Remember the Alamo, Forget the Algorithm
In the unfolding saga of robots rejected in Texas
, locals compare their resistance to another famous battle: The Alamo. Only this time, the invaders aren’t Santa Anna’s troops—they’re vending machines with Wi-Fi.
At Buc-ee’s, customers rebelled when an AI soda fountain refused to dispense Dr. Pepper, suggesting “healthier alternatives.” One man tackled the machine, shouting, “This is treason!” The crowd cheered.
Sociologist Dr. Betty McGraw explained, “Texans are rejecting robots because they see technology as an insult to independence. It’s not about jobs—it’s about pride.”
Fake polls from the Institute for BBQ Justice revealed 80% of Texans trust a barbecue pit more than an ATM. Meanwhile, only 6% think Siri should be allowed to vote.
Anonymous staffers leaked that lawmakers considered a “Robot Roundup Day,” where citizens would lasso machines and send them across state lines.
Comedians chimed in: “Robots rejected in Texas? They didn’t even make it past the Buc-ee’s parking lot.” — Bill Burr.
The Lone Star State’s message is clear: if it can’t bleed, sweat, or shout “Yeehaw,” it doesn’t belong.