You didn't touch me. Not there.
Your fingers caressed my inner thighs, sliding over my skin, and your eyes were there too, looking down at where you touched me, and my sex pulsed, alive with excitement, so wet, and I was so aware of my own wetness. That was something I'd never felt before, but holding your cock in one hand, my fingers clasping you, I knew, and I'd given you those condoms, and I wanted you. I wanted to give myself to you, completely.
"I want to see you," I whispered, out of nowhere.
You smiled. You smiled, and you eased away from me, onto your back, exposing yourself so easily, so casually, proud of yourself. Proud of your erection, displaying yourself to me. I'd never seen one before, and now, alive with excitement, I was filled with curiosity. I did, I wanted to see it. You, and you said nothing. You smiled, and you waited.
I sat up, curled around, half lying on your legs, my face over your balls and you cock, looking down at you. Studying you. I'd held this in my hand, but now it was right before my eyes. Inches from my face, jutting upwards stiffly. Your balls, big, round, and I was fascinated by them. Your cock, criss-crossed with veins, that swollen head. I reached out and touched you with my fingertips, stroking you, absorbing the feel of you.
Heart pounding at what I was doing, I looked around, saw those Trojans, that little packet, and I'd opened one, out of curiosity, I knew what they looked like. I took the box, opened it, removed one little package and opened it. I took the condom out, and tried to work it onto your cock. Your erection was something that I couldn't take my eyes off as my fingers tried to work that condom onto you. I'd never imagined a man's thing would look like this. Never imagined it was so big. Huge. I wasn't even sure how it would fit inside me.
"Like this," you said, showing me, and I knelt there, watching as you worked it onto you, and then you looked at me. You smiled, and my heart thumped as you eased me back down, onto my back, and I knew what you wanted. On my back, naked before you, your cock covered with that condom I'd taken out and started to put on you, I'd never felt so utterly and completely exposed as I did in that moment when you looked down at me, and I knew you were going to take me. You were going to make love to me.
"Estelle," you breathed, and you eased yourself closer. Not over me, to take me immediately, as I half-feared, half-anticipated you would, but beside me, close to me, one arm under me, your condom-covered cock resting on my thigh, your hand resting on my inner thigh and now your hand touched me, sliding over my waist, my hips, my thighs and then over my stomach, the gentle slide of your fingers on my skin leaving me trembling.
This time there was no pause. No teasing. No hesitation. You knew what you wanted, you knew what I'd offered you, and your hand slid down over the base of my stomach, over my sparse, almost non-existent little fluff of pubic hair, and then you cupped my sex, your hand between my legs, your fingers sliding over my swollen and slippery labial lips, one finger sliding down between them, bringing a long moan that filled your mouth as you kissed me. My hips jerked uncontrollably as your finger explored, my thighs falling wider and wider apart, even drawing back a little so that I could spread myself wider, expose more of myself to you.
"Ohhhhhhhh." That moan shuddered from me as the tip of your finger probed inwards between my labia, paused for a moment and then penetrated with a slippery ease that startled me. My own swollen liquid excitement startled me even more and the ease with which your finger penetrated was even more of a surprise. It was as if my body sucked your finger within myself, and I felt myself open to your touch like the petals of a flower opening to the sun.
"Ohhhhhhh." Your finger slid upwards, penetrating and exploring as I'd never dreamed of being penetrated, sending a new and irresistible wave of pleasure and need washing through my body. With a leisurely gentleness, your finger probed deep within me, exploring, caressing, awakening new pleasures and excitement within me.
You found the swollen little nub of my clitoris as if you'd always known me, and you teased that simultaneously, so that I moaned in helpless thrall to the sensations you were creating within my body. Your mouth locked itself to mine, your tongue probed deeply, as deeply as your finger, your lips crushing mine almost painfully as your finger within me slid and pressed and turned. And all the time there was that erect shaft resting on my thigh, the knowledge of what it was for, that scared excitement at that knowledge as your fingers teased and explored and probed.
Your mouth lifted from mine. You looked down at me, and I waited, knowing you were going to take me, knowing why that condom was on you, and I was wide open to you, my body burning with excitement, and scared as I was, I wanted to surrender myself, I wanted to be taken. I wanted you so much, and the thought coaxed a faint moan from my lips.
