04/26/25
please do not rush me for replies. i have been in a state of derealization since wednesday. i am not ok. it is my evil disorders acting on me. i am displaying ShEd signs. i am also deluding myself because it numbs the pain. below is my ranting on whats going on in my head. its cringe, im sorry 🐶 ive been feeling more pathetic then ever. maybe helpless a bit.

i do not know whos in my head. lukey is stuck in front. but one of them is acting for me. i apologize. i am not one of the weirdos that encourage ShED. i will never encourage someone to be like me. it is evil. i have not eaten over 900 cals each day. i think im losing it slightly ? oh well. i miss my fp. come back to me, okay ? my brain is evil and not kind to me, it wants me to do bad things to myself but i do not want to do those things. people that know me irl think im insane. but people online think im normal, isnt it strange ? 🐶♡ do i sound cringe ? am i talking to myself ? maybe. oh how i miss my fp. whyd you leave me my sweetest ? i know your going through something, but i didnt want you to leave 🐾 come back.. im yearning for you. imagine me sitting infront of the door like a dog waiting for its love. thats me waiting for you. ohh im so sick and ill. i feel like im back in 2017 writing an insane ranting for my favorite character. but your real. 🦴 i cant escape you. every little thing reminds me of you and it brings me to tears. i was bombarded with lovey dovey kawoshin edits when you broke up with me, did you know that? my mom kept giving me oranges the morning after, i put my spotify on shuffle, not on my playlist, and was bombarded by radiohead and deftones. my feed keeps on having persona 3, bloodborne, and darksouls II on it. oh how i miss you. im so sad, we will never finish playing persona 3 at your house after school ever again. oh im so sick, i dont even know who i am anymore ! am i really disassociating, or is it a lie ? maybe this is a bad dream. ill never escape. oh we are so cute together. i am typing this on day 3. i think im losing it completely

im cringe. yes i know that. but this is deeper then that, i do not wanna sound insane but the more i look at this im 1 step closer to being back on meds. my cute puppyboygirlthing persona is fading. persona mention ? persona 3 mention ? i miss u. you remind me of makoto.

here is my main rentry. i am normal and not this ? delusional

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Pub: 27 Apr 2025 23:09 UTC
Views: 99