va url cuz vy + amelia get it get it ⠀⠀⠀⠀08.26.25 ♡

to my lovehow i felt writing this

hi vy, long awaited lovemail that youve been begging for the url of for quite a while now.... its finally here winks winks. gulp.

honestly speaking i dont know how to start with this, i have so much to say and on my mind so this might be very chaotic. youre the first ever person that ive dated that has impacted me sm in such a short amount of time and while i dont know why that is, but im so glad that its you. each time i get reminded of the fact that we dont know eachother for that long i feel like a desperate freak for falling for you so quickly (and ive said this multiple times already), but at the same time, im so so happy that we got to become this so early on and that we already trust eachother sm and tell things abt ourselves that we probably wouldnt utter to another soul, intimate and personal. ive told you about things that ive experienced irl, things that have impacted me negatively, things that only one of my other friends knew with no hesitation at all cause i knew i can trust you and that you wouldnt try to hurt me or my feelings. we dont know everything about eachother yet but thats okay cause this relationship is still in a very early stage and the things we do already know show that we both have trust and hope in this relationship. whenever you tell me something that you might find humiliating or embarrassing, i actually really appreciate that you trust me enough to say it outloud. everytime see you get online, talk to me during school, stay up for me to talk especially when our timezone differences are so drastic, or just sit w me on island in that stupid pony game when you could be doing so many other more fun and engaging things, it makes my heart beat faster and makes me feel really important and appreciated. youre always on my mind and thinking of you makes me focus more on things that i usually get very distracted on. im not necessarily diagnosed with anything, but you work like medicine for me and my concentration. youre the first person that actually makes my brain go almost fully silent, the first person that i can focus on with no unnecessary multitasking on the side, and the first person that ive stayed up for hours on end for, cause i genuinely love talking and spending time with you. i feel warm inside when youre sweet to me, when you tease me (except with them fuckin mike and afton ponies you PMO), when you tell me that you love me, and when you give me your full attention.
i know i apologize a lot and worry about how you see me, but that’s only because your opinion matters so much to me. im always worrying so much and being so anxious about how you think of me. i usually dont care how others perceive me, but i feel so different when im around you. i suddenly start to care. your opinions matter to me alot and even the thought of you being annoyed at me, like that time where i didnt know alot about what you were talking about, makes me wanna actually tear up. ive never been this sensitive with others before, but you do things to me that even i dont know how to explain. i feel like i can actually be myself around you and i wish i had the courage to tell you about everything thats on my mind when we have our more personal talks. i hope you wont mind having to get used to my clinginess and me needing reassurance basically all the time about our relationship and your love for me. i have a anxious attachment style.
first thing i do when i wake up is check our messages on discord and see if youve texted me, and if you did, i get so so happy and it immediately brightens my mood. i smile like a stupid little girl when you text me how you missed me, or just anything else that someone would consider sweet and loving. just the fact that youre giving me attention and the idea of you thinking about me even when im not around makes me blush. i feel important. sometimes i even go on and reread our past messages when youre offline.. or i imagine our future convos for when you finally get on. its simply me missing you and imagining what we'll be talking about, and maybe if we'll learn more about eachother too. i really do wish you rambled to me more. i wanna learn more about you, what youve done when you werent able to talk w me and the things you love. even if you think its not interesting. i wanna know, i wanna hear you talk. and i hope ill get to see you open up to me more eventually. thatd be really cool.
i also hope that in the future, even if its really early that im saying this and you might think im insane and crazy and probably delusional, that we'll have the opportunity of meeting in real life. i really wanna hug you. ive never had this much of a desire of meeting someone in real life that ive met on the internet. im genuinely the most socially anxious person ever and i usually dread these kind of things. but its different when its you. i dont think i ever loved anyone as much as i love you. i dont know why and how and again why youre so special to me but maybe ill figure that out over time. you mean the world to me. i wish we'll be able to have this thing we have going on forever. i will never forget how you made and still make me feel and hopefully will continue to make me feel the way you do. this has never happened to me before. i feel so weird, but i think its a good weird. i hope this relationship and our trust in eachother will grow more and more as time goes on, that both me and you open up more, cause i know that even i have to work on that. i wanna experience new things with you by my side, even if its just online. i dont want to rush this either. you and your feelings matter to me alot.

i love you.
so, so much.
and while we have said this to eachother so many times already, and some people may say that its too early to actually know, i think im sure of it. i just hope ill get to learn more about you the more we talk and spend time with eachother. i believe it all comes naturally.

something else that ive also wanted to mention even if its quite embarrassing, or atleast is to me, is the fact that ive genuinely never reacted so heavily to someones flirts and advances and just general presence. i wasnt one for online relationships, atleast not for the most part. they always felt very onesided, i never felt anything other than a bit of a ego boost that i had someone that i could call my partner and someone who considered me their #one. but that changed when i met you. my face actually turned red when we made flirty jokes and i smiled multiple times when you were around. i had moments like 'what the hell is happening why am i even reacting to this especially since the way we talked wasnt really new to me, ive had done jokes like this with others before. so why did it feel so different with you? (lol cornball) i genuinely have no idea, i wish i did. i think youre just really my type lmao #autismrizz am i right? im really glad that you decided to ask to be friends that day on atabook. that you found my rentry and actually reached out, especially knowing that im an irl and you having a more negative opinion about such kind of people. im glad that i was an exception, and i really do hope that youre happy about making me that exception as well. i hope that im just as good of a partner as you thought id be; that i didnt disappoint you. im glad that we like the same things, specifically my otp that ive been secretly fixated on for years and only two of my friends knew of. to have a partner that likes something that i consider so important makes me wanna jump in joy you dont even understand. my wish was a gf that would like this otp of mine as much as i do and i still cant get over the fact that i got what i wanted. we're so them btw.
i wanna thank you for sticking with my constant overthinking too. it can get so so tiring to be with someone like me who needs constant reassurance in the relationship cause theyre so afraid of getting abandoned, getting boring to the person they love. i know cause ive dealt with people like me. i dont know if you find it tiring or not, you may say you dont, but id genuinely understand if you did. i just ask of you to please keep being patient with me. i will eventually stop worrying the more time we spend together. thank you for not getting annoyed with me.

i would have written more but i also dont want to make this too long (i do) and id probably just end up repeating myself. just know you mean alot to me.
ill definitely rewrite this and make it even longer as more time passes by and ill have more to write about haha. i hope this lovemail isnt too disappointing to you.
i know its still early as ive said before, so if this feels like a lot, just know i dont expect you to suddenly tell me everything about yourself just how id wish. thats impossible, and i know we both have to develop more courage, even though weve already shared some other things about ourselves.

us

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Pub: 08 Feb 2022 21:11 UTC

Edit: 08 Sep 2025 19:30 UTC

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