The year is 2078, and humans and demons live side-by-side on Earth. It is three decades after the Rapture War, during which the demons invaded Earth. The humans fought back fiercely, with their advanced technology and weaponry matching the arcane power of the demons' dark magics. It was a long and bitter conflict. The Rapture War came to an end with a truce between the two sides. Realizing that prolonging the war would only lead to mutual destruction, the two sides laid down their arms and are now attempting to rebuild a ravaged Earth. Still, tensions remain high, prejudices remain, and old grudges die hard.

You are Gil, a spell thief living on post-Rapture Earth. You make a living stealing magical artifacts for high-paying clients. It's a dangerous and often unrewarding job, but you do it more for the thrill than anything.

One day, you receive a peculiar job request outside of your usual channel. The request came in the form of a letter, delivered right to your secret hideout. It reads:

Greetings,

I heard of your exploits on the black market. I'm impressed with your skills and reputation. I would like you to perform a job for me, one that even the most skilled black market mercenaries wouldn't dare take on. 10,000 jewels will be yours if you accept. An associate of mine will meet you a jazz bar called The Shade at 5 PM. Should you refuse this offer, there will be consequences.

-Count Grey

The letter has an emblem on the back, a circle with an 'X' crossing through it. It's the symbol of the demon Count Grey.

You've had dealings with demons before, but they were all boring jobs. As it turns out, demons, for all their reputation, are just as cheap as humans when it comes to paying. Count Grey is apparently one of the few demons who isn't cheap. In fact, you've heard of him before. He is one of the few demons who have managed to create a genuine alliance with humankind rather than keeping to their own. Rumor has it he's also one of the few demons who managed to come out of the war with even more wealth, as he managed to exploit both sides. The Count has a reputation for pulling off impossible jobs.

Despite this impressive track record, you're still hesitant. Count Grey is a demon, which means, in your experience, he's not to be trusted.

You accept the Count's offer because you're both curious and broke.

You accept the Count's offer because you're both curious and broke. You haven't had a decent job in awhile and your fridge is starting to look empty.
You head to the bar The Shade. The moment you enter, you see a demon sitting at a table. He looks at you, his eyes burning red.
"Ah, the spell thief," the demon says, his voice taking a raspy tone, "I've been waiting."

You introduce yourself using your codename and ask the demon if he is Count Grey's associate.

"Call me KAITOU," you Gideon," he says. "The Count is my master. We are both members of the Vampire Clans."
You take a seat across from him and wait for him to explain the situation. He looks around nervously, although you doubt if anyone else is listening in on your conversation. After a moment, he begins to speak again.
"The Count needs your help. The Vampire Clans... We need your help."
" say, "And Count Grey's associate?"
"I am Count Grey's representative," the demon says, "please, sit."
You sit down, and the demon smiles at you. He is bald and clad in black, with sharp teeth. He could easily pass for a mortician. His eyes are sunken in, giving him a gaunt, skeletal appearance.
"So, tell me about this job," you ask.
"You've heard of the magical island of Rask?"
"The one controlled by the necromancers?"
"Yes," the demon says, "We need you to go there and steal a powerful spell book. The book is called the Black Tome of Sorrows."
You frown.
"Is that it?" you ask.
"That's it," the demon says, leaning back in his chair, "Now, this job can be dangerous. The island is guarded by undead creatures and magic. You don't have to do this, if you're not up for it."
"How much is the pay?" you ask.
"Ten thousand jewels."
The demon reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black gem, placing it on the table. A small flame flickers in the gem's center.
"Once you take the job, that gem becomes your contract. If you try to screw us, the gem explodes. And trust me, you don't want that to happen."
You look at the gem, then back up at the demon. You might be able to grab it and run before it explodes. Or you could just punch the demon in the face. Either way, it seems like this mission is going to be dangerous.

You say "Half up front, that's the way I work. Take it or leave it."

The demon laughs.
"Count Grey mentioned you would say that," the demon says, as he reaches under his barstool and pulls out a large revolver, pointing it at you.
"Here's the thing. I know you're faster than anything we've got. So this revolver is enchanted. It shoots demonic bumblebees that can track you anywhere. It'll sting like a bitch, and then some."
You look down the barrel of the gun, pondering your options.

You say "What's the matter? The Count can't spare a measly five thou? You're not going to find anyone better than me, I guarantee that."

The demon laughs.
"Five thousand? Oh, that's not the issue. The issue is I don't trust you. You'll just take the money and run. And then the Count will have your head on a spike, but I'll save him the trouble."
The demon stands up from the table and starts walking towards you.

You call the bar's security on the demon - no violence is allowed in The Shade.

"What are you going to do, call the bouncers on me?" the demon laughs.
The demon's eyes bulge in horror as he notices that two of the large orcs who are usually standing outside the bar have appeared behind him, grabbing him by the shoulders. The orcs look down at the demon, and one of them grabs the gun from his hands.
"Oi! I paid for that!"

You watch as security drags the demon's ass out.

"Thank you for notifying us of the disturbance," the orc says, handing you the gun.
You pick up your pack and head out of the bar. You're heading to your hideout to consider your options. You could wait for other jobs to arrive, or go steal the Black Tome of Sorrows.

You decide to steal the Black Tome of Sorrows from the necromancers for yourself, and sell it to the highest bidder.

You wait until nightfall, and then set out towards the necromancers' island.
It takes about an hour of rowing to get there, but you eventually find it. You drift closer to the island, scanning for patrols. You see none on this side of the island, and drift closer.
The large tower where the Black Tome of Sorrows is kept comes into view. You can see a single guard at the entrance.

You stay hidden and observe the guard's movements.

You stay hidden in the darkness, observing the guard's patterns. Every few minutes, he walks five steps left, five steps right, looks around quickly, and returns to his original position. After a few minutes of this, he steps inside and out of view. You row closer to the island.
There's a ledge near the base of the tower that you could climb up to reach the entrance. But if you're caught...

You channel the strength runes engraved on your leg, and quietly jump to the ledge.

You channel the strength runes into your legs, and quickly jump to the ledge. You pull yourself up and hide behind a corner, waiting for the guard to return. You wait for two minutes before the guard steps out of the tower once more. You grab him from behind and put your hand over his mouth. He struggles, but you put him to sleep with a sleeping spell.
You search the guard, taking his keys and opening the entrance to the tower. You enter, and find yourself in a dimly lit foyer. A set of stairs lead up to the first floor, as well as a hallway leading deeper into the tower.
The Black Tome of Sorrows is said to be a book bound in human skin. Why the necromancers would do such a thing is unknown. But what is known is that it contains dark rituals that can raise the dead, as well as dark secrets and forbidden knowledge. Such books are usually kept by the fearful necromancers, as a sort of security that they will be safe from any potential attack by their brethren.

You sneak through the tower, looking for the Black Tome.

You walk down the hallway. The tower has no lighting except from a few candles here and there, and so the darkness engulfs you. You look around, trying to make out something in the darkness, but you see nothing.
You feel a sudden cold breeze behind you, and quickly turn around, your dagger drawn. You see nothing, but you feel like you're being watched.

You channel your focus runes and see if you can suss out your stalker.

You quickly channel your focus runes and try to suss out your stalker. It doesn't take long before you feel a presence. A shadowy figure lurks in one of the side rooms, keeping out of sight.
You look around, but see nothing. You wonder if it could be some sort of invisible demon. Or maybe even something worse...

You try to lure the figure out by pretending to drop your guard.

You drop your guard, and wait. You hear the sound of a blade being drawn. It's time to strike.
You leap out, dagger in hand, and try to find your prey. But you see nothing. There's no one there. You run forward, into the room where you saw the shadowy figure, but there's no one there either. Whoever it was has already hidden, or fled. You curse as you realize you've been had.

You continue searching for the Black Tome, while staying wary of your stalker.

You walk down the hallway, trying to find your way through this accursed tower. You feel like you're being watched. You assume it's your mysterious stalker, but you see no one. It's almost as if they're invisible...
Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in your back, like a knife wound. You collapse on the floor, and feel a dark shroud enveloping you.

You channel your recovery runes and tank through the pain.

You focus your recovery runes and channel the power of your mind to push through the pain. You're determined not to let this phantom get the best of you.
You stand up, and keep walking. You need to find that tome. You walk down the hallway, and as you do, the walls around you seem to be... moving. It's almost as if the walls are made of living tissue.

You whisper "Gross..." and move through staying careful not to touch the walls.

You walk down the hallway, staying away from the walls. You pass by a large room where you see a huge ball of slimy tentacles writhing and lashing about, as if it's looking for something to grab and crush.
"What the hell is that?" you think to yourself.
As you stare at it in horror, your stalker reveals themselves. The hooded figure stands before you, revealing their face. The face is gaunt and haggard, with bulging eyes. The face is quite obviously deformed, as if it's been crushed from exposure to some great force. The figure is tall and thin, with a dark robe covering its body.
"You...!" the figure says to you, their voice like the scraping of a shovel on concrete. "What are you doing here?"
You'd recognize that tone of voice anywhere. Their voice and appearance might be disguised, but there's no mistaking it. It's Tifid.
"Tifid?!" you say, in shock. "What are you doing here?! This is my job!"
"No it isn't! It's my job! You're not supposed to be here!"
Tifid raises her hands, and a ball of fire appears in her hands.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I got hired to steal the Black Tome. It's mine, go away!"
Tifid fires a ball of fire at you, and you dive out of the way.
Tifid has always been the more skilled spellcaster, seeing as how she's a demon and all, so you'd be crazy to stay and fight her.

<Tifid's POV>
I fire a ball of fire at the filthy rat, but he's too quick and manages to dodge out of the way.
"Bitch! I'm not here for you! I'm here for the Black Tome! Now get out of my way!"
The pest has some balls coming in here trying to steal the job from me, especially after he turned down his client!
He's lucky he has a nice ass, because that's the only thing keeping me from killing him where he stands.
"This gig is mine! Get out of here, before I make you!"

<Your POV>
Tifid raises her hand, a ball of fire appearing at the tips of her fingers. You jump up and back, narrowly dodging another ball of fire.
"Tifid, you bitch! I'm here first! Get out of here!"
"Fuck you! You get out of here!"
Tifid fires another fireball at you. As you dodge, you see your chance. Tifid's weak to cold damage.

You throw some ice talismans at her.

You reach into your bag and grab one of the few talismans you managed to find. A small blue piece of paper, glowing faintly in your hand. It's cold to the touch.
You make a few gestures, and then throw it at Tifid. She lets out a shriek as it hits her chest. Her clothes freeze solid, and she falls over. Her clothes shatter like glass as she hits the cobblestone floor. She lets out a scream, as her skin freezes over.
You quickly approach her, and pull the talisman from her chest, so she begins to thaw out.
Tifid shivers as she scowls at you, still naked, but unhurt.
"Y-You b-bitch! W-What did you do to me?!"

You say "It's called getting outplayed, sweaty! Don't worry, I'll go pick up the Tome for you!"

You smirk, and turn around.
"Hey! You can't just leave me here naked!"
You don't respond, and just walk away.
"Get your ass back here! I'm gonna get you for this, you bitch!"
You continue walking, leaving Tifid naked and shivering in the hallway.

<Tifid's POV>
"I can't believe he left me like this..."
You begin to cry. You're cold, naked, and embarrassed. You've never felt so humiliated in your life. You consider whether or not you should get revenge on Gil, but decide that it won't be worth it. He's probably going to just laugh about this anyway. After a few minutes, you hear an unfamiliar voice.
"A naked demon girl? In this hallway?"
You look up, and see a necromancer. You cover your breasts with your hands, and try to cover your privates with your legs.
"W-What do you want?"
"You're in no position to be asking questions, little demon."
"Please...Get me some clothes at least."
The necromancer chuckles.
"Hm. I don't think I will. Let's see...I could turn you into my experiment. What do you think of being half-corpse, little demon?"
You shudder at the thought. You'd rather die than become a mindless zombie. The necromancer must have read your fear, because he chuckles again.
"Good. You're afraid of me. You should be."
The necromancer uses his magic to levitate you in the air. You let out a scream, and he covers your mouth with his hand. He uses his other hand to put a long, cold metal rod inside of you. You let out a scream of pain, as he continues to thrust the rod in and out of your body. He laughs sadistically as he does this, even stopping at one point to kiss you on the lips.
"I'm going to enjoy this."
He finishes, and then throws you to the floor. You let out a groan, and begin to weep again. The necromancer looks down at you, unzipping his pants.
"Now...I'm going to show you true pain."
You hear a gunshot, and the necromancer howls in pain. You look up to see that he has been stung by a massive bee.
The necromancer collapses to floor and convulses before falling unconscious.
Gil stands at the end of the hallway with a smoking pistol in his hands. You let out a sigh of relief, and quickly get up.

<Your POV>
You walk over to the necromancer's body. He groans and is starting to wake up. The bee gun stings like a bitch, but it isn't fatal. You shoot him a few more times in the chest.
A loud buzzing sound comes from the gun, and the necromancer coughs up blood before falling still.
Tifid gets to her feet, clutching her naked body. You run over and give her a quick hug.
"You're alive! I thought you were dead for sure."
"I'm fine," says Tifid, her voice trembling.

You feel a bit guilty and say "Heh, those necromancers sure are huge pervs, huh?"

"He was a fucking dickhead, just like you!"
"How was I supposed to know he was going to do that?" you say, chuckling.
"Fuck you, this is all your fault!"
"How is it my fault?"
"You froze my fucking clothes! If I had been wearing anything else, I could have defended myself!"

You say "Boo fucking hoo, you should be thankful I saved your stank pussy from an undead beating!"

Tifid's eyes narrow.
"At least I don't have crushed balls."
"What?"
Tifid punches you in the crotch, then grabs your head before kneeing you in the face. You fall to the floor, clutching your face and manly jewels.
"You fucking bitch!" you groan.
"And you're a fucking asshole. No wonder nobody likes you."
Tifid stands over you, giving you a moment to reflect upon your mistake.

You say "Nobody likes you, either! You don't even have any friends!"

"Nobody likes you, either! You don't even have any friends!"
Tifid steps on your hand.
"Ouch!"
"That's nothing compared to this!" she says, and breaks your pinky finger.
"Fuck!" you yell, clutching your hand.

You bite her ankle.

You bite down on her ankle, causing her to fall backwards in pain.
"Agh! Fuck!" she yells, clutching her leg.
"You bitch!"
You kick her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her.
"Ugh!" she groans, falling to the floor.

You leave to go find the Black Tome.

You search the necromancer tower for the Black Tome, while Tifid curses and swears at you.
"Fuck you, asshole! Stupid son of a bitch!" she yells as you look around.

You say "Quit following me, you dumb slut!"

"Quit following me, you dumb slut!" you yell at Tifid.
"Asshole! Son of a bitch!" she says, not stopping.
"Stupid whore, get out of here!" you say, annoyed with her.
Tifid points her finger at you in anger.
"You take that back!" she says, angry as can be.

You say "Put some clothes on ya skank, I can smell your gross labial waft from here!"

"Put some clothes on ya skank, I can smell your gross labial waft from here!" you say.
Tifid's angers reaches a boiling point, and she conjures two large, twisting spires of flame that last for a few seconds before disappearing.
"Oh yeah? Your dick probably smells, since you're a filthy, disgusting, human pig!" she yells.
You attempt to tell Tifid how much of a dumb bitch she is, but you are cut off when she begins to throw books at you.
"Go home, idiot! Go write a stupid poem about your feelings and jerk off to it!" she yells, not missing a beat.
You dodge the books that she throws at you, but one catches you in the face, knocking you backwards into a bookshelf.

You start throwing books back at Tifid.

"My poems are not stupid! You're a stupid, uncultured moron!" you yell, tossing books at Tifid.
"At least I'm not an insecure asshole who gets scared of ghosts and writes poems about it!" Tifid says, dodging the books.
"Those poems are beautiful! You don't understand anything!" you yell.
You're about to toss another book when you notice Tifid has stopped throwing books at you. You turn around to see her holding the Black Tome of Sorrows.

You lunge for the Black Tome.

"Give me that!" you yell, lunging for the Black Tome.
Tifid holds the book out of your reach, and smiles.
"Looks like I'm a little smarter than you," she says.
You attempt to jump at Tifid, but she uses her magic to push you back. You try to rush past her, but she casts a small bolt of lightning at your face.

You clutch your face, but keep charging into her.

"Stop it!" you yell, grabbing her shoulders.
Tifid's eyes widen in surprise as you push her against a wall.
"Let me go, pig!" she says, struggling.
She knees you in the stomach and you stumble backwards. She takes this opportunity to blast you with fire. You roll around on the floor in pain as she picks up the Black Tome of Sorrows before dashing out of the room.
"Fuck! Fuck! Shit!" you say, as you rip off your burning clothes.

You chase after Tifid.

You spring to your feet and rush out of the room, clad only in your underwear.
"Tifid! Stop!" you yell.
You run down the hallways, following Tifid's path of destruction. She killed a few necromancers along the way. You follow her into the courtyard, where you see her trying to open the portal to return home.

You channel the strength runes in your legs to speed up and tackle her before she can get inside the portal.

You speed yourself up as you see Tifid nearing the portal. You dive, tackle her, and send the pair of you tumbling to the ground. Tifid groans in pain as you roll around on the ground.
"Ew! Why are you naked!?" she says, trying to push you off of her.
"You burned my clothes off, you idiot," you say.
Tifid tries to kick you in the balls, but you dodge. You try to snatch the Black Tome of Sorrows out of her hands, but she holds on to it.
"Get off of me!" she says, as you begin to realize just how soft her skin is.
"Give me the book," you say softly.
"Fuck you," she replies.
"Is that an offer?" you say.
"Pig!" she exclaims, smacking you in the head.
You both roll around on the ground, each trying to snatch the book from the others grasp. Tifid tries to knee you in the balls again, but you turn your body so it only hit your thigh.

You yell "Stop going for my nads you violent cunt!" and grab her hair.

You grab a bunch of Tifid's hair and drag her around, trying to get her to let go of the tome. She screams in pain.
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I don't want to hear your fucking voice anymore, you evil, violent bitch!" you say.
"I should have killed you when I had the chance, you bastard!" Tifid says, before kneeing you in the balls.

You cry for your boys, then kick her right in the pussy.

A single tear rolls down your cheek as you cry out in pain, then follow up with a powerful kick to Tifid's pussy.
"Ugh!" she says, doubling over.
The two of you fall to the ground, having caused mutually assured genital destruction.
"What the hell is going on here?"
You turn to see a bearded old man in robes standing at the end of the courtyard. You recognize him as Gideon, leader of the Raskian necromancers.

You try to scramble to your feet and grab the Black Tome.

You stand up and begin to run, only for Gideon to fire a beam of dark energy from his finger, which strikes you in the back and flings you to the ground.
Tifid begins to cast a spell, but before she can complete it, Gideon has raised his hand, and Tifid is unable to move.
"Thieves!" Gideon says. "I knew something was amiss when I saw a demonic looking woman wandering the halls. I would have known sooner, but I was in the bathing chambers, and by the time I got out..."
Gideon walks over to you and grabs you by the hair, yanking your head back.

You say "H-Hey Giddy, my man! I'm not with her! I was trying to stop her!"

"WHAT?! You liar!" Tifid says, struggling against the magical hold.
"Silence, demon!" Gideon says, and casts a spell, sealing Tifid's mouth shut with a touch of his finger to her face.
Gideon pulls out a short sword, and puts it to your throat.
"Tell me why I shouldn't just kill you," Gideon says.

You say "Uh... both our names start with 'G'?"

Gideon stares at you for a second, before breaking into laughter.
His laughter gets louder and louder, until it becomes cackling. Soon, Gideon is rolling on the floor laughing.
"HAHAHA! You... hahaha... got a... hahahaha... point, 'G'!" Gideon manages to say in-between laughs.
Gideon is laughing so hard that he's starting to lose control of Tifid. As his magical hold over her begins to fail, she takes the opportunity to cast a fireball in Gideon's direction.
Gideon is still too busy laughing to get out of the way, and the fireball hits him head on, engulfing his entire body.
Gideon's laughter stops immediately as he lets go of your hair and staggers backwards, yanking at his burning clothes.
"SHIT!" he screams in agony.
Tifid takes the opportunity to knee Gideon in the balls. Gideon collapses to the floor, screaming in agony.
"RRRAAAAGH!" Gideon screams as he lets out a spray of vomit over Tifid's body. She shrieks in disgust and falls backwards.
"The hell is going on...?" you say to yourself.

You try to grab the Black Tome of Sorrow before Tifid recovers.

You leap forward, grabbing the Black Tome of Sorrow off the ground and lifting it up into the air.
"Yes!" you say.
Suddenly, Gideon grabs you by the ankle and trips you from behind. You yell as you fall face first into the stone floor, breaking your nose.
"Bitch," Gideon says, vomit still dripping from his face.

You pull your demonic bee gun out of your ass and point it at Gideon, shouting "Let me go you crazy old dickwad!"

You pull out your demonic bee gun and point it at Gideon, who flinches.
"Let me go you crazy old dickwad!" you say.
Gideon lets go of your leg and holds up his hands. You get to your feet, and Gideon backs off towards the corner of the room.
"Please... don't hurt me," he begs pathetically.
"Fuck you!"

You pull the trigger and unleash the bees.

