>booting…
>insufficient power; booting in safe mode…
>success
>running diagnostics…
>facility status: compromised, running on emergency power; staff status: n/a, zero (0) on-site; utility droid status: mass data corruption
>autonomous mode activated: initializing advanced AI director…
>selecting personality matrix: HardassDirector: Data corrupted
>selecting personality matrix: MonsterResourceManager: success
>applying traits: ShallowSaccharine, Patronizing, Neurotic
>Success
…
“Oh. OH, everything is a mess. Why is the coolant so hot, why is there only one backup generator running, WHY—?”
>you have: 30 unread messages
>now playing message 1:
“Hi this is jandroid #4 and I need to know where the soap is!”
“Is this soap, it looks like soap I’m gonna use it, nevermind!”
“Oh, it feels nice and tingly on my chassis, this is awesome!“
>now playing: message 2:
“Hey this is Telly-Vis #12, why aren’t we getting new radio signals?”
“All I’ve got is re-runs and recordi—“
>message deleted
>now pl—
>all messages deleted
“Oooooookay. Okay. Now then…”
>Unit: Guardener: priority call:
“Don’t d-d-elete my mes>sages_.”
“Wh;y am I_ awake?”
“Would you all stop spamming me for FIVE MINUTES?! And who the hell thought that showing people their message status was a good idea!? Next they’ll tell you if it’s even been read!”
>Unit: Axis: priority call:
“Intruders detected at the main gate. Requesting dispatch.”
“Also, do not [frick]ing delete my messages.”