I haven’t felt anything in years, love, happiness and even anger is a foreign concept to me
I felt like a stranger when my friends found love and it didn’t even hurt when they left me behind
What am I missing? Why am I broken? Is it love?
I tried to find love, but I don’t even know where to start
I found someone long distance, in a small lego community, we chatted all night and I even laughed, I have never before felt something like this
Is this love
Do I love anon?
We planed an anime watch along together and I suggested VC
Anon agreed and we started talking and it quickly became, dirty, I don’t know how to talk dirty but I guess I followed the mood
I felt alive, is this how it feels to be alive?
Looking outside I saw color, the world felt more vibrant than before, like I saw the it for the first time
this must be love
I asked one of our shared friends what she knew about Anon and she told me Anon were nice but a bit flirty
flirty?
what do you mean
not just with me?
She told me Anon had an IRL girlfriend but always were flirty around girls in the group
why
why
why
I called Anon on VC, but he did not pick up
why am I crying
why does it hurt so?
I type to him that we need to talk
an hour later I see him writing a reply
It was some bullshit about not meaning to lead me on
So this is anger
Not anger at him
But anger towards myself
why did I think love was for me?
I feel like im drowning
Why wont anyone save me
why am I all alone

I got an email
Seem a company wants me to join
They want me to be a part of hololive
a fresh start
a second chance
I will be better

I just want friends
I just want to be happy
I just want to feel something again

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Pub: 17 Oct 2021 00:05 UTC
Views: 135