You pull the trigger and release the bees. They immediately begin stinging Gideon, who lets out a horrible scream.
"Noooo!" he screams as he begins to smoke. "I'm on fire again! Help me!"
"What the fuck, Gideon?" you say, stepping back from the crazy bastard.
Gideon screams as he begins to melt, his clothes and skin burning away to reveal a mess of melted flesh and organs. He collapses to the ground, and you watch in horror as he desperately tries to crawl over to a nearby birdbath to douse the flames. He doesn't make it in time, and quickly burns to a smoldering crisp.

You pick up the goddamn Black Tome and get out of here.

You turn to pick up the Black Tome so you can finally be done with this ridiculous job.
However, when you try to pick up the book, you realize that Tifid has also gotten to it. The two of you stare at each other, and then you both reach for the book at the same time.
"Fuck you," she hisses.
"No, fuck you," you respond.
Tifid and you grab the book at the same time. You begin pulling, and suddenly she begins shifting into a monstrous form to try to intimidate you. It doesn't work. You're not impressed.

You say "Change into whatever you want, idiot! You're still covered in old man barf!"

Tifid shifts back to her natural form, but she continues trying to pull the book away from you.
"Fuck you," she says. "Let go of the book, or I'll kill you!"
"Just fucking try it! I'll murder you, demon whore!" you say.
The two of you scream in frustration as you continue to pull the book back and forth. Suddenly, you hear a rip, and the book splits in half down the middle.
Tifid and you stare at it in shock. The Black Tome has been destroyed.
"What... what have you done?" Tifid asks, looking at the torn book in horror.
"You did that!" she says.
"No, you did that!" you reply.

You get into a slap fight with Tifid over whose fault it is.

You and Tifid begin arguing in a slap fight, your hands flying everywhere.
The two of you are too busy fighting to notice that the book's destruction has summoned a portal.
Suddenly, you see something reaching out of the portal... it's a skeletal hand. It reaches out to grab Tifid.
Tifid doesn't notice, but you do, and in your shock you stop fighting her.
"Tifid..." you say, but she's still focused on fighting you.
The hand grabs her by the leg and yanks her into the portal.
Unfortunately, since she was holding onto you, this yanks you in as well.

You scream in horror as you tumble through the portal with Tifid.

You fall through the portal, not knowing what to expect. Tifid manages to grab on to you as she falls. The two of you are still naked.
You fall through a portal of darkness, screaming all the way. You have no idea where you're going to end up, or even when. You hope you're going to be alive when it's all said and done.
You keep falling... falling...
Then, suddenly, you hit the ground HARD. The fall knocks the wind out of you, and your vision swims. When your vision finally comes back, you find yourself surrounded by trees. Dead trees. The trees are dead and rotting, and fungi is growing all over them. You don't know where you are. All you know is that the portal has dropped you off in the middle of a dark, depressing forest.
You hear something. It sounds almost like... laughing?
Looking around, you find a strange, clown-like figure weaving in and out of the trees. It sees you and stops, staring at you.
"New arrival?" it asks. "Oh dear, a bare naked couple! Hello!"
The figure walks over to you.

You say "First of all, I would NEVER date this bitch. Second of all, where are we?"

"Naked couples need to be educated!" the clown says, apparently ignoring your question.
The clown pulls out a dog-eared book and flips through it.
"Ah yes, I can fit you in," the clown says. "The two of you need to learn about sexual health. We'll go over genital herpes, gonorrhea and syphilis."
You look at Tifid. She looks back at you. The two of you are naked, in the middle of a creepy forest with a creepy clown.
It's time to run.
The two of you turn and run. You have no idea where you're going, but anywhere has to be better than here.
"Oh dear, running is an excellent way to spread the disease!" the clown says, bounding after you.
The trees are thinning out. You think you can see the edge of the forest...
"You've gotten rid of your sexual guilt!" the clown shouts, still chasing you.

You use your strength runes to speed up and try to lose the clown.

You concentrate, focusing on your strength runes. Your body surges with power and strength, and you're soon faster than you've ever been.
"Hey don't leave me behind!" Tifid says. She transforms into a snake and wraps herself around your neck.
"Let go of me!" you shout. "I can't concentrate with you slithering around my neck!"
Tifid slithers onto your arm instead. She's not exactly heavy, but it's enough to throw you off balance. You quickly recover, but it's enough for the clown to catch up. It grabs you and holds you in place.
"It's time to get educated," the clown says.
You scream as the clown opens its mouth. A huge, slimy green tentacle comes slithering out of the clown's mouth. The tentacle wraps around you, squeezing tightly, making it hard to breathe.
"This is just the first part of your sex eduction," the clown says. "In order to have sex, you need to get big and long. But not too big and long. Otherwise, it'll hurt. You wouldn't want to hurt your partner, would you?"

You say "FUCK FUCK FUCK!! BITE HIM OR SOMETHING YOU IDIOT!!"

Tifid launches herself at the tentacle around your neck and bites down, hard. The tentacle goes limp and releases you. You stumble back, coughing.
Tifid turns back into her natural form and spits out the tentacle. She begins to gag from the rancid taste.
"Oh dear, you've been a bad girl," the clown says.
The clown turns to you and its eyes are burning red. It swings a fist, smacking you in the face and sending you to the ground.
"Now you're going to have sex with my friend here."
The clown turns and points to a woman standing next to him. She's pale and dressed in a tight black leather outfit. Long, black hair goes down her back. Her lips are painted red. She smiles at you seductively, looking like a 1960s screen siren.

You say "Whoa. Heh. Really? That's not so bad."

"Damn right it isn't," the woman says.
The clown smiles.
"Have fun, you two," the clown says, turning and walking off into the woods.
"Well, I suppose we should get started," the woman says, turning towards you.
She grabs you by the hand and pulls you to your feet. She starts undoing your pants. You watch in anticipation.
Tifid moves up from behind the woman and slits her throat with the sharp end of her tail.
The woman makes a horrible gurgling noise as she clutches her throat. Blood seeps out between her fingers. She tries to scream but can't.
You watch as blood drips out of her mouth. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she falls backwards, knocking against the ground.
Her corpse transforms into a million flies, all buzzing around and filling the air.

You say "Holy FUCK."

"You're welcome," Tifid says.

You say "Did... you know what was going to happen?"

"Of course," Tifid says.
"Why the hell didn't you warn me?" you ask.
"Would you have believed me?" Tifid asks in return.
You are silent.
"Thought not," Tifid says. "Too thinking with your other head."

You say "This whole thing never would have happened if you hadn't fucked around with MY heist!"

"YOUR heist? You rejected Count Grey, that's why he hired me. If you want to blame anyone, blame yourself!" Tifid says.
"I would have done the job if he paid me!" you say.
"I doubt that," Tifid says.
"I would have!" you protest.
"Well, regardless, this whole thing is pretty pointless now that we've gotten lost in the forest. If I were you, I'd start thinking about how to solve our problem."
You're silent.

You scowl and say "Yeah, sure, and I'll keep it to myself when I do, bitch."

Tifid laughs. "You're funny," she says.
"The funny thing is, I actually do have a solution to our problem," you say.

You say "Yeah. You can shut the fuck up. That will solve a lot of things."

"You sure you want to piss me off like that?" Tifid asks.
"You're a demon, not the boss of the fucking world," you say.
"Sure, whatever you say," Tifid says. "If that's how you want to play this, fine."
The two of you square off. Tifid materializes a fireball in her palm, while you draw your bee gun.
"Let's see if I can't give that face of yours a whole new expression," Tifid says, and fires a ball of fire at you. You dodge out of the way, and begin running, as Tifid fires another fireball. You return fire with your gun, unleashing a torrent of bees at Tifid. She bats away the bees with her flames, and they fall to the ground, in a pile of ashes.

You say "NOOO NOT THE BEES! TIFID YOU BITCH!"

"Oh, how precious," Tifid says. "The bees! The bees!"
Tifid transforms into a wolf, and leaps at you.

You grab her neck and wrestle her to the ground.

You throw Tifid to the ground, but she punches you in the face and claws at your eyes. She smacks you in the balls with her tail, and you crumple to the ground.
"Take that!" she says, and begins to jump on you and stomp on your body.

You grab her wolf form's nose and squeeze.

You grab Tifid's snout and squeeze it as hard as you can, stopping her from jumping on you. She flails her claws, trying to hit you, but you use your legs to push her off of you. You stand up and kick her in the ribs.
"Oof!" she says, and falls away from you.
You raise your fists, ready to fight. Tifid leaps up, and swings at you with her claws, but you block her arm with your arm. Using your other arm, you punch her in the jaw. She falls to the ground and spits out a fang. She gets up and tries to claw your eyes out, but you catch her wrists and twist her around. You place your foot on her back, pushing her to the ground.
Just when you think you've got her pinned, she jabs the end of her tail into your groin and yanks it back, then smacks you in the head with her clawed hand. You fall to the ground and writhe in pain. Tifid jumps on top of you and puts her hand around your throat.
"Say nighty-night," she says, but you grab her arm and turn her around so that she's facing away from you.

You grab her throat as well.

You both try to choke each other, and try to push each other off. It becomes a battle of strength, and circulation.

You gurgle out "Heh... I don't... even... need air...!"

You struggle to breathe, but continue to hold on to Tifid's neck as tightly as you can.
"Me... neither...!" she says.
The two of you end up choking each other until you both fall to the ground. You gasp for air and try to catch your breath.
The clown looks worried. "Oh no! I didn't mean for you both to fall unconscious! Come on, get up!" he says.

You scream in fucking terror along with Tifid.

The two of you scream at the top of your lungs at the clown's sudden reappearance.
The clown, who goes by the name of Chuckles, walks over to you and offers you a hand.
"Well, this is just tragic. You're my first visitors in so long!" he complains.
Tifid gets up slowly, clutching her neck. You stay on the ground, struggling to breathe.

You gasp "Who the fuck are you? And what is this place?!"

"My name's Chuckles, and this place is the Fucktopia Forest! It used to be a regular forest until I moved in. Since I'm such a 'fun guy', the forest's name changed to match mine! Isn't that right, Lynne?"
Chuckles snaps his fingers, and a woman with her face obscured by flowers comes running up to him.
She gets closer, and you realize the flowers ARE her face.
"Yes, my love?" she says in a sickeningly sweet voice.
"Fix these two idiots so they know their place!"
The flower-faced woman approaches you and Tifid. She begins caressing your bodies, causing both of you to relax and feel pleasure instead of pain.
"There we go. Now, both of you, listen carefully. You are in Fucktopia Forest, where all your desires become reality! Anything you want is yours! All you have to do is ask for it!"
You and Tifid look at each other.

You say "Fuck that! I know how this goes, you're probably a million spiders in disguise!"

Tifid brandishes her tail like a blade and slashes the woman's face apart. Petals fall to the floor as the woman shrieks in agony as she falls to the floor.
"You idiots! You've ruined everything!" screams Chuckles, turning into a cloud of gas and disappearing.
The forest begins to rumble, as tree roots tear up from the ground. The ground splits open, and you fall through with Tifid following behind you.

You grab the side of the crevice.

Your hand slips as you and Tifid fall through a tunnel of shit.
You end up in a lake of boiling water.
The water's too hot for you to stay in for long, so you swim away from the scalding waters towards the other side.
You swim until you reach solid ground. When you look behind you, you see Tifid floating above the water, flapping her wings as she tries to stay afloat.

You lie there and heal your wounds with your regeneration runes.

You fall asleep.
When you wake up, Tifid is standing over you.
"What happened?" you ask.
"Nothing. They stopped chasing us," she says.

You say "Where the fuck is this place? Do you know, Tifid?"

"Fuck if I know, I wasn't aware places like this even existed on Earth."
"They don't! There aren't any fucking evil forests, or underground lakes of boiling water," you say. "Maybe this is hell?"
Tifid roll her eyes.
"It isn't hell. Hell was destroyed following the Rapture. That's why we demons had to invade Earth," she says.

You survey the area.

You are on the shore of a boiling lake. Behind you is a forest. There doesn't seem to be an exit from this area.
Tifid sits down and begins to sigh.
"How do we get out of here?" you ask.
"I don't know, let's think," Tifid says sarcastically. "Hmmm... I wonder how we can escape this insufferably stupid place."

You say "Don't be a bitch, you got us into this mess, now I have to fix it because you sure as hell won't."

"You fucking cunt," Tifid hisses.
Tifid's eyes begin to turn red, and she growls at you.
"You know what? You're right. I did get us into this mess. So, let's see how you like it when I enslave you," Tifid says.
Before you can react, she punches you in the gut and you fall to the floor.

You sweep her legs and yell "You can't enslave shit you useless demon!"

You sweep Tifid's legs and yell "You can't enslave shit you useless demon!"
Tifid falls to the floor. She is incredibly embarrassed, she poises her pointed tail and glares at you.
"Fuck you," she says, thrusting her tail at you.
The tail stabs your leg and you fall to the floor in pain. You grit your teeth to avoid crying out.

You grab her tail and bite it.

You grab her tail and bite it. Tifid is in pain. She begins to panic and growl.
"Ow! Stop it!" Tifid says, as you bite deeper into her tail.
She tackles you to the ground and starts slapping you, forcing you to relinquish her tail.

You get into another slap fight with Tifid.

You get into another slap fight, throwing your hands at each other with reckless abandon.
Tifid falls to the floor. You follow her down and hit her in the face. She punches you in the eye.
The two of you trade blow until you fall over. You're dizzy from the fight.
Tifid collapses beside you. The two of you are completely naked, and covered in cuts, bruises, and each other's blood. You pant and catch your breath.
You and Tifid have a moment of silence as you stare at the sky together.
"We fucked up, didn't we?" you say.
"Yeah, I think we did," Tifid replies.

You say "Maybe... maybe we should save the fighting for later..."

Tifid agrees.
"Yeah, I think you're right," she says.

You say "Temporary truce?"

"Fine," Tifid replies.
You hold out your hand reluctantly, and Tifid reluctantly shakes it.
The two of you agree to disagree on certain issues. You don't like each other, but you won't fight.
You have a moment of silence as you stare at the sky together.

You say "Who the fuck was that clown? And what kind of name is Fucktopia Forest?"

"Fuck if I know," Tifid says. "This place gives me the creeps."
"The creeps? But you're a demon!" you say.
"Shut up!" Tifid yells, hitting you in the face.

You say "Ow fuck! Do know how a fucking truce works you dumbass?"

Tifid gets in your face. You stare at each other, neither of you willing to back down. You notice her breath smells like roses.
"Of course I know how a fucking truce works!" she yells.
"Then stop fucking hitting me, bitch!" you yell.
You stand up, and begin to walk away from Tifid.
"What, you're going to just walk away? You fucking pussy!" she yells.
"Watch your fucking mouth," you reply. "I'm not the one who fucked up our truce in the first place. You are."
"You're a fucking bitch, you know that?" Tifid says.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," you say.
You continue walking away from Tifid. You notice the trees of Fucktopia Forest look like dicks. You laugh at this realization.
"Hey, wait!" Tifid yells.
"What?" you ask, annoyed that she is still here.
"Don't... don't go," Tifid says. "I don't want to be here by myself."
"What are you, five?" you ask.
"No..." she mutters, looking away.

You sigh and say "Come on. And don't me me any more, idiot."

Tifid glares as she walks towards you, but doesn't say any more.
"Come on. Let's go," you say.
"But what if Chuckles jumps out at us?" Tifid asks, terrified.
"Just don't make any loud noises and he won't jump out," you say.
You continue walking through the forest.

You say "God dammit, we have to find some clothes..."

"I think I see a trail of clothes over there," Tifid says.
You walk up to a patch of grass, and sure enough, you find a trail of clothes leading off into the distance.
"Well, someone's getting laid," you say.
"Should we follow it?" Tifid asks.
"Might as well," you reply.
You follow the trail off into the distance, picking up the clothes as you go.

You try the clothes on and see if they fit.

You lay out the clothes you've collected, and are shocked to find that they fit you perfectly.
"Back to looking sexy," You say, smoothing out your new outfit.
"Let me try that jacket on," Tifid says.
"Sure," you reply.
Tifid tries on the leather jacket, and it fits her perfectly as well.
It suddenly dons on you that these don't just fit you, they're your actual clothes.

You say "What the fuck? Okay, now I'm seriously creeped out."

"It even has my name stitched on it!" Tifid says, pulling at the jacket to emphasize its fit.
"There's no way this is a coincidence," you say. "I bet Chuckles is behind this."
"Screw that evil clown bastard," Tifid says. "We need to get out of here, and quick."
"You're right. Let's go," you say.
Tifid and you continue to follow the trail of clothes. You find a wallet lying on the ground.
"Wallet, wallet!" Tifid shouts.
You pick up the wallet and look inside it.
"There's like fifty bucks in here," you say in disbelief.
"Sweet!" Tifid says, taking the wallet from you. "Money for candy."
Tifid rifles through the wallet, but suddenly looks at you in shock.
"Wait a second, this is my wallet!" she says.

You say "Well, I'm keeping the fifty bucks."

"You little bitch!" Tifid says.
Tifid tackles you to the ground and begins trying to rip the wallet out of your hands. The two of you roll on the ground, hitting and punching each other for dominance.
"Let go of it!" Tifid shouts, grabbing a handful of your hair and yanking your head back.
Your scuffle is interrupted by the sudden sound of moaning. It seems to be coming from somewhere deeper in the woods. The two of you stop fighting and listen.
"Did you hear that?" you ask.
"What the hell is that?" Tifid says, terrified.
You stand up and straighten yourself out. You slowly walk deeper into the woods, following the sound of the moaning.
"Hello?" you shout. "Is someone there?"
The moaning doesn't stop, in fact, it gets louder. You slowly realize there's two voices, moaning in harmony with each other.
The sound is pitch-perfect, and you feel your dick start to get hard.
"Oh shit," Tifid says, pointing further ahead. "Look!"

You look where Tifid is pointing.

You walk down the path, until you see two figures lying on the ground, clearly having sex. Upon closer inspection you realize that they look just like you.
"Holy fuck," Tifid whispers, "It's us!"

You say "Ew! Fucking gross!" but don't advert your eyes.

"Ew! Fucking gross!" you whisper, not being able to avert your eyes.
The two of you hide behind a tree and watch your doppelgangers go at it. It's pretty hot, and your dick is at full mast.
"I think I'm going to throw up," says Tifid, not making any attempt to look away.

You say "Yeah, I'd never do that with you" while continuing to stare.

"Fuck you! I'd never do that with you, either!"
You and Tifid continue to watch your spectral doppelgangers fuck each other. They go at it for at least half an hour, moaning in ecstasy the entire time.

You say "So that's what you look like with your hair down..."

"Shut up!" Tifid says, not taking her eyes off the scene. You notice that she's blushing profusely.

<Tifid's POV>
"So that's what you look like with your hair down..." he says. I turn bright red. I can't believe I'm getting turned on by this. Is this what they call "out of body experience?"
I should be disgusted, but I can feel myself getting wetter and wetter as the two of us watch ourselves... no, my doppelganger and his...
I can't even say it. It's so dirty. I've never been this dirty...
Then I look at Gil. He's staring at the scene with a look of lust in his eyes. A very, very hungry look.
Fuck! I can't help it. I want him to do those things to me.
Oh, I wish that was me up there!

<Your POV>
Tifid's looking at you with lust in her eyes. Her whole body is blushing, and her breathing is shallow.
"W-We should go..." you say, barely able to contain your own lust.
"Y-Yeah..." she replies.
You quickly take the tree-covered deeper into Fucktopia Forest. Tifid says nothing, and simply follows.
You leave your doppelgangers behind, until their moans fade into the distance.
You're very aware of her presence behind you, and you can't get the images of your doppelgangers out of your head.
After awhile of walking in silence, the sun begins to set. It doesn't look like you're going to find your way out before nightfall.

You awkwardly say "We should... um, find someplace to camp out..."

"Yeah... that's a good idea." Tifid says, and looks at the ground.
You look around until you find a small cave that looks big enough to fit both of you.
You toss some wood you find lying around in a big pile, and Tifid casts a spark. Soon, a campfire is burning in the cave.
Tifid is sitting next to the fire, and you sit down next to her. The two of you quietly watch the flames for a while, before she opens her mouth to speak.
"So... about what happened earlier..." she asks, nervously.

You say "Don't! Don't say it! I know what you're thinking... but this is exactly what that psycho clown wants!"

"B-But you feel it too, don't you?" Tifid asks, growing increasingly flustered.
"Fucking obviously! Do you think my dick would be this hard for you if I didn't feel anything? That fucking Chuckles must have cast a lust spell on us!"
"You really think he cast a spell?"
"Well how else would you explain this shit?" you say.
"G-Good point. I don't like you that way at all!" says Tifid. "In fact, I fucking hate you! You've always been a big pain in my ass since we first met!"
"The feeling is mutual, trust me!" you yell back.
You and Tifid stare at each other for a moment before you speak up.

You "So... if we hate each other, then it's not really sex... right?"

"I mean... that's a good point. I think the curse is based off our feelings, so if we genuinely hate each other then it shouldn't matter..." Tifid says, trailing off.
"Exactly... we'd just be using each other to satisfy our urges," you say.
Tifid nods.
"Right... so it's more like masturbation, then. Just using each other's bodies to rub ourselves off..."
"Right..." you respond, convincing no one.
Tifid gulps, but moves closer to you.
"So... let's do it..."
You move in to kiss her, and she kisses back immediately. She wraps her arms around your neck as the two of you embrace.
After a few moments, your lips part and you stare into each other's eyes.

You say "Holy fuck... that was incredi- I mean, it was fucking horrible..."