You said nothing, simply raised yourself and moved over me, between my legs, your hand guiding me knees further apart, your eyes holding mine as I gazed up at you, waiting, still, silent but for the beating of my heart.
"Move your knees back further for me," you breathed, and submissively, my heart pounding, I did as you asked, drawing my knees back, opening myself completely to you as your finger left me.
"Further back," you breathed.
I obeyed. I'd never before felt so exposed and vulnerable and helpless. Or so excited, and I moaned softly in my excitement and in my fear of the unknown, but my helpless excitement overwhelmed all else as I waited.
"I've never," I gasped, suddenly frightened, wanting to delay the inevitable. "I don't know what to..."
You smiled down at me, saying nothing. One of your hands took one of mine, and clasped your fingers around your condom covered cock. Your fingers tightened, you moved my hand, stripping that condom from you, leaving it in my hand as you moved down on me, and I felt the hard swollen head of your cock part me, and push firmly against my entrance.
"Ohhh!" You felt huge there, huge and hard. I still couldn't believe how incredibly wet I was and as you pushed against me. You chest pressed roughly against myaching breasts, a roughness that I craved. Your body pressed against mine, pinning me beneath you, your thighs forced mine back, and I was completely exposed, completely wide-open and totally vulnerable to you.
You kissed me gently, then harder, almost roughly forcing her mouth wide open, and as you kissed me, you gently eased the swollen plum-sized head of your cock through the tightness of my entrance for the first time.
"Mmmuuuughhh!" I moaned into your kiss as you entered within my body for the first time, swollen and large, stretching my sex around you. It was strange, strange and weird and scary and new and exciting and terrifying as I felt you within me, stretching me inside, stretching my entrance around your thickness, hot little ripples of excitement and pleasure washing through my body and I wanted it, wanted you to continue and I was scared of what was happening, all at one and the same time.
Your mouth lifted from mine but your eyes remained locked on mine as you moved a little inside me, easing the head of your cock just a little higher up inside me against the tight resistance of my sex. I felt myself stretching around you, felt your shaft stretching my entrance around your girth as you slowly eased yourself higher, gently moving backwards and forwards within me, penetrating her a little further with each slow movement. I'd never felt so vulnerable, never felt so helpless, never felt so excited as I did now, looking up at your face above mine as you moved inside me. I couldn't help the little noises I made as you moved, excited little noises, gasps and moans and soft little cries that reverberated through my body, adding to my own excitement that seemed to ripple and surge outwards from within myself.
Slowly, gently, moving in a steady rhythm, you penetrated more deeply, stretching me and opening me, sensations rippling through my body, and as you moved, my pleasure seemed to grow and intensify. I welcomed the steady penetration, the steely hard shaft that seemed to fill me impossibly as it drove inwards between my widespread thighs.
You didn't pause, you continued working your cock backwards and forwards rhythmically, working yourself deeper and deeper inside my tightly clasping sex, thrusting yourself into me again and again while my body juddered and quivered in helpless surrender beneath you, myr breath coming in quick gasping moans and little sobbing cries as you thrust and thrust, grunting your pleasure as you took me.
"Uuuuggghhhh ..... nnnuughhhh ..... hhuunnghhhh .....hhhuugghhh." I groaned and cried out and sobbed and gasped and groaned again and again with each of your thrusts, feeling my sex stretched impossibly by the solid thickness of your swollen shaft within my body, feeling my channel curving to the shape of the impossibly large bulbous plum-sized head of you until your pelvis finally crushed up against my sex.
You paused then, completely inside me. Impossibly big and long and thick inside me, and weirdly, it was both painful and exciting at one and the same time. Even the pain merely added to my excitement as I felt the hard length of you deep within me, penetrating to my heart, and then, somehow, he thrust even further up inside me and I groaned again, a groan of helpless submission as your shaft managed to thrust itself impossibly further inside me.
"Are you OK?" Your voice was gentle.
