did you see the new humans, Adam and Eve's children have made?"
"Yes, I have. They are multiplying fast on the face of the earth."
"I still can't believe how and why the Father would create such a beautiful creature for the first earth man. Do you think he created her because he is his first earth-born son? Why have we, his sons of God, not received our own companions?"
"His name is Adam, call him by his proper name!" I said loudly to Semyaza, leader of the watchers.
"And Eve was created for him, from him, by the father to be his. She is not yours nor does she belong to anyone here."
"You always were the father's favorite bitch. Always thinking you know better than the rest of us. It's no surprise after all your name does mean 'she is my delight'. What are you even doing here gathered with the rest of us if you are going to disapprove of our chatter and opinions?"
"Semyaza, what about Lilith, she's also a woman, she is single too. The last time we spotted her she was by the red sea all by herself." said another watcher.
"The earth woman? I rebuke her! She is nothing but a harlot who is mothering spirits and demons to other wandering spirits. Besides, she's practically the same as the earth man. I will not lay with a man."
"But Lilith's beauty is also just as--"
"Do not mention that earth woman's name in my presence. She may be beautiful, but her beauty is rotten like her soul. Eve's beauty comes from her purity and innocence.
I forgot to mention, my true name is Hepsibah, which as Semyaza put it, means 'she is my delight.' The Lord most high has given all of his creations a name. Our names hold power over us and hold power over our roles and stations.
"Thou shalt not covet another man's wife!" I yelled at them.
"Another man's wife you say?" Semyaza answered.
"Yes. She is his wife, not yours! Now stop talking about her and saying things that are going to cause your fall."
"I don't care about falling anymore. Look at how Father made us look at how we look! We don't even look like one another, can you even call these faces attractive! Adam and Eve look a thousand times better than we do already. We can only take human form when we go down there, otherwise, the humans will shout in horror. When we present ourselves to them, WE have to look like them. We can't even be ourselves in front of them."
"You should be content with what you have. Are you so bored with our father that you are seeking to covet another man's wife? My only real concern now is, what are you exactly planning on doing now?"
"Let me ask you a question Hepsibah, why do you look like that? Like a woman. Do you desire one of the sons down there? Has one caught your eye?" Semyaza asked her.
"No, it's because I like this form, and I can relate to the daughters of man more than any of you. Please, I'm just going to tell you this once. Don't do anything that will endanger or corrupt the children on earth, that's all I'm asking you."
And so the time had passed without much trouble and no real serious incident. The daughters and sons of men multiplied on the earth. Hepsibah saw what her brothers saw that the daughters were in fact beautiful, almost as beautiful as their great grandmother Eve was. But the sons themselves were beauties themselves. Well, beauty in the sense that they were very masculine but extremely attractive. They were far more attractive than the previous generation of men.
"Hepsibah! You need to come and see this!" shouted one of her sister watchers.
"What is it Atarah?"
"Semyaza, that bastard really did it!"
"Did what? What did he do, Tell me!"
"I think it's better if you see for yourself.
- Planet Earth -
From their heavenly estate, Hepsibah and Atarah descended to the earth on Mount Hermon and saw that her brothers had given themselves forbidden bodies. Her brother's heights ranged from nine to twelve feet tall. She saw them taking girls as young as 14 by force and raping them. Their fathers, brothers, and grandfathers, bless them, tried to force the giant glowing men off their daughters, wives, and sisters, only for most of them to get maimed or outright murdered in front of their loved ones. She could not bear to see anymore. Although she admired the men's bravery, their strength was pale compared to the strength of her brothers.
The more she watched her brothers ruining humanity and allowing their half-breed abominations to subjugate humanity, the more she hated every one of them. Their children were born to human women, who at first were normal-sized. They looked like normal human infants. But with every passing day, they grew at an explosive pace. They towered over their parents by their first year. Some as tall as their fathers, others even more. They ate everything their parents gave them, try as they might to keep them filled. Then they began to eat the animals. When the animals could not quell their hunger anymore, they turned to humanity itself. The watchers, unwilling to kill or raise a hand against their own spawn, that they seemed to really care less about, instead taught men and women magic and how to manipulate the elements to protect themselves against their children. They were also taught how to make weapons and shields and armor and how to enchant them to increase their striking powers.
Whilst the men learned how to fight back against the Nephilim, the watchers continued to whore, eat and drink themselves to inhuman levels of indecency.