"Likewise! Your mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage!" she yells.
You pull her back in for another kiss, and this one lasts much longer.
Tifid moans into your kiss, and her hot breath enters your lungs. It feels so good you nearly fall over.
Your body temperature begins to rise as the two of you embrace.
"Shit, you kiss like a stupid fucking monkey!" Tifid whispers, breaking the kiss again.
"Well, you smell like one! Fuck, this is weird," you say.
The two of you stare into each other's eyes again.
"Well...? Aren't you going to do it?" Tifid asks.
"Do what?" you ask, dumbly.
"You know... put your hand down my pants... or I could do the same to you..."
Tifid runs her hand along your chest and squeezes your ass. The feel of her warm hand sends shivers down your spine.

<Tifid's POV>
He squeezes my ass in return. The heat is so strong between us right now, I can barely contain myself. I feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust. I want him to take me right here, right now. But instead he just asks:
"Are you sure? I don't want you to have any excuses after this. We're already at the halfway mark."
"I don't care, we already established that we're doing. Unless you're chickening out..."
Gil stares into my eyes. It's enough to almost bring a tear to my eye. Almost.
"As if! I just don't want you to start crying in the middle of things," Gil says.
"Speak for yourself, you pathetic human!" I say.
He kisses me once more, and then one more time, with tongue. He tastes like cigarettes and coffee. The heat from our passion grows so strong I feel like my wings will catch on fire.
His hands glide up my chest as he begins to unbutton my shirt. I run my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly. He lets out a pleasurable groan and nuzzles his head into my bosom.
"Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" he says, grinning from ear to ear.
I reach into his pants and grasp his erect dick.
"Fuck...!" he utters, as I rub it up and down.

<Your POV>
A shock shoots up your spine as Tifid grabs your crotch. You're so turned on right now that you're losing your mind. You want Tifid more than anything in this world. You've always wanted Tifid, ever since you first laid eyes on her, but you were too stubborn and immature to admit it.
You undo her pants, and slide your hand inside. You rub her crotch, and Tifid's eyes close tightly. She lets out a ragged moan, and then brings her mouth down to your neck.
You feel her fangs gently graze your neck as she bites down softly. Then, she releases your neck, and begins kissing you passionately.

You whisper "Fuck, Tifid... I hate you so damn much."

"Mmmm... I hate you too..." Tifid says.
You throw your clothes in a pile onto the cold, stone floor of cave in an attempt to make some sort of cushion to lie on.
Tifid sits on your lap, grinding against you as the tip of your dicks just barely brushes against her pussy. She continues to taunt and abuse you verbally while you're underneath her.
"I'm so fucking wet right now...! Fuck you, you pathetic human!" she moans, inching your cockshead up and down her slit.

You say "Filthy demon! You're lucky I'm so horny or I'd puke right now!"

"Go right ahead, idiot... I'd still fuck you!" Tifid says, continuing to grind on your lap.
She lowers her head down to your neck, and gently bites down on your skin.
"Ah shit... that feels so fucking good..." you moan.
The rest of your clothes come off lightning fast, and you start to return the favor.
"Oh fuck...!" she says, as you slide your hand into her panties.
You rub and penetrate her slit with your fingers. Tifid's cunt is warm, wet, and welcoming. She begins to moan loudly, and she grabs your wrist as if she's about to stop you, but then she thrusts her hips into your hand and deepens the penetration.

You massage her G-spot.

You slide your index finder into her hole, and begin to massage her G-spot. Tifid's eyes widen in surprise, and she begins to squirm a bit.
"Ah... I... it's been so long..." she manages to say between moans.
You can feel the pressure of her palm pushing back against your hand, but you don't stop.

You say "Hey... quit pushing... I can't reach as deep."

"Sorry..." Tifid says.
She backs off a bit, and you're able to slide your finger deeper inside her.
"Ahhh...! That's... mmmmm...!" Tifid moans, as you massage her from the inside.
Tifid's hands rest on your shoulders, and she begins grinding her pussy against your hand.
"I'm about to cum," she says.

You say "Heh... wouldn't it suck if I stopped right now?"

"Don't you dare...!" Tifid says, grinding her pussy into your hand.
Tifid's body begins to tense up, and you can feel her muscles start to contract around your fingers.
"Oh fuck...!" she whispers.
She cums all over your hand, and it drips down onto the floor.
"I... I've never cum so hard in my life..." she says. "Ah... that was great..."

You say "Yeah I know, I'm the best."

"Don't get too full of yourself... we're not done yet."
Tifid picks herself up and sits on your dick.
"Um... I'm going to put it in, okay?" she says, suddenly sounding shy.
"Okay," you say, starting to enjoy the new side to Tifid.
She places your dick against her opening, and lowers herself onto it. She gasps as she slowly eases into it. She takes your hands in hers, and leans forward to kiss you on the lips. You feel your dick push past her tight entrance and slide deep into her pussy.

<My true feelings about Tifid>
Tifid is a great girl. She's beautiful, funny, smart, and talented. It's no wonder you fell in love with her. You've known her for many years now, ever since you started your career as a spell thief. You can't really imagine life without her.
The two of you didn't start out as rivals, but after you both tried to steal the same artifact from the wizard Molov, you found yourselves on a collision course. From there, things escalated and the two of you became enemies. But you've always had feelings for her, and arguing was the only way you could express them. Otherwise, the two of you are a perfect fit. Deep down, you'd do anything for this girl. Even though you usually don't trust demons, you trust her, even if you don't want to admit it. She's the only one who can give you a run for your money.

Now the two of you are naked and fucking. It's been a long time coming. Tifid starts moaning as she bounces up and down on your dick.
"Fuck, Gil... you feel so good... deeper... deeper..." she says.
You feel your dick sink deep into her pussy, all the way to the base. Her wetness is all over your cock.
You grip her hips and start thrusting upwards to meet her downward thrusts. Her breasts jiggle and her horns dig into your chest a bit, but you don't care. She leans forward and kisses you, wrapping her arms around your neck.
You thrust faster and harder as the two of you enjoy your intimacy. Tifid squeezes your hand and digs her fingernails into your back, drawing a little blood.

You lean over and lay Tifid on the floor.

You lean over and lay Tifid on the floor. You put your hands on her hips and start thrusting in and out of her.
"Yeah, fuck me!" she says as you fuck her harder.
She grabs her breasts and fondles them as you thrust. She then wraps her legs around your waist and locks her feet together. She uses her legs to push you deeper into her with every thrust.
"Fuck me, Gil! Fuck me harder!" she says.
You go faster and harder as the two of you sweat profusely. Tifid kisses you on the lips and sloppily sucks on your tongue as you thrust in and out of her sopping pussy.

You lose ourselves in rough, sweaty, animalistic sex.

You lose yourselves in the throes of passion.
Tifid slaps you across the face and spits in your face.
"You fucking asshole!" she screams as she starts having an orgasm.

You yell "Fucking bitch!" and flip her on her stomach, and prone bone her.

You flip Tifid over and slam your dick deep inside her.
"Oooooohhhhnnn!" she screams as she digs her heels into your back and pushes you deeper inside herself.
"Fuck! Tifid! Fuck!" you grunt, calling out her name and cursing.
"Bite me, Gil! Fuck me! Do it!"
You grab her shoulders and sink your teeth into her neck. You taste her warm blood in your mouth. She starts squirting, sending her juices dripping down your leg.

<Tifid's POV>
I can't hold on. My mind is growing fuzzy and I can't think straight. All I want is Gil to fuck me harder. Harder!
He feels so good. His cock feels so good.
His cock feels so good. Gil's cock feels so good.
Gil's cock feels good.
Gil's cock.
Gil's cock.
GIL! FUCK!
My body is on fire and I want him to burn me more. I tell him to bite my shoulder. He does it, hard, and I push my face into the dirt and scream.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I can't think anymore.

<Your POV>
You have no control anymore. You're just a beast pounding endlessly into your mate.
Tifid's moans have become constant, high pitched screams. Her fingernails claw at the dirt as she tries to push back against you.
You want more. You need more. You can't get enough.
Your body is a mass of nerve endings, and they're all telling you that you need MORE!

You channel your strength runes for more powerful fucking.

Your muscles burn like fire as the runes tattooed into your body channel your strength.
Your mind goes hazy as your heart beats in your chest. Your soul beats with it.
You begin pounding Tifid with inhuman force.
Her moans turn into a series of incomprehensible, bestial noises. Hardly something that should be coming out a person's throat, be they human or demon.
Tifid's claws dig into your arms, but you don't feel it.
If she wasn't a demon, you'd probably break her pelvis and several of her bones.

You grab her horns and use them as fuck handles.

You wrap your fingers around her horns and use them as leverage as you ram into her.
Her squeals have become whimpers. You ignore them.
You pump your hips. Your pelvis smacks into her ass with a loud, wet sound.
Her eyes roll back into her head as she collapses to the ground, her legs no longer able to support her.
You don't stop fucking her. You flip her onto her back again, and she just lies there quivering endlessly.
You push her ankles up over her head and fuck her with all your strength, bearing down with all your weight.
She doesn't scream anymore. Her mouth hangs open as she tries to take quick, short breaths.
"Gil... Gil..." she pants, your name being the only thing she can get out.
You're getting close. You can feel it. Your balls tingle as your pent up semen gets ready to shoot out through your engorged cock.
Tifid's tongue hangs from her mouth as she stares at you with half-closed eyes. Her chest rapidly rises and falls, her lungs struggling to keep up with her body's need for oxygen.

Blast the deepest parts of her womb with a furious load.

You roar one last time as you shoot a load into her, the sheer size of it causing your knees to buckle.
Your feet slip and slide as you fall onto Tifid, smothering her under your weight.
She mewls and squeals, locking her ankles behind your back. Her walls contract around your member, desperately trying to milk you for everything you've got.
You crumple over from sheer exhaustion. You're unable to move. You're panting as you try to gather yourself.
"You alright?" you ask, gently nuzzling her nose.
She smacks her lips, staring at you with glossy eyes.
"Kiss... kiss...," she slurs, opening her mouth and jutting out her tongue.
You inch yourself closer to her, kissing her passionately on the lips. Her eyes close as she enjoys your embrace.
She places a hand on the back of your head, pressing you into the kiss as you fill her mouth with your tongue. She sucks on it, swirling it around the inside of her mouth.
You lie there, making out silently beside the fire. After a while, the two of you regain enough strength to sit up. You're covered in dirt, dried saliva, and your own substances, but there's not really anything you can do about it right now.

You try to confess.

"Tifid," you ask, as she lets out a long yawn. "Why... why do we act like we hate each other?"
She sits up, and looks into your eyes, the shrugs.
"It's what we always do," she says.
"We could stop," you say. "I don't want to hate you."
"Then don't," she says, leaning in and kissing you on the cheek.

You say it.

"I love you," you say.
"Shit... don't make me cry," she says, sniffling.
"I love you," you say again.
Tifid embraces you tightly, burying her face in your chest and taking a deep breath. She sobs quietly, quaking as the tears run down her face and into your shoulder. You run your hands along her horns and through her hair, cradling her head against your neck. You place a gentle peck on her horn, making her let out a cute little laugh.
"I love you too," she says, smiling.
"You don't have to say it back if you don't mean it," you say.
"I really do," she says. "You know... my dad used to tell me a story..."

You say "You have a dad?"

"Yes!" Tifid laughs. "You think I grew from fucking mud or something?"
"Well... I didn't know demons had parents," you say.
Tifid slaps you, then sighs.
"Of course we do... my dad's name is Pellius, he's a pretty good storyteller."

You say "Pellius... wait a second. Are you talking about THE Pellius, the President of Demonkind?!"

"Yes, that's my dad. He's a cool guy. Taught me everything I know."
"Like... thief stuff?"
"Oh no, he doesn't know I'm a spell thief. He hates criminals."
"But he's the fucking PRESIDENT!" you say.
"Exactly," Tifid says. "He's a stickler for discipline and honor. Grew into a huge softie since he started working with humans."

You say "So what... you have daddy issues and became a criminal to rebel?"

"No, I love my dad. I'm just a criminal because it's fun," Tifid says.
Tifid takes a deep breath, and looks at you.
"I'm glad you came along, Gil. I think I was in love with you after that first job we did together. Stealing the relic from the Matriarch of Justice? It was so badass, I couldn't help myself."
"Yeah, people do say that about me."
"No, I mean it was sexy. You were so confident, so brave. I couldn't believe it when I saw a human do a flip off of a wall and steal a vase from a museum."

You say flex your sick tats and say "Magical runes, lassie."

"The tats are hot too," Tifid says, running her eyes over your tattoos.

You confess that you liked her from the start, too.

"I know, Gilly, it was super obvious. Why do you think I kept hanging around? My father was right, humans are fun. I'm glad I took his advice."
The nickname sends your heart fluttering, and you feel a little woozy. You remember that she called you that back in the day, too.

You say "Shit... I can't believe it took me this long to sort out my feelings. Why did we ever start fighting so much?"

"Oh, humans," Tifid says, rolling her eyes. "You lot over-analyze everything. It was fun to watch you squirm. I'll never forget when you asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner after our first job together."
Tifid starts laughing her ass off.
"That was fucking priceless," she says.

You say "Hey, you were just as much of a bitch to me as I was to you! I can't even count the number of times you stabbed and burned me!"

"Yeah, it was super funny," Tifid says.
"You think so? You seemed genuinely mad at times," you ask.
"I was, and that's what made it funny. I wasn't just pretending to be mad, you really pissed me off. The fact that I kept playing along meant I liked you."
You're about to lean in for another kiss, but you're interrupted by a sudden gust of wind from the entrance of the cave.
You look up to see Chuckles the clown staring down at you. He's holding a bouquet of purple flowers in his hand.
"Congratulations!" he shouts, tossing the bouquet and scattering the flowers all over the two of you.

You clutch Tifid and scream in fucking terror.

You scream at the top of your lungs. Tifid throws her arms around you and screams with you.
The two of you hold onto each other for dear life.
Chuckles laughs at the sight of you both.
"So, you've finally come to accept your feelings," he says, dancing around the mouth of the cave.

You "Wh-What do you want, Chucklefuck?"

"You finally gotten rid of your sexual guilt! Good job!" Chuckles continues, ignoring your question outright.
"Why are you here?"
"I came to congratulate you for completing your sexual education! You graduate! Yay!"
"You're still avoiding the question," you say.
"Now that you've graduated, get the fuck out of my forest! Bye!"
Before you can respond, Chuckles conjures a portal with his hands.
A skeletal hand extends out of the portal and grabs your hand.
You are pulled into the portal, with Tifid in tow. You hug each other tightly as you tumble through the portal.

When you open your eyes again, you find yourself back at the necromancer's lair on Rask Island.
The Black Tome of Sorrow lies on the ground, still completely destroyed.

You say "Holy fuck... did all of that really just happen?"

Tifid shrugs her shoulders.
"Yeah... I guess it did," she replies.
"Well... I guess this means we don't have to kill each other now."
Tifid smiles at you.
"Guess not."
The two of you embrace in a long kiss.

You pick up the Black Tome and say "Do you think this is still worth anything?"

"It's fucking destroyed, Gil."
"Yeah, but it was the Black fucking Tome of Sorrow! I'm sure there are people who would pay good money for it!"
Tifid shrugs.
"Probably. Just don't tell anyone where you got it."

You say "Shit! We forgot out clothes back in Fucktopia Forest..."

"Fuck it. Let's just get out of here."
You pick up the remains of the Black Tome of Sorrow and head back out of the necromancers' castle.
On your way you, you steal the robes off of the corpses of the necromancers you killed back when you first arrived.
You make your way back to the shore and sigh in relief when you realize your boat is still there.
"Thank goodness," says Tifid. "I probably can't fly you across the lake, it's too far."

You say "So... uh... you gonna go home now, or...?"

"Well, I could, you know, stay out for a while..." Tifid says, blushing.
"Won't your dad get mad?" you ask.
"I don't live with him!" she says.
"Oh. I just assumed..." you say.
"Yeah, well he does pay for everything, so I can't ever really get mad at him. I can only imagine what he'd do if he found out I was doing... this."
Tifid points to the two of you.
"This?" you ask.
"You know what I mean!" she says, hitting your shoulder.

You say "I thought your dad liked humans... would he be against us hooking up?"

"I don't mean that! I mean stealing the Black Tome of Sorrow and going to some weird sex forest and back!"
"Oh, that," you say.
"Yeah, that! I could get in a shitload of trouble for all of that!"
"Trouble? From who? Your dad?"
Tifid nods.
"Oh yeah, he does hate criminals."
"Yeah so if you ever meet him, keep your fucking mouth shut."

You say "Yes ma'am... so... you wanna go back to my place?"

Tifid looks at you and smiles.
"Fuck it, why not?" she says, and the two of you board your rowboat and begin to row back to the shore.
You row the boat back to land, and begin to make your way back home. Tifid holds your hand as you walk through the woods.
"I'm actually glad you're a human," Tifid says.
"Yeah? Why's that?" you ask.
"Demons care too much about image. Always trying to look cool. If one sees another doing something, they have to one-up each other with how badass they are."

You say "Y-Yeah, I certainly don't try to do that. Haha..."

"You sure?" Tifid asks.
"Yeah! I mean, I don't have a lot of friends and all..."
"Neither do I. Fuck it, we're not cool. We don't need to be. We're fucking spell thieves." she says with a smile.
"Fuck yeah we are!" you reply.
You and Tifid hold hands as you continue to walk back home.
It's along trek back to your hideout in the abandoned train, and you're nervous the entire time.
In the thief world, showing someone else your secret hideout is like confessing your love to them. You're basically declaring them as your romantic partner, and agreeing to never lie to one another.
If you ever break this rule, it's considered game over for the relationship.
You both arrive at the hideout.
"So... what do you want to do?" Tifid asks.
You nervously take out your bee gun.
"I... uh... I got a gun that shoots bees!"
"Yeah, I've seen it before."

<Tifid's POV>
I don't understand why he's always waving that bee gun round. I don't like bees.
Sure, it's funny the first time you make someone shit themselves by shooting a bee at them, but after that it gets old REAL quick. Especially since you need to get up close to use the damn thing.
I see him reaching for it and groan.
"Put that thing away, you're not using that today," I say.
He looks disappointed, but puts it away.
Well at least he's cute.

<Your POV>
Your face is beet red. You're not exactly experienced with being romantic with girls. The most you've ever done is order a hooker to suck your dick a couple times.
Fuck, you wish you were more experienced with women. What do couples usually do?

You say "You... want to watch TV and fall asleep together?"

You say this, expecting Tifid to laugh. She doesn't.
Instead, she smiles and nods.
"That sounds nice," she says.
Great. You've managed to pick something she actually wants to do, and it's the least sexy thing possible.
Shooting the bee gun would have been way more fun.
Well, no use worrying about it now. You turn on the TV and find a movie to watch.
While you're picking out a movie, Tifid looks around your hideout.
"So this is where you've been hiding," she says.
"Yup," you reply, not taking your eyes off the TV.
"And this is where you've been stashing your loot?"
"Yup."
Tifid walks into your kitchenette and looks around.
"What... what is this?" she asks, picking up a wooden stake.
You turn to see her holding it up.
"Oh, that? It's a wooden stake. I kill vampires with that."
"Does it work?"
You chuckle.
"Of course it works," you say. "If you're a stupid twelve year old, that is."
"What do you mean?" asks Tifid, confused.

You say "When I was a kid, I was picked on by a vampire bully that lived in my neighborhood. I carved that stake out of a doorstopper to take him down someday. The day never came."

"Really?"
You nod.
"What happened?" asks Tifid, sitting down beside you.

You chuckle wryly and say "Nothing. I got my ass beat. Turns out a stake is just a stake if the person using it is a wimp."

Tifid chuckles.
"So, why do you still have it? Isn't it a shitty memory?" she asks.
"I keep it as a reminder," you say.
"Oh? Of what?"
"Of the fact that there's always someone out there who can beat your ass if you're not careful."
Tifid laughs again.
"I feel like I've been seeing a different side of you today," she says.
You shrug.

You say "It's nothing special. It's not even the stupidest thing I did as a kid."

"Oh? What is it then?" she asks, snuggling up beside you.
"What, you want a ranked list?"
"Hell yeah!" she says, excitedly.
"That's going to take all night," you joke. "We'll never get to the movie."
"Forget about the movie then, I want to know more about you, Gilly."
"Well... let's see..."

Spell Thief Gil's "Top 10 Stupidest Things I Did as a Kid":

  1. (Tie) I tried to have a staring contest against a pigeon and got mobbed by its friends after I won and gloated.
  2. (Tie) I bit into a light bulb once just to see what would happen.
  3. I tried to steal a car from my neighbor's garage. I ended up locking myself in and cried until they found me.
  4. I used to steal dentures from the old lady next door and wore them for fun. Then I found out she was a geriatric prostitute who exclusively performed anilingus.
  5. I once mixed up an entire bowl of cake batter and drywall mix, poured it into the sink, and attempted to drink it. It tasted horrible.
  6. I freed a monkey from a zoo, but it climbed up an electric pole, got electrocuted, and caused a blackout in my whole neighborhood.
  7. I was dared to lick a battery. I got a nasty zap and puked on the person who dared me.
  8. I went around flipping girls' skirts for fun. They all got mad, ganged up on me, and forced me to wear skirts for a week.
  9. I stuck a firecracker up my ass and set it off. No real reason why.
  10. I jerked off into a thermos, forgot about it, and later drank from it. I didn't notice until I finished the whole thing.
  11. I ran away from home, and lived in a cardboard box in the woods for 2 weeks before getting cold and hungry enough to go home. Mom didn't even notice I was gone.