I looked up at you blankly, my entire focus inwards, on the huge hard shaft of hard male flesh so deeply buried within my body and the sensations it was creating within me. I could feel every single inch of you inside me, from the swollen glans to the veins that covered the hard surface of you. You stretched me within, stretched me mercilessly, stretched me to the point that it was almost pain, but not quite, and as you moved slightly I could feel my entrance moving with you, feel the slick slide of your shaft between my labial lips, feel your glans moving within me, the tight frictioning of your shaft against the clasping grip of my sex.
I gasped as you eased outwards, then moaned quietly as you thrust into me. It hurt a little, but it also felt good. Very very good. Exciting. And I wanted more. And then you were moving inside me steadily, harder and faster than at first, sliding your hard length out until only the swollen head was inside me, pausing, and then thrusting yourself up inside me until you impacted solidly against my pubic mound.
Impossibly long smooth thrusts that seemed to slide up inside me almost to my heart and with a regularity that could have been timed by a metronome. The sensation was unbearable, exquisitely pleasurable and I wanted more, I wanted you to move harder and faster, I wanted you to keep doing it and doing it and doing it as a slow tidal wave of pleasure and suspense built up deep within my body.
I lay helplessly beneath you, enthralled by the sensations you were creating within my body, excited by my own submissive helplessness, the weight of your body on mine, the way I was forced to remain spread wide open for your use, the friction of your movements within me, the hard masculine feel of your body riding mine, the hard male shaft that penetrated unbelievably far inwards between my widespread.thighs, impossibly thick and long, driving me half-crazy with excitement and desire and a need to be taken and used.
"Huuhhhh... nnuhhhh... hhuunnhhh." Those gasps came from my mouth without thought, as your cock seemed to plunge even deeper inside me. The top of you brushed up against something deep inside, almost but not quite, hurting, and my entire body shivered on that borderline between pleasure and pain.
"Oh fuck, yes... yes yes yes." You seemed somehow, if that was possible, to be fucking me even harder than you had been before.
I could sense your excitement increasing. Inside me, you cock seemed to be swelling and engorging, larger than before, huge inside me as you thrust and thrust and thrust, your cock spearing into me. Impaling me. Taking me. You were taking me, and I wanted to be taken. I wanted you to sheathe yourself inside me, I wanted you to take your pleasure with me, and I was yours. Completely yours, helpless beneath you, possessed by your urgency, possessed by the driving power of your thrusts, the sheer force with which you were using me, and I revelled in that use. That subjection to your desires, knowing that using me like this gave you such pleasure, such enjoyment, and seeing your face looking down at me, I could see that pleasure written across your face as you took me.
Your body over me, on me, your thighs spreading me wide, your cock thrust deep, sliding up inside me again and again, rigid friction that filled me where I clasped you, your body moving, as you thrust yourself into me, and I knew that thrusting, that rigid shaft within me, frictioning thickly against the tight-clasping walls of my sex, that was what was bringing you so much pleasure, just as you were bringing me pleasure. Pleasure? That surrender to you was ecstasy.
"Ohhhh... ohhhh..." My own moans filled my little bedroom, my excitement reaching a new peak as I lie beneath you. I strained against you, my back arching upwards, my body slick with sweat, my breath coming in hoarse panting gasps and wild little sobs and moans and cries that emerged uncontrolled from my mouth.
"Ohhhh... ohhhhhh." This was sex? This was love? This was what it was like to be taken by a man? I couldn't get enough of what you were doing to me, and I wanted more. More? I wanted everything, and I opened myself completely to you, giving myself, my body, my heart, everything, as you made love to me.
"Oh fuck... fuck..." You groaned your pleasure, your enjoyment, driving you engorged length hard up inside me, penetrating so deeply, again again, and I was sure you were reaching my heart. You thrust, groaning. You paused, holding yourself deep inside me, his body straining against hers, his pelvis pressed firmly up against her, holding yourself there. Looking up at his face above her, I could see the urgency, the desire, the need. His expression changed abruptly. His body jerked hard against hers, he groaned deeply and I's eyes widened as she felt his shaft begin to throb and pulse within her body.