"I tried to help the humans. I tried killing the Nephilim bastards myself. But each time I targeted one of them, their fathers prevented me from damaging so much as a piece of hair on their heads. I had to bear witness to the death, rape, and corruption of the lives I and my former brothers were supposed to watch over. But all hope was not lost, as what remained of the human population began to pray together to the Lord to help them.
I watched as father dispatched the 4 most powerful archangels to pass judgment on the children of bastards and the reprobates. Uriel was sent to warn Noah of the coming flood and was told to build his ark exactly how the Lord wanted it. Michael did battle with Semyaza and chained him upside down in the stars, so he could watch as Gabriel caused the giants to kill each other. Raphael chained the worse of them all, Azazel, the one responsible for teaching men how to craft arms and armor to kill each other and cause a war between men. Not to mention he also taught women how to cause abortions while the fetus was still inside of the womb. He was chained inside a deep black pit, where he would never find comfort among the sharp jagged tooth-like rocks that will perpetually torment until he and all my former brothers are thrown into the lake of fire. The watchers watched in horror as their children and the women they used to bear their abominable bastards were cut down.
But if you think it was only my brothers that went astray, you would be mistaken. My sisters, some of them went astray not by lust, but out of curiosity. They took the youngest most handsome men for bed partners and not as their husbands. The children my fallen sisters bore, were not giants or became giants. But they became what humans would call sorcerers, magicians, wizards, and witches. Men and women are naturally born with magical abilities, not powers that are given to them via books of spells or pacts with demons. They were transformed into sirens on The Lord's command. For allowing themselves to taint their bodies and spirits, out of spite they flew around the skies masquerading as goddesses leading men away from the father. Others lived on islands as false women, leading mariners to them to eat and try to quell their hunger for the flesh of men.
When the flood came, I remembered that horrible crashing sound it generated. It was the sound of mountains being ripped out of their foundations from the earth and crashing against the lands of the world as the worldwide flood sunk every mountain, every hill, all the tallest trees. All life on earth was buried beneath the waters and drowned. The souls of the Nephilim could not descend further below than that of the earth and were prohibited from entering the heavenly realm. So, their souls were sealed away beneath the pits of the earth where they would exist as disembodied evil spirits and searching to corrupt man and woman alike.
After the waters receded and life returned to normal. The watchers, as a choir of angels in the heavenly hierarchy, were erased. All memory of them in heaven was erased also. All our former duties were stripped from us. Now guardian angels oversaw watching over the new generation of humans that were born to Noah and his wife along with a few surviving humans that survived the flood hidden inside of mountains. I also learned that, unlike my brothers and sisters, the guardian angels could not give themselves entirely physical bodies, but only partially materialize in order to intervene and save their humans. Shortly after there was war in heaven. Another immensely powerful figure in Heaven, Father's first creation rebelled against him and fell after a long-protracted war against the heavenly armies and against Michael, prince of father's armies. I stayed out of that mess and kept to myself in my own heavenly mansion. The fall of my own brethren impacted me more than it should have.
I was called by the Lord to speak to him. So, I did. I went to his majesty and humbled myself before him.
"My daughter, you truly are my delight. You kept yourself to me while your brothers and a small party of your sisters left their heavenly estate to unite their spirits with the flesh of humans. Whether out of lust and envy or curiosity, your brothers and sisters are damned for all eternity. Please always remember that I will love you no matter what. Just please do not disappoint me as my last son did." "You mean Lucifer," I asked him.
"I promise father, to always remember where my real home and the love of my eternal life rests in."
That is what I told him. But it was not meant to be. My words would become as hollow as a shell when I saw a young Sumerian man of 20 years. His name was Hilimaz. He was working the fields of his father's land when he stopped to rest and get a drink of water. He fell on his knees with hands clasped together in prayer.
"Oh, Goddess in heaven, I pray to ask you to send me a wife that will be fit to bear me children so I can have a family. My father and mother worry that I will never find a suitable woman. Please answer my prayers oh merciful goddess."
How could I describe the appearance of this young man? He was beautiful, not like a woman, nor like an angel. But it was his innocence, his way of speaking, and what he believed in. But most of all it was his eyes that drew me in from the start. A passing air siren heard his prayer and began to transform into a beautiful goddess. But I, breaking my promise to the lord, left my home and dealt a fatal blow to the siren. She fell towards the earth like a falling star and I instead of her, gave myself the appearance of a goddess and presented myself to him. He saw me and beheld me in all my glory. He fell to his knees and professed to me his faith in me. But as I told him,
"I have heard your prayer my son, but It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that no woman in this world is worthy of your love, your adoration, and loyalty, none except me."