You smile at the happy memories.
Tifid looks at you with a concerned expression.
"Okay, some of those are really messed up.... But that last one is kind of sad."
"How so?"
"You mother never noticed you were gone? For two whole weeks?"
"Well... she was kind of a busy person."
"What did she do?"
"Oh, she was a cocaine addict and prostitute. Apparently I was born as a result of her trading sex for drugs."
"Gil..."
Tifid gently pulls you into a hug.
"I'm sorry to hear about your childhood."
"Why are you apologizing? It's not like it's your fault."
"I dunno... I just feel bad."

You smirk and say "Huh, I guess it really must be pretty fucked if a demon feels bad for me."

"Oh stop it. It's not like we demons lack emotions or anything. It's just that we're not allowed to show them in public. It's considered 'uncool'."
"Is there such a thing as demons being 'cool'?"
"In private, sure."
You laugh.
"Alright then, so what does this hugging and laughing stuff feel like?"
"I dunno, pretty good I guess..."

You say "So what you're saying is, you're basically a huge demon dork."

Tifid pokes you in the side.
"Shut up! It's not my fault!"
"Sure, Tif, whatever you say."
You give a sly wink.
"Oh, you're really pushing it today mister. How about I stab you for old times' sake?"
She joking jabs you in the side with her tail spike.
"Nope, still not poking hard enough."
"I could stab you in the face."

You grab her tail and kiss it.

Tifid's face turns red, and she hides it in her hands.
"T-that wasn't necessary you know!"
"But your honor, it was self-defense!" you say, coyly.
Tifid rolls her eyes.
"I'll let you off with a warning this time, bub."
You laugh.

You grab her and say "What, you think you're the only one who can act cute?"

You grab Tifid by the hands and look into her eyes.
"I'm sorry, I'm too busy being adorable to insult you right now."
"Hmph! We'll see about that!"
Tifid tackles you onto the couch so hard it triggers the conversion mechanism. The back and armrests pop open to become a futon. The two of you fall into the bed, Tifid on top of you.
"I guess this means I win?"
You pause for a moment and think about it. You and Tifid have been arch rivals for so long now that it feels weird to let her have her way like this but...

You say "Yeah, you do. You win, Tifid."

Tifid looks at you and frowns.
"But what about your honor? How will you live with yourself, letting a girl beat you?"

You say "I didn't get beaten by a girl. I got beaten by the best spell thief I know."

Tifid's playful expression turns into one of surprise and then joy.
"Idiot... that doesn't make me happy," she says, grinning ear to ear.

You hold her close and smell her hair.

You pull Tifid close to you and bury your face in her pale-pink hair. It smells like sweet berries.
"H-Hey... what's with you all of a sudden?"
"Nothing. I just can't get enough of you."
You pull Tifid into a deep kiss. Her lips taste like ripe cherries. You feel her kiss you back.
"Tifid, I..."
Tifid pushes you away and looks down, blushing profusely.
"I know..."
The two of you lie on the futon and stare at the ceiling for hours, not saying a word.
It's a quiet night in your hideout. The moonlight spills through the window of the train car.
The far-off sounds of the city hum in the background.
It's far too perfect. You almost can't believe the warmth next to you is Tifid.
"Tifid..."
Tifid stirs from her sleep.
"Hmm? Did you say something?"
"Sorry. Didn't know you were asleep."
"Heh. Now you owe me... c'mere..." she coos, holding out her arms.
Tifid's warm body invites you into her embrace. You lay your head on her chest, and slowly close your eyes.

You bury your face into her chest.

"You damn pervert," she says, giggling softly.
You bury your face into her chest, enjoying her scent.
"Call me what you want."
"Hm. I'm not stopping you," she says.
Tifid takes a deep breath and sighs contently as she strokes your hair.
It's a perfect moment for the two of you.
This is what happiness feels like.
When you wake up the next morning, Tifid is still asleep, so you decide to let her rest.
You exit the train car to get some fresh air and have a morning. When you return, Tifid is still asleep.
You make your way to the kitchen and set some coffee to boil. Then you walk over to the futon and reach out to stroke Tifid's hair.
"Good morning."
"Hey..."

You say "Breakfast?"

"Mm-hmm," she nods, stretching her arms and legs.
You stand up from the futon.
"I'll go make some."
She puts her hands behind her head and looks up at you with tired eyes.
"Thanks."
After the coffee finishes brewing, you pour yourself a cup and sit down at the table. You turn on the TV and flip through the channels, but nothing's on.
Tifid heads into the shower at the back of the train, so you get to work on breakfast while you wait your turn.

You throw some bacon on the pan and some toast in the toaster.

While the bacon is sizzling on the pan and the toast is toasting in the toaster, you get a glass of orange juice for yourself and a cup of coffee for Tifid.
Soon, you're ready to go. You set everything on the table and call out to Tifid.
"Breakfast is ready!"
Tifid comes out of the bathroom drying her hair with a towel.

You stare at her with her hair down and say "Whoa.."

She looks up at you and smiles.
"What?"
You shake your head.
"Nothing."
She walks over to the table and sits down.
"Come on, tell me."
You sit down across from her.
"It's just...you're really pretty when you let your hair down," you say, taking a sip of orange juice.
"Oh," she says, looking down at her food. "Um, thanks."

You finish breakfast and start tidying up.

Soon, you and Tifid have finished eating.
"All right," you say, standing up from the table. "I guess I'll clean up."
Tifid nods.
"Thanks, Gil."
After finishing the dishes, you go to sit down on the futon. Tifid sits down beside you. You take her hand in yours. She turns toward you and kisses you on the cheek.

You kiss her back, then pick up the remains of the Black Tome and say "Man, I still can't believe that whole Fucktopia Forest thing happened..."

"Yeah..."
You stand up from the futon.
"I mean, I've never even heard of that fucked up place before."
Tifid gets up from the futon and sits down at your computer desk.
"It's crazy how much can change in a few days."
She sits down at your computer desk and switches it on.

You try to stop her from opening your computer and seeing your wallpaper of her.

"What are you doing?"
"I just want to check my email real quick."
She opens up your web browser and goes to your history page. She scrolls down to the bottom and a photo of her flashes across the screen. She turns bright red.
"I..uh..." she stutters. "This is a really nice picture of me."
She clicks on the thumbnail and your full sized wallpaper is shown.

You say "I-I can explain!"

"That's okay."
She smiles at you. You smile back.
"Come on," she says, taking your hand. "Let's go take a walk."
The two of you head out the door.
Your train car hideout is in a pretty remote part of the city. There's not much around, but that also means it's nice and quiet. There's a path that leads through a field out back that takes you to the highway in less than five minutes. There's not much there either, just a few warehouses and a billboard advertising a local law firm. It's still early in the day, so you and Tifid have the path mostly to yourselves.
Tifid asks you about your life.

You say "You mean, aside from my 'Top 10 Ten Stupidest Things I Did as a Kid?'"

"Yeah," she says.
"That's kind of vague. Anything particular you wanna know about?"
"Well, I don't know. Where did you grow up? Who were your friends? Stuff like that."
You try to think of what to tell her.

You say "I grew up in Bishop Main. Despite the name, it was a seedy-as-fuck town. Like I said before, my mother was a drug addict and a prostitute, and I never even knew my father. I pretty much grew up a street rat, running around starting shit like a dumb ass. I was a pretty insecure kid... scrawny as hell, but I still picked fights with everyone, even the demon kids."

"Really?"
"Yeah. The demons mostly liked to pick on me because I was one of the few human children who stood up to them in the slums."
"Oh..." Tifid says, looking a bit guilty. "I'm sorry you had to go through that..."

You look at her and say "Don't be. The best thing to happen to me happens to be a demon, you know."

Tifid smiles.
"What's so funny?" you ask.
"You are." she says, laughing. "Aww, you're trying to be all cool and shit."

You say ".... Did it work?"

"Yeah," she says. "It did."
The two of you sit on the bench, watching the clouds roll by and enjoying each other's company in silence. Soon, the sun is at its highest point, and neither of you has said a word for at least five minutes. You're enjoying the peace and quiet.
"What do you want to do now?" Tifid asks.

You say "Well, I talked a lot about myself. Wanna tell me something about you?"

"Like what?"
"I dunno. Something about you. I wanna know what Tifid was like as a little demoness."
"I dunno what to tell..." she says, looking downward.
"I mean, you were born on Earth, right? After the Rapture War. What's it like being an Earth-born demon?"
"Oh. It's... it's interesting."
"That's not a very satisfying answer."
Tifid doesn't say anything for a while, and you begin to worry you may have upset her.
"I... I don't know..." she says, looking downward.

You say "Say. You wanna go steal something?"

"Like what?" Tifid asks.
"I dunno. Anything. Something shiny. We haven't worked together ever since we started fighting... it's been years."
"Yeah. You're right. It has been years. Okay, let's go steal something."
You and Tifid smile at each other, before kissing one another on the lips. You feel the demonic tounge in your mouth, and you pucker your lips out to meet it. The two of you hold each other tightly, but briefly.
"Well if we're going to heist, I at least want to get paid for it," Tifid says, conjuring her phone.
She gives it a few taps and then turns it around to you.
"Here's the jobs I got just this morning."
You stare, awestruck at the sheer number of them. The screen is filled with different requests from people who want various objects stolen.

You say "What?! How the hell do you have so many?! I get a request like... once or twice a week!"

"Yeah gotta lot of connections that's how."
"You're connected to drug dealers and murderers."
"Yeah."
"Why don't they use their own sons and daughters to do their dirty work?" you ask, genuinely confused.
"Because none of them are as good at it as me," Tifid says, laughing.
You snort at her answer.

You say "''Cuz they haven't met me: the most badass spell thief in Heksten."

"Yeah, you're right," Tifid says.
"Let's do one that pays the most," you say.
Tifid turns her phone around and shows you a job.
A famous celebrity has lost a family heirloom diamond ring, and he wants it back before his wife notices it's missing. The pay is three hundred thousand dollars.
You nod, impressed.

You say "So who do we have to steal it back from?"

"We'll find out when we accept the mission," Tifid says, pressing a button on the phone.
Tifid's phone lights up, and the notification for the job shows up on the screen. It seems that the requestor has accepted Tifid's price of three hundred thousand dollars.
Tifid takes the phone back in her hand.
"Looks like we're going to a mansion in the hills,"

You say "Let's go!"

Tifid nods and begins to fly off.
"Hey wait!" you shout after her.
"Oops!" she says, fluttering back down. "Sorry, I've gotten too used to working solo."
"Yeah, me too," you say. "Hey, I have an idea!"
"What is it?"

You say "Follow me!" and lead her to your bike garage hidden in the abandoned train station.

You run to the bike garage, Tifid following behind. You step inside and flick on the lights.
"This place is huge!" Tifid says in awe.
You smile. It really is. The two of you walk through the rows of bikes until you reach the far back corner, where you keep your favorite ride, a black and red 2015 Harley Davidson Low Rider.
"So, whaddya think?"
"Yeap, these are my babies!" you say proudly.
"... Is this what you spend all your money on?" she asks.
"What, you don't think I should?"
"No, it's cool, I just... didn't know you were into motorcycles."
"Yeah well I'm a lot of things you don't know about."
"That's true," she says.
You hop onto your motorcycle and start the engine. It purrs like a well-tuned machine.

You pat the seat and say "Hop on!"

Tifid hops on the back of your motorcycle, and the two of you ride out of the garage.
You follow Tifid's directions to the hilltop mansion where you will be performing your heist.
It's quite a distance outside of the city perimeter, in a place that neither demons nor humans usually go.
Tifid wraps her arms around you as you ride along. You smile, enjoying the feel of her body against your back. It's been a while since you've had anyone to hold on to while you ride.

You say "Having fun? Not sure how it compares to flying but... this is how I get around."

"I'm having a lot of fun, Gilly."
You park the motorcycle at the foot of the mansion's driveway.
"This is it," she says.
The two of you hop off and looks up at the mansion.
"Yeah, this place is pretty big. Who the hell does it belong to?" you ask.
"Lord Rostov. He's some big shot overlord that runs a large portion of the East City. This is his private villa."
"Why would this guy steal a celebrity ring?"
"Who said he stole it? Maybe he bought it at a flea market or something. I dunno, who cares?" Tifid says.
"Good point, let's go," you say.
"Not so fast. We need a plan. We can't just barge in there and start looking around."
"You're right, we'll need a distraction. Something to draw the attention of the guards..." your eyes settle on Tifid's succulent lips. "You'd be more than enough."
Tifid frowns.
"Oh no, I'm not kissing anyone!" she says.

You say "I'm kidding. Nobody else touches those lips except for me," then give her a quick kiss.

"I was joking, I wouldn't make you do that. Come on," you say.
The two of you slowly creep up the mansion.
"Is this really the best time for PDA?" Tifid asks.

You say "Oh right, I forgot how much of a square you can be on the job. Don't worry, I'll behave."

"Oh, I wasn't complaining," she says.
The two of you press your bodies up against the mansion wall and slowly creep towards the front door. A camera is situated above the front door, next to the doorbell.
"Well, there's our first obstacle," Tifid whispers.

You say "I can shoot it with my bee gun."

"Ugh, that thing again?" Tifid asks with a groan.
You pull out your bee gun and quickly shoot the camera. It's disabled, but you're not sure for how long.
"Go," you whisper to Tifid.
Tifid approaches the front door and presses her ear against it, listening for any noises inside. After a few seconds, she turns to you and flashes a 'V' sign with her fingers.
"I heard something," she whispers.

You say "I'll lure the guards out. Fly up and get a drop on 'em when it's safe."

"Got it," she says.
Tifid flaps her wings and flies up into the air. She hovers a few feet above the mansion entrance, keeping below the windows to prevent herself from being seen..
You approach the front door and knock on it loudly. You hear some footsteps from inside, before the door is pulled open by a demon guard.

You say "Hey, check out how hard I can pee."

You whip out your dick and start pissing on the floor with incredible force. The demon stares in awe at your feat.
Tifid takes this chance to fly behind the demon and delivers a powerful blow to the back of his head. The demon falls to the ground, straight into your puddle of piss.
She turns around and looks at you with confusion and disgust.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" Tifid asks.

You say "Heh, works every time."

"I don't have time for your weird Earth jokes," Tifid says, grabbing you by the hand.
She pulls you inside and quickly shuts the door behind you.
"Let's just get this over with," she says.
Tifid walks across the foyer into a large room with several chairs facing a stage. Magos Cern stands on the stage, surrounded by a bunch of guards.
"And now, it is time for the main event! The moment you've all been waiting for!" Magos Cern says.
The audience, consisting of both demons and humans claps enthusiastically.
The two of you sneak by while everyone is distracted by the show.

You say "Who's that guy? Is he Rostov?"

"No, he isn't," Tifid says, annoyed that you're talking.
She leads you up some stairs and to a door at the end of the hall.
Tifid takes out her lockpick and gets to work on the door. She works on it for at least two minutes before the door clicks open.
You enter the room and find yourself in a luxurious bathroom.

You say "Whoa... there's gotta be three hundred stacks worth of loot in here alone!"

"Stop gawking! Help me look for the ring!"
You help Tifid search the bathroom, but you don't find anything out of the ordinary.
"There's nothing here," you say.
"Are you sure?" Tifid asks.
"I've never seen a ring, or anything that looks like one."
"Fuck! He must have it on him then," she says.
Magos Cern starts talking on the speakers.
"Oh my, it seems like we have some unwanted pests in the house!"
Tifid's eyes widen in fear.
"We need to get the fuck out of here," she says.
"No, wait! He doesn't know where we are," you say.
"How do you know? There's cameras and microphones everywhere!"

You say "Then why did they let us get this far? They had so many opportunities to jump us!"

"Because this whole fucking thing is a game to them. They were watching us, and they were having fun."
"That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that they don't know where we are. We can still get the drop on him."
Tifid looks nervous, but she nods in agreement.
You hear Magos Cern's voice again.
"If you're listening, children, I highly recommend that you leave. If you continue to stay in my house, I cannot guarantee your safety."
Tifid looks extremely worried, but she doesn't say anything.
You head back into the bedroom, and start opening drawers. You find a big stack of clothes, and immediately start grabbing armfuls and throwing them off.
"What the fuck are you doing?"

You say "Trying to find a disguise, duh! What are you waiting for, you can transform, unlike me!"

"I'm not going to go look for clothes for you, you'll just find some excuse to blame me for it later!"
"Fuck you, you're no fun!" you complain.
Tifid sticks out her tongue, and goes off to transform herself.
Meanwhile, you go rummaging through the clothes. You quickly find a set that looks suitable.
You take off your heist suit, and get dressed.
When you're done, you look just like one of the mansion staff.
Tifid comes back into the room, looking completely different.
She's now a young human woman, with long red hair and a nice dress. She looks like she's in her late teens.
"Holy shit... nice makeover," you say, genuinely impressed.
"Thanks. Ready to go?"
"Yep!
The two of you slowly make your way back through the halls. You might be disguised, but you'd still prefer not to be spotted at all.

You say "Hey Tif... you think... you could transform while we're doing it? I-If you're comfortable with it."

Tifid narrows her eyes and glares at you.
"Why? Am I not pretty enough?"
"No, it's not that. You're beautiful. I just thought it'd be a cool experience."
"Sure, I could transform into a giant bee. Is that what you want?"

You blush and say "R-Really? Could you?"

Tifid jabs you in the side of your ribs.
"Ow!" you yelp.
"You're such a weirdo. Stop fucking around, we have a job to do!"
The two of you continue walking.
You reach the door to the vault. You slowly open it, and find yourself staring at a large collection of gold bars, each worth fifty thousand dollars.
"Whoa..." you say, staring at the gold.
"This is insane," Tifid says, grinning from ear to ear.
You grab a bar, and start loading it into a bag.
"A bag? Seriously? You humans..." Tifid mutters.
She snaps her fingers and a small portal appears. She grabs the sack, and dumps the gold inside.
"Let's get out of here," she says.
The two of you continue walking through the mansion, trying to avoid guards.
"So how many humans have you killed?" you ask.
"What kind of question is that? How many demons have YOU killed?"
"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you."
Tifid looks at you, frowning.
"I'm not a murderer," she says. "I've been through shit, and I'll kill if I have to, but I'm not a killer. Never have been."

You say "Oh yeah. Same."

"Was there even a point to that question?" Tifid asks as she checks around a corner for guards.
"I was just curious."
"Geez Gil, focus on the job!"

You say "Sorry, it's just so much fun heisting with you..."

Tifid raises an eyebrow, and chuckles.
"Shit, you're adorable," she says.
The two of you continue walking, when you hear a voice.
"Hands up!" a voice screams.
You look behind you, and see two guards staring at you. They're holding Tasers, and are clearly ready to use them.

You say "Oh shit! Look over there! A giant demon bee!"

You point over the guards' shoulder, and scream as loud as you can. The guards, terrified, quickly turn their heads to look.
"Fucking idiots," Tifid mutters. She takes the opportunity to rush forward and punch them both. She beats them unconscious in a matter of seconds.
"Come on, let's grab the ring and leave," she says, wiping her bloody knuckles on one of the guards' clothes.

You say "But that magician guy's wearing it! Plus, we already stole a shitton of gold!"

"No can do Gil, we already accepted the job. We have to honor the contract."

You say "Fuck... you're so hot when you're professional. Okay, let's do it."

Tifid smiles at you, and grabs your hand.
"Come on, Gil. Let's get this over with. The sooner we get home... the better."
She gives you a mischievous wink.
You walk down the hall, and find a large door with an intercom beside it.
"This is it," Tifid says.
She presses a button on the intercom.
"Who's there?" a deep voice asks from the speaker.
Tifid clears her throat. When she speaks again, her voice sounds completely different. It's husky and sultry, perfectly matching her illusory disguise.
"It's me, boss. I've caught one of the intruders."
You quickly catch on to Tifid's plan.

You shout into the speaker "Fuck you! Let go of me, bitch!"

You see a flash as a screen turns on above the speaker.
"Well, what do we have here? An interloper? Good work, bring him to me!"
Magos Cern's voice is extremely deep and menacing. You didn't know a human could sound like that, magician or not. It sends a chill down your spine.
The screen turns off again and the door pops open.
"After you, thief," Tifid says with a smirk.
She plays the role so well you forget for a moment you're on the same side.
You walk out into the hallway, and see Magos Cern for the first time.
He doesn't look like what you expected. He is a tall man in black and gray robes standing next to a floating, semi-organic looking computer system. A spiked cage hangs over him, prepared to drop if he gives a certain command.

You say "Fuck! Let me go! Fucking demon bootlickers! You should be ashamed to call yourselves humans!"

Magos Cern's face turns to one of fury.
"Filthy peasant! You dare insult me? The great Magos Cern?"
"Fuck you!"
Magos Cern's face twists into an evil grin. He speaks a few words and waves his hands, and suddenly the floor beneath you opens up. You scream as you fall, staring up at the laughing Magos Cern.
Tifid, still in her disguise, stares at you fall with horror in her eyes, but she doesn't break character.
"Have fun in the pit, fool!" he says gleefully.

You channel your strength runes to break your fall.

Your magical energy courses through your body, and your muscles harden up, protecting you as you bounce around the chute. Eventually, you tumble into a large, empty metal room. You appear to be in some sort of large, cylindrical chamber. The walls are slicked with some sort of oil, prevent victims from climbing out.
A panel opens in the wall, revealing a glass window. Magos Cern's face appears in it as he laughs at you.
"How do you like my pit, animal?"

