NOTICE ; if you cannot read all of this, DO NOT INTERACT

BYI :
ㅤi have a hard time making and keeping friends! i struggle with change and like to stick to my small, close group of friends. every once in awhile i branch out and talk to someone new, but most of the time it tends to not last. i dont like to accept friend requests until ive established a bond

ㅤsomething that prevents me from keeping friends is effort. when i notice people not putting in the same effort as me i find that they are not worth my time. if you dont message first or lean on me to start and hold conversations, i will notice and stop talking to you. i usually cut people off after a couple of days of noticing the pattern. i try to give people a little heads up when i notice it, but if i dont i probably just dont like you that much, sorry!

ㅤi have processing disorders. i often need people to repeat what they say, both over text and on calls. with texting, its more just the wording doesnt click right with my brain and i need you to word it differently and break it down for me. over call, i just ask you to repeat what you said, it helps if you say it in a different tone! when you repeat it the exact same way it usually doesnt help me process it any better. if thats still not working i usually just ask you to type it. sorry!! ; (◞‸◟)

ㅤthere are also just a few topics that i genuinely just cant process without it being broken down for me like a toddler. these usually being history related topics. this includes geography and and government. note ; i cannot process politics, NOR DO I WANT TO!! keep your political views away from me. thank you!

ㅤim pretty done deaf. its quite ironic since i split over tone changes, but im just bad at reading inbetween the lines about what people think or want. sometimes i push boundaries if you arent clear about them. if i do something you dont like, nice butfirmly remind me. you dont have to baby me but note confrontation triggers splits with my BPD. do not be a dick about it. be PATIENT!

ㅤi also really cant tell if you mean no but arent saying it. i have to guess. if you dont wanna talk please just say it. if youre making up excuses i will just work around them thinking you want to do something but its just in the way. i am persistent. you need to be direct but not harsh. if you cannot communicate these things and you have to hint, do not try to befriend me.**

ㅤagain, i cannot emphasize this enough, if you have a problem with what im doing, TELL ME!

ㅤi am mentally ill. do not take this lightly, this is a warning. i have episodes and splits and meltdowns, i try to keep them to myself, but the closer we are the more chance there is for it to spill over. i am not perfect, i will mess up sometimes. even though that sometimes is more like a lot of times. if i do come to you with my problems, dont give me solutions. ive been living like this for YEARS. trust me, i know the drill. all i need is for someone to listen and hate the people i hate tbh. comfort is appreciated but i understand if you arent great at that.

ㅤi am affectionate with my close friends. please do not take it out of context or use it against me. this is how i am with my close friends. i do not mean it weirdly, romantically, or whatever else. it is friendly.

ㅤthe affection i tend to display is usually but not limited to ; actions of hugging, cuddling, licking, kissing ( usually meant in a joking way or as a kiss on the cheek or head ) , saying things such as i love you, or gay / romantic jokes.

ㅤif you are uncomfortable with any or all of these, please do let me know and i will respect your boundaries.

ㅤi know its a lot, but i am a very complicated person. my issues are not limited to this, but if you stick around long enough youll get the jist of it.

thank you for reading.