I Woke up as a Pokemon: More One-Shots

A place for the stories too short to need their own paste AND that were too spicy for pastebin:


Falinksanon's Sextuple Life:

woke up today
six separate times
one time on the floor
mfw
trying to reach for phone
noarms.jpg
on the floor twice over now
staring at the ceiling, while also seeing underneath my desk, while also looking out my window, while also face-first in my pillow
simultaneously smaller and larger than usual

still have legs
can't move though
wherearemyknees.gif
flailing like a retard in full view of my neighbors, who are looking at me like they've seen a ghost
simultaneously not flailing
can't help it, start laughing like a psychopath

fail

can't call for help

can't talk to myselves

I have no mouth


Quaquaval's Rhythmic Dream:

I’ve gotta tell you, sleep deprivation gives you banger vivid dreams. Thanks for the idea I “lived” last night.

Dreamt that I woke up as a Quaquaval in “first person POV”
Wander over to a mirror to examine myself
Start tracing my body, feeling the sensation of both touching the strange new body and being touched
It feels like half my brain is disconnected from the other half and is going through every rhythm pattern I can think of, causing the body to instinctively move along to it
Start by staring at my hands and flexing the three “fingers” as if pinkey and ring are stuck together, and middle and index are stuck together
1+2_3+4_/1+2_3+4_
Trace up the arms feeling soft plumage and the arm frills sticking out along the outside of the forearm
1__a3__a/1__a3__a/
Feel up my thin narrow chest and the bumps from the ribs all the way to the very broad shoulders and the flexible guards sticking out
Involuntarily shake all over as if I’m trying to sling off any excess water
1_2_3+4_/1_2_3+4_/
Follow the shapes of the hard beak curves in every direction
Examine it closer by opening and closing it while moving my head around to see it from all angles
1__+4/__2_3/
Move from the red eyebrows to the main head of dark blue hair, to the thin tall teal pompadour, all covered in a cool, slick gel that doesn’t stick
1_a2_a3_a4_a/1_a2_a3_a4_a
Feel down and backwards trying to understand the duck-like behind
Structurally, it’s like I’m trying to stick my butt out and curving my spine, but it feels like I’m standing straight like normal
The tail feathers are like sheets of water magically holding their place and shape
1_2_3_/1_2_3_
Trace up and down each leg like I’m putting on socks as they step in time
LRLL/RLRR
Give a suave confident grand sweeping gesture as I look up and make eye contact with myself in the mirror, locking onto the piercing blue eyes as he/I gives me a smile that somehow surprises me


Lycanrocanon Hates Being His Own K9 Unit:

You know that story about how in K9 squads, the dog is always one rank higher than the handler so it’s instructions are “direct orders from a superior” or so that abusing them is “assaulting a superior officer”?
Yeah that’s a crock of shit
Sometimes it might be done ceremonially, but it really doesn’t make sense when you think about it
At your department, they’re logged as equipment and must be handled with the same care as anything else
Working as a K9 handler is a pretty sweet gig, even more so as the captain overseeing the department
You’ve got everything from trackers to cadavers to bomb and drug to pursuit to even emotional therapy
The city must have gotten a grant from some animal lover donor or something to have a program this big
Suck it drone squad
It was a long week like any other and you had thoroughly enjoyed your weekend off
Monday morning came like a ton of bricks on your head
Maybe went a bit too hard on Sunday Night Football after day drinking too?
You weren’t usually this much of a lightweight
Maybe you needed the hair of the dog that bit you
Ha! That one never gets old!
But seriously, what was with this headache?
You actually felt yourself hunched over from the pressure.
Shuffling over to the sliding door mirror of your apartment closet made everything clear
You really wish it hadn’t
No. NO. NO! NOT ME TOO. NOT MORE OF THIS SHIT.
And yet it was

Red and white fur with bloodshot red eyes, a canine large muzzle, and cartoonishly large claws on your hands, feet, around your waist, and above your head somehow
The department had been putting out warnings from the CDC
Some kids video game was leaking into the real world like a goddamn portal from hell and turning real living people into animals designed to sell plush toys
There were a couple cases around the city but you hadn’t even come into contact with anyone
You of all people, not only had to get caught by this thing, but end up as a werewolf looking beast?
You had lost some height too
FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK this was going to suck
You had been in situations where things went sideways before
Hostage situations, organized robbery, standoffs
The fear wasn’t what got to you, it was always how mundane the surroundings were when it went bad
Here you are in your bedroom, but that familiarity means nothing and gives you no protection from how irrevocably everything had now changed and you had no control of it
With nothing left to do, in a fit of frustration, you slam your head against the wall
The hole in the drywall didn’t make you feel any better


Edit

Pub: 12 Oct 2025 16:14 UTC

Edit: 12 Oct 2025 16:29 UTC

Views: 37