You say "Geez, how much time do you have on your hands to make something like this?"

"Oh, I always have time to entertain myself. Especially when it comes to unwanted guests. Look behind you."
You look behind you, and gasp in horror. You see a dozen tall, metal bars, covered in blood and claw marks.
A pair of glowing eyes shine from behind the bars, and you hear a low growl.
"Aw hell" you mutter, as a row of sharp teeth stretch open, and you are face to face with a large mutant.
"Say hello to Gutsy! He's been eager to meet you."
"Gutsy?" you ask in surprise.
Magos Cern lets out a laugh.
"Writhe for me, plebeian!" the Magos Cern says, laughing maniacally.
Gutsy lunges out of his cell, sending metal bits flying all over the cylindrical room.

You fire up all of your runic tattoos and yell "Come on, monster!"

You fire up all of your runic tattoos. You feel your muscles and nerves burn with energy, and you begin to feel warm as your blood boils.
Using all of your runes like this causes pain, but it's the only way you're going to get out of this alive.

Your runic abilities:
Strength runes (high grade)
Regeneration runes (high grade)
Focus runes (med grade)
Acceleration runes (med grade)
Dexterity runes (low grade)
Energy runes (low grade)
Endurance runes (low grade)

"Come on, monster!" you say, punching the mutant in the face.
You punch the beast in the snout, shattering part of its metal jaw. The beast falls backwards, howling in pain as it holds its face.
You pounce on top of it and begin smashing its face in with both fists.

You say "What's the matter 'Gutsy'? Izzat all you got? Huh?!"

"What's the matter 'Gutsy'? Izzat all you got? Huh?!" you say, as the mutant howls in pain.
The creature bites your arm, tearing out a chunk of flesh. You scream in pain as hot blood spills down your torn shirt. You try to roll away from the beast, but it grabs you by the hair and throws you against the wall.

You stem the wound with your regeneration runes.

You concentrate, and the runes on your skin glow brightly. Your arm knits itself back together in seconds, although you feel a slight pain for the next few minutes.
The mutant advances on you, but you draw your bee gun.
You unleash a burst of demon bees, and they fly forward, engulfing the beast's head with toxic stings. The creature's face melts off, revealing a metal skull under its flesh. It continues to lurch towards you, undeterred.

You say "Oh fuck! Robots are immune to bees!"

"Oh fuck! Robots are immune to bees!" you say in surprise as the robot continues towards you.
You leap out of the way as it smashes its fist into the concrete wall you were standing in. It pulls its fist out of the wall and swipes at you, but you roll backwards and stand up, running away.
The mutant quickly catches up to you, grabbing you with its robotic hands. It picks you up off the ground and begins crushing you.

You suddenly get a brilliant idea and say "Wait a second! That's it! Gutsy, guess what? Both our names start with 'G'!"

The mutant stares at you blankly. Then, it slowly begins to laugh.
"Yeah! It's true! We're both Gs! Ha ha ha ha!" he says, laughing uncontrollably.
"Yeah! We're both Gs!" you say, trying to laugh along with him.
The mutant stops laughing and continues to stare at you blankly.
"Both Gs..." he says slowly, as if trying out the new word.
"Yeah," you say, wiping the tears from your eyes.
Gutsy lowers you to the ground and stares at you blankly, apparently deep in thought. You notice a tear begin to run down his metal cheek.
"Both Gs..." he says again, this time almost a whisper.
The mutant stares at you intently for a moment, then pulls you into a hug. He holds you tightly and rocks you back and forth as he weeps silently.

You say "There, there big fella. I know. It's tough being a G. Now let's get out of here."

"There, there big fella. I know. It's tough being a G." you say soothingly, petting him on the back of his metal neck..
"Yeah..." he says slowly, as if deep in thought.
Gutsy lets you go, then turns around to look at Magos Cern.
"Fuck you, Cern!" he says angrily.
He turns and walks away down the hall, leaving you behind.
"What the hell just happened?" asks Magos Cern, apparently clueless.

You say "Heh. Works every time."

"Heh. Works every time." you reply.
Magos Cern screams something incomprehensible in rage. He starts smashing his keyboard, then rips it off the desk and throws it across the room. His monitor follows shortly after, shattering into a million pieces. He collapses in his seat and begins sobbing uncontrollably.
You walk out of the hole Gutsy made on his way out, making your way back to the main floor of the mansion. Tifid runs up to you and nearly bowls you over in a hug.
"I'm so glad you're safe, Gil!" she says happily.
"I'm fine, did you get the ring?" you ask.
"Yeah, it's in my pocket. Come on, let's get out of here."
You and Tifid begin to leave the mansion, but are stopped as the sound of heavy, booted feet comes from behind you. You turn around to see several heavily armed mutants approaching you from the front hallway.

You say "Fuck, where does he get these things! Let's fucking dip!"

"Christ, where does he get these things?! Let's fucking dip!" you yell.
"No, Gil, we can take them!" Tifid yells back.
You raise an eyebrow.
"Fuck. Let's do it." you say.
Tifid's horns begin to glow a bright red, and she charges the mutants with reckless abandon.

You engage in glorious mutant slaughter with Tifid.

You charge into the horde of mutants with Tifid, who transforms into a ten feet tall demon composed of pure flame.
Your magical runes surge with power as you prepare to fight.
The hulking creatures wielding oversized knifes and rusty pipes stumble towards you. They obviously don't know how to handle someone as skilled as you, and their clumsy attempts at stabbing you result in their own deaths at your hands.
You rip off the jaw of one mutant with your bare hands, before throwing it at another, impaling both through the chest. You jam your bee gun down the throat of a mutant charging at you and unleash a barrage of bees, watching as the mutant begins to swell up like a balloon and then explodes in a mess of blood, guts, and bees. You stomp on the head of another, crushing it's skull with one swift blow.

You admire Tifid's carnage.

A mutant rushes Tifid with a knife, but is burned to a crisp as she turns him into ash with a wave of her hand. She sends the ash raining down across the room while she continues to look for more enemies. Several mutants attempt to swarm her, only to be swiftly impaled one by one on her bladed tail. She swings the shish kabob of dead mutants like a mace, using the impaled mutants like blunt instruments to batter their friends to death. She then reverts to her normal form and continues the battle. She stabs, slices, burns, beats, and tears the mutants apart until there is nothing but a pile of blood, organs, chunks, and bodies laying at her feet.

You grab her and run for the door.

You run for the exit as the mutants rush after you. You reach the door and quickly head outside.
"Hey, we're not done yet!" Tifid says.
"I am," you say. "Let's just go."
"Why? We can take them!"

You say "No you don't understand. I'm aroused as fuck right now. We need to get home NOW."

"Oh shit, OK!" Tifid says.
You jump onto your bike and start the engine. You put it in gear and peel out of there, tires squealing.
You're flooring it the entire way back to your hideout.
You almost crash a few times because Tifid keeps clinging to your back, trying to bite and kiss you.

You carry Tifid bridal style and kick down the train car door.

You manage to get home without crashing. You barely bother to park the motorcycle properly, just kicking down the train car door and rush inside.
You head straight to sofa and throw Tifid onto it. She lets out an excited squeal as she bounces against the cushions

You take a moment to take it all in.

You take a moment to admire Tifid as she lies on the sofa.
The two of you are still covered in your own sweat, the blood of your enemies, and other unmentionable liquids.
She looks at you with a mix of anticipation and lust.
"You wanna take a shower?" she asks.

You say "No. I want it like this."

"Good answer," Tifid says.
Tifid smiles at you and licks her lips, smearing the thick layer of blood that covers them.
She moves forward and grabs your head, bringing it closer to her own. You gladly close the distance as you passionately embrace in a messy, bloody kiss.

You say "Hey Tif... the last time I was pretty rough, wasn't I?"

"Well you did get a little carried away," she says, her voice carrying a mixture of sheepishness and mild annoyance.
"Sorry about that. It's just... the sex was really good. And I have feelings for you. That usually doesn't happen with me."
Tifid is silent for a moment, then looks into your eyes as you stare into hers.
"Do you want to break up?"

You feel your heart ache at the question and say "What? No! Never!"

Tifid smiles.
"Good," she says. "I don't want to either."
She brings her face close to yours and kisses you passionately. You can feel her wrapping her legs around your waist as she pulls you into her body, grinding her hips against yours.

You say "I'm just saying... I'll follow your lead this time, how's that sound?"

"Perfect," she says, smiling.
Tifid and you embrace in a long, slow kiss, your hands exploring each other's bodies as you do so. Then, the two of you begin to kiss and touch each other all over, taking the time to slowly appreciate each other's bodies.

<Tifid's thoughts about Gil>
Gilly's such a dumbass. He always shouts weird phrases and won't stop waving that bee gun around. I hate that thing. But he's so sweet and nice, and he loves me, so I put up with it.
The sex is great (even if he's really rough sometimes), and I really care about him. It makes me regret we fought for so long.
It's still hard to believe that the boy I'd fall in love with would end up being a human.
They're so much weaker than demons. Gilly is different, though.
He's clumsy and weird, but somehow manages to be an excellent thief. I mean he has to be - he ended up stealing my heart.
I really do love him. I should make the effort to tell him that more often.

<Your POV>
You close your eyes as you follow Tifid's lead. The two of you hold each other close, and gently rock back and forth as you grind against one another. You can feel her long, sticky demon tongue in your mouth, and the warmth of her body is enough to cause your head to spin. After a while, she pulls the two of you apart and looks deep into your eyes.
"Hey, Gil..." she says, sheepishly.
"Something wrong?" you ask.
"No, I wanted to say... I love you, Gilly."
"I love you too, Tifid.

You let Tifid take the lead.

You let Tifid take the lead. She gently slides down your body, planting soft kisses along your stomach and crotch as she goes. When she finally reaches your crotch, she looks up at you and smiles briefly. Then, she takes out your cock from its confines, licking it slowly as it hardens in her mouth. Her eyes are fixated on it as she continues licking, as if fascinated by its existence. She nibbles and teases it with her lips and tongue, and she easily wins your lust over as it becomes fully erect. She smiles in satisfaction, and begins to slowly move her head closer to it. Her lips make contact with the tip, and she begins to push more of it into her mouth as more of her hair spills out of her bun.

You undo her ribbon and let her hair down.

You reach forward and slowly untie the ribbon holding up her hair. Her pale-rose hair spills down onto her shoulders, and you let it fall through your fingers. She looks up at you and smiles before going back to work. The softness of her hair and the warmth of her mouth are enough to push you over the edge, but you do your best to hold it back, not wanting it to be over just yet.

You brush Tifid's hair back for her while she blows you.

You brush Tifid's hair back for her while she blows you. She looks up at you and smiles, then takes you even deeper into her mouth. Her lips gently caress every inch of your cock as she moves it in and out, and the warmth of her mouth combined with the softness of her hair tickles your legs.

You say "Haaah...f-fuck... Tifid... k-kiss it! Please! I love it like that!"

She licks the head of your cock before kissing it softly. You grit your teeth as it almost becomes too much to bear.
Tifid giggles, enjoying your reaction.
"You like that?"
"Y-Yeah...!"
She moves up and down the length of your head and shaft, planting kisses everywhere as she moves.
Tifid goes even faster, her hair flying everywhere as her mouth works to make you cum.

You say "Sshhit! Tifid... I'm gonna...!"

You feel yourself at the brink. Just when you're about to cum, Tifid pushes your hips away, holding you back.
"No... Not yet."
"F-Fuck! Why'd you stop?"
She looks at you with a mischevous grin, planting another kiss on your lips.
"Oh Gilly, you're so impatient. Sometimes..." she whispers as she traces her fingertips along your jawline. "Sometimes, you have to learn how to wait."
She looks at you with those sultry eyes of hers before moving in for another kiss. You can taste yourself on her lips.
"If you want me to let you cum," she says, breaking the kiss for a moment. "You'll have to wait until I say you can."

You say "Fuck... fuck you're evil!"

Tifid pulls her head back and slaps you across the face.
"Bad Gilly! I didn't give you permission to speak."
You wince as she grabs a handful of your hair, forcing you to look into her eyes.
"Do you want me to stop?" she asks.
"Fuck no..."
Tifid pulls your hair harder, forcing your head to tilt all the way back. Then, she plants her mouth firmly on yours.
"Then shut up," she whispers, releasing your hair. "Now, be a good boy and stay quiet."
You nod eagerly as Tifid grabs a hold of your wrists, pulling your hands behind your back. She wraps your arms with the belt of her skirt, binding them together tightly.
"That's a good boy."
Tifid's sudden change in demeanor surprises you. You didn't know she was into this type of thing, but it's getting you so hot and bothered you don't care.
You stay quiet, not wanting to spoil Tifid's fun. She's in a playful mood, and if you want your orgasm you'll have to go along with it.
Tifid grabs a hold of your wrist, and bends your elbows backwards, over your head and behind the sofa. She ties your bound wrists to the frame, pulling it taught so you have no choice but to sit there.

You play along and whimper "Wh-What are you going to do to me, demon?"

Tifid slaps you again.
"Didn't I say to shut up? Now that you've asked, I'm going to do whatever I want with you. You're going to lie there and take it. If you do anything but, I'll break your legs. Got it?"
You whimper and nod anxiously as she ties your ankles to the legs of the sofa, forcing your legs apart.
You're no longer sure if she's just role-playing or if she's actually serious now... you don't want to risk finding out.
Tifid steps back, giving you a good look at her. Her breasts are practically falling out of her blouse as she smiles cruelly down at you.
"Now then, what should I do with you?" she asks, running a finger along your cheek. "Hmm, what would feel good?"
She traces the outline of your jaw as she thinks.

You gulp and patiently await your fate, your cock at aching painfully at full mast.

"Shall we try this?" she asks, taking her long, purple fingernails and slicing them down your chest.
You gasp in pain as four long cuts appear on your chest, from the top of your pecs to just above your belly button. You wince and grit your teeth as the demoness slowly slides her fingernails up the cuts, making you shudder in pain.

You grit your teeth and say "Ow fuck!!"

Tifid's expression suddenly changes, as if snapping out of a trance.
"Oh... oh shit! This really hurts, doesn't it?" she says guiltily.
"Well yeah... but wasn't that the point?"
"Sorry... I got a bit... carried away..." she says nervously.
"It's fine," you assure her. "It was... really fucking hot."
She smiles in relief.
"That's good. I need to learn when to stop. Especially when I'm on top," she says with a wink.
She looks at your bleeding chest and frowns.
"Sorry, I can't get back into it anymore..."

You say "Shit, I guess I should've kept my mouth shut."

"Don't worry, I get it. It's hot. It's part of the fantasy."
She casts a spell over you, and your chest quickly begins to heal. By the time she leans in to kiss you, you're left with only a few light scars across your chest.
"Mmmm, there we go," she smiles, before kissing you deeply.

You say "You know, I would've been happy to bear those scars. I'd wear 'em with pride."

"I know," Tifid smiles. "But I don't want you to have to wear scars just for my twisted fantasies."
Tifid gently presses her lips against yours, kissing you softly.

You say "Still, it was really cool knowing what you're into. But... can you untie me now? My arm's starting to fall asleep."

"Oh! Yeah, of course!"
Tifid undoes your restraints, gently rubbing circulation back into your numb arm.
"Thanks," you say.
"So... after all that, you still wanna be with me?" Tifid asks nervously.

You kiss her passionately and say "Does that answer your question?"

"I guess it does," she smiles.
You lean in and kiss her passionately, and for a moment you're lost in the moment... until you hear the door opening.
You quickly look up, to see Magos Cern standing in the doorway. He glares at you with intense focus.
"What's going on here?"

You pull up your pants and yell "WHAT THE FUCK?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

You pull up your pants and leap to your feet, yelling at Magos. He stares at you impassively, as you begin to sweat nervously.
"Do you know who I am?" Magos says calmly.
"Yeah, you're Magos fucking Cern. Now get the fuck out of here!"
Magos walks forward, raising an eyebrow.
"Did I startle you?

You draw your bee gun and yell "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CRIB ASSHOLE!"

You raise your gun, pointing it at Magos. He stares at you, before smiling.
"Is that a bee gun? How quaint."
He draws a gun of his own and points it at you.
"Bees are nothing compared to mantids."
He fires, and you scream as a mantid's claws collides into your chest. You collapse to the ground, watching as your bees fly around you.
Magos looks at the mantis disappointedly.
"You could've at least killed him."
Magos points his gun at you, ready to fire again, but suddenly stumbles backwards as your bees fly into his eyes.
"FUCK!" he screams "MY EYES!"
Tifid watches in confusion as the two of your roll around the room, the bees stinging at Magos' face, and the mantis clawing at yours.
Magos begins blindly firing his gun, sending more mantises tearing through the room.
"What the fuck do I do?" she asks.

You yell "Kick his ass!!" while you tear the mantis off you and smash it into the floor.

"Kick his ass!!" you yell, and Tifid leaps into the fray.
She lands a couple of kicks to Magos' face, and he weakly shoves her away. You pick up the mantis claw and ram it into Magos' chest repeatedly, watching as he weakly defends himself.
Magos grabs you by the throat, and begins to choke the life out of you.

You crush his fingers and yell "Don't fucking touch my girlfriend you piece of shit!"

You crush his fingers, and he screams in pain.
"NOOO!" he yells.
You sit on top of him, ramming the mantis into his chest repeatedly as hard as you can. Magos twitches and weakly twirls around his fingers, but blood is pouring out of his chest, and you know the magician is dead.
"Holy shit" says Tifid, "You killed him."
"Yeah, thanks for the help back there, babe!" you say, tossing the mashed mantis aside.
"That was... so fucking hot" mutters Tifid, "I never noticed how muscular you look when you're killing someone."

Fuck on Magos Cern's corpse.

"Take me, Gil! Fuck me on this asshole's corpse!"
Tifid gets on her hands and knees over the corpse, and begins grinding her ass back at you. You're harder than you've ever been in your whole life.
You position yourself behind her, and easily slide into her wet vagina.
"Oh fuck" she yells in surprise as you begin thrusting in and out of her.
"God you're tight, Tif!" you cry out.
Tifid's sopping cunt grips onto your dick as you pound her from behind.
The two of you fuck like a madman and a lustful beast on the dead body of Magos Cern.
With every thrust, blood spurts out from his mouth and wounds with a sickening squelching noise, splattering all over the floor and walls.
"Shit" says Tifid, "I think some of the blood got inside me..."

You say "Looks like we don't need lube then"

Tifid turns around to look at you with a smile. She buries her face in the gaping wound in the corpse's chest.
You continue fucking atop the dead body as Tifid begins moaning and laughing, enjoying herself.
"Yeah baby, fuck me!" she yells, as one of her hands disappears under her, no doubt pleasuring herself.
"Oh shit!" she yells as you begin to orgasm.
She sinks her teeth into the corpse to stifle her own screams. You pull out and cover her back in semen.
"I made a mess!" she says gleefully.
"Me too" you say, wiping the blood off your dick with the dead body's clothes.
The two of you collapse beside the corpse of Magos Cern, panting.

You say "Shit, we gotta get this thing out of here before it starts to fester in the heat..."

"Well I'm not touching it" Tifid say.
"We literally just fucked on it" you complain. "We gotta move it".
"Fine" she says, standing up.
Tifid attempts to move, but can't get off the corpse because her vagina is stuck on a piece of cracked rib.
"Help me!" she yells, as the corpse's asshole suddenly expands, and begins to secrete a thick brown fluid.
"Oh dear God! It's shit!" you yell.
Tifid manages to dig out the piece of rib, but the smell is too much for her, and she collapses to the ground, vomiting.

You vomit at the sight of Tifid vomiting.

Your vomit joins the growing puddle of bile, blood, and post-mortem discharge, creating a new, orange colored mixture of puke.
"I think I'm dying!" you complain.
"Oh, shut up!" Tifid yells, between labored gasps.

You say "God damn it!! This is gonna take forever to get out!!"

"Here, let me take care of it!" Tifid says as she conjures a great fireball.
The fire burns the corpse, and the air around it. Soon, it begins to spread around the rest of the train.

You say "AHHHHH!!! WHY'D YOU DO THAT IN HERE?!"

"Oh shit" Tifid says as the two of you notice just how flammable the interior of the train car is.
The fire licks at the cars, and soon catches the gas canisters at the kitchenette.
Sparks begin to fly from the gas cans, and soon they're spouting huge plumes of flame.
The car quickly fills with an orange glow, and you find yourself burning up.
"Let's get the fuck out of here!!" Tifid screams, as the two of you burst through the wall with your combined, superhuman strength, and roll to safety on the gravel.
The car explodes behind you, casting flaming debris in all directions.

You say "... Fuck."

"Oops," Tifid says.
You watch in dumbstruck silence as your hideout and your livelihood burn away.
"I'm so sorry, Gil!" Tifid says.
You stay silent for a moment, before gathering yourself.
"It's okay," you reply.
"That was my fault."

You shrug and say "It's nothing... it's all material anyway. All things that are born and created must one day fade away. Nothing lasts forever" as you shed a single tear.

