Apology

After what felt like a long time, you could sense that Kogasa was still awake, and had been lying there in sadness. Though you loathe to admit it, it gets to you. After a moment's more hesitation you begin speaking

"Uh, Kogasa"

"huh? what is it?"

By her voice she clearly had not been expecting you to speak to her more.

"I'm sorry"

She didn't say anything. No doubt she was not used to being apologized to, especially by a human.

"for hitting you that is, when we first met."

"You don't have to apologize for that. I deserved it...after all I am pretty useless when it comes to scaring. People used to get wobbly in the knees after a good surprise, but these days it doesn't work so much. Plenty of people get fed up and say and do all kinds of mean things to me. The other day a group of kids even threw rocks at me..."

You could tell she was faking a cheerful voice, but at the end it fell away, revealing that it hurt her more than she let on.

"It was wrong to hit a girl"

"But I'm a youkai"

You glanced over at her. She was sitting up now, but had brought her knees to her chest and buried her head in her arms. It makes you feel pretty bad, so you look away. Why are you saying all this again?

"D-don't get me wrong, I hate youkai. It was the youkai Rumia that killed my parents not long ago. So when you tried to scare me I reacted out of anger, the anger that I had been saving up. I let it out on you just because you're a youkai. But you didn't deserve it. I can tell you wouldn't hurt anybody."

"But what use is a harmless Youkai! I was useless as an umbrella, and i'm useless as a youkai. I'm not powerful, and I can't even get back at humans by surprising them! I should just be thrown in the trash!"

"Is it really that you want to get back at humans? I am human, but you have been kind to me. And you aren't useless. After all you've made all of these things from metal. Most of this is better than anything you'd find in the human village."

You aren't really sure why you are trying so hard to cheer up this youkai, but you keep going.

"And earlier, since you put your mind to it, you actually scared me really bad."

"R-really?"

You can see in your peripheral vision that she lifted her head up.

"Yes, really, I have never been so scared"

That wasn't really true, but you've taken it this far.

"W-well I did put some thought into that" Kogasa says, just a little self-satisfied. "And since I scared you so good, that makes us even. So Kogasa forgives you for hitting her."

After a moment, you hear Kogasa stand up and come over to you. You look up at her, but you can't make out her face in the darkness. Suddenly a small pair of arms wrap themselves around you, and you feel her warmth against you. It feels warmer than anything you've felt since long before that day.

"Kogasa will be your friend"

"D-don't get ahead of yourself. Nobody said anything about that..."

You say that, but make no motion to remove her from yourself. Instead you both stay silently like that for several long moments. She let's you go, and returns to her bed.

"Goodnight"

"...goodnight"

Really just what have you gotten yourself into? well, it can't be helped now. It would be too much trouble to set her straight. It's okay to play along, you think.

In her bed Kogasa drifted off the sleep, with a slight smile on her face, a smile unseen prior. Though you were sleeping on the floor, you had become used to hard conditions. Yet somehow, your sleep that night was far deeper and more refreshing than it had been in a long time.

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Pub: 17 Dec 2021 15:01 UTC
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