"Come on in out of the cold, boys! I made poutine, and there's a roaring log fire going!"

A man who looked nearly identical to Dave the sled driver, save with a blue plaid flannel instead of red, cheerfully waved at the gang as they entered a log cabin that could be nicely described as "rustic". Having finally detached himself from Arlo, OTL Ronnie grumbled under his breath.

"Ugh, you don't even have central heating in this icy shithole?"

No version of Ronnie had ever been good at whispering, so Dave pretty clearly heard the complaint, and responded with diplomatic speech but less diplomatic body language, including an obvious eye roll.

"There are space heaters in the guest bedrooms, Mr. Radke."

That seemed to settle Ronnie somewhat, and while still grumbling, he took off his still-wet coat and hung it up in the closet, then sat down with the rest of the party at the kitchen table, which looked like it had been assembled by hand from self-cut logs and was laid with several steaming plates of...something. It definitely smelled hearty, but its appearance wasn't the most appetizing -- a pile of brown stuff of little discernable shape, with white globs topping it. All present poked at it suspiciously, except Zane, who enthusiastically started mowing it down. Dave, the other man who looked like Dave, and the sled dogs also seemed quite into it, although the latter of those only got what occasionally got dropped as they circled the table like vultures. Spark was eating it, but didn't seem to display any notable reaction.

After some muttering amongst themselves, the other Falling In Reverse guys got up the courage to try the previously unknown dish, Christian taking off his mask to do it. They seemed to find it favorable based on their body language afterwards, which convinced 06 and Arlo to join. (Arlo, however, removed the cheese curds from his bite because he'd never liked the texture of cheese by itself.)

Daniel was the first to speak up.

"Hey, this is pretty good, uh...what was your name? And, uh, what is this?"

The blue-flanneled man let out a hearty chuckle. "Oh, I'm Warren, Dave's husband. I'm a lumberjack. Carved pretty much everything in this cabin myself, and do most of the cooking on my own logs too. That there's poutine. Practically an institution around these parts."

Zane started loudly and enthusiastically singing the "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay" song, despite Arlo and 06 both attempting to get them to stop. Warren smiled. Ronnie, meanwhile, was still grumbling while poking around his uneaten plate with a fork like he wasn't sure if it was going to bite him.

"Ugh, of course he's gay. I don't know why I'm even surprised at this point... what the heck is this? Whatever it is, I'm not eating it!"

Daniel didn't make the slighest attempt at diplomacy. "It's poutine. Did you not hear?"

"Sounds French. I hate the French. Think the other Max kept talking about this stuff, so I know I won't like it."

"What other Max? There's only one Max who's been in FIR that I know of."

"You know, the Max who isn't my Max! The less hot Max! The Canadian Max, along with all his other gross personal faults which are why I fired him. Anyway, I'm not eating this."

"Dude, it's fries with gravy and cheese. There's no part of it you don't like."

06 had been giggling the whole time, and decided to interject. "And hey, the kid likes it! Are you seriously a pickier eater than a 4-year-old?"

Arlo had been pretty nice to OTL when they were on the sled together, but now that they weren't huddling for warmth, all bets were off. "Who, might I add, is literally a clone of you, so you probably have the same taste buds?"

OTL glared at everyone present and started growling, before opening his mouth as though to speak, but nothing came out. With extremely calculated hesitation, making it clear to everyone present that this was against his will and he was internally if not externally complaining about it, he painstakingly slowly picked up a bite of the concoction and raised it to his mouth.

He couldn't quite suppress the obvious smile, which everyone else at the table noticed. It, of course, abruptly vanished as soon as he returned to consciousness.

"This is...acceptable. Perhaps not everything in this icy hellhole is a waste of time."

The rest of dinner proceeded with minimal incident, since the most annoying person at the table's mouth was stuffed for most of it.

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Pub: 18 Jan 2026 20:29 UTC

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