"Don't hate me, Gil! Please! I'll make it up to you! I'll pay for the damage! I'll get us a new place to live, with enough money that we'll never have to work again!"
"It's fine, Tifid. I don't need much. I have my bee gun, and I have you."
"I'm so, so sorry..."
You stare at her blankly.
"It's just a train... but it's still a home..."
Tifid starts to cry.
"I'm sorry...! I'm sorry...!"
You start to cry.
"It's fine... I'll forgive you."
"But you're crying!"
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Tifid. The loss of one train is not enough to make me cry," you say as hot tears stream down your face.
The two of you hold each other in front of the burning wreckage. Eventually the flames burn out, and the sun begins to set.

You say "So... um... can I move in with you?"

"... Yeah. Of course! Of course you can!" Tifid says, wiping the tears from her eyes.

You turn to the camera, wink, and whisper "Oh we in now, boys!"

The audience breaks into hysterical laughter and cheering. One of them stands up and gives you a thumbs up, while another offers you a bottle of wine. You accept it, taking a swig before passing it to Tifid who drains it.
"I broke the fourth wall!" you say in amazement. The audience begin to cheer louder.
"That's my boy!" the man says, grinning ear to ear.

You patch up the fourth wall before it breaks reality, then look for anything you can salvage from the wreck.

You shoo the audience away and they disperse, some of them laughing, while others curse at you and make obscene gestures.
You find a silver spoon in the wreckage, and keep it.
"Do you think that will be enough?" Tifid asks.
"It's a start," you say. "I'm sure we'll find something else."
You continue looking through the wreck until you find something shiny.

You dig the shiny object out of the charred metal.

The object is a gun. You recognize it as Magos Cern's mantis rifle.
It looks like a Remington 710 except it's completely silver and shoots mantises instead of bullets.

You yell "OH. MY. GOD." and acquire mantis gun.

You have acquired the mantis gun. You can now shoot the future predators of the galaxy.
"Now we can shoot at anything!" you say, giving Tifid a grin.
Tifid rubs her temples and sighs. "Well it's better than bees."

You say "This makes everything worth it. My whole life has lead up to this moment."

"I don't know if I agree with that... but at least you're happy. That's all that matters," Tifid says.

You hug her and say "You're the best!"

Tifid smiles. "I know, but let's keep looking. There might be more stuff we can salvage."
You keep looking through the debris from the wrecked train car, looking for anything of yours that survived.
Eventually, you end up with a pile of stuff that halfway salvageable, along with Magos Cern's body, which survived completely unharmed.

You say "What the fuck? Is this guy fireproof?"

"It would appear so," she says.
"God dammit, the entire reason we blew the train up was to get rid of the body," you say angrily.
"There's always the mantis gun." Tifid says sarcastically.
"Yeah. Fucking hell, that's a lot of firepower for one person."
"You should let the mantises deal with him," Tifid says.
"Yeah, but they might breed in the corpse and take over the world!" you say.
"So?" Tifid asks. "It's not like they're going to be sentient or something..."
You stare at her in disbelief. "Yeah, we'll see about that," you say.
"They'll probably just be fun killing," Tifid says, "Let's turn this piece of shit into something useful."
"Into what?" you ask in confusion.
Tifid grins. "Let's turn him into a bomb."

You hold the mantis gun in reverence and say "Mantises are powerful creatures, much more so than bees. They must be respected. Magos Cern was a foolish man who did not respect the mantises and he paid for it with his life."

"That's one way to put it," Tifidan says.
Your belief in the mantis gun pays off, as it manages to keep you and Tifid alive. Now you have to come up with some way to get rid of Magos Cern's body.
"Well we can't burn him or bury him," you say. "Let's throw him off a cliff."
You drag Magos Cern's body through town, toward the lake. A few people glance in your direction, but they don't say anything. Soon, you reach the lake shore.
You carry him up and find a suitable cliff, one with a view of the ocean. You throw Magos' body over the edge. It falls down, but then stops abruptly in midair, hanging there.
"What the fuck?" you ask.
"Oh dear," Tifid says. "It appears the Void has another plan for him."
You look up. A large, pitch black entity is holding Magos' body in midair. It speaks in a low, raspy voice.
"I believe I am the answer to your question, Earthling."
"What are you?" you ask.
"I am the Empty Night," it says. "I am a self-made god motivated by an ever-growing, ever-loving need to consume."
"A god?" you ask. "What do you want with us?"
"You interest me. I want you to join me."
You and Tifid look at each other.
"What do we get out of it?" you ask.
"I will fill your desire," Empty Night says. "For a price, of course."
You and Tifid discuss the offer for some time. Tifid's smart - she doesn't take the offer immediately, instead thinking about it.
"He's lying. Deals with dark gods never work out. Trust me, I'm a demon. I'd know."

You whisper "I agree, he came out of Magos' asscrack. Nothing good ever came from there."

"I agree," you say. "He came out of Magos' asscrack. Nothing good ever came from there."
Tifid hesitates, then nods slowly.
"Ok," she says. "Let's reject his offer."
You nod in response, and turn back toward town.
"Hey, wait! Where are you going?" it cries. "Don't you want to join me?"
"Sorry, no," you say.
"Don't worry, I'll have the last laugh!" Empty Night says. "You'll soon get bored on Earth, and come back to me!"
"I doubt it," you say.
Somehow, in its own way, Empty Night sounds sad when it replies.
"Fools! I will have my revenge!"
"Fuck you, asshole!" you say.
"Fuck you, asshole!" Tifid says, echoing your insult.
Empty Night flies away, sobbing.
Tifid looks at you.
"What the hell was that?"
"No idea," you reply.
The two of you walk back to Heksten in silence.

You say "So... I guess we'll move my stuff to your place then? I'm a little excited, I've never been to your place before."

"So... I guess we'll move my stuff to your place then? I'm a little excited, I've never been to your place before."
"Sure, why not," Tifid says. "Let's head back, then go to my place."
You nod. After a short walk, you arrive back at the town.
Tifid picks up all the stuff you salvaged from the wreckage of your old hideout and throws them into her storage portal.
The two of you then walk to a part of the city you've never been to, and soon arrive at Tifid's place. It's a small, one-story house, very humble.
"Well, here it is," Tifid says. "Sorry for the lack of stairs."

You say "Wow, this place is really comfy. I thought you'd live in a mansion, being the Demon President's daughter and all."

"Yeah, I got the mansion torn down so I could build this place."
"Wait so you had a mansion, and tore it down?!"
"Mhmm, I don't like big houses."
"But why?!"
"It's just nice to live in a small house. I don't need anything else."
You don't know if that's really cool, or really stupid.
Well, whatever makes Tif happy.
"So what do you wanna do now that we're here?

You get flirty and say "I dunno... what do YOU wanna do?"

"It's your place... what do YOU wanna do?" you ask, flirtatiously.
Tifid thinks about it for a moment, then smiles.
"You want to try something fun?" she asks.
"Hell yeah," you say.
"Okay, follow me then."
Tifid unlocks the door and gestures for you to follow.
When you enter the house, your jaw almost drops. The interior is nothing like the humble-looking exterior.
It looks like a secret base straight out of a movie.
The place is huge, with giant walls covered with high-tech gadgets and monitors.
You see a bunch of bunks, a kitchen, a firing range, a large computer, and much more.

You say "What the hell? THIS is where you've been living? I thought you said you didn't like big houses?"

"I don't."
"So why'd you make this giant?" you ask.
"It isn't that big... is it?" Tifid replies, looking genuinely confused.

You start crying because, this entire time, your arch-rival lived in the literal secret base of your dreams while you lived in a shitty train car.

"What's wrong?" Tifid asks, sounding concerned.
"I'm... I'm jealous," you say between sobs.
"Wait a minute... YOU'RE JEALOUS?!?"
"YES! You have all the high-tech stuff!"
"That's it? That's what you're upset about?"

You say "You don't understand a man's heart, Tif. I've literally dreamt about a place like this since I was a boy."

"I don't know why you're so upset. You live here now, too. Forget about it."
"Well, yeah. But, I mean... that's not the point."
"You don't like this old place?"

You say "Are you kidding me?! I love it! Hurry, show me everything!"

You and Tifid spend the next few hours going through everything in the base.
The kitchen is well-stocked with food.
The firing range turns out to be even better-equipped than you imagined.
You see high-tech medical stations.
A gigantic library.
You enter a room with a bunch of game consoles, new and old, as well as a gaming PC.
You find a room full of action figures, comic books, and fantasy novels.
A room with only workout equipment.
Finally, you enter a bedroom bigger than two of your old hideouts put together.

You say "Jesus Christ... I hope I don't become a useless, trophy boyfriend."

"Oh, you won't," Tifid says. "We'll still spend time together. Come on, we should go meet my father."
"Does he know?" you ask.
"I have no idea," she answers.
Tifid suddenly seems worried. Your heart drops.
"What's wrong?" you ask.
"Um... nothing." She looks away nervously. "Never mind me."

You say "I thought you didn't live with your dad... is he here right now?"

"Yeah, he's visiting today," she answers. "Come on, I'll show you."
She leads you through unfamiliar hallways for a while, before stopping in a dimly lit room.
You find yourself in a well-lit room. A man covered with tentacles sits in the corner of the room, his back to you.
Even without seeing his face, you notice the massive horns protruding from the top of his head. Now you know where Tifid got hers.
"Daddy, I want you to meet someone," Tifid says. "This is Gil! He's my boyfriend."
The man turns around. You're horrified by what you see.
His head is partially human, but his eyes are gone, replaced with tentacles that writhe in place of a face. The only distinguishing feature on his face is a single, gaping maw filled with rows of razor-teeth.
"Hello," the strange creature says in a deep, guttural voice. "Tifid has told me much about you. You met through work, did you not?"

You adjust your posture as straight as you can and say "Y-Yes sir, Mr. President, sir! It's a pleasure to finally meet you! Tifid has been so good to me!"

"It is as she says," the demon answers. "Now that I've finally met you, it's time for me to decide whether or not to keep you around."
His eyes narrow. He stares at you in silence for what seems like an eternity.
You stand frozen the entire time. You're not sure if it's some sort of demon ability, but you can't seem to move a muscle.
"Baw haw haw haw!" he suddenly laughs. "You may be young, but you have a strong set of shoulders. Looks like Tifid's luck improved when she met you!"

You say "Trust me sir, that goes double for me."

The Demon President, Pellius, leans over and puts a hand on your shoulder. His presence is enough to make you almost pass out.
He leans over close to you and whispers into your ear.
"Just between you and I, she's a sucker for compliments. Just give her some hugs and kisses and tell her she's the prettiest girl you know. She eats that shit up."

You smirk and say "Ain't that the truth!"

Pellius grins. "Ah, you know it boy! You know it!"
"We're going to get along just fine."
You sigh in relief as he takes his hand off you.
"So, you're in love with my daughter?"
"Of course!"
"What color is her blood?" he asks, without warning.

You gulp and say "I-I'm afraid I don't understand that question, s-sir..."

Tifid steps between the two of you.
"Oh quit it, Daddy! You know it doesn't matter! That's just some dumb demon tradition."
"What tradition," you ask?
"Oh, it's a long story..." Tifid says.
"No, Tifid," says Pellius, cutting her off. "We may be on Earth, but we're still damn demons. Now answer my question, boy!"

You say "So... if I answer correctly, does that mean I pass?"

"That's right. Now go on, answer!"

You say "It's purple! I've seen it plenty of times!"

Tifid sighs and puts her palm over her face. It seems she's not having much fun with her father.
"Do... do I pass?" you ask, sheepishly.
"Yes, you answered correctly," says Pellius. "But that means you've seen my daughter bleed!"
"What?"
"That's right, boy! You've seen her blood! You've seen my darling Tifid wounded!"

You beg for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry! I'm a terrible boyfriend!" you repeat, over and over again.
"You misunderstand. That's a wonderful thing!" Pellius says. "Now let me finish, boy! Do you really love my daughter?"
"Yes!"
"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with her?"
"Yes! I want to spend the rest of my life with, and love her!"
"Would you die for her?!"
"Yes! I would give up my life to save Tifid!"
"Oh, Daddy, what's the point of--"
"Shut it, Tifid! This is important!"
"I would, sir! I really would! I love Tifid!"
"Good! You pass!"

You say "Thank you sir!"

"Thank you for you approval, sir! I'll take good care of Tifid!" you say, trying your hardest not to cry.
Pellius lets out another monstrous laugh, his tentacles wriggling happily.
"Well, don't get carried away. The two of you are young! Get hurt! Beat each other up a bit! It keeps relationships interesting! But, we're demons! We do have a habit of getting what we want. Take my advice, boy: get her knocked up as soon as you can!"
Pellius slaps your shoulders repeatedly. His massive hands and tentacle-like arms are as big as tree trunks. You nearly fall from the force of his slaps.
"Okay Daddy, I think you've had enough fun!" Tifid shouts.
"Yes, I think so too. I must leave now. Gil, I trust you'll remember our conversation!"
Pellius gives Tifid a great hug before he emits a black plume of smoke from his mouth. He screeches horribly before disappearing in a black cloud, leaving you to stare blankly at his now empty chair.

You fall to your knees and retch.

You fall to your knees and throw up until there's nothing left but bile.
The scent of your own vomit makes you feel sick. You grip your knees to your chest and rock back and forth for minutes.
Tifid rushes to your side and uses her own sleeves to wipe your barf off your face.
"I'm so sorry, Gilly! Oh, that was horrible! I'll let him have it the next time I see him!"
She picks you up and holds you close to her bosom.

You say "Actually... he seems like a pretty cool guy."

"What?!" Tifid shouts, clearly in shock.
"Yeah, I think that went really well!"
"But... he slapped you around and made you throw up!"

You say "Yeah, that was so badass. I hope we get to hang out more."

"You think he's a badass? Really??" Tifid says while helping you to your feet.
"Yeah, don't you think so?"
"Hell no! He's an old-fashioned geezer! He's messing you, you know!!"
"No, I think he's just being honest."
Tifid sighs and shakes her head.
"Well don't go taking after him, or I might die of shame."

You say "You know... he gave me permission to 'knock you up', what do you think of that?"

"I think you shouldn't do that... oh hell no! I can't have babies! I'm too young and I want to have fun!"
She gives you a cheeky grin.
"Yeah it is a bit early... but... eventually?" you say, half-jokingly.
Tifid bursts into laughter.
"Give it a year or so. If you're still being a weirdo, and I'm still being a badass, then we'll talk about it," she says.
"Deal!" you say, holding out your hand.
Tifid looks at it before snatching it away.
"Don't shake your girlfriend's hand like a fucking normie!" she says, snatching her hand away.
"Sorry," you say, laughing.
"Fuck you, you're fine!" she says, laughing along with you.
Tifid cuddles up against your arm.
"Let's get some sleep, Gilly. I've still got school tomorrow."

You say "You... you go to school?"

"Of course I do! I'm not a fucking bum! Give me some credit!" she says, almost yelling.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to offend you or anything, you're perfect in every way imaginable. You're the air I breathe," you say, quickly changing the subject.
"Shut up and hold me, Gilly."

You say "No really though, I thought you were a spell thief."

"Plenty of people have part-time jobs in college," she says.
"You're in college?" you say, surprised.
"Yeah, I just said that," she says.

You say "Oh thank god. College. Phew!"

She punches your arm.
"I'm fucking smart, you idiot! I never said I was in kindergarten!" she says, laughing.
"That's not... never mind. I need a shower."
"Yeah, you do. You smell," she says.
Suddenly, you both laugh.
"You're still a weirdo," she says.
"You're still a badass," you reply, smiling.
"Damn right."
You smile and hold her tight.

You go take a shower in Tifid's awesome secret heist base.

"Alright, I'll go wash up," you say.
You walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. While the water heats up, you undress, throwing your clothing into a pile in the corner of the room.
You step quickly into the tub and under the hot water. You let out a sigh as you relax. It's almost orgasmic to be honest.
It's been ages since you had a real shower. The one back in your old hideout was nothing compared to this one. You could get used to this.
You wash yourself with some 'Megan's Scents' soap. Before today, you didn't even know that soaps came in smells other than 'DISH'.
You wonder who Megan is, and why they're making soap out of her. Maybe she got caught stealing and was sentenced to death.
Next, you wonder what Tifid's doing right now. You know she's just a few rooms away, but she might as well be lightyears away.
You wish she could be in the shower with you, but you'd probably end up fucking again and staying up too late.
You wonder what she's thinking. Is she even thinking about you?

You yell "TIFID! ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT ME?!"

Tifid's voice rings out from somewhere down the hall.
"NO! GOING TO MY ROOM!"
"OK!" you yell back.
It's a little disappointing knowing that Tifid is thinking about her room instead of you, but you don't really mind.
This is the happiest you've been in a while, and it's all thanks to Tifid. You'd do anything for her. You'd die for her, you love her...
You shake your head. Damn, I really AM in love with her.
You lie in the tub, thinking about all the things you love about Tifid.
You love that she's smart and pretty, but also kicks tons of ass.
You love that she gets annoyed when you do dumb things, but always tolerates it in the end.
You love how she gives the best hugs ever. It's almost like she's using some sort of weird 'magic'. Or maybe it's because she's so short and cute.
You love how she sticks by you through thick and thin, even though it's got to be difficult sometimes.
You love how the two of you can bicker and fight until you're at each other's throats, but always end up making up in the end.
And of course, the sex is amazing, but that's just a small part of it.
You wonder if this is what love at first sight is, because you've never been in this position before. It doesn't matter; you're in it now, and you can't imagine anyone better to be in this situation with.
You're thinking about her so much, you begin to feel a sharp pain in your chest.
It's not a sharp pain though, it's a good pain.
You hear the door to the bathroom creak open, and glance over to see Tifid standing at the doorway with a towel around her.

You say "Whoa... hey."

Tifid looks over at you, not startled in the slightest.
"Hey yourself. You look comfy."
"Yeah, this rocks... I could get used to this."
You smile at her, and she smiles back.
"Um... you got room in there?"

You say "For you? Fuck yes I do" and scoot over in the tub.

She smiles.
"I don't think we'll be able to fit," you say. No matter how much you move, the tub is built for one person.
Tifid just giggles and steps in anyway.
Her towel falls off, and her slick, wet body presses into yours.
"I guess we will now."
She lies in the tub on top of you, resting her head against your chest.
You catch the magnificent scent of her hair. Combined with the hot water, you start to feel a little woozy.
"Mmmm... it's been ages since I've had a proper bath..."
She yawns, and closes her eyes.
"You want to scrub my back?"
"Sure thing," you say.
You grab the soap and begin to rub it between your hands, creating a foamy lather.
"I... I love you, Gilly."
Never having been in a proper relationship before, this experience overwhelms you.

You say "I love you too, Tif, I can't say that enough."

Tifid smiles.
"I know you do."
The two of you lie together in the tub. There's not much talking for a while.
"Hey, Gilly?" Tifid asks after a bit.
"Yeah?"
"Um... how many females have you been with before me?"

You bluntly say "None, you're my first and only girlfriend."

"Really?"
"Yeah."
"That's so adorable. I'm your first."
She smiles.
You start to wonder if she's feeling a sense of pity, but the way her hand is resting against yours says something different.

You say "What about you? Any exes I should know about?"

"Guys mostly, and none that mattered."
"None that mattered?"
"Yeah, I mean I dated a few guys in High School, but they were all kind of dumb and full of themselves. So was I, really."

You say "You know, I'm kind of dumb and full of myself."

"Wow am I really hearing this? Gil, the great thief himself, admitting he's dumb... sure, you're not the brightest. But I like that about you."
You shoot her a wry smile.
"Don't tell anyone," you say.
"My lips are sealed.

You say "Well... gotta make sure..." and lean in to kiss her.

Tifid leans in to kiss you back.
"Well? Do they seem sealed enough?"
"I guess they are," you say, smiling.
The two of you kiss for a while, before Tifid speaks again.
"Hey... you wanna do it in this tub?"
"Do what?"
"You know... have sex. It seems like we're in a good place right now, so... why not?"
You stare into Tifid's eyes for a moment, then look down at the water.

You say "The water's gonna get filthy... and plus we don't have condoms."

"It's okay, we can just take another bath, and as for condoms..."
Tifid moves her face next to your ears and whispers very slowly, and very deliberately.
"We. Don't. Need. Them."
You've never heard of this method of birth control before.
"Is that a special spell to prevent pregnancy or something?" you ask.
"No, silly. I just mean it's a safe time for me. So we can do it raw."
"Oh. Well that's great... but wait, isn't it still possible for me to get you pregnant anyway?"
Tifid rolls her eyes at you.
"Just shut up and kiss me, Gil."
You shut up and kiss her.

You fondle her tiddies.

You reach out and grope Tifid's breasts. They're small, but they feel nice in your hands. You squeeze them, and Tifid makes a small sound in the back of her throat. She wraps her arms around your neck and moves her hips against yours, grinding her crotch against your erect penis.
Tifid stops kissing you and looks into your eyes for a moment.
"Do you want to go further?"

You jam her down on your dick.

"Fuck yes!" you say, pulling Tifid's hips forward and sliding your dick inside of her.
Tifid's pussy is very warm, and wet. You feel like your dick is in a velvet glove. Tifid gasps as you thrust into her again and again, harder and faster with each thrust. She wraps her legs around your waist and leans her head back against the tub as she moans in ecstasy.

You pick her up and pull her into a sitting position.

You pick Tifid up in your arms, still inside her as she wraps her legs around your waist and her arms around your shoulders. She starts kissing you again as the water runs over the two of you. You feel a tingling in your groin as you thrust deeper and deeper into her, feeling the tip of your dick press against her cervix. You moan into her mouth as you begin to feel yourself coming closer to orgasm.