There was that heart-stopping moment when I realized what was happening as you began to ejaculate. Your cock impaled me, spearing high, thick and rigidly hard, a steely shaft of male flesh driven to the hilt inside me. Your eyes looked down into mine, you grunted, straining against me, and I felt your cockshaft throb where I clasped you within me. You throbbed, your body strained against me, pressed up firmly against me where we joined, and for the first time ever, your semen spurted out deep within me, flooding me with your emissions.
Your first spurting ejaculation erupted within me, but it was only the first. My eyes opened wide, my mouth opened wide, a rounded "O" of surprise, as your shotgun-like blasts erupted, bursting inside me, flooding my sex with your emissions, your entire body straining and heaving against mine with the violence of your culmination. You moved, withdrew a little as you continued to spurt within me, and then your drove yourself up inside me again, so that my body juddered with the violence of that impact.
"Uuhhhhhh." I groaned, my body reacting for me, without thought, as you speared me with your cock. Those spurts? I'd seen you take that condom off, and you were ejaculating inside me. I knew the risk, that risk you were taking with me, and I was scared. Scared, and wildly, incredibly, excited, and my body knew what it was for. My body knew I was there for your cock to sheathe itself in, for your semen to flood, and my body reacted, drawing me knees back, open myself wide to your while at the same time I clamped down on your length, squeezing your tightly.
Milking you. I didn't know that was what I was doing, but I was milking your cock.
"Fuck," you groaned. "Oh fuck." Your expression changed, your eyes widened, your crushed me beneath you, and you groaned again, wordless pleasure, as your hot fluid spurts continued to erupt within me, flooding me with your semen.
"Ohhh Fuck" you groaned, "take it take it take it."
I was already on the edge of something I didn't know, and those words, your shaft pulsing and spurting inside me, sent me over the edge, and that wave that had been building and building and building inside me crested and broke at last. My back arched, my hands clutched at you, my body quivered helplessly as the throes of my first climax washed through my body, overwhelming me with an ecstasy I'd never imagined as you drove hard up inside me, holding yourself there. Golden pleasure washed through my body in a long slow wave, filling me, blotting out everything except the incredible sensations.
"Ohhhhooohhhoohhhhh." I moaned, a long warbling wordless cry of sheer pleasure as my body arched beneath you, and I climaxed while your body rode mine, as you jerked against me spasmodically, your shaft continuing to throb and pulse inside me, on and on until you relaxed at last, your body suddenly limp. I whimpered softly as the golden pleasure continued to wash through me, slowly subsiding as I gasped for breath, clinging to you, and then we were both still, both breathing hard.
Afterwards, you held me in your arms, and I slept there, all night, and when I woke in the morning, I was still in your arms, you were still in my bed, with me, and it hadn't been a dream. It wasn't a dream when you woke up, and you looked at me and smiled, and then, a long time, and many whispered words of love later, we made love, slowly and gently. Afterwards, a long time afterwards, we showered together, and then we made love again. And again.
You moved in with me a month later.
I sit there, in that Spanish Café, waiting for you. Remembering. I can't help thinking of you. I can't stop myself thinking of you. Of you and me, and now it's that that first night I'm remembering. It's that last night. Remembering last week, before you left. Before I knew. Before my dreams were shattered. Last Thursday night, I loved you, and I knew you loved me. Last Thursday night was our anniversary. Our first anniversary. A year to the day since that first meeting. Since that first night together.
So many firsts, with you, and that was a year ago, now. A year ago last week, and I wonder if you remember. When we met I was eighteen, and now I'm nineteen. When we met, I was a girl, and you made a woman of me. When we met, I'd never been in love, and now I am, and my love for you has never been more real. I can't think of a life without you, but know that after tonight, I'll have too.
Now, waiting for you. I don't want to think of that, and I'm not sure now which is worse. Thinking of us, last week, when I was so happy, knowing now that it was all a lie. Or thinking of tonight, and what will happen.
I'd rather remember last week, at least for a few minutes, and my mind won't stop. Can't stop, my thoughts whirling, spinning out of control, trying to think of what went wrong. Of why this is happening to me. Why this pain? What did I ever do to deserve this? What did I ever do to deserve this pain, this agony, but I know there's no answer.
Perhaps there never will be an answer, and I know our story is coming to an end. We're on the last page of our chapter, and for a moment, only a moment, I do my best to turn the pages of my mind back.