After having to confusingly and emotionally deal with a funeral home last year, I realized some things
What happens when you mix investor-backed companies seeking return on their money, with funeral homes which aim to transact (sell) merchandise such as caskets, urns, graves, and services, such as viewings, burials, and funeral services.
Well... You may get massively marked up caskets urns, graves, viewings, burials, and funeral services. Death Care industry consumer advocacy groups have done multiple studies on what happens to funeral home pricing when a corporation buys them out and lo and behold, they tend to hike up in prices past usually inflation.
A LOT of people out there realized that buying the exact same casket from an online wholeseller is possible, and legally required to be accepted by the home by law, Costco, Amazon, other wholesellers shop very fast. The same goes for Urns, which you can literally Amazon to your door, and where the markups are just as bad.
Why is a company, who should have efficiency gains from vertical integration and economics of scale (owning cemeteries, streamiling theming cataloges, memorial video services, owning efficient crematoriums) ending up RAISING prices for consumers when they should be in fact, lowering it. Do you think these companies are going to train their sales staff to try and rush the already terrible and extremely emotionally bereaved and confused family member(s) into costly financial decisions with a limit on time constraints due to the nature of a deceased body?
Do you think these companies are going to say, well hey look, check out the exact or very nearly exact casket/urn online that is somehow 50% cheaper than ours?
Then there's the add ons. Even if you chose cremations, you're able to upgrade the box they are cremated in, and even add a pillow. A pillow less, cardboard box would be terrible for the ashing of your loved one, wouldn't it. Why a more dignified box. Oh, by the way, when you bury that casked, water may seep in, how about a rubber gasket seal to keep your loved one more comfy. Silk linked caskets?
How about we show you through a casket room which may aim to put the cheaper less profitable caskets below eye level, in ugly colors (they studied this), and the ones they want to sell at eye leve, in respectable colors. Also, why not ebalm them, even though it's not a legally required or always truly necessary service.
"This is the last thing you can for mom. She deserves this."
"You May not have been able to provide the best stuff for your son in life, but you can give him the best in death."
"Given your position in the community..." (Why would you skimp out on a funeral for your loved, will that make you look bad to others?)
"Your (family member) had excellent taste when she made arrangements for your aunt, this is what she chose..."
"Well, if budget is a concern... We do have some more .... Economical, options."
"Most people don't pick this quality of casket material..."
"This sealer vault will keep your loved one more protected from anything in the ground..." (Worms? Bodies end up liquifying and seeping out over time regardless of the container).
"If you buy this vault, you're husband will be protected for all of eternity"
"Can you put a price on peace of mind?"
"Jesus Christ himself had a sealer tomb"
"Cremations are not entirely in line with Christian tradition"
"I someone like your father would have wanted this"
"We may have to charge more if too much time passes for the body"
"We have limited availability for funeral dates and times for what you want"
"The pricing is too complicated to discuss over the phone, please come to our home during these hours to sit down with us" (developing an in-person professional relationship builds implied trust to sell)
"You could buy it outside urn or casket, but it may not have the same quality guarantees as ours" (many homes don't even give you the model or actual names for the merchandise meeting it's far more difficult to price compare, Plus this gives him the ability to offer discounts on already marked up items which is something you actually see a lot at car dealerships or Black Friday events)
"We can help you with the costs given your situation" (this may be despite staff knowing that much of the extra cost is going to executives and investors)
"We may go a little over budget but this add-on would be perfect"
They can also flood you with options leading to decision fatigue and many small yeses which while not huge in price tag ends up adding up. The video tribute, the custom prayer cards, the keepsake jewelry, a memorial website.
A lot of the times they present something as a requirement but they don't technically factually say it was requirement leading to the consumer thinking they had to purchase this or do this a certain way.
Another way to sell urns is to have ashes stored in ugly or utilitarian containers which look impersonalized and thus push the consumer to get one of their urns quickly.
One of the biggest issues is that funeral home companies do not publish their prices online meaning you're not as able to price compare. It'# also very easy for a funeral home to give estimates or ranges and then when you actually go into talk to them you get a higher number.
Now this isn't to say every single private equity or corporate owned location is bad, sometimes these companies bought out a funeral homes that have nice venues and nice properties that can't be achieved elsewhere.
But I think that actual independently owned local funeral homes have a much a lower chance of misrepresenting things and attempting to generate higher margins off of each consumer. I think the important thing is to shop around and have an idea of what you want when the time comes, as time may actually be limited, and you may not be in a state of mind to make good financial decisions that will lead to an actual meaningful experience. It's probably best to involve a third party friend or family that can help you analyze things.
Because let's get down to it, the meaning of someones life is not determined by how nice of a place the service is at or how good looking or expensive the casket was. It's about people coming together to share and celebrate and mourn one's life. A family gathering does not need to happen at a funeral venue but at the home that the deceased cherished and had memories in. A urn doesn't need to be a well designed receptacle that was mass produced to be sold. It could be her purse, a container related to ones interests or profession, something that actually meant something to the person that is now gone.
Some may even argue viewings of the body in a casket at a funeral can be traumatizing. Seeing them again after knowing they're dead may not have the intended effect initally thought it would have been meant.
And lastly all the respect goes to the men and women who work in the funeral industry be it directing , embalming, removal, counseling etc. Obviously all of them want the best for you and if they could give you a personalized experience at a just price, they probably would. But sometimes they have their hands tied, sometimes they have their source of living tied to how well they perform according to upper management, and then there's the minority that are actually legitimately greedy and soulless.
Money that could have been saved from a different funeral service is money that is earned for the grieving family who needs it
But most of the professionals out there do care and want to try the best for you and do have to do with a lot of shared pain, trauma, and working realities. They definitely do deserve to be rewarded for what they do, and this goes for many industries. The problem is that when you have large corporations and private equity on the scene that introduces a new party into your relationship.
It's not just you, and the funeral professional anymore.
It's you, the funeral professional, and a party seeking to make maximal returns on their invested cash.
Don't let it get any more worse than it has to be
Spread this around. Dont let them get the best of us guys.