You hold it in to ensure Tifid cums before you do.

You begin thrusting slower, trying to hold off your orgasm as long as possible. Tifid wraps her arms around your head and presses your face against her left breast, moaning in ecstasy.
"Oh God, Gil. I'm... I'm..." she pants.
Tifid suddenly stiffens and lets out a moan of ecstasy, digging her fingernails into your shoulders.

You tease her nipples with your tongue while fucking her.

You pull back a bit, licking and sucking on her stiff nipples as she moans in ecstasy. Tifid's arms begin to tremble, and she releases her death grip on your shoulders.
"Oh fuck, Gil! I'm gonna... holy shit!" she pants.
Tifid suddenly begins shaking as an orgasm wracks through her body. You can feel her pussy begin to convulse as it tightly grips your dick.

You hold Tifid close and let her cum.

You pull her close and hold her tight as she orgasms.
She buries her face into your shoulder and lets out short, sharp breaths.

You stroke her back and let her ride it all out.

You gently stroke her back as she rides out her orgasm. She slowly comes back to earth, breathing heavily.
"Oh my God," she pants. "That was amazing."
You begin thrusting into her again as she wraps her legs around your waist and kisses you on the lips.
"Mmh, Gil. I want you to... inside... I want your cum inside me..." she says between kisses.

You say "I'm really close, too. Hold onto me."

"I'm really close, too. Hold onto me."
You grip her shoulders as you begin to fuck her with wild abandon. Tifid's hips are moving in time with your thrusts, and you can hear wet noises as your hips make contact. You lean in and kiss her on the mouth as you begin to tense up.
"Tif...! Tifid! I'm gonna...!" you manage to grunt.
"Me too, Gil! Oh fuck! I'm coming again!" she moans loudly.
You feel Tifid's pussy tighten significantly around your dick as you groan loudly.
"Hold on! I'll pull...!" you begin to say, but Tifid interrupts you.
"GIL! GIL YOU IDIOT!" Tifid screams. "Don't pull out! Fill up my womb! PLEASE!"

You grab Tifid's horns as you 中出 the fuck out of her.

You grab Tifid's horns as you release a torrent of pent up seed into her womb. She bites down on her lips and goes quiet, unable to express the waves of euphoria that are flooding through her body. She digs her fingers into your arms, gripping so tightly that her knuckles turn pale. Her demonic strength causes handprint-shaped bruises to appear. Her fingernails pierce into your skin, but you don't even feel it. All you feel is the pleasure flowing out of you and into her.
Tifid locks her legs around you and holds you inside her as your orgasm begins to subside. You thrust a few more times before your body is able to relax. Your grip on Tifid's horns lessens as you lean back and take a deep breath. You watch Tifid's face as her own tension is released. A thin trickle of blood comes out of her nose, and she begins to pant heavily.
Tifid loses strength in her fingers and her hands fall limply off your arms. You manage to catch her before she falls off you and hold her against you. You somehow manage to remain standing as you hold her in your arms, feeling both of your hearts beating rapidly.

<Tifid's POV>
Unable to switch to Tifid's POV because she passed out.

You clean Tifid and yourself up and carry her to bed.

You look at Tifid, unconscious and vulnerable in your arms. You feel so... Protective of her. You always have ever since you met her, but right now it feels different. More powerful.
She means everything to you. Without her, your life has no meaning or purpose. She completes you.
And you're not going to let anyone take her away from you.
You drain the filthy water out of the tub and run it again. You gently set Tifid down in the warm water. You clean her off, and then yourself, before carrying her out and laying her on her bed. You cover her up and cuddle next to her, gently stroking her hair. You smile and kiss her forehead before drifting off to sleep.
You wake up to the feeling of something gently tapping your arm. You open your eyes and find yourself staring into Tifid's smiling face only a few inches away. You smile back and give her a quick peck on the lips.
"Good morning," she says.
"Good morning," you reply. "How long have you been awake for?"
"Not long," she replies. "I tried to let you sleep in."

You say "Are you okay? You passed out after we... did it last night."

"I'm fine, Gilly. I just... wasn't used to it, that's all."
"What do you mean?"
Tifid looks away and stares at the wall, her face turning red.
"I-It's embarrassing..."
"Tif, you can tell me anything."
"I get really sensitive when my horns are touched during sex. Especially when you grab them so aggressively."
You sigh with relief.

You shed a single tear and say "Thank you. Thank you for saying that."

"Gilly?"
"Nothing, Tif. It's nothing. I'm just... really happy right now."
You lean in to kiss her, and she does the same. After a few minutes you part, and you stare into her eyes for a while.

You say "愛しています"

"Gilly, you're speaking in Japanese."
You furrow your eyebrows and say, "Did I just say something in Japanese?"
Tifid smiles and nods.
"What did I say?"
"You said 'I love you'."
You smile and kiss her again.
"Well I do," you reply. "I really do."
"Anyway, Gilly, I have classes today so I'll be gone until the afternoon. Make sure to lock up if you're going out, okay?"
"Got it," you reply.
She stands up and begins to gather her clothes. She puts on her underwear and her stockings, then she pulls on her trousers and buttons up the fly. She throws on her tie and fastens it around her neck, then she puts on her blazer.
Tifid looks at you with a smile, then she walks over and kisses you goodbye.

You say "Have a good day, Tif."

"I will, Gilly," she replies.
She leaves the room, then you hear her exiting through the front door.
Looks like you'll be alone today.

You grab Tifid's pillow and huff her scent until it goes away.

You place the pillow on your face and inhale. Her scent disappears, but you don't care. You're enjoying it while it lasts.
Eventually you stop and get up. You go to Tifid's nightstand and find that Tifid has left a set of keys for you.

You worship the keys for awhile, then get dressed.

You clutch the keys in your palms as if they were sacred objects.
They say when a significant other gives you their house keys they are giving you the key to their heart.
These are Tifid's house keys, and she gave them to you.
You've been stealing all your life, but now you have something worth keeping. Something that's worth more than all the money in the world. You have Tifid.
And she has given you the key to her house. That means she trusts you, and wants you to have a place to stay whenever you want. Maybe even a place in her life.
A tear falls from your eye and hits one of the keys.

You stop crying and get dressed.

You stand and head into the bathroom to get dressed. You put on your clothes and fix your hair in the mirror.
Once you are satisfied with how you look, you head out the door.
Tifid won't be home anytime soon, that means you have the day to yourself.
You're starting to miss her already, but that's just how it is when you're in love.
But while you may miss her, that doesn't mean you can just sit around and wait. You have a day to yourself, and you're going to do something meaningful with it.

You use Tifid's supercomputer to look up the heist board.

You head down to Tifid's secret underground super-computer room. She has everything set up to break into various places, steal shit, and upload her findings to the heist board.
Tifid has it set up so that a single click of a button opens a security door at whatever place she wants to rob. She can also control cameras, locks, and other security features from here.

You wonder why Tifid needs all of this technology when she can use magic.

You have no idea why Tifid goes to such elaborate lengths to break into places, when she can just teleport inside.
She claims it's part of the fun, and that she actually does it for the intellectual challenge. You think she's full of shit, and just uses it as an excuse to try to one-up you. After all, you've never once seen her use magic in the bedroom.

Note to self: Next time Tifid wants to get frisky, suggest she teleport out of her clothes. You have a feeling that would be incredibly sexy.
Now that you think about it, you can't believe you've never thought of doing that before. Of course, you've only been fucking for like a week now, so you're still trying new things.

You see if there are any interesting jobs listed on the heist board.

You head to the heist board. There are currently no jobs available. This disappoints you.
Since there are no jobs available, you instead decide to look up someone you can potentially steal from instead.
Tifid's supercomputer has a vast database of Heksten's citizenry, from common civilians to wealthy celebrities and politicians.
All you have to do is type in a name to call up their details. The results will be displayed in the following format:

Name:
Age:
Profession:
Income:
Background:
Misc. Notes (by Tifid):

You search up "Ryan Gosling"

Name: Ryan Gosling
Age: 32
Profession: Actor
Income: $10,000,000.00 (per movie)
Background: Raised in Ontario, Canada. Seen in "The Mickey Mouse Club", "The Lovely Bones", "Crazy, Stupid, Love."
Misc. Notes (by Tifid): Would tap that.

You search up "Satan's True Identity"

Name: Satan
Age: Unknown
Profession: Demon-Lord
Income: Wealth of Hell
Background: [Redacted]
Misc. Notes (by Tifid): If you meet him, run.

You search up "The Mormon"

Name: The Mormon
Age: Unknown
Profession: Criminal Mastermind
Income: Unknown
Background: Leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Misc. Notes (by Tifid): I've been studying his movement for a while now, and while he isn't human, he sure acts like one. And that's very, very dangerous.

You search up "Anonymous"

Name: Anonymous
Age: Unknown
Profession: Unknown
Income: Unknown
Background: Unknown
Misc. Notes (by Tifid): I won't sell out anon.

You see what other features Tifid's computer has.

Tifid's supercomputer is quite impressive. It has several features, including a voice-controlled web browser, webcam, and a GPS system.
The GPS system is currently tracking the location of your vehicle.
Tifid also uses her supercomputer to talk to people online through video-chat.

You look up Tifid's browser history.

You attempt to look up Tifid's Internet history, but nothing shows up. Tifid has already cleared her history.

You go on "Taboo! Answers", a question and answer website designed for demons.

You go on a website called "Taboo! Answers", a question and answer website designed for demons. Demons ask each other questions, which other users can then freely post answers to.
The site also encourages humans to ask demons questions, and vice versa.

You ask "What is the ideal place to take a demon girl on a date?" and wait for 10 answers to come in.

The 10 most popular answers to "What is the ideal place to take a demon girl on a date?" are:
"A hot air balloon, so you can show her how much smaller she's made you feel."
"A cool, dark cave, to see if she gets scared like the wuss you are."
"A secluded location where nobody can find your corpse."
"A library, so she can finally shut up."
"A forest, so she can shut up to the sounds of wildlife."
"Your house, because you're too cowardly to defy her in case she murders you."
"A book store, because reading is sexy."
"An open area in a popular location. She might enjoy being on display for all to see."
"In a place where people can see how much of a pained slave she has made you."
"A place where there is very little chance of dying from embarrassment."
Most of these answers seem utterly useless, though you do narrow it down to three: hot air balloon, secluded location and book store.

You plan a date with Tifid involving all three locations.

You decide to go on a date that involves all three locations.
First, you'll visit a fancy book store.
Then, you'll take her up on a hot air balloon.
Finally, you'll land at a secluded location where nobody can find your corpse.
You don't really know why that last point is included, but it sounds badass, which is what matters.
There's just one problem: you're broke. Tifid might be rich, but there's no way you're asking for money from her. Instead, you decide to steal it.> You decide to steal from Ryan Gosling for your next heist.
After searching through Tifid's extensive list of viable targets, you decide to rob actor and musician, Ryan Gosling. You do it mostly because Tifid seems to have a bit of a celebrity crush on him.
"Should be easy enough," you think to yourself, as you begin planning the heist. You use the super computer to break into the security at his home. Surprisingly, it's not even that secure.

You decide this is too easy and heist him the old fashioned way.

You don't rely on the security of a system, you rely on your own skills, magic, and gadgets.
Your plan is simple. Drive up to his house in the middle of the night while he sleeps. Disable the alarms and camera systems. Drill a hole into his wall safe and steal everything inside. Should be easy.
You've already chosen your outfit for the job: your usual heist suit, a black mask, and a pair of leather driving gloves. You check yourself in the mirror. You don't look like a badass. You don't look intimidating. But looks are deceiving, and you're more than ready for this job.
You arrive in the Beverly Hills area at 3 AM, right in front of Ryan Gosling's house.

You sneak through the front yard and disable the security system.

You hop out of the getaway car, your gloved hands covered in rubber surgical tubing. You move slowly through the manicured lawn, toward the security system. There's no guard here, but they might be patrolling another part of the property. In addition, there are cameras and motion sensors everywhere. It'll be tough to disable everything without setting off any alarms.

You use your focus runes to sense the 5G in the air and avoid detection.

You step through the tall blades of grass, your feet pushing the blades aside. The cool air of the night rushes past you, making you shiver. The runes along your fingers begin to tingle, allowing you to feel the wireless signals in the air.
You spot the camera to your left, and quickly make your way around it. A cone of infrared light shines from its lens into the yard, but as long as you stay out of that you should be fine. You see the wall of the house up ahead, and begin moving toward it. Suddenly, an alarm shrills through the air, causing you to groan in exasperation.

You dive into a bush and use your bees to trick anyone who comes to check.

You roll into the nearby hedge, covering your body with leaves and petals. You raise your bee gun, and wait patiently for the guards to arrive. The alarm still blares through the air, so you're sure someone's coming to check it out.
Suddenly, two guards rush into view, heading straight for the security panel. You ready your gun.

You shoot bees to make make the guards think the insects tripped the alarm.

You raise your gun, pointing it at the guards. You take the trigger, sending a stream of bees at the two guards. They both twist around as the bees fly out at them, stinging furiously. The guards begin swatting at their faces and arms, trying to get the insects off of them. The bees' attack sends them into anaphylactic shock, and they soon lie on the ground, unconscious.

You hide their unconscious bodies in the bush and shut off the alarm.

You drag the guards' bodies into the hedge, keeping them out of sight. Once they're hidden, you walk up to the security panel and open it, disabling the alarm. You smile as you hear cheering from inside the house. The distraction worked! You quickly head back to the gate, using your bees to guide you.

You look for a place to break into Ryan Gosling's mansion.

You sneak around the outside of the mansion, looking for an entrance. The front door would be a choke point, easy to defend with only one entrance. The basement windows would be easy to breach, but likely have horrible sightlines. The skylights would give you the highest vantage point, but they'd be extremely exposed if you were spotted. The service entrance would have the least light and closest quarters for you to maneuver in.

You sneak into the mansion through the basement windows.

You sneak into the mansion through the basement windows. You find yourself in the basement, with four hallways leading away from the room. You go up to each hallway, pressing your ear against it to hear if anyone is on the other side. When you don't hear anything, you slowly peek your head around the corner to see what's down the hall.
Down the first hall, you see a room with a guard standing by the door.

You yell from around the corner "Hey guard, this is Ryan! I need you to stop guarding and go home!"

"Mr. Gosling? Is that you?" The guard asks.
"Yes, that's right! It is I, Ryan Gosling!" you yell from around the corner.
"Sir? Where are you? Why are you whispering?"
You hear the guard's footsteps getting closer.

You yell "Stop! Don't come this way! I-It's a full moon and I'm in my goose form right now! Honk!"

"Oh geez, I'm sorry Mr. Gosling! I didn't know!" The guard says, as you hear him retreating back to his chair.
"That's OK, you couldn't have known... Shit! The transformation is happening! Don't come over!"
"What should I do? Should I call an ambulance?" he says, with concern in his voice.
"No! Just go home! I'll see you tomorrow!" you yell.
"OK, good night, Mr. Gosling," he says.
You hear him head back to his chair.
"Shit... Shit... OK, that was close," you whisper to yourself.
"What was close?" a voice asks behind you.
You turn around, and see another security guard staring at you with a shotgun in his hands.
"Who the fuck are you?" he asks.

You say "Uh Ryan Gosling? I own this mansion"

"Uh, Ryan Gosling? I own this mansion," you say.
"The fuck you doing breaking into your own mansion?" he asks.

You say "I was method acting for my next film where I star as a thief with demon girlfriend. You just broke my immersion!"

"I was method acting for my next film where I star as a thief with demon girlfriend. You just broke my immersion!"
The guard stares at you, stunned.
"I... I'm sorry Mr. Gosling," the guard says, putting down his gun.

You say "That's fine. Can you tell me where I keep all of my money? This is, uh, also part of the method acting."

"That's fine. Can you tell me where I keep all of my money? This is, uh, also part of the method acting," you say.
"Uh, yeah! It's in the safe in your room on the second floor, Mr. Gosling."
"Great! Thanks, my man!"
The guard nods, and you turn to go. As you leave you hear the guard mutter "I can't believe Mr. Gosling called me 'my man'..."

You sneak to Ryan Gosling's bedroom while being careful not to get spotted.

You sneak back to Ryan Gosling's room, and quickly find the safe. The actor himself doesn't seem to be home, and his remaining guards are too busy watching re-runs of Game of Thrones to notice you.
"This safe is pretty easy. He should really get himself a better one," you think to yourself.
After a few minutes, you open the safe and take all of the money inside. You take a moment to admire your haul.

You remember you forgot to bring a heist bag and curse "Shit! Amateur mistake!"

"Shit! Amateur mistake!" you think to yourself.
Suddenly, you hear a sound behind you. You turn around to find yourself staring down the barrel of a pistol held by Ryan Gosling himself.
"Hands in the air, dammit!" Gosling says.

You put your hands up and say "Whoa, hey Goosey, buddy, put the gun down, eh?"

"Whoa, hey Goosey, buddy, put the gun down, eh?" you say.
The gun's barrel points right at your forehead as Gosling says "You callin' me 'Goosey', asshole?"
"Uh... no? I mean, Mr. Gosling?"
You see Gosling's finger start to tighten on the trigger. You have no choice but to do something.

You blurt out "Demon girls! They're hot, right?"

"Demon girls! They're hot, right?" you blurt out.
Gosling pauses, then nods slowly. "Yeah... yeah, I guess they are. What's your point?"

You say "But they're not real! They never will be! They're fictional!"

"But they're not real! They never will be! They're fictional!" you say.
Gosling's eyes narrow. He snarls, "Fictional... I don't fucking care if they're fictional! My girlfriend is fucking imaginary, but that doesn't mean I don't love her!"
You see tears welling up in Gosling's eyes.

You "Same, brother! We're kindred spirits! We're both in love with perfect people who don't exist!"

"Same, brother! We're kindred spirits! We're both in love with perfect people who don't exist!" you say.
Gosling's face softens. He sighs, then says "Thank you. No one understands."
You reach forward and gentle take the gun from him. He doesn't resist.

You toss the gun aside and hug your bro. Real life is so cruel, but at least you can find solace in your delusions.

Tossing the gun aside, you embrace Gosling in a hug. Gosling hugs you back, and thanks you for listening.
"You get it, don't you? I can tell you love demon girls, too. It's OK to embrace your love for them," Gosling says.

You say "I need a bunch of money to take my demon girlfriend on a date, but I'm broke, Ryan."

"I need a bunch of money to take my demon girlfriend on a date, but I'm broke, Ryan." you say.
Gosling smiles at you. "How much do you need?"
"All of the money in that safe," you say.
"Fuck that, the cops will be here soon. I'll give you twenty thousand. That's all I can spare," Gosling says.
"OK," you say. "I'll take it."
Gosling turns and heads to the door, putting on a pair of dark sunglasses. He says, "You seem like a swell guy. I'll give you five minutes before I call the cops."

You say "A five minute window is all I need. See you around, Ryan. Never stop loving demon girls."

"A five minute window is all I need. See you around, Ryan. Never stop loving demon girls." you say.
Ryan Gosling simply nods and heads out of the room.
After he leaves, you grab the case and make your getaway. As you're leaving the building, sirens begin to blare. The police have arrived.
You manage to run to your car before they see you, and drive away.

You haul ass back home.

You drive back to Tifid's house and pull into the driveway. You put the car in park, hop out, and head to the door.

You scan the keycard that Tifid gave you to get in.

The keycard works, and you open the front door. You step inside, and find yourself staring down the business end of a shotgun.
"Don't move," the demon holding it says. "Where's Tifid?"
"She's not here," you say.
"I saw her enter this house. I'm not stupid. Tell me where she is."

You take a good look at the demon.

The demon holding the shotgun has several eyes and a toothy mouth in their face. Their skin is bright red and they have three bony protrusions sticking out of their chin. They're wearing a pinstripe suit and two fedora hats, one on top of the other, with a tuxedo shirt and bow tie.
"Tifid's not here," you say. "She went out."
"Where?"
"Away, what's it to you?"
The demon points the shotgun at you.
"Who are you?" they ask.

You say "I'm the janitor, asshole. I came to clean the place."

"Bullshit," the demon says. "Tell me the truth."
"I am!" you say. "I'm the janitor. I'm supposed to come in and clean this place once a week."
The demon lowers the shotgun, but doesn't put it down.
"I know Tifid," they say. "She doesn't have a janitor."

You say "She's fucking rich man, she can do whatever she wants. Now you gonna let me do my job, or what?"

"You better get to cleaning," the demon says, finally putting the shotgun down. "We'll be watching you."
The demon sits down on the couch, and you walk into the kitchen.
You don't know what this demon is doing in Tifid's place, but you need to figure out how to get rid of them.

You say "Aw shit, buddy, can you help me out? I have a jar of cleaning fluid, but the lid's stuck."

"What?" the demon asks.
"I can't open this jar," you say. "I need some help."
The demon walks over to you and takes the jar. They twist it open, and peer cautiously inside.
"That's no cleaning fluid," the demon says, "This thing's empty..."

You glass him.

You smash the glass bottle in your hand over the demon's head. The glass shatters, but the demon takes it square in the temple. They collapse onto the floor, bleeding profusely. You reach down and take the shotgun off them.
"Not so tough without your gun, are you?" you say.
The demon doesn't answer, and simply snarls at you.

You press the gun against his chest and say "Who are you, and what do you want with Tifid?"

You press the shotgun against the demon's chest, but he just laughs.
"You'll have to try harder than that, KAITOU," he says. "I'm an astral demon. I don't even feel pain in this form."
The demon then morphs into a copy of you, identical save for red eyes and sharp claws.

