the purpose of this is not to glamorize health conditions but to educate. i need an easy to access resource for my health so that people can interact with care.

i am autistic. medically affirmed bc it is a scary time to be "legally" autistic. i also have bpd. medically dx. i have sad, also medically dx. it doesn’t affect my online presence much, but it is inhibiting in when it comes to work or school. i’m asocial. not antisocial, i just like independence and a lack of interest in social stuff. i also have arachnophobia, this phobia is serious. seeing the word spider is fine, but any visuals or discussion i cannot handle. i am in the process of my re-eval and have suspected szpd. unfortunately your boy is having major anxiety around going back.

i have misophonia. little noises (chewing, clicking, tapping) go from tolerable to unbearable very quickly. i have photophobia (dad has epilepsy but my symptoms are closer to a sensitivity). bright lights and motion blur are too much for me. i have tmj. sometimes i can’t talk without pain, sometimes i can barely talk at all. intense migraines come with this.  i am hard of hearing because i have chronic etd. my (mainly left) eardrums are permanently retracted. i’m also visually impaired. amblyopia and ptosis are tag-teaming me, which results in chronic diplopia and i need my prism glasses to see. double vision vision is a bitch guys. now imagine motion blur with double vision. lol. if you’re wondering why my ears, nose, and eyes are all so fucked up, i was a preemie. yay. my body has been holding a grudge for being born too early since i was a baby. let it go bruh.

and then there’s mcas (mast cell activation syndrome). this is the big health one. the inhibitor of all inhibitors since birth. this is an immune disorder i unfortunately have, and i am suspected to have a primary immunodeficiency as well but testing for 500+ rare disorders gets pricey. so me and my doctor chalk it up to yeah there's a PI don't get sick too often you might die! which is laughable considering my overactive immune system makes my body so weak in terms of defenses so i get ill left and right. but yeah, i am sure you are wondering what the hell is mcas? so mast cells are one of the major cells of your immune system. they release when you need your blood vessels to work, your fever to lower, your body to fight off infections, and so much more. they also look out for foreign bodies that are harmful to your body, like bacteria, viruses, or parasites. some people's mast cells are more protective of the body, and will release histamine in response to the foreign bodies. this is called allergies. yes, some bodies see something like tree nuts and are like hm ...  yeah not a fan of that, release the histamines! and boom, allergic reaction.  that is my body constantly, and severely. in addition, it is constantly signaling to my immune system that there is harm in my body and that i am sick, so my immune system acts like i am sick or allergic to literally whatever it feels like is annoying that day. my body is in constant attack and defense mode, and its fighting a fight that does not need to be fought. because my systems on overdrive constantly and making me sick, my body is overworked and weak all the time. this makes me incredibly susceptible to illnesses. basically i feel like shit constantly! it sucks! mcas can have a lot of "triggers". my most severe categories are drug and environmental, but i also have food limitations. i ignore most of the food part, because otherwise i’d starve and i like food lol. the drug one is a problem. because when i get sick, i cannot take a whole lot because my body thinks i am allergic to a lot of medicines. i will have adverse or even deadly reactions to drugs. i was getting treatment for mcas but it only marginally improved my life. for the cost and the suboptimal outcome, it simply was not worth it.

this is a wip click to go back.

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Pub: 01 Feb 2024 04:14 UTC

Edit: 18 Oct 2025 20:31 UTC

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