"But you are a goddess, no good can come from a mortal laying with one of the immortal ones."
"You are correct, but I am willing to break divine law to be yours if you will have me."
We dated, even though there was not a word to describe that in that time period. He fell in love, me more than he did. He became my entire world, the air I didn't need to breathe. My entire thoughts were only about him and making him happy. Before we could consummate our marriage, he would be killed during a war that broke out between another neighboring nation. Before he could go out to join his brothers in arms, he promised me that if he died, he would reincarnate and find me in this lifetime or the next one. So, his soul continued to reincarnate repeatedly. Every ten years he would reincarnate into a new body. Sometimes he was a woman, but most of the time he was a man. When he was a man, we would have sex to try and get pregnant. I did not know if there was something wrong with me or not. When my sisters fell and laid with men, they got pregnant immediately. Perhaps Father took this ability from me and never told me. But some force was telling me that it would take several more attempts throughout different lifetimes.
When my beloved passed away, his guardian angel told the lord what I have been doing with him and so he called me back to heaven to talk to him. I knew it was the last time I would be in the presence of the almighty and I was prepared for it.
"How could you do this to me Hepsibah, you told me you knew where your true home and the love of your eternal love rested in. Why have you chosen to abandon me?"
"Father I don't know what to tell you. I have sinned against you. I have nothing to say except that...I have fallen in love with one of your earthly creatures."
"You have given yourself a body, forbidden even before your brothers and sisters fell, and you used it to partake in the action that the daughters of men do to bear children. If you love that man more than me, more than your own home. Then feel free to live amongst the children of men until the end times when I will personally have you and all the rebels punished and destroyed by my own hands. Leave my presence and never look up towards heaven in supplication again. Your place will be on the earth for now. And as you have correctly guessed, I did take away your ability to conceive. But now you will be able to, but you will only bare that man's child and you will only bear one child for your entire immortal life. The pain that you will feel will be worse than what Eve felt after she and her husband left the garden. It will be like birthing one hundred children all at the same time. But the pain, no matter how great will not kill you, but will kill your ability to ever conceive again. Your time on the earth will not be as easy as you think. Because you desired flesh, so desire you will have for all your life. You will mate with all sorts of abominable creatures, both male and female. Now leave my sight!"
And so, I made my home in the lowest and last layer of heaven, the clouds. From there I watched out for my beloved, but this supernatural lust that the Lord had placed in me made being faithful to him impossible. I whored myself out to kings and queens, emperors and empresses. To supernatural creatures, male and female, and to the common folk. He did this to me in order to perpetually test my love and loyalty to the man I fell in love with. I admit I hated myself for letting myself fall for every lustful temptation. I often ask myself; would he still love me after finding out how unfaithful I have been to him, not out of my own desire, but because the lord was punishing me. Would he understand that if I ever lost the love of the one, I abandoned all of heaven for...I couldn't think of it back then.
My beloved whose soul had finally been reincarnated again, reincarnated in the year two thousand. He was reincarnated into a young man of twenty years. He was the son of a farmer working the carrot fields. It felt like DeJa'Vu all over again for me. The same fateful day back in ancient Sumeria was happening all over again. He was more handsome, more beautiful than any man or woman I have known after his soul took a long absence in reincarnating. His hair was as black as coal, his eyes like shining obsidian. His skin like burnished bronze in the sun. the beads of sweat that rolled down the sides of his neck and face drove me mad with desire for only him.
"Sweet mother of God, Virgen de Guadalupe, I pray to ask you, please bless me with a godly woman who will love me and always will be by my side. I ask this in Jesus's name."
"The God may have changed, but the request remained the same. Humble and pure. Innocent and patient. I may not be the blessed mother or a goddess, but I am still the same woman who fell in love with you." I thought to myself.
I met him again as a tourist passing by his hometown. From there, I returned all of his memories of our entire relationship and he had finally returned back to me. Our relationship resumed after centuries of waiting for him. After many attempts after our marriage, I was finally with my child. Since that night, I could no longer see even the dimmest rays from heaven. The doors to my heavenly estate, my original home were closed to me forever. I was damned to love a creature of flesh whilst chasing after more of it. I am truly damned. But damned or not, I will remain loyal to the one I fell in love with no matter how much flesh I desire."