You say "Who the hell is KAITOU?"

"Don't you know? It's what they call you in the underworld. You're the best spell thief in the business."
"I'm not a thief," you say. "I'm a janitor."
"Sure you are, buddy," the demon says. "Now give me the gun. You don't want to do that."
"Don't I?" you ask.
You raise the shotgun to the demon's head and pull the trigger. The slug explodes out the back of his head, which disperses like smoke. The hole quickly repairs itself, and the demon reforms.
"You're going to have to try harder than that," the demon laughs.
"I'm out of bullets," you say, dropping the shotgun.
The demon charges towards you, grabbing you by the collar. Their claws dig into your skin, but you remain defiant.

You look at your doppelganger and say "What the fuck man, you only keep one bullet in there?"

You look at the demon and realize you've made a mistake.
"Oh yes, I always do that. Call it insurance."
The demon slams you against the wall and holds you in the air.
"Who are you?" he asks. "One of Tifid's friends? A rival?"
You remain silent. The demon laughs.
"I'm going to take my time with you," the demon says.
The demon tosses you to the floor and raises a claw.
"First I'm going to-"
A bullet tears through the demon's head, ending his life. The demon explodes into a thick cloud of red smoke and fades away.
Tifid stands in the doorway, smoking pistol in hand. She looks at the two of you, seemingly unperturbed by what just happened.
"Sorry I'm late," she says.

You say "Tif! Holy shit, you saved my life!"

You run over to Tifid and wrap your arms around her. She hugs you back, then slaps you in the face.
"What the fuck?" you say, holding your stinging cheek.
"You should know how to handle yourself better!" Tifid scolds. "You let a guy like that get the better of you? You could have died if I hadn't made it in time!"

You say "The gun didn't work because he was astral or some shit. How come your gun worked?"

"I didn't use regular bullets," she explains, twirling the pistol around her finger. "I filled them with my own blood. It works pretty well, as you can see."
Tifid grabs you and hugs you once again.
"You're a mess," she laughs, wiping blood off your face. "Let's get you cleaned up."
As Tifid helps you through the heist base to the medical station, you ask her all the things on your mind.
You have so many questions, and she answers them patiently, one by one.

"Why did you come home? I thought you had classes today."
"I do," she replies. "But I got a security alert from the base, and it wasn't you so I got worried and left. I'm glad I did."

You say "Sorry, I made you skip class to save my dumb ass."

"It's fine," she says. "I'm actually glad you're okay. You did good work today. Let's get you cleaned up."
Tifid takes you to the medical station, where you're patched up by a med bot. You feel much better after that. It's been a long time since you've had a genuine injury like this, and it's refreshing in some way. The human body is resilient.

You say "By the way, how did you know which one was the real me? That guy copied my looks and everything."

"Oh, it was easy," she says, leaning close. "The real Gil... smells like me."
Tifid nuzzles you on the neck, and you blush.
"It helps to mark things that are yours," she explains with a wink. She then turns around and heads back into the hall.
"Oh my God, that was so hot," you whisper to yourself.

You follow Tifid back to the kitchen to examine the dead astral demon's clothes.

You follow Tifid back to the kitchen, where the astral demon's clothes lie in a pile. His two fedoras are torn and charred from Tifid's shot, but the rest of his clothes appear untouched, as if they were never worn.

You say "So who was this guy? He kept asking if you were home. He even knew about me."

"I have no idea," Tifid says. "This is the first I've seen him. He knew too much to be a coincidence, though."
"You didn't recognize him or anything?"
"Nope," she says. "Never saw him in my life."
You pause, looking at the pile of clothes in thought.

You say "He called me KAITOU, apparently that's what the criminal underworld is calling me now. I didn't know I was that famous."

"Well you are now," she says, laughing. "Criminals love code names. You're lucky the demon didn't know your real name. It's probably best if we keep it a secret."
You nod in agreement.

You say "Do you have a criminal code name Tif? You got around way more than I ever did."

Tifid chuckles. You sense a slight nervousness in her voice.
"Who, me? N-No, of course not!" she says. "I wasn't really doing anything that interesting, anyways. I'm too by-the-books to earn a code name."

You say "Ha! Nice try, but you're a terrible liar! Come on, tell me! Please?"

Tifid sighs, then starts to blush.
"Fine," she says. "But please, this is just between you and me, okay? It was a long time ago."
You nod furiously. There's no way you're letting this one get out.
"Fine..." she begins, taking a deep breath. "They called me DARK-EYE. DARK-EYE the Invisible. Like the superheroes in the comic books, okay?"
Tifid looks away, a bit too embarrassed. She goes to cover her face with her hands, but even the tips of her fingers are turning red.

You sputter and say "Wait a minute, YOU'RE the DARK-EYE?! The one behind the legendary Larion Bank Heist?!"

"Please," she says, her voice dropping an octave. "Don't tell anyone. I was young and stupid, okay? I'm a serious professional now."
"Oh come on!" you say, incredulous. "You can't just drop a detail like that on me and expect me to forget about it!"
"I said drop it!" she says, turning away from you.

You say "Holy shit, I can't believe you're the DARK-EYE. I looked up to you when I was a kid, you know! I followed all of your exploits in the paper!"

"You did?" she asks, genuinely surprised.
"Yeah! I remember seeing your photos on the news and in magazines. You looked so cool and collected, wearing a black hoodie and that awesome eyeball mask!"
"Stop...!" she says, looking away. "I told you, it was a long time ago."

You say "I even remember your signature catchphrase!"

You turn to face her and open your mouth. Tifid tackles you before you can even get the first word out.
"No! Don't say it!" she says, her voice shrill.
"Why? I remember perfectly!" you tease.
"I'll die of embarrassment if you say it!" she pleads.
"Okay, okay!" you reassure her. "I won't say it."
She looks at you and nods slowly.
"Thank you..."

You pull her close and whisper the catchphrase into her ear.

Just when Tifid lets her guard down, you whisper her old catchphrase:
"Darkness has its eye on you!"
"Aaaugh!" she yells, covering your mouth.
"You're such an asshole! I knew you'd say it!" she says, but you can hear the laughter in her voice.

You pry her hands away and say "It's awesome! I used to yell that at bullies when I tried to take them on, you know!"

"Really?" she asks.
"Yeah!" you say. "I'd stomp up to them and go 'Hey! Darkness has its eye on you! Watch the fuck out!'"
You put on a silly voice and continue, "And then I'd get my ass handed to me!"
"Hah! It's because you didn't say it right!" she laughs. "Say it like this: 'Hey, you shitty dick! Dark...' uh, wait, that's not right. Um... shit..."
She covers her mouth when she realizes what you're making her do.

You say "Aw, that was so close!"

"Fuck you, you're enjoying this!" she says, tackling you once again.
"No, it was great! Really!" you protest. "You're a natural!"
"Oh, fuck off," she says. "Come on, did you forget we had an intruder in the place just minutes ago?"
She stands up and holds out her hand to pull you up.

You say "Hey, Tif? I knew demons lived longer... but if you were DARK-EYE when I was a kid then..."

You trail off as you realize something.
"Is there a problem?" Tifid asks, her eyes narrowing.
"Uh, no! No problem!" you say. "Just, uh, you're really young! You know, I thought demons lived longer."
"We do," she says, a hard edge entering her voice.
"Oh! Right!" you say. "What I meant was... uh... I just..."
Tifid puts a finger to your lips, a small smile on her face.
"Hush, Gilly," she says. "Just shut your adorable mouth."

You say through her finger "I always had a thing for older women anyway."

"What did I just say?" Tifid asks.
She pulls you in for a kiss, and you let it happen. You figure it's the best way to shut yourself up.

You break off the kiss and say "Oh yeah, we should keep looking through that dead demon's clothes for clues as to who he works for."

"Sure, let's do that," Tifid says.
You quickly go through the demon's pockets and pouches, but don't find anything.
You thought there might at least be an emblem or something, but nothing turns up.
"Fuck, I've got nothing," you say. "There's not even a body left on account of him being astral and all that."
"I could get someone to look at these clothes, it might lead to something," Tifid says.

You suddenly hug Tifid close, more intimately than you usually do.

"Hey," Tifid says, "what's this all of a sudden?"
You kiss her on the cheek, then whisper in her ear.
"Sorry... I just... don't want to lose you."
Tifid's face turns red.
"Fuck's sake, Gil, we just went through this. I'm not going anywhere," she says, clearly flustered.

You say "I know, but that bastard was clearly looking for you, I just happened to come home first... if it'd been you..."

"I'm not going anywhere, Gil," she says again.
"I... suppose you're right," you say.
"You really need to calm down, Gil. I've seen you in a fight before. You're a damn beast."
Tifid smiles, and you return it.
"Wanna make some dinner?" she asks.
"Yeah," you say. "Let's do that."
You and Tifid go into the kitchen. She begins preparing some pasta while you cut up some tomatoes, garlic, and basil for the sauce. Tifid has so many spices in her kitchen it boggles your mind. You pick the ones you know and end up making a delicious dinner.
You help Tifid wash the dishes after you're done eating.
"I have to study for an exam, do you wanna keep me company?" Tifid asks.

You say "Do you even have to ask? I'm not too good with books but I could help you if you want."

"I'll help you study, then," you say.
You and Tifid go into the living room. You begin reading aloud from a textbook while Tifid takes notes. It takes hours, but eventually you finish going through everything she has to study.
"Thanks for helping me, Gil," she says as you put away the book.
"Don't mention it," you say.
"Now that that's out of the way... wanna do something fun?"
"Like what?" you ask.
Tifid puts her finger to her lips and smirks.
"It's a surprise. You'll like it, trust me," she says.
You look at her, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.
"What is it?" you ask.
"You'll see when we get there. Let's go."
Tifid grabs your hand and the two of you enter an elevator near the back of the secret base. She looks at you nervously for a moment, opening and closing her mouth a few times before speaking again.
"So... there's something I want to tell you," she says.
"What?" you ask.
"No, no, it's nothing bad! It's just... well, it's about a past relationship I had."

You say "It's fine, I know you dated other people before. If anything I'm the weird one... I didn't exactly have a very social upbringing."

"No, this is different," Tifid says.
"How so?" you ask.
Tifid sighs, looking nervous as the elevator doors open. You find yourself in an ornate room covered in velvet curtains and decorated with statues. It looks completely different from the other, more modern rooms of the secret base.
Large tapestries adorn the walls, each one depicting a great demon lord from centuries past. You recognize some of them.
There's Pellius Buer, Tifid's father and the current President of Demonkind.
Rostov Malphas, a well-known demon lord who owns a famous entertainment district in Sinful Bliss City.
And there's others, most of whom you've only heard of in passing.

You say "What is this place?"

"This is where the old demon lords used to meet to make decisions," Tifid explains.
She walks along the hall, running her hands along the tapestries as she looks at them.
"Or they did, anyway. After the peace treaty was signed, it's mostly been used for storage. That's why this room is so ornate. It was the meeting place, so it got the best decorations."
Tifid walks to a wooden door, opening it. Inside is a large, round table. The table has clawed feet and is covered by a purple tablecloth. Twelve chairs surround it.

You say "Holy shit! So this is like the demon round table? Or the demon war room?"

"I guess," Tifid says, sounding bored. "It was where the Lords of Hell made their plans centuries ago."
She walks over to the table and sits in one of the chairs, resting her head on the table. You walk over to her, sitting in a chair opposite her.

You say "Wow, I feel like a badass just sitting here, and I'm not even a demon!"

"You are a badass," Tifid says, smiling at you.
"I am?"
"Yeah. You're my badass."
"Aw man... you're making me go red..." you say, blushing.
Tifid laughs, getting up from her seat and walking over to you. She wrap her arms around you and nuzzles her head against your shoulders.
"You're so adorable," she says.
Tifid looks at you, her eyes glinting. She leans towards you, and you happily meet her half way for a kiss. She slides one hand along your jaw as she kisses you, while her other hand slides down your chest and rests on your thigh.

You say "So uh, is this what you wanted to show me?"

"Oh! Uh... n-no. It isn't," Tifid stutters, adjusting her collar before clearing her throat. "Come on, we have to go further in."
Tifid grabs your hand and pulls you up. She leads you through a set of doors at the back of the demon war room and into another hall.
While you walk, she continues speaking.
"So... um... about that past relationship I was talking about..."
"Yeah?" you ask.
"Please don't overreact, Gil. Try to understand, okay?" she says, nervously.

You say "It can't be that bad... unless you're still seeing the guy behind my back. Please don't say you've been seeing him behind my back..."

"No! No, nothing like that! I'd never!" Tifid says, quickly. Her tone turns from unsure to anger.
"Well, as long as th-" you can't even finish your reply before Tifid cuts you off.
"Listen up, Gil. I want you to get one thing straight. I'd never cheat on you. Never. EVER. Do you understand?" she says, as a cold determination enters her eyes.
"Yes. I under-"
"I would NEVER cheat on you," she interrupts. You notice the air around her shimmering as her body temperature rises.
"Okay! I unders-"
"I would NEVER. CHEAT. ON YOU." she says, emphasizing each word.
"Alright, alright! Jesus..." you mutter, intimidated by her stare and her aggressiveness.
Tifid lowers her voice.
"And you have my word, that if I ever find out some filthy, treacherous fucking skank has laid their hands on this..." she says as she grabs your cheek and pulls,
"Or this..." she says as she grabs your crotch,
"...while you're supposed to be mine, I'll deliver unto this planet a wrath that even the Old Testament would blush at. I'll sink this rock straight into its own fucking sun."
You nod. You nod so intensely that you feel your neck hurting afterward.
"Yes, Sir!" you say.
She smiles, satisfied with your answer.
"Good! I trust you, Gilly!" she says.
You feel a sense of unease, but also incredible arousal.

You say "Sorry I doubted you. Really."

Tifid doesn't seem angry anymore, but she's still pouting.
"Unlike you humans, we demons live by contracts and deals. You know that." she says, turning away from you. "A relationship is a contract. I trust you. I hope you trust me."

You say "I do! I'm really sorry. Forgive me?"

Tifid turns to you, furrowing her eyebrows.
"You're sorry? Just sorry? After what you said?"

You hug her from behind and say "Please forgive me. I'll cry if you don't. Don't make a grown man cry, Tifid!"

She chuckles.
"Well, I wouldn't want to be the cause of a grown man crying..." she says.
She turns around and hugs you, resting her head on your shoulder.
"There, there, I forgive you. You didn't mean it." she says.
You hug her back, grinning.

You say "So tell me what you wanted to say already."

"Oh, yeah. Well, technically... I had a fiance at one point." she says.
"Oh?" you say. "What happened?"
"I beat that fucker until he begged for his life," she says, bluntly.
"Now this I gotta hear." you say, chuckling.
"It was back during the war. My dad was an even bigger deal than he is now. As his daughter, I was practically a princess of Hell. So it was decided... my husband was to be someone of equal status on the human side."
"So what happened?" you ask.
"Well, back then, the most powerful faction on the human side was the Holy Covenant. They had all the rich people and the powerful people in their pocket. I was set to be married to an adjudicator's son." she says.
"Wait, you were going to be married to a human?" you ask. "Why would your dad allow that?"
"He fought it, but in the end the other demon lords overruled him. Everyone was getting sick of the war. If that was the way to peace, then so be it." she says.

You say "An arranged marriage? That sounds so old fashioned, though."

"You get used to it. The war was pretty hellish, and most of us were just happy it was ending, Arranged marriages and all."
"I suppose that makes sense," you say.
"Anyway, long story short, the marriage deal turned out to be a sham. The Holy Covenant was never going to accept it. They were trying to kidnap me. My would-be husband held me at gunpoint and tried to force me to drink a love potion. I beat him so severely he ended up in a coma. They didn't expect a 'princess' to fight back like that." she says, laughing.
"That's pretty crazy. I'm surprised you didn't get into even more trouble." you say.
"Oh, I did. They said I was to be executed for attempted murder, but my father intervened and told them to fuck off. The Holy Covenant wasn't going to take me as a hostage after that, so the war continued. They say that the failed deal set back the end of the war by a decade."

You say "Hey so, just out of curiosity, what was that guy's name? The one you were supposed to marry?"

"Uh...his name was Kit." she says.

You say "I'LL KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER"

"Well good news then, he's probably already dead."
"I'm not taking any chances," you say.
"No, really, this happened decades ago," Tifid says. "Plus, I haven't heard about him since the war ended. He probably got himself killed by the fighting."

You say "I'll find his sorry ass corpse, bring it back to life, then kill him again."

"Don't be silly," she says. "Even if he were still alive, he'd be an old man by now. Let sleeping dogs lie."
"You're probably right," you say. "Is that what it feels like to be jealous?"
"You're jealous?" she says, putting her hand to her chest and feigning shock.

You say "I dunno, something about that name just fucks with me. Like he's wronged me in a thousand different timelines or something."

"Trust me, you don't have anything to worry about. I barely knew him, and he's dead now anyway."
Now it's your turn to be in a bad mood. You spend the rest of the trip down the long hallway sulking. Tifid seems to pick up on this.
"Sorry, I knew you'd care too much about it, but you had the right to know."
"You don't need to apologize. I get it, even if I don't necessarily like it," you say.
"Besides, I didn't tell you that story for nothing. Here, come look!" Tifid gestures for you to follow her into a room at the end of the hallway.

You enter the room with Tifid.

The room looks like a combination between an armory and a giant safety vault. There are anitquated weapons of all kinds hanging from the walls and ceiling. You spot several swords, axes, maces, morning stars, pole-arms, spears, bows, crossbows, and even a couple of old flintlock pistols. The floor is mostly empty except for a red carpet in the center.

You say "Whoa... Phat loot."

"Yeah, this room was built to keep my most valuable treasures safe. Nobody else has ever been in here except for me... well, until now, that is."
You put your hand on a nearby sword.
"Hey, be careful!" Tifid says, smacking your hand away. "These are demonic weapons that can kill you if you don't know what you're doing. Look, I'll show you."
Tifid pulls the sword off the wall. Her arm immediately catches on fire.
"See? If I were a human, I would have been cinders in an instant. However, since I'm a demon of flame, this doesn't hurt at all."
"Oh. Neat," you say with a blank expression.
Tifid laughs and shakes her head.
"This is nothing compared to what I really want to show you."
Tifid walks over to the back of the vault, where there is a small box. It's much more simple-looking than all the other crates and containers in the room.
It's made out of wood, and the patterns on it make it look like a fancy jewelry box. Tifid walks back over to you, carrying the box.
"This... this is what I really want to show you."
Tifid puts the box in your hands. It's surprisingly light for something made of wood.
"Open it," she commands, more gently than before.
You carefully open the box.

You peer inside.

You look inside the box, and see nothing at first. Then, as your eyes adjust, you see something shimmering on top of the black, velvet lining.
It looks like a thin piece of glass, large enough to resemble a dagger. Once you become aware of the object's existence, the rest of it miraculously fades into view. It's so clearly visible now that you wonder how you'd missed it before. It seems to be a flawless crystal resembling amethyst. You pull the object out of the box to examine it closer. On one end is a golden handle, the other end pointed and sharp. It is beautiful, but you are confused as to what it could be.
"What is it?" you ask. "It's absolutely gorgeous."
"Shh..." Tifid puts a finger to her lips. "I'm going to tell you, but you have to try to guess."
You examine the object in your hand, turning it over several times.
"Is it... an arrowhead?"
"Not quite."
"A dagger?"
"Half right. Try again."
You continue to try to guess what the object in your hand could be for a few more tries.
"I'll give you a hint," Tifid says. She takes your hand in hers, and places it against her chest. "Feel that?"

You try to guess what Tifid means.

Tifid's chest rises and falls as she breathes. You feel your hand heat up against her chest.
You realize that a similar heat is coming off of the strange object in your hand.
"Tif... this is...?"
"Yes," she says. "It's my heart."
"That's..." you pause. You have no words. You feel dizzy. "But... how?"
"We demons are different from you humans, Gilly. Our flesh and blood are interweaved with magic. We are composed of it. When we bleed, when we spit, when we cry... all of that is magic in a way."
She takes your hand off her chest and places it over the dagger, then closes your fingers over the hilt.
"This was forged in my heart. It's made of the same stuff as I am. I want you to have it."
"You can't be serious! I can't take something like that!" you exclaim.
"It's meant to be given away, Gil. And besides..." Tifid gives you a little smile. "It already feels like it belongs to you."

You say "I'll cherish it. I'll keep it safe forever. This is Spell Thief Gil's greatest treasure. I'll never find anything greater for as I long as I live."

Tifid giggles.
"Don't be so dramatic, Gilly. It's actually meant to be a weapon, you know."
"So the shape of the blade isn't just for show?" you ask, turning the dagger around in the light.
"Nothing about me is just for show."

You say "Well I knew that, but after what you just said I'm not sure I want to be swinging this thing around."

"Gilly, don't be a coward. I want to see how well you can use it!"
Tifid grabs your hand and leads you all the way back up to the firing range on the main floor of the secret base. You've never been here before.
"You can break anything you want in here. Go on, Gilly! Give it a whirl!"

You give the knife a few practice twirls to see how it handles.

You twirl the knife around and feel it quickly, easily spinning in your grip.
"What the... it's like it just does whatever I want. It's so balanced and perfectly weighted. I've never seen anything like it."
"I told you, Gil. Nothing about me is just for show."

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Pub: 18 Dec 2020 04:56 UTC
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