no clue what to put here, i doubt anyones gonna see this anyways.
its been too long and im not even going to lie. okay? im fuckinggg scared i thought i was better but im not so sure now.
i want to be better. i just dont know how thats possible when i've been dissociating my whole life, i cant just leave my past that i dont remember very well behind me because there are other people who remember things, who remember me, and a lot of the time i have no clue who they are or who they were to me.
im not very sure. ive never been able to form any sense of self because my memory starts and stops and starts again while blocking out huge periods of time completely, none of this shit has ever been continuous. i relied on the people around me for some sort of identity but
i dont really know anymore. i wish i didnt have to be perceived
i wish i knew how to proceed