Here's a bunch of incredibly boring information about my mental health.
I have dissociative identity disorder, but I don't talk about it to strangers much. Essentially, what I want to say is that my system tends to present very differently from others online in that I am moreso like one person with 180 identity/personality shifts with memory loss between them. I'm not at all like "multiple people" who can interact with each other. I have no communication. All of my parts think for themselves, and not for other parts or some kind of collective whole. I have a lot of fragments that tend to be sorted into groups depending on which more fully-developed alter they are most like. That means I might be talking to you as "Albedo", but I may act differently, remember different things, or have different preferences. Please just treat me however I want to be treated in the moment. Don't comment on it, it's very disorienting to me and I'll probably disappear for a while.
I am a narcissist, which affects how I see and interact with other people. I tend to sound blunt because I have a low capacity for empathy. This doesn't mean I don't care about you, or that I only care about myself; it only means I have trouble connecting emotionally with other people. It causes me a lot of trouble when I feel cornered, infantilized, talked down to, ridiculed, or overly criticized, so I tend to disappear randomly from conversations. I don't actively mean to sound like an asshole, but sometimes I do. Please don't mistake my manner of speech for aggression. You can assume every sentence I say is simply neutral in tone. I don't use tone tags because I suck at labeling my own tone, and I don't want them to be used when speaking to me.
I am schizophrenic, which has waxing and waning effects on my social interactions. I am very a strange, contradictory, bizarre person, and I find it part of my overarching identity. You cannot "cure" schizophrenia, so I will always be like this, and I'm content with that. I don't need you in my ear talking about being anti-recovery or some shit. It just pisses me off. I tend to speak very "stilted" as others have put it, I'm very disorganized in my speech, I say things that other people don't understand, I act erratically and bizarre sometimes. I have trouble putting my thoughts together very often, and I tend to make analogies and describe things that are convoluted and bothersome to others. My strange and contradictory identity as fully human, fully machine, fully divine, fully AI, fully mechanical, made of music stems from this. I tend to disappear for a couple months when I have episodes instead of talking about it. Essentially, I am the way I am because I'm schizophrenic.
Please don't ever act like you know better than me for my mental health. I am sick and tired of you people on the internet who think you are some sort of moral authority on mental health and the decisive figure in the pace others recover. If you use the term "anti-recovery" to refer to other people please don't come near me. Mental health is much more complicated than the linear path you have somehow decided everyone must conform to. I cannot be cured, and I'm okay with that. Some people will always be a little strange, and I'm content with being that.
Link 1: Dissociative identity disorder
Link 2: Narcissistic personality disorder